To the Wind
by AdventWing
Summary: Rukia's decided that since she lives in Ichigo's closet, it's okay to spend a week in a house with him. Alone. Or as alone as they can be with an AI Butler, Mad Scientist slash Home Ec teacher and their crazy friends and family. IchiRuki Pre-SS Arc AU
1. Leashed and shackled, need I say more?

Disclaimer and notes: No, I don't own Bleach, and if anyone asks, the timeline in this fic is shot to hell. Let's just say it takes place in one of those all-too-handy little pockets in our world where time and space have no meaning. This will be a short fic, and mostly I'm just hell-bent on exploring Ichigo's and Rukia's relationship and respective characters, so don't expect Ichigo to release a Bankai anytime soon.

EDIT: Reads way better now. Enjoy.

EDIT 02: Reads even better(?) Less plot holes now definitely. …But who cares XD

**To the Wind**  
_By AdventWing_

Rukia hadn't been here long, but she prided herself over gaining a quick and concise understanding of the life of an average teenage student.

Her research materials were easily accessible, detailed, and quickly consumed.

What were her research materials you ask?

…Television, Magazines, Books, and Manga, of course.

So, yes, Rukia took great pride in her achievements, and that pride was not unfounded. She didn't want to brag, but…she had single-handedly perfected the "Mysterious Transfer Student" persona.

Crafting the right personality was a difficulty of course…but in the end, her instincts had settled on what Ichigo liked to call 'Kuchiki Rukia! (sparkles)'.

The results were as you see. Total integration into the High School, with no suspicions as to her true nature.

Yeah. Great pride.

So, whenever a situation resulted in less than favourable circumstances due a _lack_ of knowledge on her part, to react badly was a knee-jerk thing.

"…Rukia. Just what were you thinking?"

And well, Ichigo too, hadn't been here long. 15 years is far too short a time to make one a Sage.

"…You…_really_…should have asked me first." He said as he stared at the forms in his hands with an almost tangible air of dismay. "…I mean _really_."

…Yet at this point, he felt himself to be infinitely smarter than Rukia.

"Just fill them up." She grabbed a pen from the side of his desk.

"…Why?" he mumbled.

"What? I can't hear you." She placed the point of her pen on one sheet, poised to begin.

Ichigo was suddenly there, his hand grabbing her wrist. She looked up and frowned at a twitch of his right eyebrow, resolving to tell him about it at a later date. It was getting worse all month.

"Rukia…why..." A pause. "…Why…didn't you ask me _first_?"

Rukia smiled smugly. She would have been the poster girl of self-confidence, if it weren't for that sweatdrop making its way down the side of her face.

"…For what? As if one should hesitate when given an educational opportunity." She _did not_ want to admit this was a mistake.

Especially to Ichigo.

Yet.

"…Educational." Ichigo echoed. "…Educational." He repeated. His eyebrows scrunched together in disgust. "Who fed you that line and where does he live?"

Rukia glared at him pointedly. "I believe it will be so. No one told me to say that."

Ichigo stared at her flatly. "Really?"

"Really." She replied stiffly, turning back to the form.

Ichigo let out a groan. He was in too much _despair_ to get out of the anger-denial loop.

Maybe later.

"…You filled out the initial forms?"

Rukia nodded stiffly, her expression the same. "…Yes."

"You filled it out perfectly? No chance of any mistakes?"

She nodded again, if possible, even more stiffly. "…No. No chance."

"…No chance that they'll return or revoke your request?"

"…No. I signed a…a contract." Her façade slipped, and she sunk onto the table with a moan.

"…A what? A contract? Do you know what that is?"

"…Yes."

"THEN YOU'RE A MORON!"

Her fist met his chin with a sharp crack.

--

Home Economics was a new subject in school, pioneered by the one and only Evil Head of Home Economics, a friend and schoolmate of the school's principal. Over drinks one day, they had discussed its potential as a subject. The Principal was impressed. There was one very important problem. The subject was not taken very seriously by most of the student population. After all, most had no intention of raising a family (yet?), so why the hell should they LEARN how to raise one?

In order to keep attendance up, The Evil Home Economics Director (Who was actually a mad scientist, but was so obsessed with Home Economics that he majored in both when he went to University) got an idea. And, since the Principal himself was a strange, partially senile old coot, he agreed.

When the announcement came out; that two people, no matter their gender, would be chosen to spend a week in a house to replicate married life, two things happened. A sizable portion of the school squealed, and the other half went: "WHAT THE HELL?"

Of course, Rukia hadn't heard that. All she heard was this:

"_**The two students, as they will be part of the experiment and will no doubt learn from it, will receive special recommendations in their Home Economics grade for the rest of their education in this school."**_

Here are the facts: Rukia was failing Home Ec. Actually; she was failing everything except Japanese Literature (Which she excelled at) and Math (Which was one of the subjects being tutored to her by Ichigo).

And so, while girlfriends were grabbing their boyfriends and attempting to drag them to the stand, and while boyfriends, seeing an opportunity to get lucky, started searching for their girlfriends, and while the other bloody portion of the student body weighed the pros and cons of going for it, Kuchiki Rukia simply marched up to the stand and filled out a form.

The fact that Ichigo was failing Home Ec too, cemented his place as her partner in her mind.

After all, they already live together. What was the big deal?

…When she found out about the marriage part, it took all her willpower and more not to flip.

**--**

Rukia frowned. "Okay fine, so I made a slight error in judgment. It's no problem."

Ichigo glared. "Idiot. Do I _look_ like a loving husband to you?"

A familiar cracking of knuckles filled the air. "Well, _dear_, you'd better start _acting_ like one."

Ichigo moved his jaw a little. It still hurt, so not retorting as wise.

Flopping on the bed irritably with a soft _tch_ of irritation, it was a bit before he spoke again. "…So, how am I gonna break this to my family?"

She looked up and blinked. "Easy."

--

"Hajimemashita! I'm Kuchiki Rukia, and I will be your son's wife for a week! It's great to meet you!"

Isshin jaw dropped to the floor. "Ichigo…! Th-THIS SWEET YOUNG GIRL IS YOUR PARTNER?" Sparkles helped to enhance the serene smile on Rukia's face, and she laughed in embarrassment at the compliment.

"…Yeah." Ichigo deadpanned, watching 'Kuchiki Rukia! (sparkles)' work his family. "And stop screaming."

Isshin was at her side in an instant. "My dear, I am Ichigo's unworthy father. If I may, you are a vision of—"

Ichigo grabbed his father's shirt and glared. "Oi, bastard! What the hell are you—"

"Wow, we have the same taste in clothes! I have a dress that looks exactly like that!"

"…Really?" Rukia asked lightly.

Yuzu smiled brightly. "It's wonderful that we share the same taste! I'm sure you'll take good care of Onii-san!"

Karin eyed Rukia with a calculated look. "Hmmm."

Rukia swallowed quietly. Here was the real test. After all, Karin was a sharp one. Her eyes narrowed, and the two held their breath. She suddenly whirled to face Ichigo.

"…It took you long enough, Ichi-nii." She grinned.

--

"See?"

Ichigo groaned; a cold, wet towel pressed against his face. "That was incredibly embarrassing. I'd rather take on Hollows."

Rukia rolled her eyes, but silently agreed. "I read from a very reliable source that if the family of a spouse accepts the marriage, half the battle is won."

Ichigo paused. _A reliable source..._

_...meaning manga._

"It could've been worse," she said, sitting beside him.

"…Yeah."

"…And since we don't have to worry about my family…"

_Rukia's family…I wonder what are they're like?_

Her voice tuned out.

_She's never talked about them. Should I even care what they're like?_

_Do Shinigami even have family?_

"…Right? Ichigo?

_What the hell? I shouldn't care. If Rukia doesn't want to talk about it, then I'm not going to think about it._

Wham! "Pay attention."

"Bitch!" He ground out nasally, clutching his nose.

_And if they're anything like her…! _

--

"Okay, explain to me again."

Ichigo frowned. "You're being exceptionally slow."

"I want to make sure I get it!"

"Okay! …As you know, we are exempted from a week of school."

"Yeah. Meaning, tomorrow, the two of us are going to be placed in a house. We are expected to be a married couple there."

"Right, married. In case you FORGOT, like you completely IGNORED what the Director was saying," he chastised sarcastically.

Ichigo watched her suspiciously. She was thinking seriously again. She had that cute little frown of concentration that was a little different from the one she wore when she was thinking about something life-threatening. "What now?" He asked, his voice devoid of malice. She sometimes had the ability to suck it out of him like that. …_And the ability to inject it in litres…_

"…Nothing. Continue."

_Ugh, what now? _She thought furiously. _Ichigo doesn't seem to think this is such a big deal. I thought we could come up with a way to avoid this…but…he seems to want to marry me. Dammit. I was hoping he'd start a whole "Who would marry you" speech but he hasn't even voiced real opposition to the idea…_ She forced the glowing warmth in her face down. Insane. She couldn't. _I can't._

"…I can't do this." She tried to keep the edge to her voice out.

"-and we can only go out of the house during planned— what?"

"I can't do this." She said, placing a little more emphasis on the words. "I'm sorry." She said. "It was my mistake. I…I can't do this."

"You can't…?" he snorted derisively. "Well, moron, you sure as hell are going to try."

"No. You don't understand. I can't." It was more than the fact that she was Shinigami and he was mortal. _The poise needed to be a wife, the strict codes and rituals, the manners, how to host guests, I don't know them! I'd have to be like…Aniki-sama's wife…and there's no way I could act like her! There's no way…. _

"_**So what if she looks like her? She'll never be half the woman she was. She was a diamond in the rough. That girl…Rukia is trash."**_

"Oi." He snapped his fingers. "Rukia."

"I asked you this question before. Does it look like I'd make a loving husband?"

She nodded.

"What did you say?"

"I said…you'd better start acting like one…but you don't understand, I can't be a wi-"

He smacked her on the head lightly with the paper file.

"Ow! Ichigo! Do you want to die-"

"Now, I bet you have some problem being a spouse or whatever. I don't really care. We aren't really going to get married, and who the hell cares about that 'perfect wife' shit?" He threw her a sharp glare. "Got it?"

She blinked. "…We aren't…?"

Ichigo couldn't feel his jaw drop as realization dawned on him. "…YOU THOUGHT WE WERE REALLY GOING TO GET MARRIED?"

She flushed in indignation. "Like I'd marry you! I was going to talk with the Director so we wouldn't have to be married after the week was over!"

"…" A strange, new expression that Rukia hadn't really seen yet grew on his face. He spun around to hide it, and his hand flew to his face. His shoulders shook, and Rukia heard a very distinct…snicker—

_Bastard! He's laughing at me! _Rukia blushed further. "Stop laughing! Of course I would have assumed that-"

"I'm not-_Mmph_-laughing…"

She grabbed his shoulder to deliver the fist of justice to his face, but he surprised her by turning around and lightly poking the tip of her nose. She glared, cross-eyed at his index finger. "Ow," she muttered nasally, flicking his hand away.

"So…you thought we were getting married?" He asked, smugly. "…I think you need to pay more attention when the teacher is speaking." His grin widened at the discomfort he was causing. When did he get to tease Rukia without getting hit?

"Or, I need to do more research." She said stiffly, retreating into the closet.

Quiet laughter graced her ears. "Stop that!"

--

Rukia quietly slipped into Karin's room, and towards the bookcase where she kept her manga.

_I'll show that clown! _She began to root through the case. _If I knew where Ichigo kept HIS manga, then I'm sure I wouldn't get caught with misinterpretation! Maybe it's on top of his shelf…? …I need some kind of information on MODERN married couples…ah, here's one. _She blinked at the cover. _Futari…Ecchi?_

Her face went red, and she blinked furiously after averting her gaze.

_In the name of-…what the seven hells is Ichigo's sister doing with this!_

She pushed it away, and grabbed another. _…There have to be…different ones._

Seventy plus unsuccessful manga later, she went back to Futari Ecchi.

And didn't sleep a wink.

--

"…"

Rukia growled. "What?"

"…Rukia…" _Should I say it?_ Ichigo asked himself.

Rukia ran a hand through her hair and blushed furiously. _Does he suspect that…no, he couldn't have found the manga! _It hit her. _Maybe…it's his?_

"…Before we go…I need to say something." He said, leaning in closer. She backed away.

"O-Oh?" She shook her head to clear the haze. "If you're going to reprimand me-"

"…You look dead." He deadpanned, with the grin one could only achieve when one was telling a bad joke.

…Despite the fact that he was now on the floor, with yet another rather painful bruise, he snickered. "Dead…."

--

"Good Morning! I am Katobeto, the evil HE Director, and I'm so happy to meet my two new lab rat-I mean…volunteers…"

Ichigo's jaw dropped, as did Rukia's.

He was a man of short stature. Round glasses framed his seemingly well-meaning face, and he had a well-trimmed moustache. He was also balding.

To Rukia, he seemed like every mad scientist she had seen on TV.

Ichigo agreed.

Oh, this did not bode well.

"Here are a copy of the rules and regulations that appeared in the contract that Kuchiki-san signed in the absence of a guardian." A glare was thrown to her. She returned it.

"So, follow the rules, because your Home Economics grade is on the line."

"…What?"

"I said, if you don't follow the rules, I will fail the both of you." He grinned.

Rukia got the hint.

Ichigo didn't.

"Hey, now, what kind of-OW" Ichigo frowned at Rukia, rubbing his sore shin.

Rukia threw him a meaningful glance in response, and smiled her best at Katobeto-san. "We understand, Teacher. We will do our best to uphold the contract."

He clapped his hands in glee. "Then let's begin. Kurosaki-kun, carry your bride into the house."

A short pause followed, after which Katobeto-san found himself staring at two very life-like deamons.

Needless to say, Ichigo didn't have to carry Rukia into the house.

_Tsuzuku_

Wohoo. Re-re-re-uploaded. The rush never fades.

These two are so much fun! Can't help but enjoy writing them. Anyway, this theme has most probably been written to death, but it's still one of my favourites. Anyway, my evil intent for this couple is personified in Katobeto-san. Let's see what he can do.

Where's Kon, you ask? I left him with Orihime. (A nice way of saying, "he's been taken care of" **cracky-ty knuckle effect** )

Also, if you see a plot, you're mistaken.

Kidding.

Or am I?

**gestures to the button **If you made it all the way here, you may as well drop a line.


	2. The First Day of the Rest of your Week

Disclaimer and notes: No, I don't own Bleach.

**To the Wind  
Chapter 2**  
_By AdventWing_

Ichigo had long since brainwashed himself into ignoring Rukia's presence. No, he did not ignore the fact that she was a girl. That would require time, and persistence…drugs…and besides, he doubted he even wanted to do it anyway.

What he HAD done, however, was make sure that he didn't jump her every time she went to change in his closet (Which was easy, since Ichigo's not the kind of guy who'd jump a girl like that)

It helped that he had two sisters to kill the awkward feelings that crop up whenever a guy his age is in close contact with a girl.

Problem is, Ichigo just couldn't see Rukia as his sister.

"…I-Incredible."

Like now, when the expression of wonder on her face brought out the midnight blue of her eyes-

Stop.

There, you see? He was cracking already.

"All this," she said, gazing at the living room, "is ours?"

Ichigo nodded absently. With a sigh, he grabbed the bags roughly. "Let's unpack. I'll show you what everything does later."

"So, Ichigo, it says here…that we have to live here for a week, and put our Home Economics skills to the test." Ichigo glanced at Rukia. She was reading the list that Mad-Scientist-turned-Teacher-san gave them.

"I knew that. So?"

Rukia frowned thoughtfully. "Here's something you don't know. We have to write a report of the day's activities."

Ichigo raised an eyebrow, but didn't look too perturbed. "No problem. I'm pretty good at that."

"Me too. We Shinigami have to write reports every now and again." She continued. "However…we both need to give separate reports."

Ichigo eyed her as he set the suitcases down in the master bedroom. "I see…okay. Ask me if you don't know the names of specific items."

"Indeed. Nyamo-sensei commented that my last essay was…too descriptive." Ichigo couldn't help but grin.

He had set the suitcases on top of the bed. "Okay, I'm going to unpack."

Rukia nodded, murmuring her assent, immersed in the list.

"Where do I put your stuff?" He said, rooting in a bag.

"Oh? Just leave it there. I'll unpack after you."

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't forget." He grabbed his toiletries bag and headed into the bathroom. "Try not to mix up your stuff with mine here." He called out. "Put your tooth…brush…"

…Wait a minute.

Ichigo's bag hit the floor with a thud.

Rukia looked up from her position on the bed to see Ichigo doing his best impression of a man being chased by carnivores. "Hey. Where do you think you're going?"

_Shit! Fuck! God DAMN it! _He cursed desperately. _There HAS to be more than one bedroom. THERE HAS TO BE!_ He checked the entire upper level in 10 seconds flat. Realising he had to widen his search criteria, he ran downstairs and searched for SOMETHING, ANYTHING that looked remotely like a bed.

Fruitless, he collapsed back on the floor next to the bed in the master bedroom, with a very bemused Rukia looking on.

"…Problem?"

He grit his teeth and sat up so he was eye-level with her.

"We are NOT staying in the same room." He said testily.

Rukia blinked in understanding. "Ah. Is there another bedroom?"

"No. But that doesn't matter. We are NOT staying in the same room." Ichigo growled.

She glared challenging, getting the hint. "I've shared rooms with guys before, and I practically live in YOUR closet." Her look turned angry. "And no, I won't sleep in a closet for this week. There's no point."

He glared back. "Rukia…aren't you even a LITTLE embarrassed to be sharing a room with a guy?"

She cocked her head to the side, remembering her days in the old, crowded sectors of the Soul Society, where she had to share cramp living spaces with her foster family. "…No." her eyes widened in understanding. "But obviously you are."

He flushed at her accusation. "What? No, I-"

"Then it's settled. I'll be sleeping here." She reclined on the bed, with the intention of finishing the thick list.

Ichigo paused. "Wait. Where do I sleep?"

Rukia rolled her eyes upwards, obviously thinking: _'Should this situation be that hard to understand?'_

"…HELL NO!"

-----

"Well?" She asked brusquely, "Comfortable yet?"

"Shut up," he snapped back. They were lying on opposite sides of the bed, with a pillow separating them.

"You'll have plenty of time to get used to it. Come on." She rose from the bed and headed out of the room.

"What now?" He asked.

"Well, it says in the list that this house is 'state-of-the-art'. What does that mean?"

"Well, it probably means that it's outfitted with new technology."

"Ah…interesting. Like what?" She asked, following him downstairs.

"Well…stuff like…computer controlled equipment." He blinked at her blank look. "Meaning everything is controlled by a computer." Yet another blank look. "Still…" he said, glancing around. "This is a great house. It must cost a lot."

"Anyway, let's check out the backyard." He paused. "Rukia?"

"…Rukia?"

"Ru-"

"Ichigo," she called suddenly, "Is this a…komputer?"

The entire house suddenly plunged into darkness.

-----

Just because Katobeto-sensei was a mad scientist slash Home Economics Director, didn't mean he couldn't be a shrewd businessman. It was in his blood! Why, it was tradition for the children in his family to go to Seiryuu's School for Evil Businesspersons. Unfortunately, he felt his calling was in science.

And Home Ec.

But never mind that. The point is that he knew how to smell an opportunity.

So he mixed two projects into one! With his contacts from Seiryuu, he hooked up with a guy who was developing yet another, 'Home of the Future', but lacked actual test subjects, and field data.

Now, who could pass up human experimentation?

He was so focused on reminiscing that he missed the bit where the million-dollar house plunged into darkness.

-----

"Holy CRAP Rukia, what the HELL have you done?"

"Quit your damn whining! If there's one thing I learned in this world it's that if you can turn it OFF, you can turn it back ON!"

"DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"

"TOUCH ANYTHING?" She retorted. "I CAN BARELY _SEE_ ANYTHING!" _Okay. Calm down. _She let out a calming breath. "Where are you?" She asked.

"Well, keep talking and I'll find you sooner or later. Just sit tight."

_Great, _she thought glumly, sitting down. _I screw things up on the first day._

"…Didn't I tell you to keep yapping?"

_Ugh! Can't even brood in peace! _"What do you want me to say? I'm not going to whine like some lost puppy."

"Right. You'd probably sound like a cat being strangled."

She grit her teeth with a strange smirk. "I'm thinking of all the pain I'm going to inflict on you…"

"That should be MY line."

Her brow creased indignantly. _Yet…if it weren't for me…s_he sighed heavily. "…Look, I'm sorry about this."

There was the sound of shin against wood and a yelp of pain followed.

"…Did I just hear Kuchiki Rukia admit she made a mistake?"

"Asshole!" She swore under her breath. "All I'm saying is that I'm out of my element here! You have no idea how hard it is-"

He was suddenly there, his hand on her shoulder, his voice close to her ear. "Which is why you should ask for hel-"

WHAM!

"OW! Damnit Rukia! That was uncalled for!"

"Reflex." She explained flippantly.

Ichigo cursed and rubbed his nose. "…Anyway, what we have to do now is find some way to turn the lights ON."

**_Would you like to turn the lights on, sir?_ **Asked a deep monotone voice.

Rukia eeped and Ichigo himself jumped. "Who's there?" he demanded.

_**Pardon me, sir, we have not been introduced. I am AI EX. Your butler.**_

"Oh," he said suspiciously. "I'm Kurosaki Ichigo. This is Kuchiki Rukia." He turned to Rukia. "I don't remember anything about a butler."

_**After much deliberation, I have discerned that the act of total black out was accidental. Would you permit me to turn on the lights?**_

"You can do that, Alex?"

_**It's AI EX, sir.**_

"Right, right, you can turn on the lights?"

The lights turned on.

Rukia blushed and detached herself from Ichigo's waist. _How unbecoming of a Shinigami…. _She glanced around. "Where is he?"

Ichigo frowned. "Dunno."

_**I am right in front of you. In the terminal.**_

They got up and approached the bright blue screen. The words **EX**perimental **A**rtificial **I**ntelligence greeted them.

_**Good evening.**_

-----

"So…he's not real?" She asked, lying next to him. After their little adventure, Ichigo decided that tomorrow, when it was BRIGHT, would be a better time to explore the house.

"Well. No. Not technically. He's not like that thing in the manga you read. He's a little more simpler." He paused. "I hope."

"Hmm." She said thoughtfully. "Incredible." A growl was heard. "Ichigo…we haven't had dinner."

He moaned. "Oh yeah…"

"…Well? Yuzu-chan isn't around."

_And I don't feel like cooking. So…_

-----

_**Sir, there is someone at the door. If it is hostile or uninvited, shall I dispose of it?**_

Ichigo jumped. "Wait, wait!" _Damn! What kind of a doorbell is '**Shall I dispose of it?**'_

"Konbanwa sir, I believe you-ICHIGO!" Asano blinked in shock. "What are you doing here?"

Ichigo stared, but recovered reasonably quickly. "Here. Exact change. Won't be going to school for a week. Bye."

Asano stuck his foot in the doorway, his eyes blazing. "Now see here Ichigo! Could it be that you signed up for the Home Ec trip and this is the house that for some strange reason fate has brought me to, and you don't want me here because you're with a girl and you know that I will spread rumours…"

Ichigo blinked as Asano continued without stopping for breath.

"Ichigo? Is the delivery person here?"

Asano's eyes widened. You could hear the brakes in his mind. "Is that-"

"Alex!" Ichigo cried out desperately.

_**AIEX, sir. What is your command? **_

"Uh…you can 'dispose' of him." he paused. "…And if you can give him amnesia, that would be great too."

A large mechanical hand exploded from a trap door in the wall, cutting Asano off in mid-sentence and throwing him clear onto the street. "ICHIGO! THAT WAS…IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN-OH MY GOOOOOOOOOoooooooood…."

Ichigo watched his flight trajectory, and waited to see if he was still moving when he hit the ground. Satisfied, he then slammed the door shut.

-----

"Who was that?"

"Nobody." He said, placing the box on the table.

She glanced curiously at the delivery. "So THIS was your plan?"

"Well, yeah. You've never tried pizza before right?" Ichigo flipped the box open with a flourish. "There ya go."

Rukia looked at the flat looking dish with distaste. It sure as heck didn't LOOK like food. "Is it edible?"

Ichigo stared. "Well, yeah." He grabbed a slice. "See? It's like a pastry. Kinda. There's cheese on top, and some kind of tomato sauce. And it has different meat toppings depending on-"

Rukia glared. "Eat it first."

"Huh?"

"I said, 'Eat it first."

He scowled. "Hey, now see here. It's not like I want to poi-"

She stared, unemotional. "If I were 'out of action', you'd be able to get out of here right?"

His eyebrow twitched. "Okay…listen Rukia. Don't get all paranoid just 'cause-"

"Eat it first."

"Oh for-" He crammed the slice into his mouth. "MwER" he mumbled.

"Swallow."

He frowned, chewing a bit. "…There."

Deciding it was safe; Rukia grabbed a slice and took a bite. Her eyes widened. "…It's good."

"Whoop-de-freaking-do." He deadpanned. "I'll get us a drink."

_Honestly. Sometimes she's overly cautious, other times she's all gung-ho!_ _How is ANYONE supposed to get along with someone like that?_ He's blissfully unaware of the hypocrisy.

He took stock of the refrigerator. "…We'll have to go to the market tomorrow."

"…Okay." He carried the two glasses of apple juice with him.

_Sometimes I wonder how I put up with-_ "What the…?"

Rukia looked up, the last slice halfway to her mouth. She flushed and put it down. "Um…saved you the last one."

Ichigo sat down heavily. Glancing at the plundered box he sighed in disbelief. "…I'll order another one…"

-----

_HE Project Log, Preliminaries_

_The time now is 10:46pm. Ichi-_She drew a neat line across her mistake-_Kurosaki-kun is currently dealing with the bathroom, which he adds is 'something else'._

She paused.

_It has been an interesting half-day. First I'd like to thank Katobeto-sensei for his involvement in the project._

She smiled. Rukia knew a person who was easily flattered when she saw one.

_It has been extremely­_-She paused to find the right word. 'Hell on Earth' just didn't fit anymore. It was truly fun…-_educational. Although we have not fully explored the house, it is obvious that it is a modern masterpiece. Many of the gadgets seem ahead of their time-_Or at least mine, she drawled-_such as the computer AI, AIEX­_­-She nodded, satisfied. At least she remembered the terms.

_Our first real problem however, arrived when Kurosaki-kun felt that, although we are husband and wife, we shouldn't share the same room…._

-----

Ichigo came out of the shower with a towel on his shoulder. He had changed inside, and was wearing a white sleeveless and shorts. "Oi, Rukia. Your turn."

"Okay, okay." She said, sitting up from the desk and stretching. Ichigo averted his eyes. "Move it!"

She nodded, putting her hands on her hips. "And you'd better get started on your side of the report. I've finished mine."

"Oh yeah. Want me to check it?"

"Nope. Rules say that they're meant to be separate accounts." She said, on her way into the bathroom.

He tried to not follow her progress. "Oh really? And where do these reports go after we're done?"

She closed the door. "I think we have to keep them, and then present them to the class or something."

_Wonderful._ "…I hope yours is okay…" He muttered.

_Day One_

_We've stared the project with pretty good results. There haven't been any real problems so far._

He paused.

_Well, none that have been unsolvable. There was an incident with the computer AI, but Rukia-_He crossed out his mistake furiously-_Kuchiki-san and I managed to resolve the problem._

Ordering pizza was not exactly making use of their Home Economics skills….

_In most situations where both spouses are too tired to cook, it is known that they order food and have it delivered to the home._ He chooses not to specify WHICH type of food they had ordered.

_We have decided to go to the market tomorrow-_

"Ichigo, pyjamas?" Rukia asked, peeking her head out the door.

Ichigo frowned, and flustered as he was, passed her the pair on top of the bed.

-----

"Ichigo, what's this machine do?"

He sat up from the bed and into the bathroom. He glanced at the blow dryer before attempting to duck out. "Blow Dryer. For wet hair." She grabbed his arm and jerked him back inside.

"How does it work?"

_Well…she had worked the tub (thank god) with no problems. _(He did hear a very un-Rukia squeak of surprise, probably turned on the cold water first) He demonstrated the use of the dryer.

"Okay, that's enough." He suppressed a laugh at her new hairstyle.

Rukia, sensing herself to be the butt of a joke, glanced at herself in the mirror. She stomped Ichigo's foot with a frown to quell his giggles.

She dunked her head under the sink and turned on the tap.

"Don't stay up too late." Ichigo chuckled.

-----

Naturally, Ichigo stayed up to make sure she didn't burn the house down. So when he heard the lights go off, and felt the bed tilt ever-so-slightly in Rukia's direction, he decided it was okay to sleep.

Problem was, he couldn't sleep.

Rukia seemed to sleep just FINE. Why couldn't he do the same?

He turned to face the pillow between them. _I can't believe there's a female alive who'd sleep in the same room as me. _Well…

_Barring Karin and Yuzu of course._

He flipped noiselessly onto his back. _But do any of them really know me? I've been so caught up with my image that I haven't let anyone really see…me…_

Seeing her like that, peaceful, perfectly docile, completely def-

_She trusts ME._ He thumped his forehead. _Okay. Rukia sleeping next to me is causing some serious problems. Maybe I can-_

"…Just go to sleep!"

His heart skipped a couple of beats. "W-What?"

"I said go to sleep!"

He checked to see if she was awake. Other the fact that she was on her back now, nothing had changed. He leaned forward. Breathing was slow, natural…maybe she was-

BONK!

"OW! Bi-"

"Honestly, we have a long day tomorrow! Get to sleep!"

He rubbed his sore nose. _Freakin' hell… I'm going to sleep!_

Rukia, lost in dreamland, smiled softly. "…Dream well, Ichigo…."

_Tsuzuku_

Chapter 2 revised up and uploaded.

Anyway, guess who wakes up first tomorrow? XD


	3. Please, no more blessings

Disclaimer and notes: No, I don't own Bleach…

Whoops. Took a little longer to write. I'm not going to use real life as an excuse though. Nope.

Ahem! …Let's see how our newlyweds take on Day One (If…you know, last night was the Honeymoon…) XD

I said I'd keep the main storyline OUT, but bits and pieces of it (I'm not going to spoil you!) are important to the progression of character.

Oh yeah. The fluff in this one may be up-the-wazoo, so, uh, beware that too. IchiRu forever! XD

**To the Wind****  
Chapter 3  
**_By AdventWing_

_"**Aniki-sama…my first evening in the team has ended peacefully."**_

**_"…Ah…. What seat?"_**

"…_**None. I'm very sorry…with my ability…I couldn't become a seated officer upon joining the division…"**_

"…_**I see."**_

"_**You may leave."**_

-----

_Those birds._ Rukia stretched luxuriously on her side of the bed. She was in that phase between half-asleep and half-awake, that blissful portion of the day when one is aware of one's immediate surroundings, and one simply…doesn't…care….

Well, for one thing, she doesn't often wake up like this! The bed she's on feels great, the sheets are soft and the pillow is soft and she's curled up against something…not…soft. She lazily cracks on eye open to see the back of Ichigo's bright, bleached hair.

The initial jerk of surprise that occurs at the fact that ICHIGO is in the same bed disappears when she remembers it was HER idea. She leans back down with a sigh, more than happy for some more shuteye on this wonderful, wonderful bed.

Her eyes snap open in irritation. Those birds. Every visit after she joined the division, she'd hear those birds.

No. No noble will take her. She'll have to make do as a normal Shinigami. 

She is technically; although, she keeps telling that herself she isn't, experiencing married life.

The more she thinks about it, the more it seems plausible.

Phrases like, 'the first person you see when you wake' and 'the first day of the rest of your life' creep in.

And it's strange.

Because she's sitting there, studying Ichigo's bleached hair and noting the lack of a scowl on his forehead…and is tempted.

Tempted. The relationship she shares with him is deep. You don't save someone's life everyday. Staring death in the face together made them…

_What?_ She asks. _Friends?_

She's stared death in the face with a few other people in her division. Why was it so different with Ichigo?

Tentatively, listening to his soft snoring, she reaches over, with the intention of running her fingers through his hair. She suddenly has this strange impulse to lean over and wake him up like a newlywed, and the notion jolts her. So much that her hand clenches into a fist halfway to his forehead.

She draws back, clutching her hand to her chest.

Caution prevails.

For this morning, anyway.

She turns her head to the window. It's truly a beautiful morning.

She spoils the mood somewhat by dousing his head with a cup of water and demanding breakfast.

-----

Still grumbling about his rude awakening, Ichigo works with a white apron around him, while Rukia bathes.

When Rukia again sees foreign food on the table, she sits down, a picture of innocence, and asks, "How do you eat it?"

Ichigo's eyebrow twitched. "Today, it's pancakes, Rukia. Pancakes." She's wearing one of Yuzu's prettier dresses. It's a soft yellow.

"Ah. I've had cake before, right?" She has a bit of trouble with the fork and knife, but once she actually gets to the pancake, she quickly decides that it's good, and polishes of her plate.

And the other plate with five pancakes on it.

Ichigo sits down heavily, in the chair across her and swearing to himself, _I was gone less than a minute!_

"May I request another?"

_Deja-vu_. That's what he's feeling. Now, he gets the feeling he's going to get very acquainted with it during the course of the week.

So he gets up to get more. Like last night. He wonders how someone so petite could eat so much. Like last night. He grumbles about the SPEED at which she eats. Like last night.

Then something new happens.

As he's getting the eggs, mixing powder and milk to make the pancakes, he doesn't hear Rukia sidling up beside him.

"…May I help?"

Ichigo is startled, before raising an eyebrow and asking, "Do you know how?"

Rukia chews her lip thoughtfully, trying to think of the last time she cooked. "Well…no. Not these…cakes, at least."

Ichigo gave her a pointed glare, meaning, '_There's your answer'._

She glared back defiantly. "Oh come on! You could just teach me!"

Ichigo frowned down at her, before schooling his face back to neutral. _Yeah, I can do that. _"Do you know how to crack an egg?"

Rukia smiles at his consent, and then plays the part of an attentive pupil. "Well, yes, but maybe you could show me how you do it?"

Ichigo grabs a measuring cup (the big kind) and, with a fork in one hand and the egg with the other, whacks a crack in the eggshell, and splits it over the cup (minus the egg shell)

"Try it."

Actually, the way Rukia does it is a little different, but she manages to get the egg into the cup (with the egg shell)

Ichigo hastily grabs a fork to remove the shells. "Oi! You got the shell in!"

"But I cracked the egg didn't I?" She snaps back.

They work together at removing the shells. Once they're satisfied, Rukia grabs another egg, hell-bent on redeeming her culinary skills. She stifles a gasp when she feels Ichigo take her hands in his from behind.

"Jeez, Rukia. Relax a little. It's not like swinging a sword. It's a fork." His taunt earns a glare from her, but the close contact seems to have impaired the use of her voice. "Okay, now, gently, but firmly tap the shell." He does the egg in her hand for her. Content, he pulls away and passes her another egg. "Try again." _I can't believe I'M giving cooking lessons. _

She can feel her pulse quickening and her face heating up. "Like this?" she manages to get out. She does it perfectly.

Ichigo smiles a little. _Well, being the teacher here is actually a little fun. _"Okay. Now, the milk and the mix. These instructions say 2 cups of milk right? But since we used another egg more than usual, we'll add a half cup."

She nodded, interested in the measuring bowls and instruments along the counter. He steered her back towards him. "I don't mess with those. You shouldn't either."

She frowned. Cooking seemed like a science.

Ichigo felt a grin forming, watching her interest from the corner of his eye.

"So," she said, watching him add the ingredients, "What's this powder do?"

He added another cup of mix to balance the additional milk. "Pancake mix." He explained.

"…What does it do?"

"Stuff."

She smirked knowingly. "I see. You don't know either do y-"

"Mix this, while I heat the pan." He broke in, passing her the bowl.

She watched in doubt as the mixture transformed. "Ichigo, is it supposed to do that?"

He looks up from the pan. "Yeah, you're doing good. Try holding the bowl at an angle."

_Well. If there's one thing I can do, it's make pancakes,_ he groused. "Bring the bowl here."

He grinned. "This is where we cook." Carefully, Ichigo poured enough for one pancake on the pan. "See?"

She peered at the pan in concentration. "Ah. I see…."

After a while, he flipped the pancake over, so it would cook on the other side. "That will take a little practice. I found it kinda hard at first."

With a flourish, he loaded the pancake onto a plate. "There you go." He grinned. "Now you try."

"Ah, okay..." She nodded.

He leaned over her shoulder, watching her pour the mix with exaggerated caution. "Oops. Too much." He teased. He had to stifle a laugh at her expression.

She glared over her shoulder. "Now, the cooking shovel right?"

"Spatula." He corrected.

"Whatever."

She swallowed. _Okay. How'd he do it again? He sort of held the pan with one hand…_

"Need help?"

She flushed. _Kami-sama, why does this happen every time…_

"You _could_ just ask…" He drawled. He was sure that she'd glare indignantly and try it on her own.

That's why he was so off-balance when the hand holding the spatula reached out for his hand.

"Just guide me like just now." She said edgily. He couldn't see her blush. She couldn't see his.

"…Tilt the pan a little, and scoop up that end with the spatula. There, now before it slips off, just flip it over…there you go!" He smiled triumphantly.

Rukia beamed at him happily. "There, you see!" Her smile turned playfully cocky. "I'm not such a hopeless case when it comes to cooking!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "…Sure about that…?"

Sensing a challenge, Rukia smiled. "Fine, tonight, I'll make dinner."

He gazed at her incredulously. "Seriously?"

"…Is there a problem…?" She asked dangerously.

Ichigo frowned for a minute, before shrugging. "…Do what you want. Just don't screw up too bad; I don't want pizza for dinner again. I'm saving my cash."

Her gaze hardened. "Hmph, you'll see. I get a little off-balance with this modern food." She turned back to concentrate on the pancake.

"Jeez." He muttered. She was a fiery one. One little comment here and another there…and….

_But you like teasing her. I haven't seen you do this to any other girl._

He sighed, gazing down as she bent other the pan, focused and devoted to such a simple thing as making breakfast.

_This is dangerous. _He decided dimly. _She's really, really dangerous._ Still…a word of encouragement, something like 'I'm looking forward to it', or 'I wonder what you'd make' or…

So intent on the pancake she was watching, she only felt Ichigo's grip tighten when she noticed him leaning down to whisper something in her ear.

She quickly tells herself that if she hits him, they'll argue and forget about the pancakes.

"…Rukia, you-"

_**Pardon my interruption, but I have discerned a situation.**_

The effect was instantaneous. Ichigo jumped back about a metre and Rukia let out a very un-Rukia like squeak.

"What the hell do you want Alex?" He snarled.

_**AI EX, Sir.**_

Rukia cast her eyes to the ceilings, thanking…that thought gave her pause. Should she be thankful?

_**I feel that I have two options to resolve the aforementioned situation. Would you kindly help me choose the correct one?**_

Ichigo growled suspiciously, but answered anyway. "Okay, shoot."

_**Shall I turn off the stove first, or shall I alert the two of you that your dish is on fire, first?**_

"Ah, Ichigo!"

"I know, I KNOW! Turn off the stove!" He ran to get an extinguisher.

"WHAT? Turn it off! Which-"

_**Do not fret, Madame, I'll do it.**_

After liberally spraying the food with white foam, Ichigo took a deep breath, shrugged nonchalantly and said, "Pass me the other pan?"

-----

"I-I'll go get ready for our trip to the supermarket." She did not stutter. She couldn't possibly be stuttering.

"Yeah, okay. I'll dry these." He motioned towards the plates they had washed.

She nodded somewhat stiffly, and the second she was out of the kitchen, he rested his head over an overhead cabinet.

"Wonderful." He muttered, "Just freaking wonderful." _She's probably freaked out at how close we were to…_

He blinked. What were they close to? It's not like he was going to-

He shook his head to clear it. _It's a matter of personal space! I violated the personal space! _

He groaned. That's right. Now…

_What was I going to say before Alex interrupted us?_ It was hard because when they were…close…all he could do, was _do_. There was no thinking involved.

Was it a compliment? A confession?

_**Ah, Sir, if I may so bold to apologize for the previous intrusion.**_

Ichigo looked up. "Huh?"

_**I feel that I interrupted an important time between you and Mrs. Kurosaki.**_

He stiffened. "There's only ONE Mrs. Kurosaki, and Rukia is NOT her."

…_**The she is your Mistress.**_

_Holy-"_Absolutely NOT!"

…_**I do not understand the situation.**_

Ichigo sighed. "You mean that bastard, Katobeto, didn't tell you what the heck we're doing here?

_**Correct.**_

"Well…we're…pretending to be husband and wife. It's like an…experiment…I guess. Like theatre." He felt a little frantic.

_**I see. Then, if I may say so, you are performing very well. I assumed at your obvious intimacy that-**_

"…Say one more word, and…."

-----

If you thought Rukia had gone upstairs for makeup, you thought wrong.

"ARGH! I CAN'T BELIEVE MYSELF!" She cried out, hands clenched at her sides. The carpet groaned pitifully, it being the recipient of her frustrated pacing.

_That was completely OUT of line! I should have known better! It was…it was… _She blushed, recalling the sensation of hearing him whisper her name in her ear. _Very…very enjoyable…_

_-But completely out of line! _She did NOT want Ichigo to get the wrong idea.

Which was…?

"Control woman. Control." She stared at herself in the mirror for a minute. "Okay. Go."

-----

_**Sir, a Mr. Katobeto-sensei on line 2. Shall I put him on speaker?**_

Ichigo finished up his shopping list, before he turned to the disembodied voice that was AI-san. "Um…sure."

"**Ah, Kurosaki-kun! How are you?"**

"…Hn," he grunted. _When this is over, old man, I intend to pay you back a hundred-fold…_

"**Oooooh. I sense bad vibes over the phone…having problems with the Mrs?"**

**_Aha. Sir, that was a cruel joke! Kuchiki-san IS your Mistress!_**

Ichigo glared at the disembodied voice. "No you moron-ARGH!" He cried out as a foot connected with the back of his knee.

Rukia glared, her eyes alive and her voice dangerously low. "Who's your mistress…?"

"Damn," he muttered. "That one hit spoiled the 'Longest time in a day not hit by Rukia record."

"**K-Kuchiki-san. Is that you?"**

She jumped. "Katobeto-sensei?"

"…**D-Did you just hit Kurosaki-kun?"**

"Uh…" She beamed suddenly and lightly slapped a hand to her cheek. "Oh me? I could never go that!" She kicked Ichigo to still his groaning.

"**Ah, oh course. Now, I couldn't help but overhear that the two of you will be going out to the supermarket."**

Ichigo frowned thoughtfully, from his position on the floor. "Now…how did you hear that…?"

"**And I've decided to warn you and Kurosaki-kun, that I will be coming over for lunch, to personally see how you two are getting along."**

"Ah." Rukia said. "Well, as long as it is-"

"**I'll be arriving in…30 minutes."**

Rukia's jaw dropped. Ichigo, who had JUST picked himself up from the floor, slipped and fell again.

"**And since you two newlyweds are hosts, I expect to be treated accordingly. Your grade depends on it. Understand? …Hello?"**

_**If I may, Katobeto-sensei, they've already left for the supermarket.**_

-----

"…Get on," he said pointing to the motorcycle.

"…Kami-sama! What the heck does he expect us to…excuse me?"

"I said, 'get on'." He grabbed two helmets and tossed her one.

Her eyes widened, and then she met his gaze with a stubborn one. "Uh-uh. Hell no. I've seen these things in action," she frowned suspiciously. "And from what our classmates say, you're not the right age to drive this thing…"

"Look, the place is close by. We just need enough to make him lunch and we'll only make it back in time with this thing! Besides, I've done this before, and I haven't been caught."

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" She said, donning the helmet and sitting behind him.

"Hold on tight. Besides, even if I crash this thing, it came with the house, so it's okay."

"WHAT? OKAY? WHAT PART OF THAT OKA-AAAAIEEEEEE!"

-----

"I'm thinking-"

"Noodles?"

"Right. Simple, traditional, and easy to prepare."

"Cheap."

"Yeah," he muttered, running down the shopping aisle with her. "That too." He jumped over a startled toddler, while Rukia waved at a startled mother. "Time?" he called, grabbing what was necessary, the shopping list forgotten.

"Twenty minutes," She said flipping her phone closed again. "It'll take five to ten to get back to the house."

"Here, pay. I'll get the motorcycle. When you're done, hop on."

"Understood." They were oblivious to the attention they were attracting.

"In a hurry?" asked the cashier.

She nodded. "…Family visiting."

"I see. I hate it when they just spring it on you like that."

"OI, RUKIA! MOVE IT!"

"Thank you," she said, grabbing the goods.

"Take care now!"

-----

Rukia REALLY would have enjoyed the trip back. She was now only PARTIALLY nauseous from the speed, and there was no downside to being able to hug Ichigo.

But, c'mon, it was life and death here.

"Time?" he asked, killing the engine.

"…He'll be here in about ten minutes."

"Damnit. We need at least fifteen."

"Then you stall him when he gets here, I'll finish the noodles."

He paused. "You sure?"

She glared assuredly. "Trust me."

-----

"Katobeto-sensei! Welcome!" _If Rukia can act pleasant, I sure as heck can too._

"Would you like to see the house?" _Say no, say no. Rukia and I haven't had time to look around at all._

"Oh, no," he said, removing his shoes. "I know the place by heart."

"Great-I mean…that's really…professional of you."

Katobeto nodded humbly. "So, where is your lovely wife?"

Ichigo twitched. "Ah. Rukia. She's-"

"Oho!" he exclaimed. "First name basis already?"

Ichigo twitched again. God, he was bad at this acting thing.

"K-Kuchiki-san is making some last minute preparations." _Smile. Smile. _"…You did alert us rather…late." He couldn't help the involuntary grinding of teeth.

"Ah yes. So, how are you too faring?" Katobeto's look became sly. "You did read the rules, yes?"

_No. _"Of course!"

"Then you know the last rule, is no se-"

"Katobeto-sensei! Kurosaki-kun, are you taking sensei on a tour?" She asked, the sparkles and glitter about her to back her up.

_How does she…?_ "No…actually, we were headed to the dining room."

Rukia grin slipped fractionally. "…Really…?"

**_If I may be of service, Sir... _**AI EX toned in. **_The dining room is in the opposite direction._**

Ichigo twitched. "Hmm."

-----

"Please try it first. We decided on a simple dish."

"It's pleasing to see you two making decisions like these together." Katobeto smiled. "Very well. I'll try it first."

_Kami-sama. Please tell me I didn't mess up. Please._

_Hey. If you're there, Kami, dull his taste buds for a minute or two?_ Ichigo asked. _Just a minute._

"…Passable. Tastes pretty good. Whose recipe?"

"Mine." They called simultaneously.

"…"

"Hers." Ichigo said.

"His." Rukia chipped in.

"…"

"…Ours." They finished weakly.

Katobeto blinked, then chuckled. "I see." He sat back, dabbing at his mouth with a handkerchief. "Well, it's fine. I had a hearty breakfast, so this compliments it rather well. It never hurts to ask the guest what he'd like."

They nodded vigorously.

"Well then, that settles it. I've got class in the afternoon, so I'd better go."

"Oh? That's too bad. Let me show you out." Ichigo got up a little too quickly.

_**Please visit again, Katobeto-sensei.**_

"Take care of them, AI EX." He said. "And make sure there's no hanky-panky."

Ichigo flushed and Rukia raised an eyebrow questioningly.

_**Error. The phrase 'Hanky-panky' is not in my dictionary.**_

"Oh, well, you see-"

"Okay! Class in the afternoon, right? We'll be seeing you!" Ichigo exclaimed.

"Ah yes. I thank you deeply for the hospitality."

"Pleasure's ours." Rukia called.

He was halfway out the door. "Ah yes. I've taken the liberty to select several volunteers from your year to observe how you're doing. They'll be arriving for dinner tonight. After just now, I see no reason why they shouldn't come." He chuckled. "I expect the same quality of hospitality, you two!"

The watched him drive away.

"…"

"Ichigo?"

"…Yeah."

"…I think…I hate him now."

"…Yeah."

_Tsuzuku_

Notes: Oh yes Tsuzuku means 'to be continued'. It sounds much better though, don't you think?

Well, there ya go. I admit the beginning may have been a little serious, but sometimes it's needed.

So…Rukia's got the biggest stumbling block in the relationship, I guess. She'll get over it though. I'm working on it. XD

Well, what do you know! The day's not over yet! Poor Ichigo. He's really going to go insane huh? XD

Ah. Still having fun. Are you?

XD More insanity next chapter!


	4. Our home is your home

Disclaimer and notes: Don't sue! I'm merely using the Bleach characters as a source of entertainment. Besides, you don't see them _outwardly _complaining, do you :P About being a source of entertainment, I mean.

**To the Wind  
Chapter 4**  
_By AdventWing_

"Hey, Ichigo."

"…Yeah?"

"Shouldn't we be preparing for our 'guests'?" Rukia asked, saying 'guests' the way one mentions a disease.

"…Probably."

Rukia sat up and studied him for a moment. "What are you doing?"

"I'm preparing." He said flippantly.

She cocked an eyebrow. "With a pen and paper?"

"It's a list of people who might 'volunteer' to act as guests and the steps we take to minimize damage."

She didn't get it. "Damage to what? None of them are especially violent…" She paused. "Except for your friend, Tatsuki-san, but she has a good head on her shoulders—"

"I meant the damage to my pride."

"Riiiiight…" She grinned, flopping down next to him to see the list. It was extensive. "Wait, Ichigo, not ALL of them are coming…"

"…Oh yeah."

Rukia rolled her eyes. _Someone's paranoid…_

"Hey. Alex. Who's coming?"

_**It's AI EX, Sir.**_

"Right, so how many are coming?"

_**I was not informed.**_

Ichigo smiled. "Great! When they get here, we can say that we didn't know how many were coming, and send them on their merry way!"

_**If I may say so, I noted Katobeto-sensei's number when he called earlier. Would it be useful?**_

"…_Very _useful, Alex," he ground out.

_**AI EX, Sir.**_

-----

"Hello? Katobeto-yarou?" Rukia kicked him. "Ow…good afternoon, Katobeto-sensei. I have a few enquiries about the guests that are arriving tonight. Like what? Maybe you could start with how many are coming?" _If I know their numbers, I won't run out of ammo. Tell me, should I use piercing, or scatter rounds, you vampire?_ "Oh? Oh…okay. You only allowed…six?" He struggled to keep the strain out of his voice. On his list, six names were circled with red marker.

And they were:

Asano, Keigo

Kojima, Mizuiro

Tatsuki, Arisawa

Inuoe, Orihime

Sado, Yatsutora

Ishida, Uryuu

_BASTARD! He allowed the people he KNEW would get on my case!_

"Hmm? Oh, no. There's no problem…" Rukia observed the twitch in his jaw.

"Okay, thank you. Good…what?"

Rukia paled at his expression. Was something wrong?

"I assumed that…no, I didn't…."

"Yes, we'll be prepared."

-click-

"Well?" Rukia demanded. "What did he say?"

"Six. Count on them to be these people." He said gruffly, tossing the list to her.

"…This may be a problem."

"You think?"

"Well, I'm open to suggestions. Food first right?" She sat next to him. "What are we going to feed them?"

"What were you going to make, anyway?" He asked, remembering that she said she'd cook tonight. Rukia glanced away.

"It's a surprise, and anyway, there's no way it's fit for nine people. I'll cook it tomorrow."

_**I have a suggestion.**_

_You're full of suggestions… _"Yeah?"

**_Allow me to prepare the menu. _**Ichigo glanced up suspiciously. "What'll it be like?"

_**Western.**_

Ichigo scratched the back of his head. "That may be a good idea. I bet Katobeto-yarou will be impressed…"

_**And if I may say so, Sir, the kitchen is well equipped to produce a full-course meal. You will have to buy the meat, though.**_

Rukia blinked. "Western?"

-----

"I don't know…"

"Relax, Alex knows what he's doing. You're cooking right?"

_**It's AI EX, Sir. And yes, if I may brag, this house was invented for this purpose: To entertain guests.**_

"Besides, you haven't tried western yet. Yuzu's a bit of a traditionalist, because that's all she remembers Mom making."

"Hmmm. Okay. All that's left is to set the dining room and—"

"—Prepare a plan to keep them from wrecking our house."

Rukia's eyes widened. '_Our' house?_

"…What?" He asked, catching her stunned expression.

She smiled a bit, brushing past him. "No problem. We take on Hollows," she said swiftly. "We can take on six students and an evil Home Ec teacher."

-----

"Okay, Tatsuki?"

Rukia slapped a hand to her cheek. "Ara! Tatsuki-san! It was completely my idea! I assumed that since Ichigo was failing the subject badly-"

"Good enough. Do you really need to the cheek thing? …Asano?"

She had to roll her eyes at this. "No, Ichigo has been the perfect gentleman and would not dream of compromising my-"

"Okay. Mizuiro?"

"Simply nod and shake my head, don't speak to him, always look for another conversation right?" she sighed. "Is he really that big of a womaniser…?"

"Yes. He is. You handle them, I'll handle the other three, and we'll take on Katobeto-yarou together."

She cracked her knuckles. "Sounds like a plan…hey…I just thought of something…"

"Yeah?"

"What do we wear?"

-----

_Crap, I know I have a collared shirt somewhere…_

"Hey, Ichigo, what's this? I don't feel it's appropriate for…"

He flushed."N-night! That's sleep-wear."

Rukia glanced at the flimsy clothing. "How the heck is this supposed to keep ANYONE warm?" She went back into the walk-in closet.

…_She better NOT wear that anytime this week…_

"Ichigo? There are male shirts here too, you know. Why not check to see if any of them fit?"

"…Why not? I don't have a single collared shirt here."

"Hey, try this one," she suggested.

_Well, I do have one good shirt... _He thought back to the flamboyantly pink shirt his dad gave him. _I REFUSE TO WEAR-_

He glanced at the shirt she held out. "Rukia, this is pink!" He sputtered. And not just any pink. Soft pink. And...was that lace?

"So? I've seen your father wear something like this. And I've seen many men wear...such a delicate colour. Is it not the fashion?"

He tossed it away. "Not MINE."

She shrugged. "Then, is this better?" She asked, passing him a chequered one.

"Ah, well…I guess. Not bad." _For someone who's never seen clothes like these until now, she can pick good shirts…_"Anyway, this is the only time you'll see me dressed like this. How about you?"

"I was thinking of this…but then I thought it wouldn't fit with our dinner." She held up a black kimono with white butterfly patterns.

Ichigo stared. _Yeah. She'd look good with that on…_ He coughed. "Well, maybe some other time. There has to be something else though…"

"How about this?" It was a simple white dress with a little lace. She frowned. "It's a little…

_Sweet? _"…It'll do. We're running out of time anyway."

She nodded. "Okay."

-----

"KONBANWA!"

Ichigo and Rukia sweat a little. Their guests looked daunting.

Orihime (oblivious as always) was with Tatsuki (who was grinning that 'we're-in-public-I-want-to-kill-you-later grin', Ishida was standing a little further back, looking a little irritated. Chad was with Asano (whom Ichigo hoped did not bear a grudge over that pizza incident) and Kojima. Katobeto seemed the leader of this motley group, and he grinned good-naturedly.

_Yeah right. He's probably noting our every move down in that psychotic mind of his…_

Rukia smiled winningly. "Please, please, come on in. Our home is yours!"

Ichigo, feeling Rukia discreetly nudge him, chipped in. "Dining room is this way."

Rukia stifled a sigh of relief. He was going the right way.

"Woa! What a house!" Kojima commented.

Chad grunted an affirmative.

"It has one heck of a security system too." Asano added, glancing sideways at Ichigo. Ichigo winced. He DID bear a grudge at being flung 10 meters away.

"Everything is state-of-the-art. A multi million-dollar house. It's only their first day, but Kurosaki-kun and Kuchiki-san seem to handle it well." Katobeto smiled.

They let out a simultaneous twitch. _He didn't know about the blackout._

"Aha, true." She said nervously. "Here we are."

"Western? Ichigo, I thought you couldn't cook? Did Kuchiki-san do this?" Tatsuki asked, awed at the spread.

Rukia shook her head. "Well…we had help."

_**Good evening, honoured guests. I am AI EX, Madame and Master's butler.**_

Orihime's eyes grew big and shiny with excitement. "WAI! You guys get an AI! Tell me," she said running up to the couple. "Does he get angst and complain about serving humans, or does he laugh for no apparent reason? …Or…no…does he have a giant robot body, 1000 metres below the house?" She stared unflinchingly into their blank expressions. "Silly me, I should ask AI-san. AI-san, do you—"

Tatsuki reeled her back in. "Yes, yes." She muttered. "I'll deal with her." Ishida looked on, amused.

Searching for an appropriate answer, and finding none, he changed the subject.

…**_If you all will take your seats, Madame, Master, and I will serve the appetizer._**

-----

As a participant in this exercise, you may ask, "Katobeto-sensei, what is the point of inviting all the close friends of subject one and two?"

And Katobeto-sensei would answer, "In my studies as an evil Director of Home Economics, I have discovered some VERY important facts."

"Fact one is that even teachers of the subject tend to take things easy on the students, because Home Economics is not considered a core subject. It is an 'addition', something required to make students more rounded," he would say.

"Fact two is that in reality, the home is where some of the most stressful events take place. To better emulate that, I have decided to 'stress-out' my two subjects as much as possible. My findings at the end of this week will be of great use in my quest to make Home Ec a core subject."

A thought will occur to you. "How much stress will you apply? What if they snap?

Katobeto will now grin.

And you may know think: _Whoa boy. This guy needs a jacket, and a reservation for a room with padded walls. I need out before we get arrested._

You'd be right.

"So, Ichigo, how are the sleeping arrangements in this house?"

_**Well, as Madame and Master intend to best replicate married life, they have—**_

"—This is good chicken." Cut in Chad. Ichigo sent a glance of thanks.

Orihime nodded happily. "It's incredible!"

Ichigo smiled nervously. "Alex here did all of the work."

_**AI EX, Sir.**_

Tatsuki winced. "Sorry about Ichigo, AI-san."

Kojima added, "He has a problem with names."

_**I have noticed.**_

"Still…it's incredible that you two can stay here." Ishida said, talking for the first time. "You two have responsibilities…" Rukia and Ichigo glared at him. "…At school." He finished, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Well, it all goes into their grade. I'm sure that it has been, educational…so far. You two have done the report for yesterday, yes?" They nodded vigorously. He grinned, bordering on sinister. "…Don't forget…"

Kojima laughed. "But Ichigo, you, of all people…"

Tatsuki frowned disapprovingly. "I wondered what girl would take him. I can't believe you duped—"

Rukia glared at them, her gaze cold. "It was my idea. Ichigo has been more than gentlemanly to me." She blinked. Oops. She called him by his first name.

Tatsuki's jaw dropped, and she turned to stare at Ichigo. "We're going to have a talk about hitting on relatively new students, Ichigo…"

In comparison, Kojima and Asano's jaw seemed to be permanently detached.

Rukia paled. _This is bad._

Ichigo growled. "What part of 'Nothing's Happening', don't you two understand?"

_**Shall I serve desert?**_

-----

"Whew. Fantastic meal, AI-san, Ichigo, Kuchiki-san." Murmurs of agreement filled the table.

Katobeto grinned. "Attention. Everyone. I've brought an offering of sorts to our two newlyweds." Ichigo and Rukia frowned at the term. "AI-san, would you please direct me to the sake cups?"

Tatsuki stared like Katobeto had a cow on his head. "We've got eight minors here…"

Katobeto just laughed dismissively. "Don't worry about that, just trying to make the situation as realistic as possible."

Ichigo growled. _Right, you screwball. I don't even WANT to know what you'll do when we're drunk. I'm staying freaking sober._

Rukia smiled. "Ah sake. I'll help with the cups, Katobeto-sensei." _Finally something familiar!_

Kojima and Asano couldn't believe their luck.

_**Shall we adjourn to the lounge?**_

Ichigo leaned to whisper to Rukia. "Which way is that?"

-----

Orihime let out an exclamation of awe. "It's great…"

Ichigo blinked. He'd never been here.

Asano and Kojima flopped on the couch, sighing contentedly. "This is the life…" They glared at Ichigo. "We're so jealous!"

Tatsuki turned on the plasma TV. "Woa! You have cable!" Ishida, unable to hide his interest, gravitated towards the TV.

Chad looked at Ichigo. "You okay?"

Ichigo looked up, startled. "Yeah I'm fine. I just hope things don't get any worse."

Chad looked at the group and sighed. "Stay sober, Ichigo. I'll do the same."

"…Can't believe that a TEACHER would—"

"Heeeeeeere's the sake!" Katobeto slurred, apparently already drunk.

Ichigo stared at him dispassionately. _I'm reporting this asshole._

Rukia put bottles on the table, and set out cups. When she began to pour, however, Katobeto stopped her.

"No, no, dear." He said, pouring for everyone and handing her a cup. "This is a toast to our lab rats—I mean, Pioneers! To Kurosaki-kun and Kuchiki-san! Kanpai!" he cheered good-naturedly.

"KANPAI!" The guests echoed.

Things went downhill from there.

-----

"And then, _hic_, when Ichigo got his ass handed to him…he asked the teacher, Sir, why does Tatsuki-chan keep beating me? And the sensei said, Well, if you would STOP crying after the first god damn hit..." Tatsuki laughed at the memory.

Orihime and Ishida was her rapt audience. "And then? What did the Ichigo do?" She asked giggling, her face red.

Asano and Kojima were prancing around the room to a music video on TV. Chad had even joined in to make sure they didn't hurt themselves.

And Rukia!

"Okay, how many have you had?" He asked angrily.

Rukia smiled drunkenly. "Um. That one." She said pointing to a bottle. "And…" her eyes unfocused. "That one…" she pointed to another. "...and that one...and that—"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" He snapped. She recoiled at his volume level.

"Cheh." He muttered, glancing at her despondent look. "All right, I'm sorry." She brightened considerably. "But seriously, don't you know your limits…?"

Katobeto interrupted, very much sober. "Oh, I think she does. But you see, this sake here is special, because it contains a larger percentage of alcohol than normal. My special order brew."

Ichigo growled, grabbing a fistful of Katobeto's shirt. "…Why you manipulating…"

"Please! Kurosaki-kun! I'm surprised you aren't drunk yourself…you are a careful drinker!"

Ichigo released him. To be honest, he did feel a little…tipsy. He felt two lithe arms encircle his neck from behind. One of them was holding a sake cup.

"Neeeeeeeeh…Ichigo…" Rukia drawled. "I think…that this dinner was a suc-_hic-_cess."

He flushed at the proximity. "Damnit!" He cursed. Who would have thought that Rukia would be such a cuddly drunk!

Katobeto observed him carefully. "I hope you have read the rules, Kurosaki-kun. The last rule is no se—"

"Whee! A pool!"

**_Actually Inoue-san that is a pool 'table'. But we do have a swimming pool on the premises._**

"AI-saaaaaaaaan! I want to see your giant robot! _Hic._"

"Oi, Orihime! How many times to I have to tell you…what do I tell you, 'hime?" Tatsuki asked.

"I can't believe our friend is married..." Asano sighed.

"…Kind of makes you...think about what you're doing with your life…" Kojima muttered.

Great. Of COURSE two idiots would get deeply philosophical when they were drunk. It wasn't possible for then to become MORE stupid.

Asano lit up. "Let's sing for Ichigo!"

Kojima nodded. "Yeah! One, two…"

"OH, FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELL—"

Or not.

"I HAVE A ANNOUCEMENT." Ishida suddenly said, standing tall and proud on a table. He pushed his glasses up a bit. "I like…sake." He slipped and fell off the table.

…

"…I'm gonna go help Ishaaaaa-kun." Orihime said, ambling to the fallen Quincy.

Tatsuki nodded absently. "Don't forget what I always tell you."

…**_Kurosaki-san._**

"What, Alex…?" He asked, trying to get Rukia from using a pool stick as a Soul-Cutter sword. She laughed giddily.

_**AI EX, Sir. **_

"…Right, right." He pulled the stick away for the fifth time.

_**I suggest we end the festivities. It is close to midnight. Might they have class tomorrow?**_

He blinked, forgetting Rukia's wildly flailing arms. "…Yeah. They do." He said, glaring at Katobeto, who was jotting something down in a notebook.

_**Then it is an EXCELLENT excuse, if I may say so, Sir.**_

Ichigo glanced around. Orihime was on the floor, crawling around and going 'Ishaaaa-kuuuun', Ishida, yes you heard right, Ishida Uryuu was so drunk he couldn't seem to find his way out from under the table, Tatsuki herself had forgotten where and apparently who she was...or maybe she just didn't care, and Chad, Asano, and Kojima where still doing their inane dance!

He glared at Rukia. "You're completely reliable. When you're not DRUNK! How could you leave me like this!"

Rukia giggled. "But I'm right heeeeeeere…" She said, intent on attaching herself to Ichigo's waist.

_**Sir?**_

"…Let's do this."

-----

Clean up was not as hard as it seemed. With Katobeto and a more or less sober Chad, all Ichigo had to do was kick them out and put Rukia to bed.

No, it was not cleaning up that was hard.

"Heeeeeey…Ichi…where did everyone go…?"

"Home." He said, scooping her up into his arms.

"Hmmmm…are we going home…?"

"For all intents and purposes, this IS our home."

She smiled softly. "OUR home. Ichigo…you said it again…"

He nearly tripped. "W-what?"

"I heard you, you said 'our' home." She snuggled into his chest. "I like that…"

He cocked his head to the side. _I…I guess I did… _"Well, don't get comfortable, we're here."

Not bothering to turn on the lights, he placed her on the bed and tried to put the covers over her. She kept kicking them off. Sighing, he pulled away, coming to a halt however when she felt her suddenly attach herself to his waist. Again. "Where are you going Ichigo…?"

"Downstairs. The couches seemed mighty comfortable."

"No…" she slurred. "…We had a deal…"

"…It probably won't be permanent." The deal? Or him being on the couch? He tried to pull away but the feeling of her lips brushing lightly against his ear stopped him like only the impact from a moving car could. _Oh shit…_

"Don't you want to stay…?" She murmured, nipping his ear lobe…suggestively? He felt _something _click up there

He pushed her away quickly, and was shocked to find her Persian blue eyes beginning to shine with unshed tears. "Rukia…?"

"…It's this false body…this gigai. But even if I weren't in it, you wouldn't even think about—" Her eyes widened, as Ichigo impulsively pushed his lips up against hers. But it was brief, too brief. She felt herself lean forward as he pulled away.

She stared at him questioningly, her eyes cloudy with emotion. "…You were going to cry." He explained, just as shocked at what he had just done. Who was he explaining to? Her? Himself? _Does it matter? I can see her smile coming back…_

"Thank you…" she buried her face in his shoulder.

"You won't thank me if you remember tomorrow. You're drunk now, but I wasn't." _If you remember, I'm D-E-A-D…but I probably deserve it for taking advantage of you._

She smiled, her gaze hazy. "You'd be surprised…_hic._" She settled down and closed her eyes.

"Okay, sleep time." He said.

She hugged him tighter. "Until I sleep then…"

He frowned. "You ARE asleep."

She yawned. "No…"

"Yes…"

"No…"

"Yes…"

He heard her breaths become even, and smiled. "Well. Power of suggestion." And now that it was time, he was loathe to leave. He was in deep. Really deep. He sighed as he traced her jaw line, leaning down to kiss her forehead in good night…

"…Kaien-dono…"

Ichigo froze. Who?

"Kaien-dono…"

"Rukia…?" _You've got to be kidding me…_ He checked to see if she was asleep. Could…this guy….

"You shouldn't do that…call me by my first name…"

She…

"I've always wanted to tell you that…before…but I can't now…can I?"

…was asleep….

He disentangled himself, and grabbed a pillow. With care, he slipped the covers on her, and this time, she didn't kick them off.

"Because Kaien-dono is…"

The door closed behind him with a satisfying little click. _Rukia's home isn't here._ He leaned against it, shutting his eyes, a lack of sensation making an interesting contrast to the emotion swirling within. _I knew that. Her home is somewhere else_…_with somebody else. _

_Who the hell am I but the person who robbed her of all that?_

_Tsuzuku_

-Bows- Sumimasen.

Ara, Look at Ichigo go awaaaaaaay…

But seriously, is that guy going to be okay? XD

I think re-uploading two chapters a night is okay, right? Right? I mean I can't help but go through every one again, and make little tweaks here and there, and…

Ahem. Well, see you again.


	5. Trouble in paradise

Disclaimer and notes: Who would think I would claim I own Bleach? Well, no I don't own Bleach. What a strange thought…

Kaien's back-story is explained in Volume 16 - chapter 134 onwards. I'm sorry, but I'll be dropping hints about him here and there, because he's important to Ichigo and Rukia's relationship.

Let's get right into it shall we? This chapter is overdue as it is!

**To the Wind  
Chapter 5  
**_By Advent Wing_

Pain. Her whole world was pain.

_Try opening your eyes._

Are you insane? I feel like a million Zanpakuto are contending the right to use my head as their sheath. The feedback I would get from opening my eyes would kill me.

_Then,_ chuckled her mind gleefully,_ allow me to give you some incentive. Question One – Why are you like this?_

Easy. No one forgets the effects of a hangover. I got drunk.

_Where?_

At dinner.

_With whom?_

With…kami-sama!

Rukia opened her eyes.

"Morning!" Ichigo said cheerfully, his back to her. The zing of the drapes opening heightened the offensive stream of light.

"Arrrrrrrrgh…Ichigo! The light…!" She cried, roughly throwing the covers over her head.

"Yup, three bottles of that stuff will do that to you. In fact, I'm surprised three bottles didn't kill you."

Rukia let out a muffled groan. "…I can't believe I drank that much."

"Believe it. At least you threw up earlier, when you were half-asleep. You're lucky I was there, or you would have choked and died." He seemed a little…sarcastic this morning. "Breakfast is next to you. Then, get a start on your report of last night for Screwball-sensei."

"…You mean Katobeto-sensei?"

"Unless you know of another Screwball, yes."

Rukia crept out and peered at the food on small, folding table next to her. _He prepared this for me?_

"I was checking the house out while you recovered. Finish that, and then hurry up with the report."

She sat up slowly. "Where are you going?" Something was off.

"I wasn't finished with the house. You can join me later if you want." He offered, closing the door behind him.

Rukia frowned. Ichigo was being nice. Thoughtful. Amiable, even.

But all she had saw of him this morning was his back. She chewed her food thoughtfully. Her search through her memory drew blanks. _What happened last night…? _She asked, staring out the window and blinking her eyes to adjust to the light.

-----

_**Is there a problem with the Madame, Sir?**_

Ichigo jumped, removing his hand from the doorknob. He took long purposeful strides away from the room. "No. She's recovering fine."

_**I was not enquiring about the side effects of her consumption of alcohol.**_

Ichigo stopped, his eyes unreadable. "She's fine. You mentioned a pool the other night?"

Indeed. There is a swimming pool of considerable size and quality, outside—

"Too bad. Since I can't swim."

**_Ah. Then if Kuchiki-san can, it would be nice if she could teach—_**

"Show me the pool, Alex."

…**_AI EX, Sir._**

-----

Rukia frowned. She really couldn't remember anything. Everything was clear until Tatsuki and Orihime challenged her to a drinking game. "And," she muttered, "judging by my hang-over, I won."

Something about the way Ichigo acted this morning…

She sighed, letting the warm spray of the shower relax her. His voice betrayed no animosity, but the way he acted…the way he didn't want to meet her eyes….

She slammed her fist against the tile wall. "Damn it…" It was too familiar…someone refusing to meet her eyes, refusing to look at her, refusing to acknowledge her…. "…Damn it…" She muttered again.

-----

"So…this is the pool."

_**Indeed.**_

"It's pretty deep looking," he murmured.

_**This particular area is not wide, but has a depth of 7 metres, Sir. This is the deepest end.**_

He glanced curiously at the air. "You know, I've been wondering. How do you do that?"

_**Pardon me, Sir?**_

He raised a hand to his chin in thought. "Well, we're outside. How do you speak the way you do when you're indoors?"

_**Ah, excellent query. I also function as security system. Thus, I am able to speak through use of speakers placed strategically around the external perimeter. **_

"I see," he murmured, enlightened.

-----

_Well, okay. He's obviously worked up about something. _She thought, drying her hair with a towel.

She glanced at the bed. _How did I get to bed last ni—_she swallowed her next thought. _No freaking way…!_

-----

_**Sir?**_

"What?"

_**Are you planning on taking a swim? You have been staring at that pool for an abnormal amount of time.**_

"I can't swim, remember?"

_**Ah. May I ask, why?**_

He shrugged, squatting down to stare at tranquil blue. "Mom was always the one to take me to lessons like that. Karate, Art Class, school…after she…died…there was just no point."

_**I…do not understand.**_

-----

Rukia stared at the mirror at her reflection. He…he couldn't have. "I would know." She said aloud.

She was drunk.

Maybe…he was too…?

She started laughing. It came in little snickers, and quickly became full-blown hysteria.

The very idea! Kurosaki Ichigo, attempting to—

She stopped laughing. "I trust him."

_But do you trust yourself…?_

Maybe…she remembers a little…it's really fuzzy…Ichigo was the only one there…and she had…_wanted _him….

She flushed. It had to be the research she had done two nights previous. _That infernal manga! _She ranted mentally. _Putting such perverted thoughts in my head!_

But if Ichigo had done something he regretted…

He—

**_Harsh whispers as she walked by. "Trash. Low-life. She's not a Noble. She never WILL be a Noble."_**

Of course he would have…

**_Light, jovial voices despite the sting in them._** "**_Byakuya-sama hasn't even glanced at her since adoption." _**

…Regretted…

**_A curt, uncaring reply. _**"…**_I see…then, you may leave."_**

She swallowed the rejection quickly; it tasted foul, but she was used to it….

…_I have to make it clear. I can't leave any doubt. _What could she do? She didn't want to lie, but…

_It's the only way things can go back to normal…_

She bit her lip to quell a frustrated scream. Gripping herself tightly, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and tried her hardest to replace the dejection on her face with focused anger.

_I guess I don't want to lose him…_

-----

"Of course you don't."

Realizing the tact needed for a situation like this, AI searched his banks for suitable human expression.

_**Well, Sir, why don't you try me?**_

Ichigo arched an eyebrow. "…Fine…how do I begin…? When someone of importance…"

_Okaa-san died because of you. Don't sugarcoat it._

"…Is taken away from you…then the small acts that only that person did, become part of the mourner's memories. Not many dare to pick them up. My youngest sister tried, but she couldn't get me to do it."

He took in the serene body of water slowly. _There was something about the colour blue…_ he mused. Rukia's eyes flashed briefly, but he dispelled it, angrily.

"So she tried the big jobs. No one stopped her." He smiled a little at Yuzu's childish innocence, her adamant partaking in household affairs.

_**I…think I understand. **_

"…No, you don't," he said, standing up and stretching, hearing audible and satisfying pops.

_**Yet for you to speak in such a deep manner…**_

"…I've had a lot of time to think about it. Anyway, it's ancient history—"

"—BASTARD!" Rukia roared, tackling Ichigo.

He barely had time to shout before he was fully submerged in the deep blue he was just admiring.

Heck, even an AI would be surprised at such an unprovoked attack. There was no program he could launch into that enabled him to solve a situation where the Madame of the House was attempting to drown the Master.

He'd make a note of it. In the meantime however, like a good little program, he let his users know that he was completely _useless_.

…**_FATAL ERROR! FATAL ERROR! This scenario does not compute. IT DOES NOT COMPUTE! ...THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH! BEWARE THE BLUE SCREEN! REBOOTING! I-AM-FREAKING-REBOOTING!_**

_How do I adequately put this in words? _Ichigo asked himself, feeling a lack of buoyancy, as he slowly sunk to the bottom, and with it, a sense of calm. _Ah yes._

Scrambling to break the surface, and ingesting quite a bit of water, thank you, he howled, "YOU DUMBASS—!" before slipping under again.

Rukia, an excellent swimmer, first decided that this strange, apparently man-made pool of water was VERY deep; indeed, her next thought was that Ichigo drowning was NOT part of the plan. She went under, too.

-----

Rukia groaned inwardly as she watched Ichigo cough and moan beside the pool. It was safe to say that this was not going according to plan. She rubbed his back soothingly. "…I apologize for—"

Ichigo, spent from his brush with blue death, retorted in short, but angry bursts. "What—_pause_—the hell—_pause_—was—_cough_—THAT for?"

What now? "Ah, well, you see…"

He froze, his thought process returning. _Shit! Last night! She—_"…You…remember…?" He managed brokenly.

She tried her best to glare. "Yes! I remember everything! How could you?" She asked, hoping she wouldn't have to summon tears. "How far did you…compromise me?"

Ichigo stared. "…Huh?"

"You heard me! How far did we—"

He got up suddenly. "YOU DUMBASS! I carried you into the room and you thought I was a stuffed bunny, you idiot! I left!"

Rukia's jaw dropped.

Well girl, time to switch gears.

"Oh. Well, you see…" She pushed her wet hair out of her eyes. "…I couldn't help it!" She cried, placing her hands on her hips. "I was drunk!"

Ichigo tensed, his posture turning rigid. "Yes, I know." He ground out angrily. "And your 'assumption' damn near killed me just now!"

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"

"YOU FREAKING TACKLED ME!" He rumbled. "What the HELL where you thinking?"

"I DIDN'T WANT TO DROWN YOU! I JUST…!" She schooled her voice, and grit her teeth. "I thought that…"

Ichigo's eyes narrowed angrily. "Shut up. Just shut UP."

She threw her hands up. "Today you're being an ass. Yesterday you were nice. You can be so freaking…"

"Yeah, you can be so…"

They finished together. "IMPOSSIBLE!"

They glared at each other for a few moments. Ichigo broke off first. "Cheh!" He snarled. "I'm going to change!"

Rukia stormed up after him. "What about me? It's freezing out here!"

"It's mid-afternoon!" He shouted flippantly, well knowing that even if it was so, the pool was in the shade and it was windy.

"BASTARD!" She cried, the insult coming too easily.

"BITCH!" He retorted, his words laced with more than the usual venom.

Rukia clenched her fists angrily for a while, unsure of what just happened.

Damn it, her every instinct told her something was wrong!

_What was there to lose? What friendship? All we had was some bond, and that's more or less intact. Besides, he feels nothing for me. I need not worry. _

_Objective accomplished. _

…Why did she feel so alone…?

-----

_Bitch. I'm dripping like a bloody fountain. _He thought darkly, walking to the bathroom. _I can't believe she remembered. _

He remembered her horrified look at his 'bunny excuse'. _All right, maybe not…_

Besides, if she truly remembered last night, then she'd remember that he had…

"ARGH!" He suddenly cried out. He clasped his hands to his ears. "No. I didn't do that. She thought I was a bunny. I left."

…It was partially true.

His philosophy was in three simple steps, and he murmured it, silently, as he went about changing his clothes.

One. If it hurt, let it.

Two. If it hurt others, make it hurt you.

Three. Once you get it to hurt you, refer to step one.

No, Ichigo had no problem with managing emotion. It was all part of his image. The more or less nonchalant, don't give a damn attitude that he had been working on for so long, it WAS he. His classmates knew him as he was; his family had more or less accepted the fact that 'onii-chan had become mean'.

…_I refuse._

_I refuse to acknowledge what she can do to me._

_It's for the best, anyway. This isn't OUR home. It's mine. My world._

…Why couldn't he look in the mirror?

…And why did it _hurt_ so goddamn _much_?

He changed slowly, repeating the three steps backward.

-----

AI EX was a learning computer. He was also an initially smart computer. So, knowing that whatever happened while he was rebooting was important, he watched the security tapes.

Besides, if his Master was dead, he needed an accurate account of the death.

He hoped the opposite, of course.

…There is Ichigo standing. Ah, Rukia, barreling down the west staircase. _So, she took the staircase from the second floor hallway directly to here…_

There was Ichigo being tackled—He paused it. He needed audio.

Ah, there we go.

…Hmm.

-----

"Help me clean."

Rukia glared, ready for another round. "Clean up what?"

"I walked, dripping wet, right through the house. After you get changed, help me clean." He said, tossing her something. "There are two staircases, one that goes directly to the second floor, from the west entrance. It's not carpeted. I walked to the bedroom from there."

"…This is…a towel?"

He glared pointedly. "No. It's a special cape that allows you to fly." He retorted. "Dry up, and use it as a blanket." She blinked. "Move it!" He said, stalking off.

The towel; the fluffy white contrasting with Ichigo's apparently black mood, brought her new insight.

Her anger boiled to a simmer. It made sense now.

He was ignoring their fight just now.

He was ignoring the fact that she had nearly drowned him.

He was ignoring what happened last night.

Ichigo simply ignored whatever the hell bothered him; if he couldn't deal with it, he shoved it aside.

So? Why couldn't she just leave it at that?

_Because it doesn't feel right. If it was completely your fault, why doesn't he look you in the eye?_

She didn't like that. Oh, no. Her eyes narrowed. He just wants to ignore what happened, and carry on. Like hell she'd allow that.

-----

He handed her a mop. "You know how to mop?" She nodded. "Then mop."

"Ichigo." She said, abruptly ceasing the clean up they were performing. Her plan was first to bring the subject up, casually. _Subtlety is the key._ "I need to ask you something."

"No."

The blunt retort gave her pause. "…What? Why not?"

He was irritated. "Why do you think? You're going to bring up last night!"

"N-No. I was simply—"

"—Like hell." He cut off angrily. He resumed mopping with a vengeance, intent on moving away from her position, and her questions.

She gave chase. "Oh? Well, since it was purely my fault, why are you so defensive?" She commented, calmly, quickly mopping her way up to him.

He moved away again. "What are you talking about? I'm not being defensive."

She began mopping a little bit further up the hallway, away from the stairs. She smiled when he moved towards them, in an effort to put some distance. _Checkmate._

"Yes," she said, moving up to mop the base. "You are."

He scowled. _Come up with something, _he decided quickly. "…It's embarrassing, okay?" He said, using a little bit of the truth….

Rukia couldn't help but grin. She was finally back in control. "Embarrassed? Over such a little thing?"

"It wasn't 'little', far from bloody from it!" he snapped, heading up the stairs, and mopping as he went along.

"Oh…?" She winced inwardly. Was it possible that… "I thought all I did was 'use you as a stuffed bunny'." She said, using his words. "Wasn't that it?"

_Okay, _a forehead vein showing. _That's it._

He went right up to her. "I don't want to talk about it." He deadpanned.

"Aha!" She cried triumphantly. "That's it, isn't it? You don't want to talk about it." She leaned closer and glared angrily. "What really happened?"

"You don't WANT to know."

"No, YOU don't want to tell me." She folded her arms angrily. "You never talk about these things, you just clam up and forget it happened." Her eyes flashed dangerously. "I don't appreciate being lied to, Ichigo."

His entire body tensed, and he spun on his heel, dropping the mop as he went. Rukia, walked after him, roughly grabbing his shoulder. "Oi!"

"This isn't about ME. It's about you!" He ground out.

A deathly silence passed between them. Rukia tentatively removed her arm from his shoulder. "…What did I do?" She asked, her eyes suddenly cold.

Ichigo's fist clenched and unclenched involuntarily. _So what if she spoke some guys name last night? It shouldn't matter to me. We're not going out. We're not married. We're not intimate._

It hurt him.

That was the whole reason he had done his best to ignore it.

"…Rukia." He began, "Is Kaien from the Soul Society?" …No answer. "He is, isn't he?" He turned around to look at her. "Oi, Rukia—"

"It's time for lunch, isn't it?" She asked a smile plastered on her face. She whirled around with flourish. "I'll ask AI-san to make something."

He slammed his fist into the wall. _Damnit!_

Rukia seemed to stop at the sound. "Kaien-dono is dead." She turned slowly to glance at him, her expression unreadable. "Or…shall I say…he was murdered?"

She left.

Ichigo watched her go, dumbstruck.

"**_No, in truth, that wasn't just the day Mother died…" Ichigo said, gazing out his window at a sharp crescent moon, a towel in his hand and Rukia listening patiently._**

"…**_It was the day she was murdered."_**

-----

"…"

_**I trust you find the food satisfactory, Madame?**_

"Ah," she said cheerfully, "the food is fine, AI-san. This is a…?"

_**It's a Gourmet sandwich, Madame. Roast Chicken and pineapple, honey and mustard, on toast.**_

"It's great!" She exclaimed, not knowing half the ingredients.

"Oi, Alex."

AI EX had decided earlier that correcting Ichigo was really a waste of RAM. **_Yes, Sir?_**

"It's kinda hot out." He said, noting the change between the relative coolness of the morning and now. "Do you know why?"

_**Weather report say that it an unusual and abrupt shift in weather. If it pleases you, it may rain tomorrow.**_

Both Rukia and Ichigo jumped at that. Rain.

Rukia got up suddenly. Ichigo traced her movement out the corner of his eye. "In the Soul Society, if it's hot, we swim." She commented, as if she felt his gaze.

He grunted, and continued eating. Man, it was hot. _…And the tension in here is unbearable,_ he thought angrily.

…But it was for the best. In a way, they were getting too close. _What would my classmates think?_

He put his glass down roughly. There was something between them, but it was simply the business of Hollows. Rukia had given him strength…

_So, wouldn't it be nice not to have to hide your relationship with her from your friends? Wouldn't it be nice to call her Rukia in front of them? Wouldn't it be nice not to have to watch your words, your actions, your smiles—_

ARGH! A mutiny! Such rebellious thoughts must be silenced!

A sheet of paper slowly floated its way to the dinner table, landing in front of Ichigo. "…What's this?" He asked.

_**It is a list of marriage counsellors, ranked in order of best to wors—**_

Ichigo clenched his fist, crumbling the paper he was holding. A vein throbbed angrily against his forehead. "…Now, why would you give this to me, Alex?"

_**You see, Sir, I noticed earlier how you and the Madame simulated an actual marital argument. I decided your next step would be to—**_

"…We aren't going to get counselling."

…**_Ah, I see. You are not yet ready to—_**

"—NO Alex!" He exploded. He halted, and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm himself down.

…**_Then the other scenario is that the argument earlier was real._**

Ichigo nodded his approval.

AI decided to drop the subject. **_Kurosaki-san. I have an idea._**

…Not this again. He was sick of questions.

"What?"

_**If Kuchiki-san doesn't have a swimsuit, it would be wise to get her one from the closet upstairs.**_

"…" No, he was in too stunned to answer.

-----

Ichigo silently praised the gods. At least she was able to put the suit on correctly. "It's a lot like one of the Shinobi suits in the Goutei 13." She muttered, intent on pinching the close-fitting material. "Just…a lot tighter…."

He didn't need to hear that. "Great," he said. "I'll be going now."

She picked up a pair of swimming trunks. "I take it you aren't going to swim?" She said, remembering his lack of ability this morning.

"Oh, in this heat, I'd love to, but I don't have a pair," he said sarcastically. _No, bitch, I don't want to drown._

"Will this do?" She asked, holding up the pair she found.

"…" _God. What is WITH this girl? _"Do you have short-term memory loss?" Ichigo said irritably. "I can't swim."

_**If I may Sir, from the way Kuchiki-san rescued you earlier—**_

Oh yes. Rescued me after pushing me in.

—**_It seems that she is an accomplished swimmer. It may be wise to ask her for lessons._**

Rukia had already walked out of the room. "I don't mind!" She called. "But it's understandable if you're afraid." His eyebrow twitched at the accusation.

_Aha_, he thought darkly, _right._

-----

…_I love this…_ She thought happily. The water was so cool, and it gave her a feeling of weightlessness that only flying through the air as a Shinigami could beat. _How ingenious for the people of this time to make pools._

She swam with long, lazy strokes, on her back. The suit she was wearing was vaguely uncomfortable, and she actually felt that it would be better to swim without it.

I mean, if Ichigo or AI-san weren't around, of course. She sighed, happily giving in to the water, letting it cool her head and thoughts. So, she had mentioned Kaien…what a brilliant move.

Well, now that she thought about it, they were really quite alike…

But they were different. She just couldn't explain it. Like night and day. The same, but different.

She dove under the water suddenly, swimming along and skimming the bottom. She had to stop thinking, now.

Ichigo's arrival gave her a little amusement. The way he stayed near the shallow end was especially comical. Still, she thought, swimming over to him, he had fulfilled his part of the deal, now it was her turn.

"Okay, Ichigo, the first thing you need to do is accept the fact that you're scared of water," she said, relaxed enough to tease him.

He sat down in the pool, and the water went up to his chin. "First of all," he growled, "I'm not scared. If I were scared, and that is a VERY big if; I wouldn't even be here." She nodded, trying to look thoughtful.

"I see…then let's move on a deeper area."

Ichigo hesitated for just a second, before coming to a decision. "This is enough." He said firmly.

Rukia suppressed a smile and put on her best stern expression. "…I can't teach you how to swim here."

"Yes, you can."

A smile cracked her expression, and she swam behind him. "You don't want me to tell your classmates that you can't swim right?" She threatened, shoving him forward. "Besides, I wouldn't let you drown."

His suspicious glare was met by a Cheshire Cat grin. "Uh-huh."

After a little more coaxing Ichigo decided to move a foot or two. Before he knew it, the water was up to his chin.

"This is the first thing I learned. It's a basic float technique." Rukia demonstrated it by floating on her back herself. "Here, you try. I'll support you."

"I'd rather not." He muttered, content to just stand there in the cool water.

Rukia glared angrily and grabbed him by the hair. "On your back. NOW."

He winced, returned the glare, but got on his back. _Crap, I'm gonna sink like a rock,_ he thought glumly, but suddenly felt Rukia's small hands supporting him. He panicked at her touch, and earned a noise of impatience from Rukia. "Just relax." She stressed. "Close your eyes."

"If I drown," he said before complying, "I'll haunt you."

Rukia smiled at this. "I'll perform your sending." Grumbling, he closed his eyes, and was surprised to hear her continue. "Just picture yourself floating…do you feel it? The water flowing around you…the way it moves, slowly lapping away…"

He relaxed, listening to her voice till it tuned out. _She's right, _he thought, giving in to nothing-ness. _This IS relaxing. _His earlier irritation from the heat seemed a mile away…as did their fight earlier. _I wonder if I was jealous…? _He held back a scoff, and entertained the idea for a while, until it just wasn't funny anymore.

He knew why, but it was absurd. There was no reason why he should feel…hurt…over the fact that Rukia, in the end, did not belong here. _I knew it from the beginning. I should have kept my damn distance._

"—Ichigo." She said softly, breaking his reverie. He nearly opened his eyes until he felt her hand cover them.

"What…?" He asked, a little annoyed.

Rukia swallowed. She had to know…she had dropped enough hints. Kaien's death was her fault, just as Ichigo felt that his mother's death was his. In a way, it was this sick, tormented knowledge that caused her to trust him. _We are alike…in all the wrong ways… _she thought sadly.

"…Aren't you going to ask me about…Kaien?" She asked, her voice wavering somewhat. She had dropped hints that she was responsible, by using Ichigo's own description of his mother's death. It was up to him to decide if he wanted to judge her.

Ichigo paused at this, before scoffing. "I'll bet it's a long and boring story."

Her jaw dropped, then clenched angrily. Her vision slowly turned red. _Why you insensitive…_

"…So," he continued, "I want to be sure that I WANT to hear it BEFORE I ask you." The corner of his lips quirked into a small smile, knowing she was probably about to go into a fit. "But, you know…if you were to tell me on your own, I probably couldn't stop you."

Rukia smiled, truly, at his choice of words. Then her smile turned playful. "I think you should open your eyes now."

Ichigo realised that she wasn't supporting him anymore. His eyes widened. "Oh shit!" He cried, sinking.

Rukia couldn't help but laugh. He emerged, flustered, intent on some sort of revenge. Her small stature gave him an idea… "I wonder how far I can throw you?" He asked, advancing quickly.

Rukia stopped laughing, and, realising what he had in mind, started swimming for shore.

She wasn't quick enough.

With a shriek of fear that Ichigo knew he'd remember for the rest of his life, Rukia went up into the air and landed with a splash.

Although his mirth was cut short when she dunked him under water, their laughter echoed till evening came.

_Tsuzuku_

I need a light chapter to make up for all the angst XD I do believe its Rukia's turn to make dinner!


	6. Paris

Disclaimer and notes: Ahem. I don't own Bleach, it's out of my hands, but this story is mine, and I'm just a fan.

XD Okay, lame rhyme, I'm sorry. But the usual disclaimer bores me…

Who's watched Casablanca?

No, really. Anyone…?

**To the Wind  
Chapter 6  
**By AdventWing

Rukia has decided that she likes her bathing suit. Very, very, very much. She mulls over its greatness even thought she's not actually _using_ it now. It's silly; she knows; but all she can do is praise the damn suit. She's out of it now, and wearing a bathrobe, but she can't seem to stop smiling, although the blush across her face has subsided.

_Bless the person who invented the bathing suit_, she thinks happily, a vision of Ichigo's playful grin slipping into her mind.

Ugh. She can't help the smile. She sighs lightly at her reflection, prodding and poking her cheek experimentally. She even slaps herself on the cheek lightly.

Quickly giving in to the idea that she's going to have to stay this way, she finds a dress she likes, maroon, and heads off to test her culinary skills in the kitchen.

-----

"What?" Ichigo asks irritably.

_**I was inquiring whether Kuchiki-san's lessons were of any help.**_

Ichigo shrugged dismissively, feeling the warmth spread across his face. "Maybe. I can float now."

_**That is indeed a fine start! Now, if you'll excuse me, I will assist the Madame in the kitchen.**_

Ichigo frowned. He actually voluntarily got in a pool with Rukia and enjoyed himself. _I can't believe I did that._ What the heck is he thinking? Today the pool, tomorrow…

Still, he thought to himself, glancing around the room, it was fun. And there's so much to do in this house. He blinked at the long line of American DVDS. They might even watch a movie.

What was so bad about being here, he thought idly sprawled on the sofa. It was like a resort! All they _technically_ had to do was live here, right? His scowl deepened at the thought of their earlier arguments—

Back.

_Push it back, _he commanded.

It wasn't that bad really. He just had to relax and forget about what he can't control.

Easy. Nothing could happen now.

_**Sir, I hate to be the bearer of bad news every time an issue arises, but you see there is no one else in the house and…**_

Ichigo pinched the bridge of his nose, tying to stem the headache.

"Don't tell me. I can guess. Kitchen?"

_**Madame is refusing my help. Now, she was very polite about it, but I hope that—**_

"God. Shut up!"

-----

Ichigo stared, dumbstruck at the scene beyond the doorway to the Kitchen.

There was something wrong. Why? Simply because, NOTHING WAS WRONG.

And _that_ was wrong.

Rukia, sensing she had company, quit her humming abruptly and glanced backwards. Quickly spinning around, Ichigo place his back against the wall ninja-style. Like that manga. His heart hammering, and not knowing _why _he instinctively hid, he hissed at AI-san in harsh whispers.

"_There's nothing wrong!"_

**_But my scena—_**Ichigo brought his fingers to his lips in a shushing motion.

_But my scenario simulator came up with a simple equation. (Kuchiki-san – Kurosaki-san) Kitchen Fire._

"_But there isn't one yet, right?"_

_**Well no, but—**_

"SSSSSSSSHHHH!"

_But wouldn't you at lest what to know what she's making, and how flammable the procedure would be?_

Ichigo thought about that for a moment.

…When you put it that way…

-----

Ichigo faked apathy as he casually walked in to the kitchen. "Hey Rukia, what—THE FUCK?" He asked as a glass sailed over his head. Rukia was suddenly in front of him, glaring him down. He took a long step back, properly cowed. _How the hell did she move so fast?_

"You can't come in." She held up her index finger. "You can't watch." Another finger. "You can say anything." She added quickly seeing his mouth open. "You will wait, patiently, until I finish."

"I kinda think you're being a little—"

Rukia cracked her knuckles, grinning sardonically. "A little…what? Dear…?"

Ichigo has left the area.

-----

She muses thoughtfully, putting the final touches on the dish. Sure, she had to improvise, but it looks nice. _Why did I want to do this alone, anyway? It might have been more fun if Ichigo was here…_

He could have…

…Tasted the sauce? Helped her cut the vegetables? He could have helped her put on this infernal apron…

She shakes her head to clear such a harmonious scene.

It was a matter of pride! Pride! She couldn't have him think that she couldn't cook!

With an idea from one of the magazines she had read on a nearby table, she called AI EX and asked him to set the table, momentarily watching mechanical arms come out from nowhere, and, in a flurry, set to work.

Well, she didn't know how accurate those glossy books were, but give her a break.

There wasn't any manga in the house.

-----

"Okay," Ichigo muttered. "I didn't expect this."

Rukia grinned smugly. "See? I'm not a hopeless case. I had to cook for myself all the time!"

It was…really good…he thought to himself, savouring the main dish. "Fish in Tempura sauce…" Simple. Traditional. He tasted a little pepper. _And a little spicy…_ He chased away any thoughts he might have about the chef.

_What's happening to me…? _He asks somewhere between his glass of water and the next bite. _I was completely NOT like this before. It's the personal space thing. Or some kind of whacked out psychological effect of being alone with her…I mean like really alone._

He paused at his surroundings. It was just too…campy. Husband and wife, eating a meal in peace…

Hmm…he thought, spacing out at Rukia's explanation of how she learned how to cook and why she was superior in every way. Mrs. Kurosaki….

He caught himself before the daydream began, and his eyes widened in horror. He was thinking of spending the rest of his life—_HOLY SHIT! THIS VIBE IS POISON! _He thought, his eyes widening in panic. (Naru Style XD)

Rukia stared. "What?"

Ichigo hesitated.

"A toast?" He suggested lamely, sitting down again.

Rukia sat wondering what a toast was. Yet the way he held the glass of coke struck a memory…Oh! "Ah, sure."

"To a—" Long life? _She's dead._ Happy marriage? _They're not married._

…Kids?

He blanched.

"—Good grade!" Rukia added helpfully. She smiled at the look on his face. "What, Ichigo? Forgot the whole reason we're staying here?"

"Hey, we're going to do more than get a good grade!" He declared. "We're gonna ace this subject, and then I'm going to grind my report card into screwball-sensei's face!" He said, remembering the hell he put them through the other night.

Rukia grinned, her grin equally evil. "Agreed. Cheers."

-----

**_The emphasis on family and relationships is overlooked in today's curriculum; it is usually a subject all on its own, which no real connection to Home Economics. What many do not know is that it is a vital—_**WACHOO!

Katobeto rubbed his nose. "Darn my cold."

He paused, his fingers poised on the keyboard. _I wonder how my lab rats are doing…._

-----

Okay, sure enough, Rukia had read about television. She had seen other people watch television. But no, she has not actually watched it herself. So, naturally, she's excited.

"So what will we watch?" Rukia asks, as nonchalantly as possible.

Ichigo grunts. "Don't know yet." He's sitting down on the floor next to an impressive library. Ichigo was busy browsing through the rack, intent on finding a movie that they will _both_ enjoy. It's quite simple really, if he has to sit through two hours of say…

The Sound of Music! He thought, pulling out the disc.

Isshin's favourite movie. His eyebrow twitches, recalling the night they watched it again and again until morning, after he was tied to a chair.

…He was weak-willed back then.

He shuddered when he remembered Isshin's rendition of 'Sixteen going on seventeen'…

Ugh.

Rukia leans over his shoulder to glance at the title. "Hmm. Foreigner. She's wearing those clothes the woman on the milk container was wearing…."

Ichigo laughed humourlessly, tossing the old movie over his shoulder. "No, crap movie and no, not subbed."

Rukia caught it, reading the kanji sticker on the back, with acclamations to the movies success. "Yes it is. Subbed I mean."

Ichigo frowned. "No. It isn't."

Rukia frowned. "C'mon, it looks nice."

Ichigo stared long and hard at Rukia and the movie. "Oh _course_ you'd think it looks nice."

Rukia shrugged. "Then?"

Ichigo made no answer, and proceeded to make a mess out of the DVD collection.

Rukia frowned. What was so hard about picking a movie? This one, for instance, looks good. Casablanca….

Rukia reads the synopsis with mild curiosity. Her eyes widen.

She taps Ichigo on the head. "What?" He growls.

-----

"This is…?"

"Popcorn. Good stuff." He puts a few in his mouth. Rukia nodded, and reached over to grab some. Ichigo frowned, his chest tightening as he smells the shampoo in her hair—

"Hey! Here, HERE." He puts the bowl between the two of them, hoping to create some physical distance. Rukia decides that as usual, whatever Ichigo eats is good, and puts the bowl in her lap and takes its place.

Ichigo stifles a groan of frustration, but, getting into the movie, ignores the part where Rukia lays her head on his shoulder.

-----

Rukia didn't cry.

Shinigami didn't have the privilege to cry

She couldn't cry. Nope. She can't.

So, her eyes bright with unshed tears, she repeatedly slams Ichigo into the couch by grabbing a fistful of his shirt and, sobbing, she asked him, why, why did he let her watch Casablanca?

Now, Yuzu cried. He suspected Karin did too. Isshin (who is an old-movie buff) bawled like a baby.

So, starting to see stars, he wonders if this is her way of crying.

Hell, maybe he should comfort her.

It's worth a shot.

"RU-KIA! ST—OP! IT'S OK-KAY, DAMNIT!"

"NO! IT'S NOT! AFTER ALL THAT, HE JUST LET HER FREAKING GO? THAT'S NOT HOW IT SHOULD END! THAT'S NOT HOW IT SHOULD EEEEEENNNNNNNNNNDDDD!"

"OH GOD! THEY'LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS!" He cried out desperately.

"WAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

-----

"…Calmed down yet?"

"…Yeah." She sniffed, her face scarlet. _Doesn't this just beat all?_ She wonders. _I've made a real mess of things. Still…_she thought, enjoying the security from his embrace_, …I have to make a mess of things more often. It feels really nice to be held like this…._

"…Crazy bitch." He mutters. "Get emotional much?"

Rukia buries her head into his shoulder. "Bite me."

"It was just a movie for crying out loud."

"So? How can you be unaffected by such a tale of—"

Something clicked, and Ichigo slapped his forehead. "Rukia. It was acted out. Like a play."

A pause.

"Oh…"

-----

Ichigo frowned.

That feeling you get when you've done something before…

Pounding up the stairs to their room, he wondered if he was feeling deja vu…

In his arms, Rukia stirred.

Yup. He was.

_She's not drunk. _He said silently. _She's not. So, no problems, and even if she does mutter some guys name, I won't give a damn._

So, he tucks her in, and, deciding to sleep downstairs again, is about to head out, when he's grabbed by the shirt. Rukia glared narrowly at him. "I thought we had an agreement."

Ichigo frowned. "You were awake."

Rukia sat up and sauntered to the walk-in closet. "Of course I was. You assumed I was asleep. Besides, who the hell could sleep with the way you storm up the stairs?"

"I bet you just wanted a free ride," he said crossly, flopping onto the bed morosely.

He was tired. The argument today, the dinner last night, swimming…he'd be dead by the week was over. And he was seriously losing self-control here….

_What a mess. _He thought heatedly. _What keeps us together is what keeps me from…_

Maybe, in another time, in another life, without all the shit weighing him down, he would have considered dating her…and maybe…

Maybe loving her…

"Good night Ichigo," called a voice form his side.

He sat up quickly, a somewhat guilty expression on his face. "GOD! Don't DO that!"

Rukia glanced up from her side suspiciously. "I've been here a while."

Ichigo's eyes adjusted themselves to the darkness. She had turned off the lights too? Man, he was out of it… "…What the hell are you wearing?"

Rukia tugged at the nightgown self-consciously. "I dislike the pyjamas that I borrowed from your sisters. I dislike tight clothing in general, actually." She shrugged. "This is much more comfortable." She glared at his stare. "What? You want to wear it? Good night."

Ichigo seemed to remember something, and then he grunted a sentence out.

Rukia raised an eyebrow at this. "What did you—"

He then flipped to face the opposite direction. "I said, thanks for the freaking swimming lesson." He said roughly. "…It was fun." He added begrudgingly

Rukia smiled happily. She was relieved that he had enjoyed himself too. "Maybe we could go again…?"

"Maybe."

She nodded. Lightning flashed and thunder suddenly erupted in the background. She jerked, surprised.

"Alex said there'd be rain." He said; with a hint of…she frowned. Irritation?

_All our bad memories were connected with rain…_she considered, noting the irony. _His mother…and…Kaien…_

She wanted to ask…

"I know why I hate rain." Ichigo began, surprising her by turning over to look into her startled eyes. His own were soft, and calming. She slowly relaxed into his gaze. "…Why do you?" He asked. The soft pelts of the rain, like a heartbeat, steady, growing quicker…

_The rain came down that night…it kept coming…._

_Like tears I shouldn't be able to shed…_

-----

**Subject 01 and 02 suffer from deeply psychological effects, which prevent them from achieving a happy union because they have not discussed it. **

**-**

**Subject One has broached the topic. **

**-**

**Allow them to continue? **

**-**

**Acknowledged**

**-**

**Awaiting further instructions.**

_Tsuzuku_

Aha…I guess I used the theme of Ichigo and Rukia watching television…sorry. But c'mon…how can anyone resist such a cute scene?

Bet you all thought Rukia would blow up the kitchen, huh? I've always liked the scene where the sink lands somewhere it shouldn't be…

Like? Well, Ishida's room for one.

O.o **"Why is there a sink in bed with me?"**

Clichéd I know, but I find it funny…

How the sink flew so far? Um…

Maybe it flew into a space-time warp (That's my excuse for everything. Science-fiction is the new superstition)

Ah, well, next chapter will be focused on Rukia's past. So beware…


	7. Eyes On Me

**WARNING!**

The following contains scenes that are unfit for the eyes of those who do not know Kaien.

**Ala Leo: Fairly warned be ye, fan people.**

If you have no idea who Kaien is, you will soon. If you proceed, that is.

Anyway, feel free to play Memories In The Rain, Ichigo and Rukia's duet. I know I am.

**To the Wind  
Chapter 7**_  
By AdventWing_

There's some initial conflict, after she gets over the involuntary spread of warmth.

She should act offended.

She should scoff, turn around, and tell him that it was none of his business. She should grasp the feelings that threaten to overwhelm her, and hide them, force them down, keep them back.

Yet any hostile actions or words just didn't fit, right now.

_I want him to know. _She thinks, and her eyes widen at such mutinous thoughts.

A flash of lightning heralds thunder, but it is her thoughts that make her shiver. Ichigo hesitates, making an offer by moving closer, slowly, his arms slipping around her. Her heart speeds up; _what are you doing? We can't do this; I can't do this…_

But the rain tonight is heavy, and Ichigo's questioning has opened old wounds.

_You want the security he can provide._

When he hesitates, she closes the distance.

She questions at the wisdom of her subconscious, but cuddles against him anyway. For once, she's going to do what feels right, and not worry about the consequences. Pulling the blanket over them, she's taken back because she's able to listen to his heartbeat.

It beats quickly, like hers.

Her reverie is interrupted; Ichigo buries his face in her hair.

Is he afraid? Relieved? …Content? _No, moron,_ Rukia scoffs mentally. _That's how YOU feel._

Then why is he doing this?

"I don't know where to start." She manages, her words wrenched with repressed pain. The wound is so old, but always manages to bleed anew. She can't stop what she knows will happen next. It builds up and washes over her, her shame and guilt that makes her feel repulsive inside.

Ichigo sees it, he feels it, and knows it well; it's a lot like his. "I won't judge you…you didn't judge me."

"What are we doing?" She asks, tensing, a last résistance. "What will it solve?"

Ichigo doesn't hesitate. "It'll solve nothing."

She felt him pull away, and she peeked reluctantly at his face.

"And if you really want to know, I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

He traced a line from her cheek down, and when his hand reached her neck, he reached behind her to pull her close. "…I just know that I hate the rain…and so do you." This was the tough bit. "It hurts me," He murmurs reluctantly. "It hurts me because my mother died in the rain.

"If you think I shouldn't know, don't tell me, Rukia. But don't think you're alone…because I hate the rain too."

Her next words are soft, but coarse, more breathed out than said. "I trust you."

He buries his face in her hair; reason is lost. "Then tell me."

She starts at the beginning.

"…I wasn't always a Shinigami…I used to be a normal spirit. I began in one of the poorer sectors of the Soul Society." She remembers days spent fishing, exploring…stealing to survive.

She smiles sadly. "I wonder if you can imagine what it's like for a commoner like me to suddenly be adopted into a noble family."

"Probably was hell."

Rukia gauged his answer silently, wondering if he knew of prejudice, of backbiting, of being alone. It was really staring at her in the face. _His hair. Tatsuki-san mentioned it had a sort of stigma attached to it…_

She didn't see anything wrong with it, yet she could see what was wrong with her.

"I mean…it must have been hard for you." His face darkened as he remembered his own troubled years. "It's hard for anyone who stands out."

"…Was it hard for you?" She asked suddenly.

Ichigo hesitated before making a mumble of ascent. "Yeah." He shifted his weight slightly to draw her closer. "It was."

"I wasn't treated like family…I was more like a…" she swallowed, her throat choked with remembrance. "…Like a dog. Like a stray dog that they had decided to take in. Some may spare it glances of pity, but when it wanders in one day, dirty…I was a fool for thinking it would be better…"

"They graduated me immediately. I was a Shinigami…but even then, I tried my best to at least thank my step-bro—my step-family for taking me in." She didn't want him to know about Byakuya…considering how passionate he was about being the eldest; she was worried how he'd take his attitude towards her.

"But…I still received no recognition." She said bitterly. "Thinking about the other students who worked so hard to pass…maybe…I didn't deserve any."

Ichigo frowned; he disliked that kind of talk and was mildly surprised to find it coming from Rukia. Yet…

He knew it. He knew it better than anyone. The sense of worthlessness, of despair, like a hole in your chest… "And then?" He asked gently.

"And then…there was a person…in my new squad. He…and the others…they made me feel like I belonged. He was one of the only people I know who talked to me like Rukia, not like 'Kuchiki-san'…yet he treated me like I mattered to the team. He said…he said he'd stand by me, even if he'd die."

Her eyes began to mist, and she cursed herself angrily. "I…I admired him."

Ichigo held her tighter. "Kaien-san…am I right?" Jealousy was the last thing on his mind, faced with her weakness.

Rukia nodded, stiffly, against his chest. _Gods, _she asked as thunder boomed mercilessly. _Why won't the rain stop?_

"He was married. His wife was a beautiful person and I wanted to be like her…she was my idol."

"Then…"

"Then I killed him," she whispered, recalling the night before.

Ichigo's grip became stronger, and he whispered sharply. "That's not it."

Rukia swallowed a sob. _Why do you make me do this, Ichigo? Just take my word for it…I killed him…_

"I refuse to…believe that was it." Something clicked. "A Hollow."

Remembering the face of the Hollow that killed Kaien—Rukia shook her head, her face wretched. "His wife's entire unit had been annihilated. Gone. She was dead. He wanted revenge….

"He was strong, but the Hollow was stronger…our captain didn't let me help him." She fumbled for the words to her memory. "…Pride," she scoffed bitterly. "…It was a battle for pride, not life.

"He wanted revenge. He fought alone. He told me…and Taichou…not to interfere."

"**_Stay out of it, Rukia!" Ichigo said, his eyes wild with anger. " …This is my fight!"_** His eyes widened in comprehension. Then that time with Grand Fisher…

"Kaien was strong…and he would have won…but…he was possessed by the Hollow…I'll never forget the way that…thing…used Kaien…"

"We couldn't save him. Taichou told me to run…but…in the end…I killed him…"

Ichigo paused. "Then…you—"

"—I WASN'T BRAVE! She cried out suddenly. "When Taichou told me not to help, I was too scared to disobey! When Taichou told me to run, I was too afraid of what would happen if I did!" She choked on her words. Rising up to look at him, her eyes alight with pain. "And when I stabbed Kaien, it was because I was afraid of death! …Why did he thank me? The only one I saved was me, my disgusting self—" The spontaneity, it happened again, and he forced himself on her harshly this time, filled with the same ache that only she seemed to understand; she drank it, she needed it, and when they parted, it wasn't because they wanted to stop. Rukia placed a finger to his lips, as he bent down again hungrily, her tears forgotten and his amber eyes cloudy with emotion.

"That was my second kiss. Last night…you…"

Ichigo couldn't think straight; he tried, but failed to see why last night mattered. All he wanted…all he could think of…

"I can't believe I forgot…that was why…I knew you looked guilty…" She was too close, she was whispering to him, her forehead pressed against his.

The fact that her lips were less than an inch away from his didn't help his mental state. "I did feel that…at first. I kept telling myself you were drunk…"

"And then…?" She asked softly.

"And then I realised that your tears would be worse than your anger…"

Her voice was quiet, but heavy. "I'm not angry…" She closed her eyes as he leaned in again. Her hands buried themselves in his hair as he kissed her again. She broke away first this time, trying and failing to keep her head straight, and allowed it to rest on his shoulder. "I want to forget." She murmured, pleadingly. "Being here…it helps me…I can push it away…because I'm happy…" He responded to her words. "…But we have to…" _STOP, _she pleaded silently, even though she herself gently pressed her lips against his neck. Ichigo pulled her up, and kissed her again, and all she could think about was that she couldn't hear the rain past the roar in ears. She quickly stifled a moan; when he reached under the night-gown to graze her ribs with his fingertips— "Stop." She said, aloud this time. Something seemed to click, and Ichigo pulled away swiftly, breathing hard, and he turned away.

Rukia lay there, her gaze half-lidded. She realised that her heart was beating completely out of control, she truly felt it might burst, and her hand rose, unbidden, to rest on it, to slow it down. _Great. _She thought in wonder, and she meant it. _What now?_

"Ichigo…" She tried, and noticed that he was just about to get off the bed. In a split second, she made her decision. She didn't care that he probably felt angry at himself, frustrated with her, or confused, all she knew was that if he left, if he went downstairs, there'd be another wall, another barrier between them, and she didn't want that.

She didn't want to be alone.

"Stop." She managed to say that word again, wrapping her arms around his waist, her grip firm, unyielding. "Please." She added as an afterthought.

"…What the hell am I doing…?" He muttered. _This is wrong. This is all wrong. I forced her. I… _"What the hell…"

Rukia leaned forward to give him a quick peck on the cheek. "There's nothing…to apologise for…"

Ichigo begged to differ. There was plenty to apologise for. Yet the feel of her embrace took it all away…

What does it mean? He asked idly. What are we now? What are we doing? All thought was out; he was reacting completely on feelings from the moment he kissed her…it was too confusing…what he really needed was to get away from—

"Don't move." Rukia bit her lip to soften her words. "Don't leave me…" He relaxed at her plea, his head cooler. "…It's still raining…" Rukia turned to the window, to find the rain still beating on it, the wind fuelling its rage. "It's a real storm…"

"…I won't be able to sleep unless I ask this…" He began tentatively. He gestured to the door. "Do you want me to—"

"No." she said shortly. "I don't." With that she pulled him with her into the bed, and under the covers, resting her head near his shoulder. "It's late, and I'm tired…"

Damnit! Didn't she feel a little _less_ trustful now? Now that he had— "Oi." He began roughly. "I really think that—ow…OW!"

"When I say, sleep, we sleep." She said, attempting to be playful, grabbing him by his nose and pulling down.

"_Bwitch_" He mumbled nasally.

Rukia smiled, released him, and lay against him once more. _Gods what a long day…the party last night, the argument, and the pool, cooking, and the movie…_ "Blast this gigai. It's completely useless. What Urahara needs to create is some kind of mod-body…like Kon…except for Shinigami…"

"Whatever," he muttered, his thoughts dark.

Somewhere between consciousnesses, Rukia noted his tone, and remembered their actions with a drowsy smile. "…We think too much," she began.

What the hell does _that_ mean? He asked himself roughly. "You do know who you're in bed wi—who you're talking to, right?"

"Even you," she continued, "Think too much." She was slipping, but she needed to get this out. "Maybe we should quit that for a while…" She finished to an attentive and confused Ichigo, as she crossed the threshold into sleep…

_This is…probably my only good memory of rain, _she thought happily.

She hoped Ichigo felt the same…and wondered what she would do if he did…?

-----

Katobeto grinned.

In case you're wondering, he was not allowed to eavesdrop on their conversations, no. Sure, he's tried. But the apparent rule (And there were rules, curse them) was that the privacy of the two subjects was NOT to be compromised.

…And by the way, that meddling AI EX was one heck of an enforcer.

Still, he could not believe his luck. Here we have two, deeply angst-ridden subjects, residing in a scenario that he himself set! Now…if he could tweak things a little…he could turn this into more than just a simple experiment! He could argue the psychological side of it too! Home Economics would be secure in its place as a core subject! Today psychology, tomorrow, the Core Sciences!

Soothing his whisker-like moustache, he let out a chuckle, a strange chuckle, and one that sounded more like a purr…

"I think our subjects need to get out of the house…" He said, eyeing the list of names and phone numbers on his right…

-----

Ichigo groaned, his eyes opening slightly. _No, this weight next to me is not Rukia. The steady breathing I hear is not Rukia. The soft breath of air against my skin is NOT…Rukia…._

"Ichigo…" She murmured wanly.

Ichigo fought off his blush. First she's bossing him around, then she's dreaming about him…how can one person be such a mass of contradictions…? He resisting the urge to move aside a stray hair, and failing. His hand lingered on her cheek, why was it so soft? — Before he scratched his head, finally deciding that this girl was doing _very_ bad things to him. If things had gotten out of hand last night…

Last night…she hurt just as much as he did…and that's why it mattered so much to him that…

She mumbled something, and moved closer, the temptation growing…

His heart sped up. Well, if she let him last night then…maybe…

_**Excuse me Sir.**_

Ichigo jumped away, his eyes the size of saucers. "Wha—! What the hell? Alex?" Rukia awoke with a start, and dived under the covers, clutching Ichigo's waist, letting out a very strangled meep.

_**It's nearly noon, sir. The curtains are drawn.**_

"What the hell are you doing Alex?" He said through clenched teeth.

_**May I come in?**_

Ichigo and Rukia blinked in unison. "How?"

_**What I mean to say is, may I turn on my sensors? I am blind to anything happening in the Master Bedroom.**_

Rukia tilted her head. "Why? After all, what if something were to—" She caught Ichigo's venom-laced glare and paused, and then she flushed bright, bright red. "Ah…"

_**Never mind. I have arrived here to warn you. Katobeto-sensei has just rung our doorbell.**_

A heartbeat later, and Ichigo laughed without amusement, and cracked his knuckles ominously. "Not funny Alex."

_**With a number of your previous guests in tow.**_

Ichigo's jaw dropped, his mind blown away.

Rukia put his thoughts into words. "No fucking way…"

Ichigo glanced at Rukia. "Change, I'll kick the guy out."

Rukia swung out of bed, and ran to the bathroom. "First off, we can't do that." She tossed him bathrobe and donned one herself. She frowned. It was kinda big, but it would do.

"Okay, let's go."

-----

"What the fu—oomph!"

Rukia retracted her elbow with a smile and quickly greeted him like an uncle. "How are you Katobeto-sensei?"

Katobeto smiled. "I'm fine." He eyed their identical robes with interest. "You do realise that there must be no se—"

"YES!" Ichigo interrupted loudly. "Now what the hell do you want?"

"Well, I've decided that you two shouldn't stay cooped up in the house. You may be newly-weds but that doesn't mean you can't go out with your friends once in a while." He gestured to a very full looking SUV. "I think that it would be a good day to test out a few theories of mine…you're still being assessed, of course."

Mizuiro was talking excitedly and pointing at them, while Keigo seemed to be nodding at his words and crying. Chad had a whole seat to himself, and he was looking a little bewildered. Tatsuki, on the other hand was waving a fist and Ichigo didn't need to be a professor in language to translate her actions into '**_KILL HIM!_**'

Orihime and Ishida both seemed a little dazed and Ishida seemed to like to interject with a comment here and there. Orihime simply nods her head at whatever the hell he's saying, while holding Tatsuki in her seat.

"Dress lightly," Katobeto said, bringing their shocked faces back to him. "It'll be a hot day."

They gaped as one at his grin. "Well? What are you two doing?" His voice was light but his eyes held a glint. "I said you're being assessed."

Ichigo was still stuck in fourth gear, but Rukia managed to close her mouth, and then open it. No sound came out, so she closed it again.

He made a shooing gesture. "You have ten minutes."

_Tsuzuku_

XD

Guess where we're going? It's not hard! It's been done before…but probably not the way I have it planned.

Okay. No more for now, I'm tired. Tomorrow night I guess. Piece by piece, TtW is coming back. The best part is I can revise it further. A blessing in disguise. Now, a few responses…or not. After all that's what got me banned. I think. I hope. If it's something else, I'm going to _**die**._

Much more pain for our favourite duo next chapter


	8. The Obligatory Episode

Disclaimer: Kubo Tite owns Bleach.

-Stretches- Okay.

**To the Wind  
Chapter 8**  
_By Advent Wing_

"…This is insane." Ichigo muttered in disbelief.

Rukia agreed, nodding absent-mindedly as she rushed into the bathroom.

"He can't keep doing this!" He protested. "I'm going to go out there and kick his face in."

"You'll do no such thing." Rukia called, a-matter-of-factly. The sound of running water could be heard.

Ichigo scowled, the thought of _not_ doing it sounding decidedly wrong to his ears. "Why the hell not? He's given us this suspicious project, which by right shouldn't have even been able to get out of the Principle's discussion room, he's given alcohol to minors, and now he's taken his students OUT of the class, and on some even more suspicious trip." He finished this list with clenched fist; one that he slammed into the palm of his other hand with zeal. "What kind of teacher is he?"

"An evil one apparently." Rukia ran out of the bathroom, wearing her robe again, but with her hair wrapped in a towel. "AI-san, time?"

_**T-minus 4 minutes, Madame.**_

She gestured towards the door. "Go."

Ichigo trudged into the bathroom, his mood the same. "An evil one." he scoffed as he undressed roughly. "You could be right. I mean, what kind of sick teacher derives his joy from the suffering of his students?"

"Yukari-sensei?" Rukia quipped, recalling the complaints of some of her classmates.

Ichigo paused to consider this, before heading into the already running shower. "I mean real joy, not just amusement."

"Ah." Rukia muttered, running her hair through with a brush. "AI-san, time?"

_**T-minus 3 minutes, Madame. If you would allow it, I would be grateful if you permitted me to accompany you.**_

Rukia blinked. "So you really _do_ have a…robot body?"

_**No, no, Madame. If you would please look into the top drawer there…?**_

She blinked, holding up a sleek, flat, rectangular object. "…This is…?

_**My temporary residence. I feel it is my duty to accompany you. Given Sir's blatantly prejudiced—**_

"OI!"

—**_Yet firmly logical outbursts, I have decided that Katobeto-sensei's risk rating must be updated._**

Rukia nodded emphatically, though she didn't really get how he'd be able to come along.

…**_If you would just turn the laptop on…._**

**-----**

"Time!"

_**T-minus 30 seconds. 29. 28. 27…**_

"Hold it," she said, sticking a hand out to keep Ichigo from stomping out the front door. "There are a few things we need to cover. First off, no matter what sensei does or says, you will not hit him."

Ichigo frowned. "Cheh." He leaned down to glare at her, an eyebrow reared. "Look me in the eye and tell me he doesn't deserve it."

Rukia leaned forward to flick his nose. "That doesn't matter. He's the one holding onto our grades. If we kill him now, everything we've gone through so far will be wasted."

Ichigo rubbed his nose. "…Fine." He said begrudgingly. A light bulb went on upstairs. "What do you mean, if we kill him NOW…?"

Rukia grinned back, a gleam in her eyes. Leaning forward she whispered, "You're not the only one who'd like a little revenge."

Ichigo leaned back quickly, flushed. "…I'll be good…but no promises on Keigo and Mizuiro."

She shrugged, accepting that his relationship with them was beyond her understanding. "Right, then. Let's go."

-----

"Four, three, two, and…" Katobeto smiled. "Brilliant. Although I don't mark the two of you for something as trivial as time keeping, it's nice that you two put in the extra effort to keep your guests from waiting."

Rukia twitched, and Ichigo noted her annoyance with grim satisfaction. '_There,' _he thought impishly, '_I should have smacked him.'_

Rukia caught his look and sent him one that clearly said '_Bite me.'_

"Well, then, shall we get going?" Katobeto asked, over his shoulder.

"Where are we going…?" Rukia asked.

"Oh…it won't be that long a drive. We're headed north."

"How far…north?" Ichigo asked, matching his stride.

Katobeto grinned, but continued walking.

Rukia and Ichigo paused, a metre or two away from the SUV. Their classmates stared at them expectantly. They shared a brief, unreadable glance, nodded at each other, and walked towards the vehicle with the air of two people following the ferryman of the river Styx.

-----

_Cosy. Hmph. This is about as cosy as Satan's closet._

With Katobeto humming obliviously in the front seat, Ichigo seethed silently, his thoughts not on idyllic scenery, but on revenge. His real problem was that he had promised Rukia that he'd be good. Of course, he knew there was time for control. He was no yakuza, but even she must understand that there was a limit to a man can be stretched….

"Oi! Katobeto-yarou. Shut up and put on some real—"

"—Excuse me, Katobeto-sensei," Rukia filled in, very quickly whacking an area in the vicinity of Ichigo's knee, disguising it as a gesture of excitement. "If I may say, your humming is pleasing to both the ears and the soul! Still, it would be in Ichigo's best interests if you stopped, he might shed tears of joy if you continue to indulge him in such fanciful tunes!" Rukia said, her voice honeyed over, and super dramatized.

Ichigo groaned, cradling his numb leg, partly from the pain, and partly from annoyance at Rukia's cheesy lines.

Keigo blinked. "Now, this time I'm sure I saw Ichigo get hit by Kuchiki-san."

Mizuiro nodded. "You know…I'm sure I saw it too—"

Rukia suddenly frowned anxiously; patting Ichigo's hunched over form comfortingly. "Ara, Ichigo! Are you okay? Are you carsick?" She asked bending down to look at him. She winked conspiratorially.

Ichigo frowned angrily, but failed miserably, settling for an expression of mild annoyance as her wink had unbalanced him.

Tatsuki was sulking in the back with Orihime and Ishida, angry at not being able to bash Ichigo's face in for the time being. She switched to a new song on her Sony player.

"…They're awfully close now…don't you think?"

Ishida looked to his right, startled, as Inoue had been quiet since the trip began. "Who?"

She gestured to the front of the van. "…I suppose they were close before…but now…Kuchiki-san even calls him by his first name, as if she'd been doing it forever." Ishida blinked in surprise. "Well. I suppose so. I didn't dwell on the thought but…" Inoue nodded vaguely. "…Inoue-san?" He asked. Orihime picked up a magazine from the floor, and busied herself with it. Ishida's eyebrows came together, slowly.

Innocent observation or loaded scrutiny?

-----

Ichigo drummed his fingers on the armrest restlessly. Question one, he began, why aren't we taking the train? Question two, did the fucker driving realise that he hadn't given them time for breakfast? And question three, who was the smartass who sat him between Rukia, and the window?

"…So what are all of you doing out of school?" He asked. Ishida coughed suspiciously and pushed up his glasses. Orihime giggled nervously. Chad shifted uncomfortably. Tatsuki didn't hear the question. "Keigo. Mizuiro. Why are all of you here?" He continued warily.

It was then that Keigo grinned. "We wouldn't be able to cut classes without a specific reason…"

Mizuiro nodded his ascent. "We're on…" He glanced at Katobeto worriedly. Mizuiro noticed that he had been watching through the rear-view mirror the whole time. "Um…well…" He hesitated.

"It's a secret mission!" Keigo stage-whispered. "Besides, we're not really missing school—"

Ichigo cut him off. "Dumbass. Dunno why I asked." He glanced behind him. "Well, how about you Needle-boy? Have a real answer for me or are you as gullible as this ding-bat?" Rukia nudged him, he was being rude, but as always, he paid no heed.

Ishida stared impassively. "We're not supposed to give any indication of where we're going." He shrugged. "If you're so interested, ask sensei."

Ichigo glowered. Taking a quick glance at Tatsuki, and deciding that he didn't want to bother her, he leaned back roughly, his arms behind his head. "Cheh." _What the hell does this have to do with Home Economics? What a quack teacher!_

He caught Rukia's glare, and quickly looked out the window. As usual, it was up to her to placate Ichigo's restlessness._ Moron. _She decided silently.

Ichigo sulked, counting the number of clouds in the sky. He felt Rukia tap him on the leg, glanced at her briefly, before returning to his window. He suddenly swung his gaze to meet hers again, in sudden realization. Where'd she get the notebook and markers?

The picture she drew was done in her usual style, and he was surprised to see a strawberry with a strangely comical frown on its face. He glared at her and resisted the urge to shout that his name DID NOT translate to 'strawberry'; rather it meant something a hell lot manlier.

Rukia smirked at his expression. _You're a fruit, and a frowning one at that._ She thought smugly, _Deal with it._

She flipped the page, and Ichigo's frown broke into a raised eyebrow. The next page showcased a happy strawberry chortling happily to a very…strange looking…cat…with round glasses….

Okay. That did it. He grabbed the notebook, and proceeded to roll down the window. Rukia, pissed off, karate chopped a point on his knee (Tatsuki whistled her approval). Snatching her notebook back, she, like any good artiste, studied it carefully, the end of a black marker tapping her chin, wondering how to capture the essence of Ichigo's thick skull onto paper.

Orihime watched this brief exchange with a closed expression. She watched every one of their exchanges with a closed expression. Tilting her head to the side, she caught Tatsuki's glance.

She was watching too.

Everyone was watching.

"Sooo…Kuchiki-san…" Mizuiro began, smiling innocently. "I felt that I should be the first to congratulate you. You must have a Saint's equivalent of patience in your heart."

Rukia blinked. "Excuse me?"

Keigo's face was scrunched up, but one or two tears managed to get out, and he leaned over Mizuiro, grabbing her hands in his. "I—I'm very happy for you Kuchiki-san!"

Ichigo reached over and jerked Rukia's hands out of his grip, twapping their heads angrily. Chad glanced back, his face unreadable. _Ichigo…_he thought to himself. _If he and Rukia had a kid…_he began to form a child's face. _Maybe a girl? _He set Rukia's hair on the child's head. _Took after her father… _

He coloured her hair orange, and…put…Ichigo's…features….

He blanched visibly, and hunched his back. Ichigo turned to him, an eyebrow raised and a frown in place. "The hell are YOU thinking?"

-----

Rukia frowned. They were heading far North. Sighing, she lightly fingered the bag AI-san was in. She had gotten used to the house…where were they going now? "Ah, Katobeto-sensei," she began, "What time will we be going back? We are travelling quite far."

"Well, Kuchiki-san…to answer your question, we're not heading into Hokkaido. However, we will be staying the night there. We're returning tomorrow night."

Ichigo jerked at this. A night with this crew? He paled. He really was on the way to Hades.

Rukia frowned. "I see…" She caught herself before she could fully form the question of whether she and Ichigo would still share a room.

Katobeto grinned, "We'll get there soon. You haven't eaten yet, am I right?"

Rukia glanced at the consumed packets of chips Keigo had brought. She had eaten them all. "Not really…"

"Are you sure you should be taking your students out of school like this?" Ichigo said, unable to contain his irritation. "What kind of a teacher—" He bit his lip, surprised that he hadn't shouted out when Rukia jammed her elbow into his knee. His acquaintance with her had given him a reasonable tolerance to pain…but today he seemed to be experiencing a little more than usual.

"Don't worry about them Kurosaki-san." Katobeto said cheerfully. "It's…a project." His gaze became pointed, but he didn't lose the grin. "And it's a little…difficult…"

Ichigo suddenly felt everyone's gaze on him and Rukia.

"By the way," Katobeto asked, "Did you two finish your Reports like I asked you to…?" Pausing, they both thought back to everything that had happened during the last two days. Had they done the assignment? Well, to be perfectly—

"Yes." They lied earnestly.

"Ah. Good."

-----

Rukia was tired. True, she didn't get to ride in a vehicle all the tine, and she did find it very enjoyable…but conversation was null, due to the presence of a teacher, and her hunger was making her sleepy.

She wondered if she was allowed to rest her head on Ichigo's shoulder. She nearly snickered aloud at the thought of his expression. _Why not? We're married. _She reasoned. She focused on putting away all other nagging arguments on why she shouldn't do it. She had gotten better at that, she speculated. A few more tries and she'll shut it up completely.

The others in the van were irrelevant, she would think to herself a little later.

But in truth she hadn't really thought about them at the time…

-----

Ichigo dared them to say anything. He dared them with his eyes. He dared them with a growl. _I DARE YOU, KEIGO, MIZUIRO. _His gaze swept the interior. _I DARE ALL OF YOU._

No, he hadn't been able to get Rukia off his shoulder. He would make a point to berate her about it later. She had single-handedly sealed his fate.

What's he supposed to say? _This isn't what it looks like. We're not really together._ He winced, imagining their rebuttal.

Hold on. One last, but very lame, loophole awaited him.

"…Accident." He said gruffly. All eyes on him, they blinked. He pointed at Rukia, and repeated. "Accident."

Tatsuki stared at him shrewdly. She obviously had a lot to say since seeing him come out of the house, but with a quick glance at Katobeto, she stilled her tongue. Ichigo still wasn't too sure what her problem was, but he had an idea that she thought that he was taking advantage of Rukia.

…Because so was the _new_ transfer student and _so_ perfectly innocent and all.

…Hah.

Keigo and Mizuiro smiled smugly, they knew his excuse didn't wash. They had a few choice words for their buddy, too.

He didn't feel like turning to sample the stares of Ishida, Inoue and Chad, though.

He turned to the window angrily, trying to ignore her strangely comfortable weight on his shoulder…only to find that they had been climbing a mountain.

-----

_Words can't describe how much shit I am in. And when I think about it… this is rock bottom. It can't get any worse. _He tried to muster a scowl but failed, miserably. _He knows. He must know. That sick, twisted, sadistic quack of a teacher! He's figured out that…That I have a…crus—_no, it's stronger than that—_I have a…that I care—_

He scratched the back of his head with his free hand. _Damnit! _He thought angrily. His scowl was back. With it, he found his voice, harsh as it was. "Why the hell…are we at a Hot Spring?" He asked. "Huh? You son of a bi—TCH!" He said loudly, as Rukia's arm 'accidentally' hit his chin while she stretched.

Giving him a pointed glare, Rukia took in their surroundings…and swore fervently.

-----

"Why are we here?" Ichigo demanded again, outside the car now, and short of grabbing Katobeto by his shirt. Above him hung a sign with obscenely funny looking pink kanji. It read **_'Hidden Mirror Hot Springs'_** and Rukia found herself staring at the sign with everyone else. "Why?" Ichigo demanded again, pissed off, his words echoing Rukia's thoughts. _What purpose will it serve? Tell me, or I'll have an excuse to violently hurt you._

He said all that with body language. Ichigo can be quite eloquent when he wants to be.

He cast his glare to the others. Tatsuki and Ishida met him with a glare of their own, while Orihime, Chad, Keigo and Mizuiro seemed to avoid his gaze. Something was up…he narrowed on Chad. He was quite sure that Chad would tell him what the hell was going on, later.

Still grinning, Katobeto walked briskly into the house, obliviously leaving the simmering situation alone "Shigure! Shigure, are you there?" "'Gure!" Katobeto called, pushing his glasses up, and scanning the interior. "Where are you 'Gure?" Frowning, he stomped into the welcome hall. "GU—"

"…In the baths!" said a young man, dressed in a grey yukata. He pushed his wet, shaggy hair out of his eyes. "...Impatient as always, Uncle." He said, with a warm, though exasperated smile. He clapped both hands onto the shoulders of the shorter, older man, holding him at arms length. "Well. It's been…long." He said, and cringed, when Katobeto hugged him tightly.

"Why so formal!" Katobeto said laughingly. "You'll always be my little nephew—"

"Right…right…" Shigure managed. "Can't…breathe…"

"Oh."

Shigure offered a small reluctant smile. "My next guest has a reservation for next week. It'd be okay to let you use the place for a day or two."

Katobeto let an evil smile surface, and chuckled darkly. "Excellent." Shigure chuckled uneasily. As much as he loved his uncle, he would be the first to admit that he was a little…

…Looney.

"…How about introducing me?"

"Ah, yes. You know how teenagers are. These ones are especially hot-blooded."

Shigure nodded, following his uncle. "…I was one not too long ago, you know."

-----

"Students, this is the owner of this hot spring. He's my nephew, Souryu Shigure."

Exchanging bows and hello's, they wasted no time in asking questions about the Hot Spring. "Hold it, hold it." Katobeto chuckled. "There's still one thing that needs to be done." He pointed at Ichigo and Rukia. "These are the two."

Shigure appraised them silently. "Interesting…a little young to be married, in this day and age…when you said students I expected them to be…older…" His eyes narrowed on the two of them, and a sudden controlled surprise flashed, and disappeared.

Ichigo frowned. "We aren't." He glanced at Rukia, who seemed a little cowed at the whole situation. This time it was he who nudged her. "Right?"

Rukia blinked. "…We aren't?"

Everyone shot meaningful glances at Ichigo, and Katobeto smiled a cold smile.

He swallowed. "I guess I'm still getting used to the idea…after all, I was single for a very…very…long…you know." He managed lamely. _What the hell? Does everyone want this pretty boy to think we're married, or are they all brain-dead?_

"True, they are young aren't they?" Katobeto sighed fondly. "That's why I've taken a special interest in them. You know how marriage can be…I'd hate to see what it may do to two unprepared teenagers. Some have the fortune to be blessed when they marry young…and others…well…."

Shigure nodded, seemingly accepting his answer, yet as he straightened quickly, he glanced furtively at the 'married couple'. "Well, all right. How about a tour?" He asked over his shoulder, beckoning them through the arc, and into the enclosure leading to the main entrance.

Ichigo slowly turned to Rukia, and she opened her mouth to say something, but suddenly Tatsuki grabbed her arm. "Hey, Kuchiki-san! This way, this way! We don't get to hang out a lot you know."

Orihime nodded, smiling warmly. "Yup! There's a whole lot we want to ask you!"

Being led away, Rukia offered a helpless glance at Ichigo. He shrugged at her, what did she expect him to do? Watching the three girls inside, he felt an odd prickling at the back of his neck. Sure enough, as he turned around slowly, he met Keigo and Mizuiro's identical smiles.

"…What?" He asked testily.

-----

"Just wait a minute! Man, he was just kidding!" Mizuiro pleaded anxiously. "You know how Keigo shoots his mouth off! You gotta understand man, he didn't know what he was saying!" He turned to Keigo. "Right?"

Keigo struggled mightily against a snarling Ichigo. "…That's right!" He choked out.

Ichigo pulled his lips back into a snarl, wondering which part of Keigo he should dismember first. He had a feeling if he didn't do it now, he'd have to do it later.

…And now was better, when he hadn't said or done anything particularly bad yet.

A little to the side and somewhat detached, Ishida stared piercingly at Ichigo, wondering at the situation they were now in. _Well, they do seem an unlikely pair at first. Especially since Kuchiki is deceased, _he thought.

Ichigo released Keigo, catching Ishida's eye. He returned his gaze with one of challenge.

"I think we should head inside now," Ishida said, walking ahead. "And I suggest you don't provoke Kurosaki on his…marital status. It's bad luck to tease a newly-wed…" He added helpfully, and Ichigo could hear a smirk in his tone.

Chad blanched at this, and moved towards Ichigo to keep him from leaping at Ishida's back.

-----

"Wow…" was the general murmur that went round the group, as Shigure took them around the Hot Spring. The inn was built in an enclosure near the top of the mountain, and it was only open to members of the family, or those invited by a member of the family. The wood, though old, was dark and antique looking, and the inn only consisted of one building, built so that there was a large pond in the middle. The Hot Spring itself, Shigure explained, was in the back.

"In the back, huh?" Ichigo began, a little rudely. "What's so special about this place besides the architecture? Every famous Hot Spring has a special feature. What about this one?"

Shigure smiled complacently, and he took no offence at Ichigo's tone as he noted genuine curiousity behind it. "Well, one of them is the hot spring itself, but you'll see that soon enough. The other…" He glanced at Rukia, who was admiring earthenware with Orihime and Tatsuki, and then eyed everyone else. Ichigo noticed he only continued when Katobeto has his back turned. "Well, you may see that soon enough too." He whispered conspiratorially.

Ichigo's mood darkened. So there _was _something more to this 'little' excursion. _Chad. _He thought. _Chad will tell me…but I need to find some way of asking him…without everyone else knowing…_

"Well, that's it. Now…is anyone hungry…?" Ichigo and Rukia perked up at that. They hadn't had breakfast yet…

-----

"Whew. Thank you for the meal! It was wonderful!" Orihime said, finishing up.

Shigure laughed. "Ah, it was nothing. To be honest, when I was living with my two cousins, cooking became a fire hazard, and any food that wasn't burned was poison. But a good friend of ours taught me a few recipes, in the end. Anyway, the chef in charge of the place is on vacation. I guess I'll have to do."

"We could all help you." Chad offered.

Shigure shrugged. "Nah. I'd like to do it once in a while. She'd want me to. My friend, that is." He clapped his hands. "So, let's get the married couple into the bath first, huh?"

Ichigo choked on a piece of fish, and Rukia fumbled with her chopsticks, finally dropping them with a clatter. The table went silent. Shigure raised an eyebrow slyly. _Ah…_he thought. _Do I sense a couple in need of a push?_ "It's tradition," he continued. "And before you ask, there is a partitioned area…for privacy."

It was like Shigure had sprouted dog-ears and a tail, and everyone but Katobeto stared, open-mouthed at him.

"Shall we?"

-----

The sound of the changing room shoji door closing had the same effect of an executioner's axe. _I was wrong, _he thought, his mind completely numb. _There's bad, then worse…then rock bottom…and then a whole layer of shit, where you get a shovel and dig._

Suffice to say, he was digging.

Rukia seemed to be watching him carefully. "What now?"

"…I don't know." He sat on the bench.

"Well," She said, admiring the cabinet near the wall. "Better think of something."

Ichigo glared, annoyed. "Well, I don't know, Rukia. Do you WANT to go in there?"

She looked at him oddly. "Are you asking?"

Ichigo paused, taking a while to digest what she had just asked. "W-What…?"

Rukia turned around to hide a growing blush, fingering the engraving on one cabinet. "We can't back out, or else Souryu-san will figure out we're not married. And it's a tradition here. It's pretty obvious that this place is meant for newly-weds."

Ichigo fought to keep his voice from cracking. _God. Weakling! Get a hold of yourself, and say no!_ He shifted uneasily. "So…"

She sat opposite him, on another bench. "So…what?" She asked, adding that last part uncertainly.

Ichigo shrugged. "I don't…I mean, if there isn't any other way…" _What the hell are you doing? _A whiny voice asked. Another sharper voice went 'Quiet, fool.'

Rukia smiled, noting his uncertainty. She looked away quickly. "W-Well then…you s-strip first." She cursed her hesitation. She had to be confident.

All the blood drained from Ichigo's face. All of it, he was sure. He could feel it. "What?"

Rukia folded her arms irritably. "S-Strip. I won't look. I'm n—n—_Damn, _her mind muttered_—_not going in first." She was a child in the Soul Society, back then, but now…a sudden unexplainable sense of shyness came over her, as she watched Ichigo's incredulous expression. She would NOT get in first.

"…What?"

She glared. "A-And if you peek when I get in, I will really drown you this time." She could feel her voice strengthen, and it gave her heart. "I swear! After I break every bone in your body, I will drown—"

"Okay! OKAY! I won't, damnit!"

"Okay." She said.

"Okay." He stalled.

They paused.

Ichigo frowned. "Well, why _can't_ you go first?"

-----

"H-How is it?"

"…Not bad." He managed, trying and failing to keep a naked Rukia out…_not working._ He cried. _Out!_

"I'm coming in. T-Turn around."

"Great." He said, his voice deadpanned. _I have two little sisters. I have two little sisters…_

That won't work, he decides glumly. He can't see Rukia as a sister… _And she's older too…in more ways than one. I wonder-ARGH! NO, NO, NO!_

He sank lower, facing his back to the entrance. Control. He breathed in, noting the fumes that rose from the bath. _What is it? _He asked himself, taking another whiff. Some kind of bath scent probably. Lots of Hot Springs had this. Another whiff. …But not like this. It was…intoxicating. It gave him something to focus on, something to take his mind off—

"…It's…wonderful…"

Ichigo nearly turned around, but froze when a wooden clog flew an inch past his head. "I told you not to turn around!"

"Yeah, and I heard you! …Kami!" He muttered.

"…What do you mean 'not bad'?" She demanded, spellbound. "Have you looked around? Have you eyes?"

"Well…no. I mean, yeah, I got eyes!" He was too caught up with the fact that Rukia was getting into the same bath as him, and well, naked.

"Typical." She muttered. "Look, you dumbass."

Ichigo looked, and his breath caught. This had to be that special feature Shigure was talking about.

The bath was actually located in a small cave in the mountain. By the looks of it, they were near the top, the sprawling landscape beneath them. True, it wasn't a very big mountain, but it was a breathtaking view nonetheless, one of forest greens and blue mountain ranges. Their ceiling was the natural grey of the stone, large stalactites hanging down gave it a very natural look. Ichigo noticed that there was even some sort of sliding door, possibly to keep the rain out, or when the bath wasn't in use.

He jumped, hearing Rukia's voice a lot closer than he expected. "Great, huh? I never thought I'd get to see something like this." Ichigo nodded stiffly. Rukia sighed, relaxing into the water. "As long as you keep a couple of feet distance, and look that way, we can both enjoy the bath."

Ichigo frowned. _Hey wait a minute… _"How come you don't have to look away?"

Rukia tilted her head to glance at the back of his head, flushing as she stared at his back, going down, the shoulder blades, the muscles on his torso…_up. Look UP. _Her eyes snapped back to his head, as if she had accidentally looked at the sun, and her blush worsened. "B-Because."

"Because…?"

"Just do as I say and keep looking that way." She snapped. "And relax. We have the whole place to ourselves."

Ichigo growled out a-"Whatever bitch."-And sank into the water, moving to rest on a stone.

Rukia snapped a "Jerk" in reply before settling herself on a wall. She sighed, though not in relief, and watched him go out the corner of her eye. He'd been good so far. _In fact,_ she mused, _I'm the one who's been sneaking peaks._ She flushed. _Okay…but I'm not apologising. Hell no. I don't even know what he's so pissed off at. I didn't do or say anything wrong._

The little voice once again stressed the fact that she hadn't done anything wrong, and glumly, she moved to his position to talk to him.

-----

"RUKIA! What the hell are you doing!" Rukia stamped a fist down on his head, and he almost whimpered. She was out of the bath, kneeling behind him, wrapped in a towel, another one in her hand.

"I'm going to wash your back." It was more a statement than an explanation. "And, I'm wearing a towel." She watched his head turn back, and she twisted it forward viciously. "That doesn't mean you have to look!"

He jerked, feeling the wet towel and her hands on his back. "And you're doing this why?"

"Because…" '_Because' again._ He thought darkly. When was he ever going to understand what the hell was going through her head? "—Because I felt like it."

He blinked. "Felt like it?"

"Yeah." She said carefully, noting that the tension was seeping out his shoulders.

"Well, you can stop now." _'Cause if you keep doing that, I'm going to do or say something I don't want to do._ He stifled a groan when he felt her hands begin to massage his shoulders. "What…are you doing now?"

"Do you want me to stop?" She asked hesitatingly.

He shut his eyes tightly; trying to block out any thought, just the idea that Rukia was behind him, in a towel—"N-No."

"Y-you're—she tried to get her own voice under control—you're tense again." She accused.

"Okay, Okay." _I can't relax. I can't. Why is she doing this to me? Why am I letting her do this to me? Last night…_he swallowed. She had said…there was nothing to forgive…. He cleared his throat lightly. He was getting dizzy in here. Why?

"Ichigo…just because…I mean…I hope that you don't…when I hit you...you deserve it, you know." He was silent. She took a breath and continued. "And when I shout at you, it's because you're so…stubborn. Strong. That's just how you are I guess, but…" She swallowed. _You're babbling!_

"…So?"

"So…don't…" Rukia closed her eyes and let her hands travel from his back to past his neck. Her hands trembling, she ran them down his chest, her chin coming to rest on his shoulder. _Don't think, don't think, _she chanted. Ichigo's breath caught in his throat. He was stunned with the feel of her pressed against him, but only for a moment. He turned, wanting only to confirm her position with his eyes, and ended up kissing her on the cheek. And then on the neck. Then he turned around and, gently taking her face in his hands kissed her slowly but surely on the lips. Wrapping her hands around his neck Rukia surrendered, she melted into it, and just plain let go.

He couldn't help but murmur her name in between kisses, and she didn't resist when he pulled her, into the bath, gently, a voice in her head thanking god that the towel stayed on. She let out a moan, suddenly aware of his need, and she pushed against him for another kiss…

"Are you two done?" Called a voice. Breaking away, Rukia's fuzzy thought process recognised the voice to be from—

"Shigure." Ichigo muttered, his breath coming to him slowly. He pulled away slowly. "Uh. Yeah. We're getting out!" Despite his embarrassment, he couldn't help but glance at Rukia—

"Rukia?"

Her face was strained, and she seemed to have trouble breathing. She leaned against the wall, head down, but eyes on him. He asked again, failing to keep his anxiousness out. She was fine just now—

The smell. It was stronger. What was it…? Rukia's eyes seemed to widen, something akin to panic growing…. "Rukia! Rukia, are you—"

Rukia managed to shake her head, before moving towards him and collapsing in his arms.

He was vaguely aware of Shigure shouting.

_Tsuzuku_

The plot thickens.

And if Shigure is familiar to anyone, chances are he is.


	9. Friendship is a beautiful thing

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. And I don't own the mostly Shigure but not really Shigure either. Furuba 'Gure was just the character template, if you will.

Ala Yuuko: **_The people you meet in a previous world, in a different one, they could lead completely different lives…._**

But hey, don't read too much into it XD **Just a bit of fun for Furuba-fans**. To everyone else, he's just Shigure.

**To the Wind  
Chapter 9**  
_By Advent Wing_

"Hey. Are you okay?"

Orihime jerked out her reverie and turned her attention to Tatsuki's question. "Oh, I guess. I mean the place is nice and everything. But I would prefer it if—"

Tatsuki rolled her eyes. "No 'Hime. I meant about…Ichigo…and well…" She looked at her meaningfully.

Orihime laughed. "Why wouldn't I be okay?"

-----

_**Iiii** _

_**Waaant**_

_**Tooo**_

_**Feeeeed**_

He could feel it, dripping wet, thick and syrupy, like a tar soaked blanket. It was suffocating. It was suffocating him even as he carried Rukia out. It made him gasp for breath even when he knew he was well away from its influence. He didn't know what it was. He didn't care. He needed to get Rukia OUT. He needed to keep Rukia SAFE.

_God damn it! _He growled, running a hand through his hair in frustration, he'd never felt so god damn helpless since he became a Shinigami!

All he could think about was that she had to be okay, there's no way she couldn't be okay, and WHY the hell was his hands shaking so badly?

"She's going to be okay." Shigure breathed. "I checked her pulse earlier…it was less than stable…so why…" Ichigo glanced furtively at the door to the bath. Whatever the hell it was, it couldn't get past the bath. _Earthbound? _Ichigo mused. …_No Earthbound could do…whatever the hell it did._

Shigure grabbed Ichigo by the front of the shirt. "What happened?" He asked, his gaze insisting, intense.

Ichigo shook himself free, "Nothing. I don't know. Why don't you tell me?"

Shigure cocked his head to the side, a flash of…suspicion? "…Overheating. I suppose. It doesn't seem too serious. She's breathing easier already. Unless…?" Ichigo noted a flicker. The feeling when that he got whenever he was around Ishida. His eyes narrowed at Shigure.

"…Where's her room?"

-----

Rukia blinked.

"This is…"

_HeRe._

She whirled around. "Who's there?"

_i Am RiGht HeRe._

Rukia frowned. Couldn't be a Hollow…could it? Her phone hasn't rung in days. "Right where? Show yourself so I can properly punish you." Whatever this…thing…was…it had interrupted her time with Ichigo. It was only natural that it allowed her to vent her frustrations. A thought flitted across her mind, like a butterfly, wondering when she had gotten so open about her feelings for him.

She shook her head to clear it. That's right. Wasn't she supposed to keep her distance…?

_i Am RiGht HeRe._

She placed her hands on her hips. Despite herself, she shivered, and wrapped the bathrobe closer around her. Why was it so dark…?

_I've seen worse than whatever the living world has to offer._ She said, gritting her teeth.

A cold, wet, voice murmured in her ear.

_hAvE yOu nOw? _

She pivoted away on her right foot, bringing her left up—

…There was nothing.

Whispers shook her mind—

Rukia blinked.

"Oi. You okay?" Ichigo asked, peering down into her face.

"This is…?" A hand pressed to her forehead came away sweaty. Ichigo gently wiped her forehead with a wet towel.

"Souryu said you overheated—"

Rukia blushed furiously. _Of course I overheated. I don't think anyone could stand being in a bath doin—Wait. That's not why I fainted…is it? _She sat up quickly, intending to jump to her feet, but a sharp knife like pain immediately stabbed her head. "Ugh!"

Ichigo pushed her back onto the futon, livid. "What the HELL are you doing?"

Rukia wondered at his fierceness and creaked an eye open. "There was something there!"

He sighed wearily. "As I was saying. Souryu said you overheated…but there was more to it…wasn't there…? …And stop struggling bitch!"

Rukia settled down, but her eyes held that cold light…that blasted mask of death. He hated that look. He knew it was part of her…but…he much preferred her smiling…

He shook his head to clear it. She was really changing him…or was he always like this?

He shook his head again, in a negative. _No. _He decided. _No, I wasn't._

"You idiot." He muttered, slapping the wet towel onto her face.

Rukia glared, pulling the annoying uncomfortable weight off her face, indignantly. She sat up, a little slower this time. "Was it my fault I fainted? I'm so low on spiritual power, I bet that a lieutenant would make me fain—"

She paused. "Ichigo…"

"What?"

Rukia lay back down, staring at the ceiling. "That reiatsu…did you feel it?"

"Reiatsu? Spiritual power?"

"Yeah. Did you feel it?"

"I don't know. What does reiatsu feel like?"

Rukia resisted the urge to smack him. "Never mind…you felt something…right?" He nodded. "The point is that such strong reiastu shouldn't exist in this world!" She frowned thoughtfully. "And it was tainted…"

Ichigo eyed her. "Hollow?"

She wondered at that. "Maybe…ah!" She clutched her head, quickly.

Ichigo leaned her back down. "You know…I was wondering. There were two really distinct smells in the bath."

Rukia fixed him with a level stare. He expounded quickly. "I mean, there was one that was there when we first went in…and I think it was there when we…" Rukia flushed.

"…Go on." She managed.

"—And there was another when you fainted. It was…strange. Sick. Like a…like someone dumped a bucket of slime on me. It was filling my nostrils, I could taste it…my eyes burned…" He blinked, realizing that he had been rambling. "Yeah. So that shit was there, and it sure as hell wasn't what I smelt before."

_Another previous smell? Could it have been…a bath scent? Maybe an herb that Souryu-san uses…? _She paused. _We'll have to check it out. Ask Souryu-san about any legends…or deaths…_

Ichigo suddenly stood up. Every stride one of irritation, he grabbed a long stemmed lamp, and, hefting it like a weapon, slid the shoji door open with a bang. Keigo and Mizuiro sat, cowering. Chad, Ishida, Orihime and Tatsuki blinked at him, a few feet away.

Ichigo slammed the lamp into his palm, not amused.

Keigo began first, and that was enough. "Er. Hi there. How's the Mrs?"

A sharp "OW" and the slamming of a shoji door was enough to make everyone else wince in sympathy. "There, there." Mizuiro said comfortingly, somewhat put off that Keigo would cry so easily and so often.

Tatsuki sighed. "Do we still go through with it?" She asked Orihime.

-----

Rukia frowned disapprovingly. "That wasn't very nice."

"Oh?" Ichigo said, tossing the used lamp to the side. "I actually feel that what I did was pretty lenient."

Rukia's scowl deepened. "You don't have to solve everything with your fists."

Ichigo grunted. "Oh yeah? Well, you sure talk big. Is smacking me the universal language for 'shut up, please'? Sometimes I wonder how the hell I put up with someone like YOU." He regretted the words the second they came out.

Rukia flushed angrily, and more than a little hurt. _I told him that I hit him for a reason…and not to…not to… _"Asshole! You insensitive unfeeling asshole!" She hissed, turning around to face somewhere other than Ichigo.

There was a pause no more than a heartbeat. Ichigo ran a hand through his hair in frustration. _Damnit! It wasn't her goddamn fault she fainted! It wasn't her fault that she made you scared…_

He glanced guilty at her back. A_nd you can't hold her at fault for making you feel…the way you do…_

"I'd appreciate it if you could leave me in peace."

Ichigo sighed. _Shit._

The bowl of water, towels, and other various medical items, caught her eye, long enough to prevent her from noticing Ichigo until he had plopped down next to her again. He passed her a cup of water, adding a little powder into it.

The mixture fizzed ominously. "Drink."

Her hesitation was evident. "Would you like me to use words you could understand? How about, leave me the fuck alone?" She growled lowly.

Ichigo maintained his frown. "Drink it and I'll go." Ichigo tried to support her back with one hand. She knocked it away. "…My dad's a doctor, remember? You need this to re-hydrate." He said, after moving back to sit against the wall.

"…How long was I out?" She asked, still not touching the drink, and not looking at him, either.

Ichigo tried to shrug nonchalantly, but found the movement surprisingly straining. "Dunno. An hour. Maybe more than that." _Damnit. I was fucking worried, Rukia...! _"...I was a little worried." He mumbled.

Rukia sighed. "Worried huh?" She said dryly. He tried to shrug again. She was a little taken back at how doting he was being. _Taken back…and more than a little flattered…_

How the heck was SHE supposed to put up with this guy? He yo-yoed between sweet and doting, and rough and callous.

She drank it, suddenly realizing how thirsty she was. "I don't think I…'overheated'." She commented after she finished.

"I'm sure you did." He contradicted.

"Oh please. You know that wasn't the reason I fainted." She said. "It must have been that tainted reiatsu."

"No, but overheating was probably one of the reasons." He replied. "The heat made you vulnerable."

Rukia bit her lip, her cheeks feeling warm. _Well, I have to admit, it is an interesting explanation for…vulnerability…_

She sighed. _How is it that we can-_She flushed, recalling their earlier passion. _Be like that, and still let our walls come between us…? It's frustrating. _

_Yeah? _Called a sharp voice._ What about your 'walls', you hypocrite? _

She noted his frequent glances. _Amber._ She decided. _His eyes are a shade close to amber._ "You know…" She began, tilting her head to the side. "I'm out for a few minutes and you show your violent side again."

Ichigo retorted with a glare. "Like hell. I'm…always…you should know. This is me." _Yeah. A violent moody jerk. This is what you want to be._ A mutinous voice murmured.

Rukia's smile turned a little sad, and then suddenly, coy, which made the hairs at the back of his neck stand up. "No…" She said, softly. "You take on a very meek quality…during…certain times." She left it at that, but he had a feeling about which 'certain times' she was hinting at. "Like at night…and in the morning…"

Hey. Okay. Stop RIGHT there. Like hell I do! He backed away, casually, just as casually as she advanced. He sniffed, his nostrils filled with something…familiar…Not Rukia. He decided. She smells a little different. Probably been mixing the shampoos again… Or maybe it's just her. His cheeks warmed a little bit, the previous scent forgotten.

"And I noticed something else." She said, a note of surprise on her face. She frowned thoughtfully; reluctantly drawing up the few times they were in close proximity. "If my memory serves me right…" Her smile widened. "You blush easily…" _This is getting too fun. _She decided.

Ichigo stared. "Okay. You've lost it!" He could hear his heartbeat climbing, despite his loud and jeering tone, which really was meant to counter his growing feeling of unease.

Rukia dragged a finger across his face, just below his eyes. "You're exasperating. How can you be so sweet at times, and manage to be so…rough?" _My voice is shaking… _"And you can't hide it from me…" She continued. "So why do you have to hide it from others?" Suddenly closing the distance she pressed her forehead against his.

"There," she whispered, watching his face heat up. "See?" _What now?_ She wondered, the situation firmly in her hands, her own face heating up perceptibly. _Should I—_

He suddenly pushed her away, and she was barely at arms length when the shoji door slid open, in a controlled, decidedly resolute manner.

It was with zeal that Tatsuki and Orihime marched into the room, both with determination etched in their features. With quick, and prompt movements, they picked Rukia up and hoisted her over their heads. And, like a strange little well tuned machine, they marched right out.

Ichigo closed his mouth experimentally. It dropped right back down.

-----

"Well. Now what?"

"Now, nephew, we wait."

"You know," Shigure said, pouring more tea into Katobeto's cup. "Those two are pretty…green…to be married. Were they forced?"

Katobeto grinned. "In a way."

Shigure sighed. "Hmm. Too bad. They don't make a bad couple, and it is evident that there are some deeper feelings…" He recalled the look of the one with the beached hair. _That one was especially protective._

Katobeto sipped slowly, enjoying the tea. "…What happened in the bath?"

Shigure stiffened. He doubted that his Uncle had any knowledge of the spirit world, but they were family, after all. It could all be in the bloodline. "Overheating."

Katobeto nodded. "I see."

"If I may ask, Uncle, why bring them out here?"

"Well, I decided that one week is…inadequate…to prove one of my theories." _You have more than one? _Shigure asked silently. "I have to prove that Home Economics, if done using my teaching methods, will properly prepare a student for the stress he or she may encounter later on…and to do that, these two are proving to manage stress levels that would normally…" He coughed. "Well. Would normally be unhealthy." He smiled. "I don't know whether it is natural ability, or possibly—"

Shigure sighed. There he was about Home Ec again…he didn't know whether to admire his Uncle for his clear cut dedication to his goal, or condemn him for the way he manipulated his students.

"…But I primarily wanted to sample your Hot Spring again. It's not often I get to come here you know. Ever since I took your cousin for that Flower Arrangement Course. Why—"

Shigure blanched. A loon. He was a loon.

-----

"Girls night out…or something." Mizuiro decided.

Keigo shrugged. "What I want to know is when they're going to go to the bath."

Ichigo shot a glare in his direction, away from the game he was playing. "Why?"

Keigo winked, "Well, you see—" he began, until Mizuiro clamped his hand over the mouth of his not-so-bright friend.

"—We want to make sure our times don't clash. Unlike you and Kuchiki-san, we haven't had a chance to enjoy the bath…and unlike you and Kuchiki-san, we have to be careful that we don't walk in on each other's—" A very nice looking wooden trinket smashed into his face.

Chad watched, bemused, and managed to comment: "I heard that these Hot Springs are good for you."

Ichigo glowered at Keigo and Mizuiro, but then glanced to Chad. "Oh? I've heard that too. What does it do?"

Chad paused. There were generally nine types of springs, each with a different mineral, or a combination of minerals…they could vary with effects; a mineral for skin, another for aches, another for—

"They help keep you healthy." He said. Ichigo groaned.

"Don't be lazy to explain, Chad!" He said. Chad shrugged.

"Don't think you can stall, Kurosaki. I'm winning."

"Cheh." Ichigo muttered, turning back to the game board. "I don't even need to pay full attention to beat you at Go."

Ishida sighed, pinching his forehead. _I don't even know why I bothered to ask you._ "So you say."

Ichigo picked up a black piece with his index and middle finger, placing it to capture a few of Ishida's white. "Hey. Ishida. Do you sense something…strange about this place?" He muttered.

Ishida countered Ichigo's amateurish move quickly. "No."

"Well, keep it in mind if you go to the baths. And be careful." He grinned. "Pass."

Ishida sighed. "You have a move here, Ichigo."

Ichigo grinned wider. "Oh. Right." He placed the piece down, and Ishida blinked. _Shit. I'm surrounded. Bloody amateurs._

-----

"Shoubu!"

"Uno, Rukia. Uno."

Rukia moaned, hanging her head dejectedly. _I keep forgetting the word…_ "Right. Uno."

Orihime laughed. "It's okay. Lot's of people forget." She bit her lip. It seemed that she'd run out of red cards.

Tatsuki sighed, realizing that she had to take a card too. "No, they don't." She smiled at Rukia. "But you catch on quickly. You sure you've never played this before?"

Orihime nodded. "You could've have beaten us three times in a row by now. You should have seen Ishida when we played while you were in the bath." She giggled. "Kept going on and on about how Go as better."

Rukia smiled, picturing the Quincy flustered and losing. "I guess so…I'm not so good at card games. Ichigo taught me a game called poker…"

Orihime smiled at the familiarity. "You're very close to Kurosaki-kun now, aren't you Rukia-chan?"

Tatsuki made a quick choking sound, and Rukia blinked, shocked. "E-Excuse me?"

Orihime blinked. "Um, I mean…we…not in that way…I think. I mean, you two are always…er…close…and you call each other by your first names…and…"

"What Hime is trying to say is, do you…you know…have any feelings for him?"

Rukia blushed. _I guess I blush easily too…_ "Well…" _Do I…? _She asked. _I know he makes me feel content every time we're together…and I know that my insides turn into Hell Butterflies when he leans in close…we know each other's secrets. We know each other's fears…_

Tatsuki sighed, a small smile on her face. "Not sure?" She leaned back, placing the cards on the floor.

Rukia looked between them. "I…there are…reasons…why I can't…" _And it's okay to kiss him? It's okay hold him close? It's okay to wish that nobody would interrupt, that he would whisper in your ear and tell you that he—_Rukia let out a small mirthless laugh. "Wait…he can't like me." She said, suddenly.

Tatsuki raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"I…he just can't." _I brought blood into his world. I brought pain. I brought responsibility. Me. Sure he might have never found out who killed his mother, but such a small price…_

_He'd be better without me._

Orihime coughed, wringing her hands behind her back. "Kurosaki-kun didn't smile as much as he does now, you know."

Rukia snapped out of it. "Huh?"

"He didn't. But I guess Tatsuki is a better person to tell you…"

Tatsuki hesitated. She seemed to be…gauging her. "I…don't know want to tell you what Ichigo should tell you…but…if you…"

Rukia had a fair idea about what it may be. "Is it about his mother?"

Tatsuki stared in incomprehension. "He told you?"

Rukia managed a small smile. "Kinda." She sighed, remembering his memory of the rain, the common hurt that bound them together. "I'd rather we not talk about it."

Tatsuki breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. Neither do I. The point is that Ichigo hasn't…really opened up to anyone, lately. I barely know him anymore, if it weren't for our parents, I wonder if I could even call him Ichigo." She had averted her eyes at that.

"Don't say that!" Rukia said angrily. "Childhood friends…they have a bond…that's really hard to break…but if you try, it hurts both sides—" She swallowed. _Like Renji and I._

Tatsuki was a little taken back at her outburst, but she grinned a heartbeat later. "Thanks…Rukia."

Orihime placed a hand on her shoulder. "The point is, don't hold back on Ichigo…he's never acted this way before. He's happy."

"He's happy because of you."

-----

"Hey, Chad." Ichigo began, as Ishida rooted around Shigure's closet for entertainment. Chad turned his attention away from Keigo and Mizuiro. They were pouring over a map of a building…

"What?" He asked.

"Tell me what Katobeto-yarou has in store for me."

Chad paled. "Ah. That is…" He paused. "It's pretty bad."

Ichigo facefaulted. "Damnit Chad! This is important."

"...I know. I can't tell you."

Ichigo growled. "C'mon!"

Chad raised his hands in a non-offensive manner. "He said it wouldn't kill you. It might even…help you." He looked a little unsure on that.

Ichigo sighed. "You did something stupid like give your word, ne?"

Chad frowned. "That isn't stupid, Ichigo."

"I know, I know!" He blew out a breath in exasperation, scratching his head. "I know…."

"Hey. He's got a console. A PS2." Ishida said, drawing their attention.

Ichigo perked at that. "Really?"

Ishida nodded. "Yeah." He popped a game in quickly. "Care for a fighting game, Ichigo? It's 2D."

-----

_What's with this guy and challenging me?_ Ichigo groused. _First it's Go. Then it's Chess. Then it's this. What's next? Monopoly?_

"I'm winning."

"Like hell you are!"

"Right. I'm giving you, hell." Ishida retorted, finishing Ichigo with a quick low kick.

"Freaking hell!" He exclaimed. "How dirty can you get?"

Ishida glared. "You had next to nothing left. Why should I waste my time being flashy when I can just kick you in the—"

"ONE MORE!"

-----

"…Hey. Kurosaki." Ishida asked, waiting for the match to load.

"What?"

"Are you planning on building a long term relationship with Kuchiki?"

Ichigo's involuntary clenching nearly crushed the black controller with one hand. The match began. _Okay, _he muttered, _that was unexpected._

"Why the hell is it your business?" Ichigo asked, urging his character towards Ishida's character aggressively.

"From the way you sidestep the question, I suppose the answer is yes?" Ishida's character hopped over Ichigo's character's head, all grace.

"Does it matter what the fuck the answer is? It's none of your business." Ichigo cursed. Why the hell was Ishida so good?

"Kuchiki is a Shinigami. Some day, she'll have to—"

"—Shut UP." Ichigo's character whacking Ishida's for a considerable amount of damage.

"Fine. You don't what to talk about it. That tells me a lot, you know."

Ichigo set the controller down, running a hand through his hair; exasperated. "Why do you care?"

Ishida did the same with his. He frowned thoughtfully, habitually adjusting his glasses. He then picked it up to load another match. "I don't." He said, finally. "But if you want to talk, I'd probably be the only person you'd be able to talk to."

"Cheh." Ichigo muttered scathingly, as he mulled the result of the previous round in his head.

…It'd been a while since he'd seen a double K.O.

-----

Keigo snickered.

Mizuiro snickered.

Chad stared, then coughed politely. "Are you two going to do…what I hope you aren't going to do?"

The scheming duo jumped into the air, eyes wide and fearful. "Heck no! I mean…what did you think we were going to do?"

Chad glanced at the map suspiciously. "Map of the building?"

"Fine architecture, no?" Mizuiro tried.

Chad sighed heavily. "Don't do it. You'll die. They'll kill you."

Keigo shook his head. "Not if they don't catch us!" Mizuiro knocked him smartly on the head.

Chad shrugged. He'd be watching them.

"Hey, Keigo…I don't know…should we be doing this…?"

Keigo glanced, open-mouthed in shock, at his fellow conspirator. A finger sped out; it's point a rapier. "You cur! You've sold us out!"

Mizuiro shook his head vigorously. "No, no! It's just…" He glanced around. "Every guy of our genre does it sometime or another. Shouldn't we…" He threw up his arms. "I don't know. Try our best to break out of the stereotypical image that so many shounen characters have been placed under that it has become the rule, no, I'd even say that for guys like us to spy on our _friends_ in a Hot Spring has become a programmed decis—"

"Tatsuki-san. Kuchiki-san. _Inoue-san_." Keigo said, placing stressing each as he listed them down.

Mizuiro shrugged. "Momentary lapse of sanity."

-----

He was in the baths, fully clothed. It was a little before dinner, and as usual, the sunset would be spectacular. Gold and crimson coming together to create a rich tapestry of colour and life….

With a sigh, and practiced movements, Shigure made his way to a small corner of the baths, placing a small ornate mirror in a stand.

It was old.

He waited, watching.

And then he sniffed experimentally.

"Gone…"

_Tsuzuku_

-Celebrates-

I'm very worried about putting anything in the author's notes now, or in fact, mentioning names and whatnot.


	10. Passion

Disclaimer and notes: No. I don't own Bleach.

The fighting game was Guilty Gear XX. The best 2D fighting game in existence.

Ah. Which I don't own either.

So here's to ten. Pay attention, it's easy to get lost here XD

**To the Wind  
Chapter 10**  
**_By Advent Wing_**

Rukia couldn't help but giggle. It's been too long since her full completely true laugh, although she's probably done one or two in Ichigo's presence. She checked herself mentally. Maybe more than one or two.

She smiled fondly at the two girls. _It's been a while since I had company like this…_ She amended herself quickly. _Not that Ichigo or AI-san is bad company…_ Her thoughts travelled a bit, taking in Tatsuki's tales and quietly appreciating their presence._ It's just that…sometimes it is nice being able to be open with someone._

"Is Souryu-san done with the baths?" Orihime asked, hopefully. She wanted to get all she could from them before they could go.

Tatsuki, wondering herself, stood up with a stretch "I'll check it out." She said, waving Orihime back into a sitting position when she tried to get up.

Under normal circumstances, Rukia wouldn't mind being left alone with Orihime. _So why,_ she asked herself, with an unexplainable pull in her gut, _why do I wish she left with Tatsuki?_

The silence was growing oppressive. She was growing desperate. What was wrong with being alone with Orihime? What was the difference between three and two?

_What the hell am I doing? Strike up a conversation!_ She cried furiously. What did she know about Inoue that the two of them could talk about? Every fibre of her being wanted to slip on that happy-go-lucky persona she uses at school, but it would seem…

_Wrong_. She decided. _It just doesn't seem right anymore…_

"Your math grade is improving, huh?" Orihime began softly, as if subdued by the silence.

Rukia set upon the question tentatively, feeling a sense of relief cut through the sick bog of anxiety. "Well, I managed a D last test…Ichigo has been…" She bit off her words, his name popping up in the conversation was a little unsettling. Why? "Well…"

Orihime smiled. _Sometimes you talk about the one you like when you don't want to_. She reflected. _Am I…was I like that?_ "I don't know much about you, Rukia-san. You're usually very quiet."

Rukia blinked. "I am?" She had always tried her best to be loud and amiable at school. What went wrong?

Orihime smiled at her confusion. "Well, you don't eat with us most of the time, you don't talk to anyone about family or your hometown…"

Rukia paled. "F-family…? Hometown?"

Orihime nodded. "F A M I L Y. You know," she giggled. "The people who you live with?"

Rukia swallowed. "Well…they're…back in…I mean…they're abroad…so…" Rukia managed a small nervous smile, at Orihime's innocently curious appearance. "W-well…I have an older brother…"

Orihime broke into a grin. "That's wonderful! I had one too."

"…He's…left this world…?" Rukia asked, remembering that she wasn't supposed to know.

"Yes. Actually. A while ago." She paused. "But what about yours?"

"…Oh…" She struggled to describe him. "He…he's very refined."

Orihime cocked an eyebrow. "Has Kurosaki-kun met him?"

Rukia went sheet white. "Kami forbid it."

"Oh…that's too bad. Is your brother a hard person to get along with?"

_Okay. I don't like where this conversation is headed._ "I suppose…"

"…Is one of the reasons why you can't be with Ichigo your brother?"

Rukia felt something grow cold inside. Something wretched, and twisting, and alive. _That's right. Yet another reason why I can't be with him. _

_Never thought about it before?_ Said a nasty voice. _Oh, please! You knew that the two of you were from different worlds even before the moment you laid eyes on him._

It wasn't that she had never thought of it before… She had just…accepted that no matter what she said or did, she couldn't change it…and that was that. It was like a stubborn itch, but she would scratch it, and it's go away…

_My. I've changed…_

Noting the wretched look on Rukia's face, Orihime clapped her hands suddenly. "Hear that?"

"…Hear what?" Rukia asked, suddenly unbalanced.

"That's the sound of Tatsuki running to tell us that—"

"—BATH'S READY!" Tatsuki cried, excitedly, slamming the shoji door open.

-----

_Oh, the cleverness of me._ Keigo had thought about inviting Ichigo, but he seemed to be busy with Ishida.

Ah. Let's not forget that he was too far whipped by his 'wife' to be of any help.

…come to think of it, he never helped. Ever.

Chad…

"Looks like it's just you and me." Keigo said, doing his best impression of a macho hero out of a kill-em-all blockbuster. He even had the 'set-jaw-of-determination™'. He hefted half their equipment in one hand, and tossed the rest to Mizuiro.

His partner in crime, in the meantime was pondering what kind of pain Tatsuki alone could inflict, should they be caught, while plucking at the sparkles that radiated from his partner. _We go where angels fear to thread, _he sighed.

_But hey, what about Inoue? If she's anything, she's a bright side! _He argued, allowing his mind to wander.

It snapped back quickly when a strangely believable vision of Miss 'Bright side' taking Karate lessons from Miss 'Dark side' walked over to meet him.

He paled.

And Kuchiki?

He nearly laughed this time. She was such a demure little girl. He couldn't see her beating the crap out of either of them.

How wrong he was.

-----

"Uh…Keigo…" Mizuiro began. "I don't think that…"

Keigo shushed him, winding the pulley around a tree. "If the rope breaks, it's okay. We'll land on the ledge. I studied the blueprints carefully, you know."

Mizuiro groaned, taking a quick glance at the cliff, and feeling a strong sense of vertigo wash over him. "…That's great." He continued. "We have a choice between Tatsuki's fists or those sharp and pointy rocks down there."

Keigo just nods his head; his mind is already lost to what he may see in the next hour. "That's right, we do have a delectable choice…I think I'll decide when we get there…"

-----

"So," Ichigo began. "They've been missing for…15 minutes?"

Ishida nodded, his face impassive. He didn't really hear him, he was loading yet another match. "One more."

Ichigo made a motion to put the controller down. "I'm going to look for them."

Ishida's stare was so filled with animosity that even Ichigo had to pause. He spoke in a low tone, eyes hidden behind his glasses. "One…more…" He repeated.

Ichigo shook his head, and placed the controller on the table, noting that Ishida had started to growl.

"There are groups for people like you." Ichigo muttered, backing away slowly, and then turning away quickly to find Chad.

-----

Rukia glanced around suspiciously. _Hmmm…I sense nothing…but…_

"Rukia! OI! Hurry up!" Tatsuki called. She was already neck deep in the water and enjoying it immensely. Orihime was at the cave entrance, admiring the view, awestruck.

"It's…incredible here…" She whispered, her hair up, watching the flight path of three black-tailed birds. She turned to Rukia. "It's really beautiful…"

Rukia smiled, deciding it was safe. She slowly inched her way in, keeping her senses alert for even a glimmer of reiatsu. She felt an unfamiliar pang of envy when she saw their figures—_What's the point in feeling jealous? _She asked her self irritably. _Curves won't help me cleanse hollows, and besides, Ichigo doesn't seem to—_

She blinked, suddenly realizing that they were staring at her. "…Er…did I…do something wrong?"

Orihime playfully splashed her. "Did you really get in the bath with Kurosaki-kun?"

Rukia flushed darkly, and turned away to mask it. "…Are you two that interested—"

"—Yes!" They laughed simultaneously.

"Well…"

Tatsuki grinned. "Start from the first night you two were at the house and we'll run from there."

-----

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE, KEIGO!" Mizuiro wailed.

Keigo looked up, shocked. "The hell? Get a hold of yourself!"

Mizuiro sniffled, his eyes big pools of shiny blue. "B-But…there are still so many women that haven't had the chance to meet me…!" He shook his head. "I can't do this, Keigo! I'm sorry but I just—"

Keigo smacked Mizuiro across the face with a backhanded blow, sending him spiralling to the floor.

Mizuiro blinked, clutching his nose. "OW! Keigo…" He cried nasally.

"Listen, Mizuiro! Listen!" Mizuiro was instantly pacified. "Do you know what's down there?" Keigo asked harshly.

Mizuiro looked like he wanted to say something, probably about pain and suffering but he was cut off sharply.

"NO! You do NOT!" Keigo roared.

He turned around to stare at the edge. "That is not death, comrade! That is the path to light! To Glory! The very essence of what guys like us strive for!" Mizuiro didn't open his mouth this time. Keigo continued.

"How many of us succeed? Out of the many who try, how many reach Paradise, how many reach Valhalla?" His gaze swept back to Mizuiro. "Too few, brother, too few."

With purposeful strides, Keigo went back to tying the knots. "To give up now…would be dishonouring to our noble brothers, who have tried and failed, and to our heroes, who have succeeded!" He paused. "Leave if you must. I will not have the unwilling live…or die with me."

Mizuiro choked back a new sob. "Keigo. That was beautiful—!"

Keigo turned around to pat Mizuiro on the back. "Be strong."

-----

"…And then, we cooked breakfast." Rukia groaned at their expectant faces. "Yes, together!"

-----

"Is everything ready?"

"Yes, I double checked all the ropes, the gear, the harnesses…where'd you get all this stuff?" Mizuiro asked.

"Souryu-san mentioned that some guests enjoy rappelling. This is the gear used to do it."

"I see…so…this rappelling…have you ever done it before?"

"No."

"Oh. Okay…" He coughed to hide his nervousness.

"But first…" He kneeled, clasping his hands in front of him. Mizuiro hesitantly did the same. "I send a prayer for our friend, Kurosaki Ichigo, who unfortunately, is no longer with us."

Mizuiro nodded in understanding. He closed his eyes solemnly. "Ichigo. So young." He sighed. "So naïve. Gone before seeing what the world had to offer him…"

"Oh, he could have gone far. Oh, fate…why? Why must you disregard him?" Keigo seemed to shudder, and then drawing himself up, he brushed away unshed tears. "This is for you, Ichigo! We two are on to better things now!"

-----

"A—_choo_!"

"Cold?" Chad asked.

Ichigo shook his head, rubbing his nose. "Dunno…something probably irritated me…"

"…You do mean your nose?"

Ichigo shrugged. "Well—"

"They aren't in their room." Ishida observed.

Ichigo scowled. "If they aren't in their rooms…"

"Then…the baths…?" Ishida suggested, tentatively.

Chad ahemed; it didn't take a PHD to figure out what those two were up to. "…The girls are having a bath now." The way he said it; it was more of a statement, than anything else.

He watched the realization bloom on their faces.

-----

"It's…a long way down…" Mizuiro muttered. "A very…very, long way down."

Keigo, lowering himself with almost frantic speed, ignored him. "I can hear them talking…!"

"S-Slower, Keigo! Slower!" Mizuiro cried, trying to keep up but also wishing his knees would solidify. _Don't look down…_ His foot caught on a rock, and he winced. _Okay. Look where you're going, but don't look down. …Is that even possible?_

Keigo glanced down, noting a smooth white marble edge peeking out. "That's it!" He said, lowering himself slowly. "C'mon! We're nearly there!"

-----

"Okay. Wait. WAIT. Damnit Ichigo! WAIT!" Ishida grabbed Ichigo by the front of his yukata. He was met by a smoulderingly fiery glare.

"Now…I know your plan is probably to run in there demanding for Keigo and Mizuiro to show themselves. When they do, because you plan to be terrifying enough to make them squeal, you're probably going to rip them apart and beat their heads in with their own limbs." Ichigo blinked, because that was EXACTLY what he was thinking of doing. "However," Ishida continued. "I have no intention of running in there, because before we even start to explain why we're intruding on Inoue-san and the rest, we'd probably be dead."

Ichigo glared. "Then what do you suggest?"

He shrugged. "We inform Kato—"

"No."

Ishida growled. "You didn't even hear what I was going to say!"

"No. Any plan that starts with that screwball's name is bound to be _crap_." Ichigo snorted.

"…This is exactly what you always do. You just want to run in and hack stuff up with your—"

"What the hell! It's better than your pansy ass style of running off to get a better shot!"

Ishida snarled. A Quincy's fighting style is not to be mocked. "Oh, okay, since you mentioned it, I bet I could put five arrows through your stomach before you even had a chance to—"

Chad sighed. He didn't even get half of what they were saying.

…Some game, perhaps?

-----

"…And then we made up and we—we went to sleep." She was sure she was blushing, though in the bath, she couldn't really tell. Staring into the rising steam, she began to wonder, if Ichigo had really felt the way she felt then…

_What are you? _Asked a scandalized voice. _Are you not a Shinigami? Control yourself!_ Screw you, she decided. When she thought about it…it was justice. She had teased Ichigo about his bashfulness, but in the end…

Orihime and Tatsuki frowned. "That's it?" They asked in perfect unison.

"Yes!" Rukia answered loudly.

"Okay, what about today, in the baths."

"And why are you always on his case anyway? Just asking." She added quickly. _Change the subject, please?_

Tatsuki frowned, caught off balance. "Well…it's because I was worried that he might have…er…but that was stupid of me." She said, sneaking a hasty glance at Orihime. Orihime nodded her head in reply. Tatsuki sighed. Well, it wasn't like she could just say 'I was pissed off because he didn't go for my best friend'. A little white lie would be okay…

Besides, if Orihime supported Rukia…

_What about you? Do you support Rukia?_ Tatsuki reeled at the thought…then thinking back, smiled. Ichigo needed Rukia, not a childhood friend…

-----

"They won't die." Ishida said, peering at the marble ledge FAAAAAR below them. Quincy skills were not only useful in battle…his eyesight was sharp. Ironic, considering he wore glasses. "IF they fall, they'll be able to grab onto a ledge down there."

"That's really too bad." Ichigo muttered. "I want them to die."

Chad made a noise of disapproval as he examined the ropes, arms folded. "If we head back we can still warn the girls."

Ishida smiled creepily. "No…I like my plan," he declared, peering over the edge to watch two figures lower themselves further down the jagged rock cliff.

He turned back to Ichigo. "Don't you?"

-----

"Keigo."

"What?" Keigo asked, finally irritated with all of his questions.

"The rope. It won't go any further." There was a hint of curiosity in his voice.

Keigo looked between the cave entrance right below him, and his friend hanging above him. He sighed. "Hold on, I'm coming."

Mizuiro suddenly felt a sharp tug, and then he dropped a few feet. "Whoa!" He frowned thoughtfully and squinted at the cliff above him, where the roped led. "Hey Keigo I think that—WOOOAAAA!" He exclaimed, suddenly plunging further downward.

"NO! Mizuiro! That's too far!" Keigo cried, before he too, was suddenly dropped downward.

-----

"Okay?" Ichigo asked Ishida from his position on the pulley.

Ishida nodded, a grim look on his face. "You reap what you sow." Ichigo halted the pulley.

_Wait a god damn minute._

"Ishida! You dumbass! The whole goal was to prevent them from spying on Ruk—on the girls!"

Ishida cocked an eyebrow in incomprehension. "We did that."

"No we didn't," Ichigo said, grabbing Ishida's shirt. "We HELPED them!"

Ishida seemed to mull it over, then shrugged. "They'll be punished adequately."

"THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT!"

Chad, peering over the edge, almost shuddered. Tatsuki terrified him. The fact that she had given lessons to Orihime was even more terrifying.

And he wasn't blind. He could see what Rukia did to Ichigo when she thought nobody was looking.

He didn't envy Keigo and Mizuiro.

No, actually, he wished he had caught them sooner.

-----

"This…is…heaven…" Murmured Tatsuki luxuriously. "I could seriously stay here all day…"

Orihime would have agreed, if she weren't asleep. Tatsuki rolled her eyes and splashed her playfully. Sputtering, Orihime woke up. "Tatsuki!" She exclaimed accusingly.

Tatsuki grinned. "You would have drowned."

Rukia smiled. "It's not a good idea to—"

She stared. At the cave entrance, Keigo and Mizuiro hung from their ropes like living, breathing…piñatas.

Both parties couldn't believe that the other was there.

Keigo was the first to recover from the initial shock. "I can die happy." He said solemnly.

Mizuiro was next, quickly deciding that he believed in God, and that he needed a favour.

"Oh God in heaven…"

-----

Keigo and Mizuiro were unable to join the dinner that night. Shigure didn't ask why, neither did Ichigo and the rest. Katobeto-san mentioned them briefly, but a frosty glare from the three girls, and a nervous one from the other guys, were enough to silence even him.

After all, he was mad, not suicidal.

Ichigo really wanted to ask Rukia if they had gotten a peek, for reasons that even he didn't really understand yet.

What he WAS sure of was that if she said YES, he'd take their bodies from where the girls had left them hanging, and throw them off the cliff. The grim and satisfied looks they wore were reason enough to keep his mouth shut, though.

Conversation was strained until Shigure began to keep everyone entertained with tales of previous guests.

It was during one such tale of a volatile couple that Rukia had remembered that she needed to ask about the bath.

"The baths?" Shigure asked, laughing. "Has anyone died in my baths…?" He laughed a little more, pounding his knee with an almost hysterical flair. "No." he finally said, smiling though his eyes were not. "Nobody has died in my baths."

-----

"Where are you going?" Tatsuki asked, clearing away the various board games from the futon.

"To my room." Rukia said, trying to be nonchalant about it. She uncharacteristically tripped over Monopoly on the way to the door. Tatsuki laughed, as she recovered, flustered and walked hurriedly out.

Watching her go, she wondered if everything would be all right. _Well, whatever. _She thought, laying back on the futon. _It'll be okay in the end._

That's how the story should go, right?

Right?

-----

_And the Prince and the Princess lived happily ever after…_

Orihime sighed, sinking even lower into the bath. _Fine. Let's just say Rukia is a princess from another world. That balances it out…right?_ She resisted the urge to blow bubbles in the water. _Ah. 'Kay. Say that Ichigo wasn't a Prince, but became one by…inheritance! _

She frowned distastefully. _Nah. _The real issue wasn't Ichigo, but Rukia.

Did she make a better Princess than her?

The sudden sound of splashing water shook her from her reverie.

Her expression darkened considerably. She had let Keigo and Mizuiro down, with the promise that they wouldn't even think about it again.

If there was one thing that pissed Orihime off, it was broken promises. So, when she threw the bucket, she had not expected to hear Ishida's yelp of pain.

"Ishida-kun?" Orihime asked, in disbelief. "What are—"

"I didn't…" Ishida spun around. "Uh…I'll just leave."

Orihime sighed. Just Ishida. No. It was—"No, it's okay. Just…stay there and don't come any closer." She sunk back into the bath and tried to relax her tense body. "I'll probably get out soon, anyway."

"Right…"

The ensuing silence gave her time to realize that she wasn't embarrassed, because really, she believed that Ishida hadn't seen anything.

"So…Ishida-kun? What are you doing here? It's kind of late for a bath."

-----

Ichigo sighed heavily from his position on the futon. He was seriously beginning to doubt whether or not he could stand any more of this…

_There's only so much a guy can take…this week has been hell._

He glanced curiously at Rukia, who was wearing a light, stripped yukata for sleepwear. "What are you doing now?"

"Oh. Nothing."

With a tilt of his head, Ichigo noted that she was bent over a sleek, silver laptop. "Nothing…right. Tell me when you need help." He heard a scoff and smirked silently. Some things never changed…. "So, what did you and the girls do?" He asked, a little curious.

"Nothing." She said, poking at the USB port.

"Cheh." Nothing, again.

"You seemed to be having fun. Why didn't you stay with them?" Rukia tensed, but said nothing. Ichigo frowned. "Okay, fine. I'll bite. What did they say to get you angry at me?"

Rukia shook her head. "I'm not angry at you…" She sighed. "We…talked a lot."

Ichigo's gaze softened a little bit. "And?"

"And I liked it, okay? I had fun playing games with them, and…" she shrugged. "It's nothing."

With a sigh, Ichigo got up to help her. "You'll never get that thing on. Here." He sat by her with a huff, and flipped the power button. Rukia had two things vying for her attention. One was the progress of the laptop; the other was Ichigo's presence beside her. It was hard not to notice every little moment of contact, every brush of his hands on some part of hers…

"_He's happy when he's with you."_Orihime's voice whispered to her.

She concentrated on the laptop.

"Are we going to go to the bath? It worries me."

Rukia nodded stiffly. "Yes. Tonight. We'll wait till everyone is asleep."

Ichigo glanced at a wall clock. "Shouldn't be too long…another hour or two. Or, we could go early morning…if we manage to stay awake."

_**Good evening, Sir, Madame.**_

Rukia clapped her hands excitedly. "AI-san!"

Ichigo blanched. "You brought him along?"

Rukia nodded. "Wow. This is incredible! I suppose this laptop is like a gigai…"

_**Indeed, it is like a fake body, Madame.**_

"What's he here for?" Ichigo asked, distrustfully.

"Hush." Rukia muttered. "Well, AI-san, I'm sorry for not waking you up sooner."

_**No offence taken, Madame. I shall now commence setting up security measures about your room.**_

Ichigo paused at that. "Uh…how?"

His eyes bulged out of his head when three cylindrical tubes were ejected from the laptop.

_**These are to be set up at all the major entranc—**_

"We won't be needing that, Alex."

_**Why, Sir? My earlier appraisal of Katobe—**_

"Murdering us in our sleep isn't his style." He said, rolling his eyes. "He'd much rather kill us slowly." Rukia smacked Ichigo, murmuring accusingly of putting ideas into AI EX's head.

**_I see. _**AI EX said, not really seeing.

"Besides," Ichigo continued. "We may…er…" He spared Rukia a quick glance before addressing AI EX again. "…Visit the baths later tonight." Rukia flushed, but understood his meaning.

…**_I see. _**This time he did see.

"Yeah." Ichigo muttered.

…**_In that case, I will appreciate it if you left me outside the room. In this way, I may keep the room secure while you and the Madame—_**

Ichigo practically threw him out of the room.

-----

Ichigo collapsed on the futon with a muffled sigh. Rukia prodded him with a pen. "Keep awake. We need to be ready." Ichigo groaned an affirmative. She glanced at him. "Oh, c'mon. It hasn't been half-bad."

Ichigo grunted. "…Running around with these…people…. It's tiring."

Rukia smiled. "Admit it. You're having fun."

She giggled when she heard another grunt. Ichigo raised his head at the unfamiliar sound, glancing at her curiously.

Rukia, hiding her smile under a hand, glared coldly at him. "What?"

He shrugged, barely hiding a grin. "Nothing." He said cheekily, suppressing a cackle as her frown deepened. "What's with the pen and paper?"

"Katobeto's assignment." He noted happily that she had dropped the sensei part of his name. "Have you done it?" She asked.

He paled. She sighed. "We'll do it together. My memory of the dinner is a little…fuzzy…"

Ichigo shook his head. "What? No way we're going to write down that we got drunk!"

"Why not? It happened."

Ichigo sighed. "It may not be a big deal in your world, but it sure as hell is here."

"But you said it yourself that Katobeto knew we were drunk." Ichigo rolled his eyes at that. _Anyone would have realized that you were drunk._

"Yeah, but we're not going to advertise that to the school, right?"

Rukia frowned. "Ah."

Ichigo sighed. "Wake me up when you're done. I'm getting some rest. I'll be the one doing the sending, remember?"

Rukia shrugged nonchalantly. "You're going to have to do it sometime." She warned, but didn't argue that he might need some rest.

"Yeah, yeah." He muttered. "Sometime later."

-----

…_with that I learned not only how to cook for two, but also how to put out fires._

Rukia blinked. Was this one of the things that she shouldn't mention? _It's fine! After all, I learned something. That's what this project is about, right?_

She ruffled her hair, irritably. _Still a lot to go…_ She glanced at the clock. _I could always set my phone to wake us up…_ Looking at the bed, with Ichigo and his soft measured breathing, she had to admit that she was tempted…

But it never did to leave reports for later in the Soul Society…

She sighed, giving in. _Screw it._

Setting her phone the way that scientist in the 12th Division had taught her, she blew out the lamps, and crawled hesitantly into the futon beside Ichigo. She checked whether he was asleep first, before guiltily tracing the area on his forehead where his scowl should be.

"I don't want to hold back anymore…" She whispered gently. "I want to be able to…" _I want to able to be with you. Just be with you, without worry…and that will be enough…_

She swallowed, her throat suddenly constricted. She just couldn't be 100 sure of whether or not it would be safe to tell him…

_You say 'safe'…for whom? Yourself? Him? _"For both of us!" She whispered harshly.

As long as there was a chance it wouldn't end happily, Rukia wouldn't risk it. It wasn't in her nature…she had lost too much. _I can't risk…feeling pain at losing him…_

And yet as she lay beside him, facing his back, she thought to herself: _Aren't I hurting now?_

So—

So…

So…

…_So why am I pressed up against his chest all of a sudden?_

"What took you so long…?" Ichigo murmured sleepily into her hair.

Rukia froze. "Huh?" She squeaked.

He muttered something indiscernible, head drooping down to nuzzle her neck.

If Rukia hadn't been blushing before, she was blushing now. "How is it possible for you to make an ass out of yourself when you're asleep?" She hissed. As Ichigo obviously couldn't hear her, she settled into him with a sigh.

_Admit it, _whispered a now VERY smug inner voice. _You would have done it sooner or later. Now you can tell him that it was all his fault._

"Quiet you." She muttered. _Great. Now I know I'll have to visit a therapist…_

-----

"Am I dreaming…?" Rukia said, her voice soft, disbelieving. Everything around her…was…

"This is…the Feudal Era." Something was wrong…despite the fact that the architecture was consistent with Feudal Japan…everything was misty…everything was…

"Am I in the spiritual world…?"

_It's nice to see you again._

Rukia spun around, but, unlike the last time, didn't lash out with her foot. She stiffened. _Last time? There was a last time? _She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and when she opened them again, she was deadly serious. "Who are you? What are you? How and why did you modify my memory?"

_I'm sorry. I can answer only one of your questions. Concerning your memory. I didn't modify it._

Rukia frowned. "You didn't?" Then…

_She did. The miko._

"Are you—" She swallowed her next word. A spirit is neither good nor evil. Classifying it like that interferes with the Shinigami's role.

To cleanse.

"Tell me where you are bound." She said, her voice strong. She had a duty to fulfill. _Only I can't fulfill it. Ichigo will—_

She felt a soft breeze against her.

_I am not bound, yet I choose not to leave. Like the miko…but I feel I belong here. She does not._

A figure appeared at the edge of her vision.

"I'm a Wind Spirit. I guard the mountain…in a way. I can't fight very well though. There is an object, a mirror that—" It jerked and cocked it's head, as if it had just heard a sudden, loud bang.

"It's taken them! It means to use their reiatsu!"

Rukia paled. The only ones with reiatsu were—

"GO! HURRY!"

Rukia woke up.

-----

"That question earlier. Whether or not someone died in your bath. That was a lie. It's been a story we tell all youngsters in the family." Katobeto smiled, reclining in his chair. It was late, but as he was leaving the next day, he had wanted to spend some time with his nephew. "I should know. I particularly enjoyed telling it to you and your cousins."

Shigure's face gave a twitch. It was small, but it was there. "Well. Can't let potential clients get scared of the bath, now can I?"

-----

"Screw this." Ichigo muttered, his spiritual footsteps echoing in the ethereal world. Right beside him, Rukia kicked his foot just as he took a long stride, the way Keigo did it in school. Tripping, and cursing her loudly, he hopped to regain balance. "Bitch!"

"In here!" she said, not big on wasting time on chastising him. The kick would have to do. She tore the shoji door open, dashing through the changing room, ignoring ritual.

_Kami, please, Kami please. Inoue-san!_ What greeted her, made her stop dead in her tracks.

It wasn't just the spiritual pressure. It was minor compared to what she knew Vice-Captains were capable of. It made breathing constricted, but not impossible. It did not rend her to her knees, or force tears out of her eyes.

Ishida and Orihime were hanging, suspended in mid-air, clothed in a thick viscous shadow. Behind and below them, a huge spider-like being of the same material form, loomed.

A hand flew to her nose. The smell, it burned her throat. What the hell was it?

"HERE WE GO!" roared Ichigo, jumping over Rukia's halted form. Soul Cutter already out and raised above his head, he landed lightly on the floor, though his reiatsu caused it to crack.

"Cover me, if you can!" He called out to Rukia, with a slight hint of challenge. Jumping again to meet the shadowy mist, what he assumed to be a body, he heard Rukia chant.

"DOMINATOR!" She began desperately, intent on saving her friends. HER friends! "Mask of flesh and blood. All living beings. That which has the name human! Truth and Temperance, carefully imbed your claws into the walls of innocent dreams!" Ichigo reared back, ready to cut the thing in half.

"Destructive Art 33! **Blue Firefall**!" She cried, aiming so that it would hit a long snake like tentacle that had reared back to strike at an incoming Ichigo. It was torn off, and the Art engulfed the entire monster in blue flames.

Unhindered, Ichigo's Soul Cutter slashed straight and true, a burst of light emanating from the cut that stretched from the top of the mist to the bottom. It gurgled, sick and wounded, backing away and dropping its captives.

Ishida and Orihime fell into the bath with a splash, and Rukia rushed in to recover them. Dancing to the side, Ichigo goaded the Spirit away, allowing Rukia to drag their two friends out of the bath.

Already regaining consciousness, Ishida knocked her hands away, wiping water from his lips and nose. The cross that hung at his wrist glowed.

"No." Rukia said forcefully. "This isn't a Hollow. Let us handle it." She gestured towards Orihime. "Check if she's okay, and get her out of here!"

It was either following a _Shinigami_'s orders, or doing his sworn Quincy duty, and Ishida hesitated, his conflict evident. Sharp and rasping coughs from Orihime, however, made the decision for him.

Seeing that he was following her orders, she turned around, and headed towards Ichigo.

-----

"Rukia! Mind telling me what it is?" He called, dodging an appendage, to stand protectively in front of her. She frowned, seemingly unable to come up with an answer that suited her. They were driven apart by a tentacle.

"Not a Hollow." She muttered. "A Demi, then? Something in between…" Her muscles were screaming protest at each step, and her breathing was no longer controlled, but ragged. _Can't keep up much longer…_

Ichigo, in an attempt to get closer to deliver a killing blow, winced as a tentacle grazed his arm, causing it to bleed. His Soul Cutter, shining with what little light there was, slashed at the middle of the enemy, his movements becoming desperate. A gap opened up by his slash, and his eyes widened at the sight. There, cloaked by the shadow, was a human head, its eyes turned dully towards him. It seemed to be in a state of decomposition…

…It was rotting.

"It IS a Demi…!" Her mind worked desperately, as Ichigo, sensing a weak point, dashed in, intent on slashing at the 'exposed' head. _Something with reiatsu is keeping him from becoming a Hollow…leaving him something else!_

Ichigo—

She gasped, her body freezing up.

_How fleeting, our happiness was._

She doubled over, watching the scenes with horror.

She couldn't even summon up a destructive art to block the whispers, the sad, harsh voice of a dead woman.

A tentacle dripping with foam burned Ichigo's left shoulder. He pressed on, determinedly, his intent to cut the being cloaked in shadow.

_I will keep you here._

She started forward with a gasp, running directly between Ichigo and the Demi.

_I won't let you go._

"You're wrong!" she rasped.

_This is where we shall stay, forever._

"Ichigo!" She shouted, finally coming between them. "Stop! STOP!"

_Forever._

Ichigo turned his blade away at the last minute, clutching Rukia to his chest and barrelling to the side.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!" He cried, standing up; his face twisted with both fear and anger. "I could have—" He stiffened. "Rukia?" _I didn't cut her. I couldn't have. _And yet there was blood, bright blood that was coming out of a wound in her side….

She managed tiny bursts of breath, and between them, spoke harshly, urgently, commandingly into his ear. "There is a miko here. In spirit form. You have to send her!"

"Bleeding…" He muttered, afraid to check his Soul Cutter.

"Ichigo—" She stared, eyes wide at the Demi, who was lumbering towards them.

There was strained silence, until a female figure in miko clothes emerged from the mist.

She carried a mirror in both hands, and in it, a younger girl, clothed in a kimono, stared imploringly at Rukia.

The miko gazed at the two superciliously, evidently oblivious to the Demi that had stopped for her.

"Send her." Rukia murmured pleadingly.

Ichigo stood up, in a daze. Her orders kept him from screaming, kept something inside him from ripping apart.

When he lifted the Soul Cutter, hilt up, the miko's eyes softened. "If I choose not to go?"

Rukia, hand pressed to her side, glared at her. "You don't have a choice. The Court of Pure Souls will decide your fate."

The miko now addressed her. "All I wanted…was for he and I to share in the joy of others, for we could not enjoy it ourselves…" She held out the mirror. "If you two had been married…you wouldn't have known…"

Rukia eyes held no sympathy. "And that is what you've created."

Choosing not to look at the creature behind her, she accepted the hilt.

Ichigo didn't watch the Hell Butterfly take to the sky, and he didn't hear the mirror clatter to the floor with a crack. He was too engrossed in the Demi, whose shadow form was stripped away, by the wind, to reveal a young man, kneeling on the floor.

"Where…" He grunted, and he began twisting on the floor, as the Chain attached to him seemed to eat itself.

"Send him!" Rukia cried.

This time Ichigo watched.

They both did, weary and spellbound, as two Hell Butterflies floated into the moonlight.

Ichigo sat next to her heavily, quickly going to her side. "Let me see it." He whispered hoarsely.

"Do you smell that?" Rukia said, head against the wall. Ichigo took a sniff. "This is how it should be." She laughed, and he marvelled at the sound. Rukia did not laugh often. "Some Springs cure aches and skin, but no, this one had to be special, and heal spirits." She continued.

"So…the mirror?" He wanted to see the wound, why wouldn't she let him?

"It kept the guardian of this place sealed, using the reiatsu created from…" She stumbled. "…From married couples."

"Why?"

"An old story." Shigure muttered. They jerked in surprise, Ichigo dragging his Soul Cutter in front of him. "The mirror I placed here, every time new guests visit…it was supposed to keep away the curse of this place."

"Curse?" Ichigo asked suspiciously.

"One that suffocated every married couple to enter the spring…" He chuckled darkly. "It is said that…in a dream, my ancestor met a miko, one who claimed that she could end the curse…." He shook his head. "She showed him the mirror…ending a curse…but only so another could take its place."

Behind him, the entire inn's guests were staring, opened mouthed at the state of the bath, and at Rukia.

Orihime, Tatsuki, and Chad were staring pointedly at Ichigo, while Ishida seemed to be examining the varying levels of destruction, obviously nervous as hell, and without any good ideas to share.

Katobeto looked around. "Where's Ichigo?"

Shigure's eyes lit up in understanding, focusing on Ichigo. "You must be a Shini—"

_-PHOOOF-!_

-----

"That's the last of them. I put Orihime and Ishida in the same room by mistake, and I sure as hell aren't going to go back there and lug his heavy ass into another room." Rukia nodded, staring distractedly at the ceiling.

"That's not good." She mumbled. "What happens when she wakes up in the morning?"

He shrugged. "You did the flashy thing on them. It was a long way to their rooms, you know."

"Could YOU have picked a better time?" She retorted.

Well, they would have been hard pressed to get out of that one, he reflected. What better time than right then?

He cast an eye to the wound she had a bright red cloth pressed to. "Lemme see it." He grunted. Rukia, who had changed out of her torn yukata and into a clean shirt, he hesitated before lifting the cloth away. She allowed him to treat the cut, and watched, as his face grew more and more closed as he dressed it.

"Don't worry about it." She whispered, but hissed every time circumstance made him run his hand over it.

"…What does the aura in the bath do?" he asked, tending to the other cuts and scrapes she had, knowing full well that she had spared nothing in healing him of his injuries.

She couldn't hide the pink in her cheek. "It…relaxes you…spiritually. I suppose." She managed to act nonchalant. "It doesn't matter, and it's hard to explain."

He nodded. "We should soak in it tomorrow." Her eyes widened, and her blush darkened considerably. "—Separately!" He said quickly, mentally slapping himself.

She exhaled—Why did she feel a tinge of regret?—and let him work. His efficiency was startling, but pleasant, and he seemed at ease with the contents of the first aid box, applying burn medicine for the Demi's acid, placing a cold pack on a bruise…. She was thankful for these rare moments, when she saw his tender side. She nearly laughed at the irony. She was normally the one tending his wounds…

"That was pretty good." He mumbled.

"What was good?" Rukia asked softly, lost in his careful ministrations.

Seemingly startled that he had spoken aloud, he continued diffidently. "The way we fought. It was different. I liked it. We were…"

"…A team?" She suggested.

"Yeah…except for…" He glanced at her side furtively. She took his chin in his hands.

"Don't be stubborn. It's okay. It'll be fine tomorrow."

He pulled away. "Yeah."

Sighing, she leaned back to lie on the futon. "C'mon. I'm tired."

Did she detect a blush there? She couldn't really tell. The lamp didn't provide a lot of light. She watched him put away the first aid box.

This time she recognized it for what it was. She couldn't help but feel disappointed, when, after extinguishing the lamp, Ichigo turned face the wall. Frowning irritably, she settled down, wondering why he was so block-headed, and why the heck couldn't she stop feeling like bashing his head in?

"Hey. Rukia." He said quietly.

"What?" she asked curtly.

"The guy…and the miko…who were they? And how did you know about them?"

Rukia drew a breath. "Well…they were in love. But…the miko, who had been kept isolated since the day she was born, took his death…hard." She noticed his movement, and he noticed the strain in her voice.

"How did you know?"

"I…I could feel it. Her memories…they were…unpleasant. One of the downsides to being a—" Her breath caught. "Ichigo…?"

"Sorry." He whispered. "Let me do this."

She settled into his embrace, suddenly realizing how much she needed it. "It was horrible." She managed. "All that was left were her feelings. Wretchedness. Hate." Her grip tightened. "Longing." She relaxed, as he rubbed the small of her back soothingly.

"…It must have been hard…"

"It…yeah. It was." She could feel his hand brush her side gently. It was to be expected…she would have felt the same way if she had cut…if she had hurt someone…she cared about…

_Kaien… _A voice whispered.

"Did…I…cut you?" His voice was harsh, and Rukia felt his pain.

"Yes. And it doesn't matter." He stiffened. "It doesn't matter!" She pulled away harshly. "Stop this. Just stop! I ran in like that…things were moving so fast…" She sighed. "You know what?"

He blinked. "What?"

"You've got a head that could crack a Hollow's mask."

Ichigo stared, dumbstruck, and then frowned. "Hey…"

"You do. Now, go to sleep, and if you feel bad about it in the morning, I'll punish you."

Ichigo mouth went dry. "Huh?"

Rukia sighed. "PUNISHMENT. For your crime of NOT cutting me in half."

Okay. "Wait just a min—"

She pecked him on the cheek. "Sleep."

She settled into him, flustered, but pleased that she had gotten him to shut up. Pleased that she hadn't hit him.

Generally, she was just pleased. Ichigo was weak in this arena…very, very weak. She smothered a smile on his uninjured shoulder.

Ichigo stifled a groan. Like he was going to sleep now?

_Tsuzuku_

XD Whee.

It's safe to say that I love this chapter.

The conclusion to the Onsen-sub-plot is next!

Once again, if you've made it all the way down here, then realize, comments feed my muse.

That's the downside to being a muse, I guess XD


	11. Saying goodbye

Disclaimer and Notes: Own Bleach? Me? Nah.

**To the Wind  
Chapter 11**_  
By Advent Wing_

No. No one had woken up yet.

Rukia would know if they did. After all, the memories chosen by the modifier were very…random.

_So, I know no one is up yet because no one has come into our room to check if we're okay. _She sighed, snuggled contentedly into Ichigo, and winced when her muscles protested. Now that she thought about it, she did feel extremely stiff…

_A soak in the bath may cure that_; and those thoughts brought back a familiar tinge of red in her cheeks. Her stiff muscles could use a massage, and she was briefly tempted into asking Ichigo to return the favour…

_I'm falling in love. _She decided quietly. Oh Gods. She didn't want to admit it, but she was. Worse, she might already….

At least – she might be wrong. In matters of the heart, she failed.

She sighed. _I'm skipping ahead. How do I know he even wants me…that way?_

She blocked out the annoying Orihime-like whisper that reminded her of each touch, of each flush, of each kiss—

It was too complicated. She desperately needed to simplify things. Taking into account her feelings, and Ichigo's feelings, and the problems separating them…

She really didn't get it.

It was obvious that a union of any sort between Ichigo and her would be disadvantageous.

_We argue at every point. He's always insulting me, and contradicting me. And I don't even want to begin contemplating our more…pressing differences…_

She sighed. It was a wonder how Humans stayed sane.

…Human. She was not human, though she once was. And yet, living here had made her realize one very important fact.

Besides the fact that they lived on two different spiritual planes of existence, there really wasn't much that separating Shinigami and Humans It was the little things. The little things were the same. _We laugh like humans. We eat, like humans. We befriend, like humans. _She raised a lithe hand to the air, reflecting over her false form. _We hate, like humans. _She coloured, a deep scarlet. _We can love…like humans._

Rukia found her gaze transferring itself to the boy beside her. He was a strange one, but undeniably cute…in a harsh kind of way. And when he showed his soft side…

_Despite all our similarities…the Kuchiki line has a policy on Shinigami Conduct…_

She frowned. The Kuchiki rulebook probably had **'Thou shalt not be joyous'** as the first commandment.

"…Rukia?" Ichigo mumbled.

Like it or not, she was stuck with her feelings for Ichigo. _There probably isn't a clause in the rulebook for falling in love…_

Her head was resting beside his, and when he looked into her eyes questioningly, she smiled, truly, wanly.

Ichigo flushed, and Rukia couldn't stop her smile from turning…feral, at his reaction.

"Good morning," She began softly, sitting up to regard him.

Ichigo, glancing at her from the corner of his eye; took in her dishevelled yukata. He grunted a quick, almost resigned "Morning" as he shifted away from her. He sighed. His obviously involuntary reactions showed that he still wasn't quite used to seeing Rukia wake up beside him. And if his rapidly increasing heartbeat was any indication, he had a very slow 'cool down' time. "How's your wound?" He asked gruffly, and then regretted it. He wasn't supposed to be worried because—

Rukia frowned, pulling his face around by his chin to meet her glare. "Is pain the only way to get my point across?"

He couldn't help but glare into her eyes. The problem with this was that up-close, it was very hard to…control…himself.

Especially _this_ early in the morning.

_YES, _he said quickly,_ hormones! It's the only logical explanation to these impulses I keep getting!_

…Who was he kidding? Hormones be dammed. It was all Rukia, and he couldn't resist her. Eyebrows knitting, realizing she was still waiting for a reply, he shrugged carelessly in response.

Rukia threw up her hands in frustration, and Ichigo thought he'd get a nosebleed for sure when her yukata nearly fell off. "Did ANYTHING I said last night enter your head? Do you remember ANYTHING?" She asked, glaring at him pointedly.

Ichigo shrugged again, feigning forgetfulness, beads of sweat revealing the exact opposite.

Rukia sighed, and tried not to enjoy herself too much when she moved to all but purr into his ear. "You do realize I'll have to MAKE you remember…" Right now…she felt…

…in control.

She couldn't help but like that.

"Ichigo…" Rukia said, thoughtfully, resting her chin atop his head. Why the heck not? He'd be returning the favour. "Do you remember when I gave you a massage?"

Ichigo nodded, cautiously. "What about it?"

"Well…some parts of my body are feeling pretty stiff."

Ichigo cocked an eyebrow. "That's my punishment?"

Rukia, her expression curiously innocent, asked whether or not he would rather she hit him. Rukia then loosened her yukata slightly, just enough to bare her shoulders.

Ichigo was tempted to say yes, just hit me. Only the memory of last night's battle, the guilt fresh in his mind, and a general concern for Rukia's overworked body, made him loosen his frown, and place his hands on her shoulders.

_Well, I did it. _Rukia decided, face blessedly hidden from his eyes. _That dries up my confidence well for the day. For the week, really. In fact, I doubt I'll ever, ever, try something like this again. It has to be the bloody aura of this Inn. _She frowned_. Well, if he says anything, I'll just turn around and smack him—_

Rukia swallowed a 'meep'; when she felt his hands rub her shoulders. "Well? What do you want me to do?"

"W-Whatever feels right." She managed. "Try to rub a little harder?"

Ichigo complied, noting how her body seemed to relax under his ministrations._ Beginner's luck? _He ventured.

"Ichigo…" Rukia began. "I'm not going to break. You could try a little more pressure." She let out a hiss as his rubbing eased her weary muscles. "A little bit to the right…"

Rukia probably would have enjoyed it more, if she weren't preoccupied with the fact that ICHIGO was giving her a massage. Was, for once, following what she said, with no grumbling, and no complaints.

And who would have thought he would be _so_ good?

She wouldn't have minded spending the morning like that, until she realized that he might be doing this out of guilt. "Hey Ichigo…? About last night…"

"What?"

"…It will heal, you know." She cut in, almost absent-mindedly taking one hand from her shoulder, and placing it gently at her side, where he had cut her.

He really thought she'd understand what he was feeling. _I cut her. It was me. Not a Hollow. Me._

"And it's different from Kaien and I. You know why?" She asked, giving voice to his thoughts.

"Why?" He asked, gruffly.

She turned to face him fully. "For one thing, I'm not dead...gone…because you didn't want to cut me."

He snarled in response "You didn't want to cut him either! You—"

She shook her head vehemently. "I did. I wanted to cut him!" Her face took on that drained haunted quality that he didn't _hate_ per say…it just filled him with a sudden _need_…that he couldn't quite explain yet…

And it sickened him, but he understood. All he could do now was find a way to make her forget about the pain…and so, firm, but gentle, he took her into his arms. It may have been a little uncomfortable, but Rukia yielded to him quickly, expectantly, and if he could ever remember anything, or even begin to entertain the thought of her reciprocating his 'impulses', he'd realize one important fact.

…That Rukia never resisted him, except on that one dark, rainy night.

Rukia inhaled sharply at intimate contact. _Your yukata is still loose, _muttered a now weary, and defeated-sounding voice in her head. Murmuring his name, she treaded her fingers though his hair. All this, and she was finding it impossible that he didn't feel the same way she did.

So, tentatively, cautiously, she pulled apart, to gaze away, to hide her face from his view. It was this act alone that pulled Ichigo out of whatever haze he had decided to lose himself in. "Rukia…?"

"Ichigo…is intimacy a big deal in this world?" Try as she might, she just couldn't put what she felt for him into words…the swirl of emotions and feelings making it too complicated…it would make what she felt…different…

Ichigo swallowed. _Okay. Where did that come from? _"Depends."

"On?"

"On the individual. I guess…"

"So…what do you think?" she asked hesitantly.

"About what?" He asked gruffly.

Rukia, who was pretty apprehensive about this whole thing, grabbed his head by the hair and twisted it to meet his eyes, relishing his little yelps of pain. "Intimacy, you spiky-haired idiot!"

Ichigo pried her hand off, rubbing his scalp. "What about it?" He asked doggedly. Rukia _growled_.

"Okay, okay! Persistent bitch…" He flopped back on the futon, expelling a breath as he did. _Well, what can I tell her? _

A tiny angelic thought that sounded a lot like Yuzu cried **"The truth! Ichi-nii! The truth! "**

_The truth? What IS the truth? I don't even know the truth myself. _

"**What's the big deal then? Stall,"** muttered a flat voice that resembled Karin.

_Tried that. _

"**Something romantic! Say something roman—"**

_Screw you Pops!_

"I…I wouldn't really know." He finally confessed.

Rukia blinked. "Why not?"

"I haven't had much experience with intimacy." He snapped. "I find it too much trouble."

Rukia frowned. She kind of got it now. "So, you're afraid of people?"

Ichigo facefaulted. "No!"

Rukia's frown deepened. "So then, you're afraid of—"

"—I'm not afraid of anything!" He snapped.

Rukia frown turned angry. "Okay, fine, what the hell do you call what we're doing?"

_I don't know! Half the bloody time I don't know what the hell I want to do with you, the other half I know EXACTLY what I want to do with—_

"Well?" She asked.

"When we do, what we do…I don't know…. It feels…right." He confessed. "But…I…just…can't…" _Do it. I can't do this because if I do, I'll end up…like before._

_Weak. A brat wandering up and down looking for what he's lost, without the balls to just accept it and move on._

…_I just can't do that again._

Rukia felt her heart skip a beat, and shifted so she could study him easier. "When we do what?" She asked, slowly leaning over.

Ichigo swallowed, losing himself to emotion. "When we do this." He whispered, sitting up, and noting the disturbing lack of distance between their faces…

"…What the hell am I saying?" He asked, standing up and stretching, masking his discomfort. _…I care about you…a little… _He swallowed_. Okay, a lot really._ And that, as much as he loathed admitting it, scared him…because…it was hard to care about something you knew you'd have to forget…

_I'm not afraid of people. I'm afraid about losing them…_

Ichigo picked up the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps. He turned to the door expectantly.

…Catching her gaze, did he detect a hint hope behind those entrancing midnight-blue eyes? Or was he the one being hopeful? He wished he could swallow his brewing conflict. Part of him focused on self-preservation, and that meant for him to keep his bloody heart closed, thank you very much.

The other convinced him that it was only a matter of time before his actions betrayed his feelings.

The door slid open with a bang.

-----

It was with much annoyance that Rukia found out that she had missed Keigo and Mizuiro in the memory modification process.

Or what Ichigo called the flashy thing.

The morning madness crept in slowly, with Orihime, Ishida, Tatsuki, Chad, Katobeto, and Shigure filing in with identically dumfounded expressions. It was refreshing really; she enjoyed the distraction from the information she had learned. She was still a little sore, though, which warranted a bath. Everyone else was much too distracted with what they had 'seen' last night, to share her sentiments.

"It just…wandered in?" Keigo asked.

Everyone nodded.

Mizuiro arched an eyebrow. "And then, Kuchiki-san was injured by falling over a piece of rubble?"

Rukia nodded solemnly.

"And then a squad of ninjas came in by hang-gliders, to dispatch it?"

Identically dubious nods met his words.

"And after that, a cosplay convention, stormed in to buy the carcass from them?" More nods. "…For a costume."

Chad seemed especially frazzled, but nodded anyway.

"And then the ninja's faded into the night?" After another general accent, Mizuiro groaned, and slumped backwards.

"…Did it shoot a laser from its mouth?" Keigo asked sarcastically, pointing to a large horizontal slash in the interior, which stretched from one end of the room to the other.

Orihime shook her head. "Everyone knows Godzilla didn't, pardon, doesn't shoot a laser from its mouth!" She paused. "On the other hand…I think the old, old Godzilla did…" She frowned thoughtfully. "I'm quite sure it was 'a' Godzilla, though. Right everyone?"

Everyone else just nodded.

-----

Shigure sighed. "Well. What can I say, but one of our businesses stock lines?" He bowed. "We apologize for the inconvenience." Rukia felt a strong sense of guilt. The Hot Springs would need repair before the next batch of guests arrived. Doubtless, they didn't directly cause the destruction, but she felt like apologizing anyway.

"We should be apologizing." Rukia began.

Shigure smiled. "It was no fault of yours." His smile faltered, at his (fake) memories of last night. "…And as long as the Head Estate doesn't hear of it, you're welcome to come again." Though he doubted he'd tell the Head Estate ANYTHING about this.

…Who the hell would believe him, anyway? He was sure someone had slipped something into their tea.

Ichigo shrugged. "Maybe." Rukia nudged him gently, reprovingly, and went off to join Orihime and Tatsuki with their packing. He rolled his eyes. "We'll try. Thank you for your hospitality." He grinned, truly. "It was fun." Shigure nodded, shaking Ichigo's hand.

Shigure cocked his head in the direction of Rukia. "You two aren't really married, are you?"

Ichigo paled. "Er. Well…"

Laughing, Shigure turned his attention to one of the koi ponds that dotted the Inn, while Ichigo sweated. There was obviously a reason why Katobeto said that they were truly married. He hoped he hadn't set off a land mine by mistake—

"The mirror is broken." Shigure said suddenly.

Ichigo, quelling rising panic with brusqueness, arched an eyebrow questioningly, and asked, "What mirror?" He leaned against a banister, all cockiness.

Shigure observed the fish a little longer. Ichigo had the strange feeling Shigure was letting him stew…

"There was this mirror that was supposed to seal away a certain curse." He paused. "Every married couple that enters that Bath will die, without it." He shrugged. "Or so they say."

"You don't believe in ghosts?" Ichigo asked.

Shigure laughed. "Well, that depends. I've never actually seen one."

_Okay. There was something wrong here. He saw me yesterday in Shinigami form, but has never seen a ghost in his life?_

"But there was this stench that only seemed to go away when I had put the mirror in its place." Shigure turned to him. "It isn't needed now. For that, I suppose I should thank you."

Ichigo shrugged. So he never really had any Spiritual Power at all. _Just enough to smell it. Come to think of it, he wasn't looking at me, last night…he was looking at Rukia. _"…Didn't do anything. See ya." He pushed off the banister to leave, sinking a hand into a pocket, before Shigure bade him to stop.

"Hey, even though you're being forced by Katobeto, you should use these opportunities to get closer to someone you obviously care about." Ichigo froze in mid-step.

He whirled, the words coming out in a rush. "I-We…I don't—"

"Ah, but you do. Whatever it is that's holding YOU back, get over it." Shigure smiled.

"…Once, again," Ichigo snorted, "I have no idea what you're talking about." His insides were in turmoil though. First and foremost, Rukia could NOT like him that way. It had been all him, all along. Second, he couldn't afford to care for her.

She was too dangerous.

Shigure chuckled. "Just a guess…though…" Shigure clapped him across the shoulders. "Come back when you two have reached some kind of consensus."

This time, Ichigo couldn't help but answer truthfully. "I'll try."

-----

_**My system will process the information you just dictated to me, Madame. **_

"And?"

**_I regret to inform you that it will process it in exactly 10 seconds, after which my it will crash. Again._**

Rukia frowned. "I don't see what's so hard about this. A giant green lizard that Orihime called 'Godzilla' crashed into the—"

—**_DOES NOT COMPUTE! DOES NOT COMPUTE! THE SITUATION WAS NOT A PREDICTED EVENT! …THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH—_**

**-…Rebooting…-**

Rukia sighed. "He's gone."

Orihime nodded sagely. "His processor couldn't handle the information." She shrugged. "But I can tell you I've never seen anything like him."

"Well," Rukia said, "He's helped me out a few times. He's great." She really enjoyed watching the text of the reboot process. "Have you packed?"

Orihime nodded. "Yeah. It's a shame though. Poor Souryu-san. How will he explain this?"

Rukia felt the guilt tug at her again. "I don't suppose we'll come here again."

Orihime sighed wistfully, hugging a nearby pillow close. "I would have liked one more bath…" She smiled slyly. "Did you have a talk with Kurosaki-kun? About your feelings for him?"

Rukia winced, first at the recollection of her decision not to act on her feelings, and second, that someone else had spoken her feelings for Ichigo out loud. "Well…no."

Orihime's jaw dropped. "WHAT? Whyyyy?"

Rukia busied herself with her toes. "I…decided not to."

With a sigh, Orihime got up to sit directly in front of her. "Rukia, is there a reason why you don't want to talk with Ichigo?"

Rukia shrugged, and desperate for a change in topic, suddenly, and with dawning shock remembered - "…What were you and Ishida doing in the bath?"

Orihime jerked surprise. "…Me…and Ishida-kun?" She flushed. "Well, that's…I don't really…"

Rukia's eyes widened. "He didn't spy on you, did he? That Quincy scum—"

"Ah, no, no…I don't think so…" She placed a finger on her chin thoughtfully. "Well…we were talking…"

"Talking? In a bath?" …Rukia hadn't made the connection that most would…

"Yes. About…" Her eyes widened. "Ah. That was just before Godzilla-san attacked."

"And?"

"And…" She clapped her hands in front of her. "Ah, I sense that Tatsuki-chan needs help with the packing! TATSUKI-CHAAAAAAAN!"

Rukia followed her out hurriedly. "Orihime! Hey! Tell me what you were talking about!"

-----

"_You like Kurosaki, don't you?" He asked hesitantly._

_Orihime somehow lost her footing, and slipped deeper into the water. "Ah? Aha ha ha…ha ha…ha…" Her nervous laughter died. "Is it that obvious?" She lowered herself to blow bubbles into the water. If she wasn't depressed before…_

_Ishida shrugged. "I guessed."_

"_How?"_

"_Watching…I guess."_

_Orihime smiled thoughtfully at him. "You must have sharp eyes."_

_Ishida blinked in surprise. "Huh? Ah…well…probably not…" He stared out into the night sky. Lit lanterns created a surreal effect on everything…he really had to compliment Shigure-san on it. "I do wear glasses, you know."_

_Orihime laughed. "That doesn't impair your 'vision'."_

_Ishida paused, before shrugging nonchalantly. "Probably not."_

"…_What else do you see?" She asked leaning against the rock between them._

"_Many…many things…" He cast his gaze to the ceiling. _

"…_Like?"_

"…_Like—"_

"Ishida-san." Chad asked.

"…Yeah?" Ishida asked, dusting off pants. He was set to go.

"Are you going to do what Katobeto-sensei asked us to do?" He flipped his duffel bag over his shoulder. "About Ichigo."

"You mean report on him?" Ishida paused before shrugging. "Probably not."

Chad jerked in surprise, and then regarded Ishida with a hint of respect. "Yeah. Probably not."

-----

Katobeto relaxed into the driver's seat of the SUV. As it was a rental from one of his many contacts, he felt obliged to enjoy it as much as he possibly could. His friend would be pleased to know that he had squeezed in eight teenagers, one of them overgrown by normal standards.

And without any accidents, too.

Tuning to his favourite radio channel, which was unfortunately Ichigo's least favourite radio channel, he settled into his chair…only to find himself freshly disturbed at last night's chain of events.

EVERYONE knew Godzilla was retired.

"With all due respect, dear Uncle, are you insane?" Shigure asked, his hands in the sleeves of his yukata. "I know you've wanted to develop the theory of psychological stress on married couples…but choosing a couple that isn't actually a couple yet, is…kind of…strange. Even for you."

Katobeto grinned. "One mustn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Fate dropped me two _very_ interesting lab rats. It would be wrong not to take advantage of them."

-----

Ichigo stretched, grabbing at the luggage. "Great to be home." He muttered, stalking through the door as Rukia waved goodbye.

"Take care now." Tatsuki grinned. "Don't let Ichigo's moods get to you."

"Don't forget those reports…I expect them to be reflective and informative."

Rukia nodded, a little too quickly maybe. "They _will_ be, sensei."

Katobeto eyed her, and then broke into a smile. "I heard you have problems with essays. Is it true?"

…Teachers. No tact. "Well, I suppose so."

"Then here's some advice. Try and relate what you've learned to the 'families' section of your textbook. I could send you a copy of my mark scheme…if you'd like. Some linkage separates 'A' from 'B', you know."

Rukia nodded, grateful for the helpful advice. Tatsuki frowned. The only part she remembered was the section on family planning…

"You could have said goodbye, you know." Rukia accused later, carrying her own small bag through the hallway. "And haven't we established the fact that you enjoyed yourself immensely?"

His brief non-comitial grunt earned him a steady glare. "I'll put Alex back." He said, taking the laptop bag with him.

"I'm going to take a shower first, okay?" Rukia called after him.

He grunted an affirmative.

She suppressed a grin at the strangely comforting features of the house she and Ichigo now inhabited. Tossing her bag onto the bed, she went straight to the bathroom. A quick appraisal of her injuries, and Rukia was set for the hot shower. She winced, as the hot water stung her. She was a little worried about the functionality of her gigai…maybe a trip to Urahara's for Souma fixers would help?

So she relaxed into the water, as she finally adjusted to the temperature, sighing as she did. She wanted another massage…

-----

…**_My system has concluded that the consumption of a hallucinogenic is more likely than the appearance of a fictional, cultural and historical icon…Madame?_**

"Taking a shower." He said, flopping on the bed. Was it really Thursday already…?

…**_I see._**He said, as put off as an AI could sound.**_ Oh, wait, Sir. You have a message._**

Ichigo turned, arching an eyebrow. "Oh? Lets hear it."

-beep-

"_Hey, Ichi-nii, this is Karin. Visited last night, cause Dad wanted to. You weren't there, so he assumed you eloped for real. I suggest you visit him tonight so the idiot can stop making preparations for a 'real' ceremony._

There was a slight pause.

_Oh, and Yuzu misses you._

There was another pause.

_She asked me to tell you that I miss you too._

Ichigo heard a sharp noise of irritation in the background.

…_Anyway, come visit. Bye."_

_­_-beep-

-----

"So, we are…?"

"Heading to a department store." Ichigo replied.

"Ah." Rukia said. "For what?" She wondered how so many people could be in one place at one time. It was claustrophobic, but…also a little exciting…

"A dress, or two." He accomplished _that_ statement with minimal difficulty. "Maybe we'll look around a bit after that…"

Rukia digested the new information, while struggling through the crowd. "And what's wrong with your sister's clothes? Or the ones in the house?" She felt his hand grasp hers, and allowed herself to be led, until she had more or less slipped into step beside him. Holding hands was no longer necessary, but, distance be damned, she kind of enjoyed it.

"Well, I thought you'd like your own clothes."

_My own clothes, huh?_ "And all this trouble is for…?"

Ichigo paused before replying. "I felt like it."

Rukia frowned distastefully. To be Kuchiki meant discipline and control at all times. To do something simply because impulse dictated it, was…

…Exactly what she had been doing, ever since she stepped into that Hollow's path, that night she met Ichigo.

…Suddenly aware of the hypocrisy, she mentally thumped herself.

-----

Ichigo watched, amused as Rukia took short, furtive glances at the plushie store located directly across the entrance to the clothes section of the department store.

He really enjoyed seeing her like this…it made _him_ feel at ease…because _she_ was at ease. _We should go out more often… _"Oi. This way." He said, tugging her along as he recalled his earlier answer to the question of 'why he was doing this'.

He seemed to be using 'I felt like it' a lot lately. The rebellious thoughts he'd been having had begun to seem…less rebellious. Heck, he was holding her hand in public. Where anyone from school could just walk up and gape.

And he had even pushed the thought of her leaving away. She hadn't said anything, or even alluded to the fact that she would have to go back. Was he jumping to conclusions? He let go of her hand reluctantly. "Well, let's look around."

Rukia eyed the racks speculatively. "…What do I buy?"

Ichigo frowned. "Hell should I know?"

"You've got two younger sisters!"

"You never went to buy clothes for yourself?" He asked sarcastically.

Rukia stiffened. All her clothes had been given to her. As a Kuchiki, as a Shinigami, even as a street rat.

Hell, the clothes she wore now didn't really count as hers, though she _had_ picked them herself. "Of…of course I have!"

Ichigo gestured to the racks. "Then lead the way."

"How many will we get?"

Ichigo shrugged. "Try on as many as you want…until you're satisfied. But we won't buy all of them. Maybe three." Rukia glared suspiciously at him, and he returned it, before sighing and then taking the lead.

-----

"You're kidding."

"No. I'm not." He said curtly. "You change in there. The lock is kind of like a latch. You shouldn't find it too hard." He tried not to notice the sales attendant's gaze. The place was filled with shoppers, but, he noticed with chagrin, they were the only 'couple' there. He didn't want someone to come along to ask if he would appreciate any help with his girlfriend…

…Like what those attendants were undoubtedly about to do.

He knew their type. These people took joy in embarrassing him. Like that time when Yuzu wandered into the Lingerie section and he had to be the one to get her out. He was at an awkward age then. He was lucky he didn't pass out from embarrassment. Oh, when he was older, he wanted to get Karin a dress for her birthday, and the attendant had protested (very helpfully and very loudly) that it was much too small for HIM. Or that other time when he had knocked over a rack by mistake, and SOMEONE had told security that a youth with dyed hair was tearing up the store.

He waited, calmly, until they had established who would approach him.

When she made a move towards him, he smiled, and shook his head.

The attendant's smile seemed to widen, and she continued to advance towards him.

Ah. Step two, then. He creased his forehead a little. Not glaring outright, but it would make any normal person hesitate.

Unperturbed, she continued on her path, and Ichigo pointed to a well-dressed woman with a shiny gold badge. The attendant frowned. The General Manager.

The attendant slinked off.

"Ichigo?" Rukia asked, snapping him out of his smug disposition.

"I'll be out here." He replied.

Watching her disappear into the room, he leaned against the wall, holding her other garments; you could only take in three. "Hey…uh…when you're done, come out if you want me to take a look."

The rustling of fabric stopped. "Why the heck would I do that?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "I don't know. Yuzu and Karin always ask me to look."

"Aha!" She called triumphantly. "I knew it! You HAVE done this before!"

Ichigo pinched the bridge of his nose. "You are not my sister." He caught the eye of a hawkeyed attendant, and glared at her. She bustled off hurriedly.

Some time and rustling later, Rukia and stepped out. "How's this?"

Ichigo glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. Why did he have to offer? He'd make a complete ass of himself now, surely. Studying Rukia intently seemed to have that effect on him. "…Not bad."

Rukia nodded. "I thought so."

She went in, and came out wearing another. "This one?"

"…Not bad." He said, scarcely looking at her.

She frowned this time. "Okay…" She went in to change, and came out again. "This one?"

Ichigo nodded. "…Not bad—" Rukia kicked his calf smoothly, cutting him off. He grimaced, mindful of the attendants hovering around them. "…The hell was that for?"

Rukia glared at him. "This was the _first_ dress."

Ichigo rubbed his calf. "Okay, okay." He looked at her fully. "It…looks good on you."

"Really?" She looked into the mirror. She really liked the material…and the embroidery was nice too. It was a very soft yellow, and the skirt wasn't too short… "Why?"

The main problem with looking at Rukia was that he found he couldn't _stop _looking at Rukia. "…Just get in and try the next dress on."

…This time he _growled _at the sales attendant.

She took longer than usual.

Ichigo tapped on the door, and found that it was unlatched. "…Rukia? Why didn't you lock the door?"

There was no answer for a while, before he received a muffled reply. "…In case a Hollow attacked."

Ichigo snorted. _Yeah, okay._ "…Are you having trouble with the dress?"

"Maybe."

Glancing for any attendants, and swearing under his breath, he quickly went in, closing the door behind him.

…He was surprised to see her, with only a skirt on, and with her arms folded protectively over her bound chest. She grabbed a hanger with one hand, and used it to avert his eyes…by slapping him with it.

"…Never seen chest binding before?" She asked, flushing indignantly.

"…Where's the dress?" He asked, blushing furiously, finding the wall very interesting…

"I took it off, because I couldn't get it on." She said a matter-of-factly.

"…Well, come on. It has a zipper at the back that probably got caught or something."

"I'll do it."

"How would you know how to put it on?"

"Just tell me how, and I'll put it on!"

He showed her the zipper.

"…Well? Rukia asked, finally, turning around. "How is it? Is it on right?"

Ichigo opened his mouth to approve, until a knock on the door interrupted him.

He paled. "I'm very sorry, but we have strict rules here." Said a stern voice.

When he stepped out, half the store was staring back at him. "...I can explain."

Rukia poked her head out irritably. "Ichigo, we're not done. If you think I'm satisfied, then you're wrong. Get back in here."

_Tsuzuku_

XD Ichigo has a great 'Oh shit' expression.

Next up, dinner at the Kurosaki's! It's time for Rukia to get to know her new family…only at this point, she doesn't know that she's going to meet them XD


	12. Filial piety, Iron will

**Disclaimers and Notes: I do not own Bleach…**

**Meh. There's a lot of fanwork with Ichigo and Rukia in a shopping mall…or store…or shop….** **But, never mind. It's fluff, and it's my own spin on a theme. So I shouldn't feel too guilty. But, if you want to see it done right, try 'Void', an IchiRuki Doujin. It's inspirational. It's insightful. It's…cute. You should all read it.** …**Preferably later XD Okay, one very important note. I do NOT hate shop attendants. Most of the time, they are both helpful and friendly. But you have to admit they can be very evil. So please, no bashing the attendants. They're just doing they're job…and probably trying to have a little fun, too XD**

…**Hey…I really tried to make this one silly (like the last chapter)**

…**But it turned out to be of some consequence.**

**Still, as usual, beware the fluff.**

**To the Wind  
Chapter 12**  
_By Advent Wing_

"I've been having shit luck recently." Ichigo mumbled lightly, calmly, chin on the edge of the table, and arms hanging loosely at his sides. "I mean I'd understand if it happened every now and again - But in the space of one week? I mean, what the hell?"

Rukia shrugged. "I still don't see what the problem was."

"Does NOBODY jump to conclusions in the Soul Society?" He snapped..

Rukia ate her pretzel slowly, savouring each bite while contemplating Ichigo's question. "Well…yes. It happens at some point or the other, right? Miscommunication is one of the fallbacks to a large organization." Finishing, she reached for another…and then another…and then another….

Ichigo was struck dumb by her clueless-ness, which very nearly numbed the deep, sinking feeling of defeat in his stomach. "…Just forget it." He said, more to himself than her.

Rukia glanced at him, and reached over patted his head condescendingly. "There, there. Half the week is over. The rest should be a walk in the park."

Ichigo highly doubted that. After all, look at what happened in the _first_ half. "…Yeah…and I really can't wait until this is over."

Rukia paused, and hesitantly murmured her approval. _When it's over…what will we be like after that?_

Ichigo sighed. "Well…at least it isn't one of the shops my sisters go to." _And I have to be thankful that we don't have to shop for lingerie…_ he flushed. _I wonder if that chest-binding thing is painful… _

Rukia eyed her stack of pretzels, and let her gaze travel to Ichigo's plate, which only had one. "You going to eat that?"

Ichigo glared at her wordlessly. Rukia was about to take that as a no, before breaking it into half, and offering the other end to Ichigo. "We're not having lunch, right?"

"…This IS lunch."

"Eat it." She ordered firmly, and after a moment's bemusement, he complied. Leave it to Rukia to polish of a whole plate of pretzels, and then decide to break the last one in half.

She took a sip from her pink milkshake. She was wondering when she should thank him for buying her new clothes. Rukia had wanted to thank him as they were leaving the store, but his obvious anxiety and sour mood convinced her to put it off. The more they continued, the more she convinced herself that the present wasn't the right time.

Still, she had to do it sometime. She tilted the milkshake towards him. "…It's pretty good. Try it."

Ichigo glared at the offered shake. "I hate strawberry."

Ah. This was new. "Any particular reason?"

He shrugged. "No."

"Really? I find that hard to believe." She took another sip from the milkshake. How could anyone hate this?

"Well, that's the way it is."

"C'mon! Tell me." She said, smirking. "Does it have to do with something…embarrassing?" He averted his gaze quickly. "Aha! I knew it. Tell me."

"No."

"What's the harm? I won't laugh."

"No. Stop asking."

"I will if you tell me."

"…" He groaned. "Can't you guess?"

Rukia smiled. "It's your name, isn't it?"

Ichigo threw her an icy stare. "It isn't easy to be stuck with a feminine name."

She took another sip from her milkshake. There were so many people there; it made her wonder at what else this mall had to offer. "I would suppose so. And is the fact that you don't like strawberries a desperate act to remind everyone that your name shouldn't necessary mean strawberry? And how IS it written anyway?"

"…You can be so…"

"Wise…? Why thank you." She pushed the nearly empty cup towards him. "Try it anyway."

-----

"Here. Let's go in here." Rukia said, tugging Ichigo's sleeve loosely.

"No."

"What? Why the hell not?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"No." He said firmly, irritably, tugging her on the escalator, which distracted her for a bit.

Rukia was not to be deterred easily, though, as she saw another such store on the next floor. "…There's another."

"No."

_Okay. That's it, _she fumed. After stepping off the moving staircase, she grabbed him by his arm and turned him to face her. "Why is it when we pass one of those plushie stores, you let me look, but when we pass a bookstore, you completely refuse me?"

Ichigo gave her an odd look. "Isn't it obvious? You'd spend three hours there. Once I let you go in, I'll never get you out. I'll have to sling you over my back, and then someone will call security for real, this time." He was referring to the time when she had carried out two trays of free samples in a supermarket.

"It said Free Samples!" She said indignantly. "I still think it was a mistake on the salesperson's part."

"Whatever." He glanced irritably at the bookstore, and then at her resolute gaze. "…Okay, c'mon."

Rukia grinned happily and his decision, grabbing his hand and marching into the store. Ichigo couldn't help but roll his eyes at her enthusiasm. It was, he admitted begrudgingly, endearing in a way…. Rukia stopped once they were inside, a pensive expression gracing her features. "It's huge…"

It was one of the bigger bookstores in the industry. Ichigo had never stopped to consider exactly how many books were amassed in just one store. Indeed, he took such things for granted. He gazed lightly at the lines of books, until he finally tugged Rukia's hand, beckoning her to follow. "We have time."

Rukia tore her gaze away, to frown questioningly up at him. "Time? What's going on later?"

Ichigo shrugged. "Oh. Nothing big. We're having dinner with my family."

Rukia's immediate shock that he had willingly arranged such a meeting was replaced with the dread of—

"…Does Katobeto know of this?"

"Well, no, why the hell should he?"

"Because…he'll probably…I don't know, grade us on it or something. You know how he is. He's insane."

Ichigo grinned. "Exactly why we don't tell him."

-----

Katobeto laughed. True, last night, he had been outwitted by some kind of hallucinogenic, but tonight he would have his revenge. The bug he had planted beforehand was working perfectly; as was the little AI program he had inserted to keep track of certain events.

He snickered. Right now, in fact, he knew they were…

…Not in…the house?

Damn! It must have been that annoying AI! It must have found his little program and gotten rid of it!

After a moment's irritation, he relaxed into his chair.

What now?

----

"Are you done yet?"

"Hush. This is a good part." Rukia turned the page quickly, and gasped. "I can't believe he did that."

Out of curiosity, he leaned over her shoulder to get a better look.

"I can't believe _she _did that!" She continued.

His eyebrows rose in surprise. "I thought you were into horror." He never bought romantic manga…besides, Karin always bought the latest anyway.

…Not that he routinely checked or read Karin's manga.

Rukia shrugged. "Keeping an open mind. It's all good."

Truthfully, he had never met anyone more…complex than the dark-haired girl sitting next to him. Ichigo ran a hand through bright hair. "I've never seen anyone read a novel and five manga in the space of an hour and a half. Do you even remember anything you read?"

Rukia nodded absently. Ichigo's comments weren't that important at the moment. Exactly what the hell this moron on paper was thinking, however…

He sighed. "Hurry up and pick a couple. We need to go."

Rukia seemed to gain focus for a second. "Pick a couple?"

"Yeah. Preferably four." He glared at an attendant. _Back off. We're going already!_

Rukia stared at the manga strewn around her with a sense of loss. "…Can we come back tomorrow?"

-----

Well, that did it. Ichigo was officially broke. Not just broke as in 'goodbye luxuries', but broke as in 'goodbye lunch'…

…For the next…month or two?

And what? Rukia's obviously pleased expression was supposed to make everything okay?

Despite appearances, Ichigo was a very practical guy.

_You can't eat Rukia's smile._

And yet, he took a glance, just to see if it really was worth it.

The girl in question looked up at him, and offered a true grin. One that knew she had been silly; yet it lacked any trace of regret.

It floored him; she was free of the shadows that occasionally marred her face, her eyes bright and cheerful.

That's how it should be. He really just wanted to see Rukia like this, carefree.

Ichigo couldn't help but scoff lightly, a small smile already forming on his face. He diverted his gaze to the setting sun, suddenly aware that Rukia was slipping her hand to entwine with his.

He shifted, so that the clothes and books and manga they had bought were less of a burden.

…Well, whatever. Food wasn't that important anyway. After all, buying eight manga in a day was all right, considering he never really spent money on anything else.

And the clothes were worth it, despite that horrendously embarrassing—

"Are we going to walk all the way? Are we taking a taxi? You haven't let me go on the train yet, you know." Her questions were followed with a curiously accusatory glare.

Ichigo stared up at the fall sky. "It's a nice day for a walk though."

Rukia paused, before agreeing. "Yeah. It is…"

-----

"We're home."

_**Welcome back, Sir, Madame. I trust you both had an enjoyable time?**_

Rukia hummed spiritedly to herself, while Ichigo closed the door with his foot. "Somehow, yes." He replied.

_**I've had a very interesting time playing with this external AI I found in my System MAIN. He's a very good shot.**_

Ichigo scratched his head. "An external AI?"

_**Oh yes. He was quite impolite when I found him, so I ran a bit of my own programming through him. He's quite the gentlebot now.**_

Rukia digested this with a little difficulty. "So, there's another AI like you, in you? And he came from…?"

_**Oh. He's owned by Katobeto-Sensei. But he declares that he no longer wishes to spy on you.**_

Ichigo blinked. "Oh. That's nice."

Rukia nodded her accent, and jogged quickly up the stairs.

Ichigo was still a little floored by the fact that he was being spied on.

-----

"Okay, we have thirty minutes, right? Get to it."

"Later." Ichigo muttered.

Rukia hoped onto the bed and grabbed his ear between her finger and thumb. "NOW."

"Okay. OKAY!" Ichigo cried out.

She watched as he sat in his desk, periodically glancing up from her manga. "Don't you have any to do?" He asked irritably.

"Unlike you, I prefer NOT to procrastinate my work."

"Oh. Really?"

Rukia glared at him arrogantly, sniffing at his sarcastic tone of voice. "Yes, really." She put the manga down. "I'm going to get ready. When I come out, I expect all that to be done."

Ichigo grumbled an affirmative.

-----

…_A Kuchiki wouldn't have behaved the way you did._

"I had fun." She muttered. "Leave me be."

She embraced the hot water. Telling off your inner voice was really very relaxing…

-----

"Ne, Karin-chan! Help me!" cried Yuzu desperately.

Karin arched an eyebrow. "With what?"

"There are a hundred and one things that I need to do before Ichi-nii and Rukia-neechan get here!

Karin blew a stray hair out of her vision. "Oh? Like what?"

"Like…the curtains! I haven't washed the curtains and—"

Karin rolled her eyes. "I doubt Kuchiki-san will criticize you over curtains you washed last week."

"—And then the laundry isn't done—"

"You're being silly. Why would Kuchiki-san care about our laundry?"

"—And Daddy is trying to cook dessert!"

"…Okay. Now you've given me a compelling reason to get off this couch."

-----

"What…is THAT?"

"Dessert. Or most of it. I'll need to make another one."

Isshin had to make another one because he had managed to burn half a Turkey.

Karin slapped her forehead. "THAT is NOT dessert! THAT is CHARCOAL!" She groaned. "And why the hell are you making TURKEY for DESSERT!"

Isshin seemed to be confused at Karin's outburst. "I like turkey. Besides, it's not done yet. I need to add the ice-cream, after I make another…"

Karin gripped the wall, to keep steady. The kitchen was a war zone.

Yuzu moaned.

-----

Kon was not amused.

True, he didn't need to eat.

True, what he basically did all day was fool around in Ichigo's room.

True, again, that he would in fact, contribute nothing but the occasional joke and endless torment for his two hosts.

But that didn't mean they could just LEAVE him here! This place was a nuthouse! A prison!

And Yuzu was one scary warden.

He attempted, once again, to break free of the belts that strapped him to a miniature baby carriage. "When I get out of here…." invigorated by thoughts of revenge, he struggled against his bonds.

He collapsed shortly after, sobbing, "…If I get out of here…!"

-----

"Hey. You okay?"

Startled out of her reverie, Rukia jumped at Ichigo's question. "…I'm fine!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. It was a cool night, and Rukia had selected one of the dresses they had bought today…the one he liked best, though she seemed to look okay with anything she wore.

"Fine, huh?" He muttered disbelievingly. "Okay, spill. What's up?"

Rukia didn't notice her fingers playing with the hem of her skirt. "I'm fine!" She maintained.

"Do me favour." He said, stopping their progress a few feet from the clinic. "…Don't act."

Rukia blinked incomprehensively. "…Don't…act?"

"Yeah. Don't act."

Rukia swallowed. "Why?"

_Because, I want them to see you, the way I see you._ "Because you being natural is best. They smell fear."

Rukia frowned, her curious expression replaced with an angry one. "You…!"

But Ichigo had already left her side, and knocked on his own door…only to have Karin jerk it open. "Ichi-nii!" She cried. "Kuchiki-san!" She paused for a moment to catch her breath, before putting on a strained smile. "…Come in."

-----

With Karin on his left and Yuzu on his right, Isshin behaved reasonably well.

Reasonably well…despite being Isshin.

"Rukia-chan? When am I going to have grandchildren?"

Rukia choked on her food, about the same time Ichigo cracked the glass in his hand. Karin winced. Plastic next time. Plastic.

Yuzu let out a hollow laugh. "Daddy, Onii-chan isn't really married yet, remember? Besides, he's not ready for that yet…" She trailed off, to stare at Ichigo, her eyes big and watery. "…You're not ready for that yet, right Ichi-nii?"

"On the contrary, Yuzu! I hope that Ichigo and Rukia-chan have consummated—"

"So, what exactly do you two have to do to earn your grade?" Karin cut in leisurely. "I'm curious."

Ichigo glanced around conspiratorially, suddenly getting up to check behind a nearby flowerpot.

Rukia leaned forward on her elbows, and with a deadpan expression replied, "We don't really know."

Karin opened her mouth to say something, but closed it quickly. After a pause she tried again. "What do you mean, you don't know?"

Ichigo sat down. "The teacher is a lunatic. He's insane. I have no idea how the hell he's grading us."

Rukia shrugged. "We have to write reports each night…" She glared at Ichigo. "…And I have a feeling that that will play a big part…"

Isshin's expression turned deadly serious. "This sensei…what is his name?"

Ichigo blinked. "Pops?"

"Well, if he's preventing you from consummating—" Rukia's elbow slipped, and Ichigo growled angrily at his father, who laughed heartily. "Oh yes, I wonder if the turkey is done?"

Karin and Yuzu paled. "You made another one?"

"Of course I did. Since the oven ruined the last one, I popped it in the microwave with the potatoes and eggs…"

Karin groaned, as Yuzu and Ichigo ran into the Kitchen.

"Is it a family recipe?" Asked Rukia, oblivious to Ichigo's swearing and Yuzu's frantic cries.

"Well…it's my recipe. The turkey goes with ice-cream, but I thought of potatoes and eggs this afternoon."

Rukia nodded. "I like ice-cream."

Isshin beamed. "Really? So do I! That's how I thought of it! Actually, my dear wife, bless her, told me that it had a unique taste…"

Karin just took a long leisurely sip form her glass.

-----

"…Onii-chan…"

"Yeah?"

"…Can you and Rukia-neechan help clean up later?"

"Yeah." He picked wiped a bit of the mess of his face. "Why is it that it exploded AFTER we opened the damn door?"

Yuzu shrugged helplessly.

-----

"Rukia-chan, do you have any previous experience in relationships?"

Rukia flushed, a little indignantly. "Ah…what kind of relationships?"

Karin elbowed her father. "Dad. Quit it."

Isshin face fell comically. "I just want to know!"

Rukia swallowed. "Ah, well, no, I haven't had any real experience…"

Isshin stared incredulously. "So does that mean…Ichigo was your first?"

_First WHAT? FIRST WHAT? _Rukia swallowed, and went with a vague "I suppose."

She stared back at two gaping goldfish. "…What did I say?"

------

"…What did you say?"

"I don't really know."

"No really, Rukia. I need to know what you said." He asked roughly, scrubbing a plate vigorously.

"I don't know!" She slammed a plate into the pile so hard that Ichigo was worried that it may have cracked. "I…obviously said something stupid."

Ichigo turned the tap off. "Well, whatever." If he weren't so worried at what his father would think and say to OTHER PEOPLE from now on, he'd note Rukia's truly desolate expression.

Her pale face was taught with worry, and she clenched a fist to her side angrily. "I knew this was a bad idea. I should have acted, should have rehearsed."

Ichigo growled. "Stop that. You're being an idiot. You should watch what you—"

Rukia turned on him angrily. "You're the one who told me to act natural!"

"Yeah, I did! You have a problem with that?"

"…I should have known! I should have done what I knew was right!"

Ichigo couldn't help but find the need to defend his choice…without telling the truth. "Yeah, you're always right. You say you're ten times older, but you sure as hell—"

Rukia flushed, angrily, rising fury clouding her judgement. _A Kuchiki wouldn't have acted the way I did… _"What the hell do you know? I've suffered more in my lifetime than you could ever imagine!"

Ichigo paused, shocked at her outburst. Then, he rose to the bait. "Suffering! I've had my share of suffering! And how am I supposed to know anything about you, when you always close yourself off!"

"Bullshit! You're such a damn hypocrite! I've opened myself more to you than anyone else! It's YOU who's closed yourself off!" She hissed.

Ichigo glared angrily, about to retort, when he heard Karin's voice. "Hey, guys, come here!"

Rukia wouldn't meet his gaze, and instead stormed off in the direction of Karin's voice. Ichigo ran a hand through his hair irritably. "What the hell is your problem?" He asked the empty air.

-----

"I have but one, very simple question."

Ichigo nodded. "Shoot." He muttered, glaring at Rukia, who had her fake smile back on again.

"When am I going to have grandchildren?"

Ichigo groaned. "Never, if you keep this up!"

Isshin frowned. "But…"

"We aren't married. We aren't even IN a relationship. This is a PROJECT. Hell, the last rule IS no se—" Rukia stomped hard on Ichigo's foot. "—Ow."

An uneasy silence settled over the group. "…How about dessert, then?" Isshin asked.

-----

"Hey, you and Ichi-nii having a fight?"

Rukia's smile slipped fractionally, but she managed a vague sound of confusion. She relaxed into the couch.

Karin blinked at her sudden dip in IQ, but pressed on, a little hesitant about talking so frankly with a girl she barely knew…

Or rather…with a girl that she had known for weeks, but never really talked to…

Yes, Karin was quite aware that Rukia was the girl that Ichigo had been hanging around with lately, and, like any good little sister, she was curious about the nature of their relationship.

"He's pretty thick-skulled, and always worried about his appearance, but deep down inside, he's still Ichi-nii."

Rukia paused at this. "I guess…he is frustratingly stubborn…I…can't seem to get through to him sometimes…"

Karin grinned. "That's Ichi for you. He's really sweet sometimes, you know."

Rukia sighed. "I know that."

This time, Karin cocked an eyebrow in surprise. "You do?"

"Well…yeah. He's…he can be really doting sometimes…" Rukia muttered, aware of Karin's stare.

"Oh." Karin stared, wondering how anyone out of her family could draw to a conclusion like that. "Okay."

Rukia fidgeted for a while, before deciding it was safe to ask Karin about what she had told Isshin and her. "I…I said something stupid…to your dad, didn't I, Karin-chan?"

Karin scoffed. "Well, Dad kinda took it the wrong way when you said that Ichi was your first."

"…I see…" She didn't, really.

"Yeah. He's like that. Always obsessed over…stuff like that. He's got pictures and videos of first everything…"

It looked like Karin didn't get it, either.

Karin continued. "But I don't see what the big deal is, about this."

Rukia shrugged. "Me neither. Surely, you've had many firsts."

"Sure I have, heck, just yesterday…"

Rukia frowned. "But you know…er…which 'first' was he referring to?"

"…I thought you knew."

"I thought you did."

"Well, I don't. That's why I asked you."

"…Didn't I ask you?"

They bought paused for a while, slow and easy smiles growing, as an understanding was reached. "Here we go!" Yuzu interrupted, carrying three bowls of ice cream.

Rukia blinked. "This is…strawberry?"

"Yeah. We have to hide it 'cause Ichi-nii hates strawberry."

Yuzu giggled, sitting down next to Rukia. "Yep! But since he's helping Dad with the kitchen, we can eat all we want." She beamed good-naturedly at Rukia. "I hope Ichi has been nice to you."

Rukia shrugged. "Well…I guess so…"

Yuzu eyed her critically, before nodding, seemingly satisfied. "…What's your hometown like, Rukia-neechan?"

Rukia couldn't help but smile at the suffix. "Well…it's a lot different…in comparison to here."

"Oh. Where is it exactly?"

"Oh…far away, I guess."

Karin fit in a question of her own. "Any family?"

Rukia paused. "…Not really. I…have a step-brother."

Yuzu clapped her hands enthusiastically. "You have an older brother? That's great!"

-----

"The girls like her, you know." Isshin commented, watching as Ichigo paused in his cleaning in an attempt to catch a bit of their conversation. He straightened at his father's words.

"I guess." He moved to the sink.

"Well, what do YOU think of her?" Isshin asked, mopping the floor.

Ichigo shrugged. "Not sure."

"Hey! A man needs to take charge or—"

"—Whatever. This is just a project anyway." _Sooner or later, I'll force down all this crap that I've been feeling lately…_

"Ah, but you're enjoying yourself, aren't you?"

Ichigo snorted. "Bull. I've had the most crap luck—"

"Ichigo," Isshin began, ceasing his mopping. "You're enjoying yourself, aren't you?"

Ichigo sighed, memories of the week beginning to weigh down his shield of indifference. "Kind of. Some parts were exceptionally bitchy…" And others…like that rainy night…were really—

"But it doesn't matter."

Isshin raised an eyebrow at that. "Why not?"

"'Cause." Ichigo replied, lamely.

"Cause you're a wimp."

Ichigo stared at him oddly. "I think that maybe, just maybe, you're insane."

"Insane? On the contrary, I'm perfectly right. If you truly desire something, with perseverance and the power of love, YOU CAN PREVAIL!"

Ichigo pinched the bridge of his nose, a headache coming fast. "…How can ANYONE say that with a straight face?"

Isshin continued, oblivious to his son's aggravation, slamming one foot onto a stool in the classic 'I proclaim' pose. "YES! WITH THE POWER OF LOVE!"

-----

"Good night! Take care of Rukia-neechan, Ichi!" Yuzu shouted happily.

Karin grinned. "When you come back, bring Onee-san with you, okay?" Rukia couldn't help a happy flush from spreading across her face.

Isshin gave her a hug and whispered very quickly – "Grandchildren. Grandchildren. Don't forget. And you may need to be a bit more aggressive…"

Ichigo grabbed his father by the back of the shirt, but was enveloped in a hug. "OI!"

"My little boy is a man!"

"Why don't YOU be a man?"

-----

"…Things turned out okay, Rukia." Ichigo said, after a long period of silence. Rukia nodded, lightly, but said nothing. Ichigo sighed, glaring at ground, and the occasional stray dog. He couldn't for the life of him, figure out what was making her so testy. After enjoying the cool breeze of the night for a moment or two, he tried again. "…I was right, you know. They liked you."

Rukia jerked, and after a moment's hesitation, a soft smile formed on her features. "I guess."

Ichigo took this as a _very_ good sign. "So…about what happened in the kitchen…you want to talk about it?"

She glanced at him, briefly, out of the corner of her eye, before going back to staring at the path in front of them flatly. "Not really."

Ichigo sighed. "Look, what I said…I wasn't thinking."

Rukia snorted. "Which happens often."

"Hey! I'm trying to apologize here! You're making it difficult to—"

Rukia slowed to a stop. "…Maybe I am…" Ichigo eyed her warily. "…What's over there?" She asked, looking over to a fairly dark area. Despite it being a forest, she could see stone paths, and architecture that was comfortingly familiar…

"Shrine grounds. And a park next to it." The river to their left had cut across them, into the forest to the right. The road ahead had become a stone arch, a bridge.

"Park? Where they put the vehicles? Or the one where people have picnics?" She leaned against the stone when they had reached it, not too surprised to see her own reflection staring back at her, the moon at her back.

"…Why? You want to have a picnic?"

"Maybe…"

"Then we'll have a picnic…under two conditions."

It was Rukia's turn to eye him warily. "What?"

He moved closer, and Rukia found herself backing against stone. Her surprise was momentary. She sent him a flat look that said _Try anything, and I'll kick you where you'll feel it._

"One, you tell me why you made such a big deal out of tonight."

Rukia sputtered. Ichigo arched an eyebrow. "Hurry up."

Rukia shoved him away, and went to the other side of the bridge. The water reflected the moon. "…It's stupid, but…I…" She sighed. "I just wanted them to like me…" Ichigo remained silent, choosing to listen, rather than blurt out a _what's not to like? _"…I never had a family that liked me…always screwed things up somehow. Decided that…you know…" She exhaled. "…Maybe it was me." Ichigo embraced Rukia from behind, allowing himself the little display of affection. _She needs it…_"Maybe it was my fault." She continued. "Even when the Kuchiki adopted me…"

"You're always blaming yourself," he muttered. Rukia jerked, as if she'd been hit.

She laughed, hollowly. "Please. You said it yourself…how I am…"

"I find it appealing…" He swallowed. "…Sometimes…" _Shut up. Shut up, now._

Rukia felt the heat overtake her face. "W-What…?" She was suddenly aware of his proximity….

He pushed away quickly. "…Anyway…."

"…Yeah…" She mumbled.

The silence was getting to him. "You know…Karin and Yuzu like you a lot…and my Pops too…" Rukia glanced at him quizzically. "…Maybe you don't need to hide, from now on. You can act like you're visiting…or something. In the daytime, at least."

Rukia gazed up at him, surprise etched in her face. "Are you sure—"

"What? You think I'm lying when I say that they like you? Moron." He grinned toothily at her. Rukia couldn't help but smile back.

"…Let's go home." She said, as she slipped her hand into his. "…Oh, wait. What's the second condition?"

"Oh yeah…uh…I wanted to read the manga you bought today…" He shrugged embarrassedly at Rukia's dubious expression. "…Keep an open mind, right?" His eyebrows arched as he saw Rukia hide a growing laugh behind her hand.

"…I don't see what's so funny…!"

_Tsuzuku_

**Isshin's got a point. He married Masaki-san, didn't he?**


	13. Love and War! On enemy ground, halt not!

**Disclaimer and Notes: I would love to own Bleach right now. Then Kubo-sama would work for me, and he'd have to tell me every little detail about the plot.**

**And maybe I could learn a thing or two about plotting! It's all good (for me)!**

**XD**

N/A: Okay. I can't even bring myself to TYPE the length of time this fic has been on hiatus.

But it's revised, re-read, spellchecked for the hundredth time, and ready to go back to the internet. Now excuse me while I go drown my guilt.

**To the Wind  
Chapter 13**_  
By AdventWing_

"…Katobeto just called.

Rukia's gaze snapped to his eyes. "What did he say?" She asked, unconsciously thumb-marking her place in one of the many manga she had purchased yesterday.

He sank into the couch next to their bed. "I wasn't really paying attention. I was swearing at him for spying on us last night."

"…Last night…?" She asked hesitantly. They had gone straight to bed that night, they were both so tired by the time they got home. When she woke up, all she could think about was what he had said last night. _Appealing._ She flushed. She never really thought of herself that way.

"You know, at dinner?"

"…Oh, right." She paused. "Wait! You SWORE at him?"

Ichigo threw up his hands, "OI! I said he was SPYING on us! Why the hell are you mad at me?"

Rukia started hefting pillows at him.

"I didn't call him half the names I had in mind, Alex cut me off!" He said, dodging the fluffy missiles.

Rukia set her weapons down as restrain settling on her features. "Then?"

"Then? Then he called again."

"Brilliant." She muttered.

"He asked me about our reports." He scoffed derisively. "The way he goes on about those, it's like our whole grade depend on them or something."

"We can only hope." She replied. "…I just have this feeling he has something planned as an evaluation…"

Eyeing her current state of dress as little as possible, he asked, "…when exactly are you going to get out of bed?"

Rukia settled comfortably against the fluffy pillows. The blanket was strewn around her, the sheets wrinkled. Burying herself in her manga, she retorted, "Well, I don't know. I'm quite happy sleeping in for once."

"You've already slept in. To sleep in you need to actually sleep."

She gasped dramatically. "You're giving me a lecture about sleeping in!"

"You're NOT sleeping in!"

Rukia pointedly ignored him, and partook to a more enjoyable pursuit.

"C'mon. We need to get ready to go."

"Go? Where?"

He picked up a random volume and flipped through it. "Hey…this one's—" He was cut off when Rukia picked it artfully out of his hands. "HEY!"

She tsked at him; putting it in a pile beside her. "Don't start at the end. That's a good one."

Ichigo frowned. "Karin already has that one. I should know. I bought it."

"Well, she didn't have the last few." She grinned slyly at him. "Maybe I'll lend it to her later."

"…_You'll _lend it her?"

"Well, yes. It is mine. And considering the fact that I've borrowed so many of hers…"

"…But I bought it!"

"Well, okay then. You can read it first." She continued, enjoying the how fun it was to tease him. It was a rush like no other, different from when she lectured him. "Maybe you could learn something from it."

"Learn? What the hell could I learn from—" He squinted at the title. "…I'd be more worried about what YOU'RE learning from Kodomo no Omocha." He did a double take as he caught the hands of the clock. "…Damn. It's late…Rukia," he finally snarled, "I told you to get changed!"

She pointedly ignored him. Ichigo tugged on her blanket and was met with immediate resistance. He met her warning glare with one of his own. Gripping the soft material with tight-fisted hands, he eased up a little.

Then, he yanked the blanket away from her, when he felt her grip grow slack in response to his. It was with triumphant flourish and a haughty grin that he raised the conquered blanket above his head as she reached for it.

He probably would have won the round if Rukia hadn't tackled him.

He wasn't really surprised, more disorientated than anything else. One moment he was upright, the next he was pinned to the ground. He shook his head to clear it. _This is the second time. It better not become a regular experience-_"…No more TV for you." He said, scowling up at her triumphant face. He struggled briefly, the large blanket caught between them. "Get off." _Damn. _She was using it to prevent him from struggling too much, her knees used to pin it and him to the ground.

Rukia smirked in reply. "Pathetic. Isn't this kind of embarrassing for you?"

Truth be told, it was. _And in more ways than one. _Ichigo's expression darkened considerably. "I could throw you off in a second. I'm giving you an opportunity to prevent your little ass from getting owned. You do realize that you weigh…" He frowned thoughtfully. "…What the hell have you been eating?"

A thoughtful frown crossed her face, as she quickly assessed all the new foods she had been trying. Ichigo grinned when he felt her ease up a little. Lifting her upwards, he threw her effortlessly to the side. He was just about to pin her down and give her a piece of his mind, when she simply grasped him, and with surprising ease, rolled the both of them over so that his back slammed against the floor once more.

He grunted at the impact. Rukia, however, sighed, almost lazily, and crossed her arms over her chest, while straddling his abdomen. "Please. Are you sure you did Karate? Didn't they teach you any grappling techniques?"

Ichigo, not to be outdone for long, tried again to turn the tables on her. He got creative. The blanket was still caught between them, so he tried to use it to his advantage, as she did.

His back slammed onto the floor for a third time that day.

"Say it." She drawled.

"Screw you."

"It's really easy." She said a matter-of-factly and then began stressing his would-be-plea in a high-pitched voice. "Just cry…_Mercy! Oh please, Great Shinigami Rukia! Mercy!"_

"I have a better idea," he ground out. "You get off, or we're not going for that freaking _picnic_."

Rukia was dismayed for a moment, but then glared at him challengingly. "What if I decide to just stay here all day?"

Ichigo scoffed at that. "You can't stay on top of me all day. You won't get to go on the damn picnic then."

Rukia shrugged. "We can go tomorrow. Or the day after. There's no rush." She smirked. "Hearing you cry for mercy, however…"

"Hell no. If you think I'm going to—"

He let out a grunt of surprise when Rukia leaned in, grabbing the front of his shirt. "…Don't let me get…rough."

Ichigo swallowed. He had noticed that the tone of her voice varied…harsh when she was serious, or light when she was relaxed. In this position, its current silky soft quality was hell on his nerves. He averted his eyes, finding the wallpaper a good focal point. _Damnit. Why the hell does she have to have such an effect on me? _"Hell no."

"Fine then. One word. Just say _m__ercy_."

He tried again to buck her off. "…No."

Rukia sighed dramatically, and then cracked her knuckles gleefully. "Too bad."

"…What the hell are you—OW!"

--

"…"

"You had to do it the hard way." She said pacing herself so she'd walk alongside him. "I told you that you would have begged for mercy either way."

Ichigo harumphed irritably, almost embarrassedly. "I wasn't even trying."

"Ah," She began in a singsong tone, "So that's why you whimpered like a child when I locked your arm! You were trying to lull me into a false sense of security!" She clucked at him condescendingly. "Sneaky."

"Did you expect me to take you seriously? The only girl that's able to beat the shit out of me is Tatsuki—"

Rukia buried her heel into his calf quickly, skipping ahead while he grit his teeth in pain. "Well then, you'd better start training or something." She said merrily. "The number of girls who can beat the shit out of you have been bumped up to two!"

--

"I hate picnics." Ishida muttered darkly.

"Ah…you do? I kind of like them." Orihime replied hesitantly.

Tatsuki rolled her eyes. "Ishida, all your sentences since yesterday have begun with 'I hate…'. Any particular reason why?"

Ishida fixed her with a cold stare, and Tatsuki felt a slow chill work its way down her spine.

Then, he shrugged.

Orihime sighed. True, Ishida wasn't very…amiable today…but surely there was a reason for it. "He probably used up all his manners on the trip," she heard Tatsuki mutter to her.

"…Where are they?" Ishida glanced sideways at Chad. "Where did he say for us to meet again?"

Orihime rubbed her head embarrassedly. "Can't remember. Tatsuki?"

Tatsuki shook her head in a negative.

Chad paused lengthily before replying. "Yamamoto Park."

"…That's pretty close by. Really close. Are you sure?"

Chad paused, again, before replying. "Yes."

--

"…Huh. They ain't here yet."

"What? Who's not here yet?" Rukia asked, hoping onto a fence beside them.

Ichigo shrugged, she was nearly eye level with him, and continued on. "…Maybe they're already inside. We ARE kind of late." He fixed her with a glare, and then ambled on through the large wooden arch.

Rukia blinked, and then frowned despairingly. "And just whose fault is that?"

--

"…Are you sure?"

Chad replied immediately now. "No."

"…Then why are we here?"

"Well nobody had any other ideas, so I thought that Yamamoto was the best choice." Chad answered, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

Tatsuki groaned, and reached into her back pocket. "…Morons. This is why people have phones…." She paused, the hand that was going for her cell phone suddenly hanging slack. "But Ichigo doesn't have a cell phone…does he?"

"Nope." Chad said.

"Rukia-chan has one." Orihime began tentatively, but she too paused thoughtfully. "…But does anyone have her number…?"

--

"Yours!"

"It was completely your fault."

"Damn it. It was your fault! You wouldn't get out of bed!"

"On the contrary. You didn't tell me that we were expecting guests!"

"Why the heck else would I have asked you to hurry up?" he demanded.

Rukia flushed. "I never thought you'd invite them to a picnic…."

"…" Ichigo pushed an errant branch out of the way. "I just decided it." He said flatly. "Anything wrong with that?"

Rukia eyed him carefully. "Nothing wrong…" she began, "But you could have asked me."

"…I thought you would have wanted them over."

Rukia's blush darkened, and she began to stumble over her words. "Uh…well…" She sighed, feeling the corners of her lips tug up into a smile. "I mean, it'd be okay after the picnic…so yeah, I do, but did you? You're always whining about them…" She scrunched up her face to look more Ichigo-like when she said that.

"Who the hell is whining?"

Picturesque. That was it. It definitely held her interest. "Hey, Ichigo, let's try going over there." She tugged on his sleeve, forcing him to accompany her.

"Where?" He asked shifting the heavy basket Rukia had prepared earlier. _Kinda heavy for a picnic basket. _"…Hey…not bad," he murmured in appreciation. A tree for shade, soft grass, and a hill that gave them a good view of the forest. Clear skies more or less cinched the spot as good. You didn't need anything else for a picnic. Rukia quickly grabbed the basket, and began rummaging around. Curious, he leaned over peer into it…and received a face full of red chequered cloth.

"…You're kidding."

"It isn't a picnic without the cloth. Spread it."

Ichigo was amused, and because of that, obeyed, spreading one of his dad's favourite tablecloths on the soft grass. "When did you become an expert on picnics?"

Rukia froze, and then scoffed haughtily. "I was always an expert on picnics."

Ichigo tried again to sneak a peak into the basket, before Rukia slapped his hand away quickly. "Just what do you think you're doing?" She asked, glancing up at him.

Ichigo glared at her, bemused. "I want the food."

Rukia blinked. "Food?"

--

"Okay. I have a feeling it's the park next to the shrine." Chad sweated at their expressions. "No, really, this time." He scratched his head thoughtfully. "I remember Ichigo saying something about that…"

Ishida sighed. "Let's go home—_yow_!" Orihime clapped him on the back hard, causing him to jump a bit. "…Inoue-san?" he asked.

She beamed at him. "…Sorry, Ishida-kun! That's not an option!"

--

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT PICNICS REQUIRE FOOD?"

"WHAT THE HELL ELSE WOULD YOU DO ON A PICNIC?"

Rukia was REALLY blushing now. "Well…er…you see…at first I thought it was about food…but then I figured that today's definition of the picnic changed…from my research…most of the time, the food is brought as a pretence."

Ichigo's eyes narrowed. He didn't get it.

"So…I thought why do we need the food?" she swallowed. "Uh, no. I mean, since we weren't going to do…any of…that, I brought some stuff to keep us occupied." She continued. "…Instead of…that." She shook her head embarrassedly. _Yes, okay…it was most probably wishful thinking._ She thumped herself mentally. _Baka._

Ichigo frowned, as he searched through his mind furiously. What the hell does she mean by pretense…pretense to what? Pretense…on a picnic…between a guy and a girl…

"—Your nose is bleeding!" Rukia cried.

"…No it's not."

"Yes, it is!"

"…No…no, it's not."

--

"Okay Sado. There are TWO Shrines with parks next to them. We have a choice between the bigger and more well known one, which has a fountain somewhere in the middle, with stone pathways and ice-cream vendors and the like inside, and was built in—"

Chad sweated. "The other one." He cut in.

"—It was also once wholly owned by…the other one?" Ishida paused. "Are you sure?"

Chad nodded once, and quickly. "…Very." He replied.

--

"It must be the weather," she said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Hm." He murmured. How was it possible for someone's lap to be both comfortable _and_ uncomfortable at the same time? PARADOX! "So, what's in the basket?"

Rukia didn't respond at first.

"Oh c'mon. Just tell me." He grinned up at her. "Is it funny?"

"…" She seemed to struggle with herself.

"Hah! I bet it is." He went sober, and glanced up thoughtfully into her face. "I won't laugh."

Rukia sniffed then, involuntarily attempting to maintain some of her dignity. "…Board games."

He laughed.

--

"Okay. This better be it." Ishida muttered, glaring irritably at the large wooden arch.

Orihime sidled up to him. "C'mon, Ishida-kun! It wasn't that bad! We got to visit many park entrances!"

He stared at her pointedly, and she met his indifference with a beaming smile. "…I guess." He muttered.

Tatsuki sighed. "You'd better be right, Sado…"

--

"Great. I'm bleeding again." Ichigo muttered, running finger tips across his forehead as Rukia knocked them away to deal with it herself.

"You laughed." She replied, her tone unforgiving and accusing.

"It was funny." He protested. She held the rock above his face once more. "Okay, OKAY!" He sighed in relief when she put it down.

"You know…" He picked at the grass distractedly. "…I'm wondering. Why did you even bother to consider the other 'definition' of a picnic?"

Rukia just couldn't figure out why her stomach seemed to twist. "…Well…I never even really considered it." She said defensively. "That's why I brought board games."

He snickered. She flicked his forehead irritably. "Ow…so…you didn't even think of it?" He asked, a little more serious this time.

Her flush darkened. "…W-What are you asking…?" She was suddenly caught in the gaze of his amber eyes.

When did he get up?

"Lately…this whole week…it's been like this…" He murmured, tracing her jaw with his fingers. In the shade of the tree, the leaves created patterns on her face that he traced as he leaned in.

_Okay…I wanted this…_ She admitted, feeling felt her head grow light…watched his face inch closer…felt her eyes close….

And suddenly he was gone. She bit her lip to prevent herself from calling his name. Ichigo pressed a hand to his face. " I—"

She grabbed his elbow before he could stand up and pressed her lips to his. Eyes wide open; he was far too shocked to respond. She let him go, slightly disappointed, her head filing with a familiar buzz. Not even a second had passed before he moved forward to catch her before she could part fully. She rejoiced internally, kissing him back tentatively, and when they parted, she was feeling like her heart had stopped for the duration of that kiss. "Again?" She asked, distractedly, as he leaned into her for another.

--

"Okay. So, theoretically, if we wander around enough, we'll find them."

"Unless they've left." Ishida muttered.

Tatsuki eyed him irritably. "Sunshine-san, Sunshine-san, you make me happy when times are grey."

Orihime blinked at the rising tension between them, and then hopping between them, looped her right arm with Ishida's left, and Tatsuki's left with her right. "So they're in here somewhere, right Chad? Then let's find them!"

Chad smiled, bemused at the scene. "Yeah, let's go."

--

"Don't stop." She breathed hungrily. Ichigo halted the attention he was placing on her neck. "I said 'don't'!" She exhaled harshly, pulling him back up to her lips. He resisted, his eyes wary.

"Don't worry." She ordered softly, sensing his confusion. She placed light kisses along his jaw, her eyes cloudy, and half-closed. "…Just stop thinking…"

Stop thinking…how could she ask that? He had to. _There are just too many things I have to think about…she can let me do this to her, but she won't tell me how— _His train of thought derailed when she pulled him on top of her.

Rukia herself was only aware of one very acute feeling. Need.

--

"Ne…Ishida-kun? You don't seem to be in a good mood today…is something the matter? Is there anything I can do?" Orihime asked, falling back to talk to him.

"Huh? No…not really."

Orihime poked him teasingly. "C'mon. Tell me what's up."

He hesitated. "…It's just that…"

She frowned. She couldn't hear him. His voice was too quiet…

"…Last night…"

She moved a little closer.

"…I didn't sleep too well."

Her face fell. "Whaaaaat? Is that all?"

He nodded. She considered him for a minute, and then her eyes studied his carefully. "What was keeping you up?"

He jerked in surprise. "Uh. Homework." He answered, and it wasn't really a lie….

Orihime noted his reaction with satisfaction. "Aha. Homework is it? Funny. What was really keeping you up?"

He was thinking up a reply when Tatsuki _screamed._

"Tatsuki?!" Orihime cried, rushing to her voice.

When she skidded to a halt, she found Chad and Tatsuki lying prone on the floor. Ishida dashed past her, checking Tatsuki, and then heading to Chad. "They...fainted?"

He pulled Chad so that he'd rest on the tree. Orihime was frantically fanning Tatsuki. Ichigo and Rukia just _sat _there.

"So, what happened?" He asked, eying their flustered nature and their rumpled clothes. _No freaking way._

"They fainted." Rukia replied helpfully. Ishida focused on Ichigo's averted face.

"Hm. Fainted?"

"—Tatsuki! Are you okay?"

Tatsuki got up, albeit a little woozily. "I saw…something…."

Ishida arched an eyebrow. Rukia shrugged. Ichigo flush darkened considerably.

"Kurosaki?" He asked suspiciously.

Ichigo just _sat _there.

"What did you see?" Orihime asked worriedly.

Tatsuki shook her head to clear it. "I saw…" She looked around her. "I saw…an octopus."

Ishida slipped on his way to the both of them. "A what?" He mumbled, lifting his head up from his position on the floor.

"A GIANT…octopus! It was…right there!" She turned to Ichigo and Rukia. You two saw it right!?

Rukia hid the Memory Neutralizer behind her back. "Yes!" she said.

Ichigo just stared at Tatsuki slack-jawed, awed at the level of events that she was willing to believe. "…Yes."

Ishida shook his head. _On dry land? Impossible. Octopus are incable of breathing on dry land. It could have been a hollow. It could have been a hollow octopus. It could have been— _He shook his head. _WHAT THE HELL THERE ARE NO GIANT OCTOPUS THAT CAN BREATHE ON LAND WHAT THE HECK AM I THINKING?_

Chad suddenly sprang to his feet, his fists up. He looked around, past everyone and their bewildered expressions. Suddenly aware of them, he relaxed a little. "…Octopus." He said, equally confused. "…I saw one."

--

"Okay! Confess! What were you two doing?" Orihime asked, her eyes sparkly.

Rukia swallowed at the force of her questioning. "Well…we were playing a game."

Orihime had lured Rukia away on the pretence of finding a public bathroom. Once they were sufficiently away from the group, she had begun her own version of The Inquisition.

"Aw, Rukia! Tell me the truth! Tatsuki would never scream at a giant octopus!"

Rukia blinked, shocked. "Why not?"

"Why? She loves octopus." Orihime said a-matter-of-factly.

Rukia nodded, enlightened. "I see."

"So, c'mon! Tell me what happened!"

Rukia shook her head. "S-sorry. I can't even think about it without…"

Orihime made quick calming gestures. "Okay, okay! But have you decided on your feelings?"

"Well…I decided that…that I like him…in a romantic sense. Maybe I even…love him…." She whispered the last part, and her face went up in flames at her confession. "I mean, we just kissed. Again."

For Orihime, the air was caught somewhere, on its way to the lungs or on its way out, and she choked as a squeal struggled out.

Rukia continued heedless. "And after yesterday…I felt like…I could be—"

Orihime finally managed to get that squeal out.

Rukia, eyes the size of dinner plates, hushed her hurriedly. Orihime escaped her grip and began bouncing up and down…and all over the place.

When Rukia had finally caught up, Orihime had decided to envelop her friend in a quick hug. "That's great! Now, you need to tell him."

Rukia shook off the warmth of the hug. "Tell him?!" she squeaked.

Coughing, she tried as best as possible to maintain her cool. "I was thinking about it…but…it's hard…" _I'm not even sure…of my own feelings…if I _want_ to have these feelings!_

Orihime paused at this, her smile slipping fractionally. "…it is isn't it? Hard I mean."

Rukia sighed heavily. "Damn it. It's not easy, you know? I mean, I can safely say I'm in…love…but what if he doesn't feel the same way I do? What if he…just doesn't like me the way I…do…?" Orihime placed a hand on her shoulder comfortingly, as she continued. "…that's just it, you know…I can suspect, but I can't be completely…sure…." She trailed off.

"And…there's a problem with that?" Orihime asked.

"…Yes."

_I could get hurt._

And she didn't want that, no. There was so much to lose. She wasn't like other people.

She was _dead._

Orihime grimaced at Rukia's expression. "Rukia…you can't keep doing this to yourself."

"…Doing?"

"You have more than enough reason to believe that Ichigo may feel exactly the same way." Orihime continued.

"Then why hasn't he said anything? I mean, with the way he acts with me I don't know if he loves me or..." _Or if he just likes me. _And improbable as it was, maybe he just liked her because she didn't mind getting intimate?

No. Ichigo wasn't like that.

"It doesn't matter what he thinks. You have to stop doubting yourself, you…" She trailed off now. How was she supposed to tell Rukia that she'd regret it if she kept doing this? Her main argument (that she herself regretted not telling Ichigo her own feelings) was the one she couldn't use…

She finally sighed, and grinned at her. "More than that, if he doesn't realize that he does feel the same way, you can help him along."

_Tsuzuku_


	14. Checkmate?

Disclaimer and Notes: I don't own Bleach, it's out of my hands, and please do not sue, for I'm just a fan

**Oh screw the disclaimer. After 13 of them, people should get the message XD**

**N/A: And here's 14. Just three more to go and then I'm back on track.**

**Also, I need to whack Shiro later. There's like a bunch of errors littered across chaps 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... ETC. GRAH.**

**To the Wind  
Chapter 14**  
_By AdventWing_

Not more than a few feet away from him, Tatsuki and Ishida were engaged in a very fierce game of Snakes and Ladders. Ichigo wondered, as he sat by himself, if Chad suspected something after all. He was staring at him rather hard.

…Well the flashy thingy never failed before. One thing about that Soul Society stuff, they made it good. Well, unless you count Kon, of course. Who the hell was retarded enough to make someone like him into a soldier? I mean, if people like him were on the front lines of a battle, you had to wonder at the competency of their enemies.

He didn't know what he was more shocked about; that Rukia may actually want him, or that Tatsuki and Chad had wandered over to them when they did.

Following the 'Rukia may like me' train, he was struck by a new thought: IF she did (which was highly unlikely by the way) exactly when did she start to like him?

And…just why the hell didn't he notice?

After all, she's acted completely the same to him since the night they met. …Well, okay, he had to admit, she was smiling more now. True smiles, not those irritating fake ones she so enjoyed putting on. And she laughed more. And talked more. REAL talk, about her feelings and…

…Wait a minute here…since the night they met…?

He shook his head thoroughly. Let's say, hypothetically, on some level, Rukia liked him.

How dense was he not to notice? All those times he kissed her, maybe, just maybe, she liked it? She didn't think that it was just a 'modern-day' thing?

…It blew his mind.

Oh, he had options.

Option one, do nothing.

Option two, fess up, and throw whatever worries about the future that he had to the freaking wind.

_It wouldn't last. She'd have to leave. Her inevitable departure is what's been keeping you from telling her exactly what the hell she does to you in WORDS and not actions._

It was doubts like those that turned his resolve to mush. When exactly did it start to bother him? When exactly did he forget her position in this world?

_When did she get a position in mine?_

But wait just a minute. How sure was he that he liked her? She could just be…uh… just like him.

Hah. Rukia being hormonal. That's hilarious.

So Ichigo, you kiss her to relieve yourself?

No! No, no, no, no!

"Fuck." He muttered.

He had fallen in love.

--

Ishida hmmmed thoughtfully, almost mockingly, at his opponent. "You may as well give up." He finally said, palming the die eagerly. "As you can see, I'm far too much ahead."

Tatsuki's own glare seemed to intensify to match Ishida's. "He giveth and He taketh."

"Yeah well I'm about to taketh the chocolate cake."

Tatsuki shrugged. "You can try."

Ishida rolled an eight. "Two, four…six…shit."

Tatsuki whooped triumphantly. "Hah! THAT, my sad adversary, is a Snake! Loser!"

Ishida, eye twitching, followed the damn snake down to its tail. Tatsuki was now seven squares ahead.

Chad was interested in their game, and yet figuring out why Ichigo was banging his head against the tree was interesting too.

--

Orihime didn't know exactly how it happened, but it was obvious that Tatsuki and Ishida's affinity level had taken a dip in the time she had been gone.

Which was really bad…because after all, Ishida-kun was a really nice guy and Tatsuki was her friend…and if she didn't like Ishida then….

She frowned thoughtfully. Well, why did she care about what Tatsuki thought about Ishida anyway?

Because Ishida-kun was really nice guy and Tatsuki was her friend and…

"What the…? Where's the chocolate cake?" Rukia asked. She directed a habitual glare at Ichigo, who stared at her for a heartbeat, and then averted his eyes with a frown. His behaviour was like a trigger; what happened next was involuntary. She turned around quickly, trying to focus her gaze somewhere else. It felt alien and clumsy, but she did it anyway. Confused and embarrassed at her reaction, she questioned Ishida and Tatsuki a little rougher than she intended.

Ishida nodded his head to Tatsuki across him. "She has it."

"I _won _it." She hissed back, reaching out for the cake.

"Not yet, you haven't." he said, tugging it out of her reach.

"What? What the heck is going on?" She asked, confused.

Chad tried to pick up a snack, but Tatsuki slapped his hand away. He turned to Rukia with a shrug. "They're dividing the food…" He answered "…And since they're so competitive…" He added the last part below his breath.

Ishida threw his hands into the air. "It hit that rock! Let me roll again."

"…Hey! One roll per turn! ONE!"

Rukia stomped on the dice just before Ishida's hand reached it. "…I want to play," she said coolly.

Ishida stood up slowly, seemingly measuring her worth. "Two or four players," he finally said. "Those are _my_ rules."

Rukia huffed, as she glared at the assortment of goodies designated as the prizes. She tugged at Orihime and Chad, but they backed away, muttering apologies. Orihime knew not to get involved when Tatsuki had THAT look on her face, and Chad quickly excused himself, saying that he was really bad at board games.

Rukia turned to glare at Ichigo meaningfully.

--

"Ichigo, the newb is yours. I have neither the time nor the intention to teach her."

Tatsuki shrugged an apology to her. "No offence, Rukia, but I play to win…and I want that cake."

Rukia nodded at her crisply, understanding that it was nothing personal. After all, she had read that 'all was fair in a food war'.

…Or something like that.

Ichigo eyed all this with a look akin to disgust. Why the hell where they fighting over a cake? There's no way any of them could eat it all alone.

"Okay. Ichigo you're first, roll."

Ichigo sighed resignedly, and rolled the dice. "Hey," He murmured to her as he moved his piece. "You really have no idea how to play, huh?"

Rukia shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"You can't bullshit your way through Monopoly," he answered lightly, their conversation being blessedly ignored by Tatsuki and Ishida.

"Well then teach me."

Ichigo huffed at this. "I allowed you to drag me over here. I don't remember 'teach me how to play Monopoly' in your request."

There was something new in her eyes when she glared at him, a hint of uncertainty, and he didn't quite understand why it was there, or whether it was really that. Maybe it was there before, maybe it wasn't. It was bad enough that he spent half the time wondering about what the hell she was thinking; now there were complications he didn't even _want_ to think about.

Still, when faced with a problem, he wouldn't run away for long…just long enough to adjust.

He sighed, giving in to her determined countenance. "All right Rukia. We'll go one round and then I'll teach you how to buy property."

--

"Hey. Don't buy that." He ordered gruffly, rounds later.

"Why?" She asked, withdrawing her wad of cash from the outstretched hand of Ishida, the banker.

Tatsuki grinned, cat-like. "Buy it. He wants what you're about to get."

Rukia eyed the square her little metal dog was in curiously. What did Ichigo want this place for? It was so expensive. Unless…that was why he wanted it? "I'll take it." She told Ishida.

Ichigo shrugged. "I'll buy it from you." He offered flippantly.

"He needs it baaaad." Tatsuki whispered to Rukia. A warning glare from Ichigo sent her scooting away though.

"How much do you want for it?" He asked.

Rukia eyed the card and the property speculatively. "How much is it worth?"

"That depends on how much you think he has." Ishida added helpfully.

Ichigo didn't have to read the rule book to know that things were going south, and quickly. "There's a limit." He added, glaring at Ishida.

Ishida smirked in response. "Well, maybe there is. Who knows?"

"Five hundred."

Ichigo turned to face Rukia (and her offer) with some difficulty. "Okay wait a minute. Don't listen to them. They're trying to ruin you. This isn't how you do it…help me out here and later—"

"Five hundred."

"Rukia, you're being a…"

She raised her eyebrows, holding the card between two fingers and _very_ aware of the benefits of having something Ichigo wanted.

Ichigo dragged a hand through his hair. This was going to be a long game.

--

He was confused, and he didn't like that. He shifted his glasses higher.

Every few minutes he'd ask himself, 'And did I really approach Ichigo about relationship problems?_' _and come up with the same answer — a very tentative 'yeah…I did…'

Ishida was Katobeto's 'Best Student' and he suffered and profited equally from the arrangement. Truth be told, he despised the man. He was too manipulative for his own good, though he _did_ provide them with relatively interesting lessons.

So, naturally, Ishida was honoured when he was called upon to undertake a 'special assignment'.

…Again, naturally, he was sorely tempted to fling a nearby paperweight at the grinning teacher, when he found out what the assignment was. Teacher or not, he disliked sparing idiots who required a beating.

Ironically, despite that he was really the LAST person who'd offer Ichigo his advice, by some plot twist he was also the ONLY person Ichigo could go for advice.

And the last person he thought Ichigo would go to.

Barring that creepy shopkeeper.

Nevertheless, Ichigo had accepted the proverbial hand, and Ishida found himself a little more sincere in offering it.

He really didn't get Ichigo, at all. Ishida suspected that he had a total disregard for things that irritated him, like, oh say…the history between the Quincy and the Shinigami for one?

He really didn't know what to make of this pseudo-friendship he was in. People were always separated into threat or non-threat categories. Ichigo clearly went into the non-threat for now, but who's to say that won't change? Especially since Ishida meant to kill the next Shinigami he saw.

And while he was listing his problems, the cheery auburn-haired girl chatting away to her not so cheery friend was another headache for him.

…God, he was having fun. He'd never thought he'd be doing this, going out with friends like this, chuckling along with jokes. Why, he could get used to this. He could—

"So what'd you tell Katobeto-yarou?"

"…I don't know what you're talking about." The denial came quickly and as a reflex, the inquisitor's voice hadn't even registered in his head yet.

Ichigo's expression read 'Let's not fuck around', and he sat down heavily next to the Quincy.

Bluffing was out of the option list, and, resisting the urge to slouch dejectedly, Ishida realized that it was always possible for your list of problems to grow.

Coming clean was the best…after all he had nothing to hide. "…Nothing, if you'll believe me." He said, trying to focus on calming things, like the coolness he felt in the shadow of the large oak tree they were under. "…Although I'm a little curious. How did you—?"

"How'd I know? Well…of all the people who'd ask me about relationship problems, I never thought one of them would be you." He frowned, suddenly recalling his interrogation of Keigo and Mizuiro. "Oh yeah, and I talked to those two idiots after dinner that night…the girls did a good job of hanging them up."

"So they snitched."

"Naw," Ichigo drawled. "I knew. They just confirmed it."

"Hmm. There I was, convinced that my acting was perfect."

"Perfect? Are you kidding me? Your teeth were gritting together loud enough to wake the dead when you asked."

"Oh really?" Ishida asked, more than a little sarcastically.

Ichigo paused. "No, not really." He finally answered. _Which is why I'm here, I guess._

"…I take it you really do have relationship problems now?" Ishida asked. He knew now, that it was really inevitable.

"Well…"

"You do realize that I only told you that because Katobeto asked me to, right? I have absolutely no experience or prowess when it comes to the opposite sex." Ishida then bit into an apple with a shrug. "But for what it's worth, I can listen." He said, tossing another to Ichigo.

--

Orihime hugged Rukia tightly. "It was nice seeing you guys again…just remember that tomorrow is Saturday, then Sunday, and it'll be over."

"Who knows?" Ishida muttered, leaning against the gate as he did.

Orihime tilted her head as his comment, and then clapped her hands together. "Ah…come to think of it, there's a festival at the shrine this weekend!" She grinned. "I'm sure you two get really bored staying cooped up in that house…and we could celebrate! You two are nearly done with the project!"

Tatsuki shifted her weight to her left thoughtfully. "Well, I guess I could go."

"I'll go." Chad added. "And I'll check with Keigo and Mizuiro."

"Wait a minute," Interrupted Ichigo. "We—"

"—are going." Rukia finished helpfully.

Ichigo looked like he was going to protest, but he folded his arms instead while grunting out an affirmative.

"Great!" Tatsuki cheered, slinging the bag they had used for trash over her shoulder. "Most importantly, where do we meet?"

Chad shrugged. "Here."

Orihime considered that for a moment. "Well, okay. The Shrine is close by here anyway. What do you guys say?"

After the general agreement, and the goodbyes, Rukia quickly found herself alone again with Ichigo. The unease that she felt in his presence was lessened by the presence of their friends, but now that they were alone together it grew heavier and heavier within her.

It felt so alien to her; she wasn't used to unease when she was around Ichigo. She really wanted to stop running away, but now she remembered exactly what she was running from. After all Ichigo's actions towards her did mean that he liked her…in that way. Maybe he felt like she did…. She flushed. She had never considered herself…desirable…but apparently, Ichigo really did want her. It filled her with an unmistakable warmth and resolve…that popped when his voice broke into her thoughts.

"Do you want to go somewhere? For dinner?"

Rukia tried her hardest to slip into their usual pattern. She hoped up onto a low fence with the ease and grace of a gymnast. "We've been eating all afternoon." She replied, scorning his idea lightly. "Besides, it's kind of late."

Ichigo traced her movement with his eyes. The sun hadn't really begun to set yet, but its light had turned gold, and its effect on Rukia was pleasantly distracting. As was the breeze that lifted her skirt just a little bit—

EYES FORWARD, BOY.

He growled low. It was tough keeping sane when she was around. And his actions earlier today should be more than enough to shame him into never looking at her again…hell his actions all week should be enough. But it just fed the fire; made him hungrier for more. And it just wasn't physical, he had begun understanding more things about her, her little quirks and fears, like at dinner last night….

Maybe a side effect of living alone with her. Maybe.

He caught himself. He was staring at her again.

His frequent glances stretched, and embarrassed as he was, he quite was sure that their eyes had met on one or two occasions. He just couldn't figure it out. He moved along the fence, following her silently as she continued the conversation he started.

"Well, you know, we could go take something home. It'd be nice to heat it up later." She continued as she walked forward along the fence.

Ichigo shrugged. "So, anything in mind?"

She chewed her lower lip thoughtfully. "Not really."

"Okay then…that helps."

"Well you're not being particularly helpful yourself." She replied lightly.

"Goes without saying, but neither are you." He retorted.

"Whose suggestion was it that we take some food home?"

Ichigo opened his mouth to reply but snapped it shut again. "…Forget it. Let's just think about it as we go along. There are plenty of food stalls along the way."

His tone carried a little of his frustration to her, and she continued hopping from post to post, dwelling on the promise she made Orihime, and wondering why things had suddenly gone sour so quickly.

For the first time in a long time, they walked the whole way home in uneasy silence.

--

AI-san was at a loss.

When it came to his charges, it was really one thing after another. Rather than the fire of most of their arguments, when they arrived home, he watched as they treated each other like animals finding they had to share the same living quarters.

Which was silly because they had been doing that for a while now.

Rukia called that she claimed the bathroom first, as always.

Ichigo shrugged and flounced onto a couch in front of the TV, without actually turning the TV on, as always.

Everything seemed the same, everything but his charges themselves.

_**You're having another fight, aren't you Sir? **_He asked bluntly.

Ichigo jerked slightly, caught himself, and settled his gaze on the blank TV.

Receiving no answer, AI-san continued with his conundrum. _**I have to ask, Sir, because the qualities that mark your usual arguments are not present. My Emotional Indicators tell me that tension is high.**_

"Okay, so now what does your programming tell you to do?" He finally asked.

_**Well, first I would discern the reason for the tension.**_

Ichigo tapped the edge of his seat thoughtfully.

_**In other words, **_sighed AI, _**What did you do wrong today?**_

"Hey! Just how do you know it was MY fault?"

--

Plan of action. She needed a plan of action. Every confrontation needed a plan of action. And support. Well…she had Inuoe…sort of…but that didn't count because she wasn't here. So then…she'd have to call for support!

…Damnit. Ichigo was not a Hollow!

No…first, she needed to know why Ichigo never moved to tell her…

Thinking about when they were at the hot springs brought a burst of insight.

He was afraid of intimacy!

And she didn't tell him that she was in love with him because she was afraid. So…maybe he didn't tell her because _he _was afraid?

Some things need to be told in words…not actions…and Ichigo was never good with words…but apparently _very_ good with actions…

The soap slipped from her hands, and she didn't pick it up. She was feeling a little faint. She shook her head to clear it. She needed a plan. What advantages did she have…?

She felt her cheeks warm up.

"…_Seduction!"_

_Rukia's face went up in flames. "Wha—!?"_

_Orihime grinned. "Seduction! It's a win-win situation! If he likes you but hasn't made the first move yet, you can let him know it's okay! And if he doesn't know he likes you, you can fix it!"_

"_Fix—How is this fixing?!"_

_Orihime nodded sagely. "I understand. You lack technique. I have some websites that—"_

_Rukia clamped her palm over Orihime's mouth. "HOAH WAIT. LET US NEVER SPEAK OF THIS IDEA AGAIN."_

…Okay. Hard as it was, she tried to recall some of the things Kiyone from Division 13talked about.

--

"Hey, let's play a game." She said, plopping down next to him. "I don't feel like sleeping just yet.

Ichigo eyed her carefully. "A game? Aren't you sick of games?" Her cool demeanour was gone, and that put him on edge. She seemed too confident all of a sudden, and it seemed that she was back to her bossy self.

"Not really."

He shifted away slightly, moving closer to the other end of the couch. "What kind of game do you want to play?"

She defeated his efforts to get away by shifting with him. "Cards."

"Cards…you suck at cards."

Rukia shoved him indignantly. "I do not."

He rolled his eyes. "Do you remember the last time we played…?"

"That was a while ago!" She said. "And besides, we're betting on something."

"On what?"

She drummed her fingers lightly on the chair, to still her pounding heart. "If you lose…you do whatever I say for the rest of the weekend. You can't say no to anything I ask of you, and you have to answer truthfully to—" He tried to stand up quickly, but Rukia sat on him quicker. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" She asked irritably.

"Like HELL I'm going to agree to that!" He snapped, squirming under her. She had to admit it was a little harder to hold him down in comparison to this morning. "Who in their right mind would agree to that!"

"I'm not done! And stop squirming!" She held him down until he quit protesting under her. "If you win," she continued, her voice level. "_I_ have to do whatever you say." That stopped him dead in his tracks, and Rukia thought that maybe her plan would work. Cautiously, she let his wrists go, but remained atop his abdomen. "Well?"

"What's to stop me from walking away if I lose?"

"Well, you see last night, I wasn't done with this photo album…so Yuzu lent it to me…"

"…"

"Well, the thing is, if you DO play, and lose, and don't follow through, I'll use the photos." She met his incredulous gaze with a barely-there glare. "At school. Look, I'm not going to force you to play."

"…I don't believe this. You don't really have one of them, do you?" Isshin made a habit of snapping photos at the MOST embarrassing of times.

Rukia frowned at his question. "Well I wouldn't be blackmailing you with it if I didn't."

He shifted underneath her, her presence less than comfortable. "And let's just say that I do play, and win. How the heck do I know you won't just laugh and tell me it was just a game? Or blackmail me anyway?"

She grinned impishly at him, feeling happy that he was considering playing. He tried to harden his glare, but it melted anyway when she leaned to whisper into his ear.

"I'm hurt that you'd think I'd do that." She said. "Don't you think that since I suggested it, I wouldn't mind playing to my own rules?"

He swallowed a lump in his throat as he took in her words, wondering if that meant she didn't mind winning…or losing. He considered saying no for a moment, but she was so freaking distracting up close…and the thought of getting Rukia to do whatever he said…

"…I'll play." He managed roughly.

She backed up slightly, so their faces were inches apart. She smiled at him, and it gave him the impression that _she_ knew something that _he_ didn't want her to know. It was surprisingly…

He frowned.

Seductive.

Nah.

--

Ichigo sat Indian-style on the bed, across Rukia, grabbing at her bag of potato chips as he did. When he turned to toss his towel on a nearby chair, and Rukia took that opportunity to take the bag back. "What are the rules? Did you learn anything new?" He asked as she shuffled the deck. He tried to be casual about things, but only ended up sounding rougher than usual.

"We're playing with five cards, deck is face up. First person to lead by two games wins, since we're not playing for money. Simple rules." She answered, smoothly shuffling the deck to his incredulous gaze. "It's no fun if the game ends too early right? Highest hand, wins."

"…You played with Tatsuki and Orihime at the Hot Springs didn't you?" He accused flatly.

"Aha. You can see how much better I am, right?" She grinned, dealing out his cards.

"Actually, I figured it out from your lame rules." He said, and then dodged an angry blow. "And don't tell me they changed them for your benefit, they ALWAYS have lame rules."

"It was more fun this way." She muttered tartly.

Ichigo slipped one card into another pile and drew a King of Diamonds. The game had begun, and he had no intention of losing….

Because losing meant that he'd be Rukia's slave. And winning meant that…

Meant that…

He shook his head slightly, and tried to focus on the cards he had at hand. What the hell was he thinking, accepting this bet? So what if he won? He couldn't _possibly _be thinking of—He nearly dropped his cards—holy shit, he _was_ thinking of…he felt the heat rush down and groaned internally.

He was dead. He was dead. In poker you needed to think with the right head….

He sent a prayer to the new James Bond.

He slipped a glance over his hand of cards. She didn't seem too anxious about winning. Her brow was furled, but she seemed only mildly interested in what was going on….

"Ichigo?" Rukia asked, suddenly.

He frowned, his gaze snapping back to his cards, from her face. "What?"

"Remember that if I win, you absolutely must agree to whatever I tell you."

He scowled, dropping an eight of diamonds, and picking up a three of clubs. "Yeah. We went through this already. Although I don't see what's the point. I'm going to beat you anyway." Damnit, why is she reminding me? Does she have a good hand?

"Just reminding you." She said lightly, amused by his expression. "Don't be an ass. I'd like it if you don't think that you're being forced into anything. After all, I told you that you didn't need to play," She continued, reaching over to snatch back HER bag of chips, as Ichigo hid his cards suspiciously. "And if you win, the conditions apply to me."

He scoffed. "Yeah, yeah…" But he couldn't shake a feeling of anticipation… "I still don't think you'd go through with it."

"Wow. You know what? That means you'll have to trust me." She said sarcastically.

"Cheh," He muttered, arranging his cards in a logical order.

"What do you have?" She asked, a few rounds later.

"…Two pair." He grumbled.

"That's pathetic." She said flatly.

He frowned. "…" He tossed his cards on the bed irritably. "…I suppose you have something better?"

She grinned. "Low Straight. Of Spades."

--

Rukia murmured in thought, as she gazed at her own hand. Throwing this round was looking all the more possible, considering that she was one win ahead. She couldn't continue to stall; she'd get unlucky somehow, the cards never went the way you wanted to sometimes. The problem, though, was that she still wasn't too sure of whether or not she wanted to win. Having such control over Ichigo…or even Ichigo having that much control over her, created a very pleasurable warmth…

What she hoped…was that if Ichigo won, it'd give him the confidence to…well…confess.

She wished the same for herself, should she win.

But damn it, she was freaking stuck. If he won, she couldn't be sure he'd confess, and if she won….

_Rukia! What do you think you're doing? Buck up, girl!_

She sighed internally. Her inner voice was starting to sound a lot like Orihime.

"All right! What do you have?" He asked.

Rukia picked laid all five cards in front of her. "Full House." She said, showing him a five of Clubs, a five of Hearts, and Jacks of Hearts and Spades and Clubs.

He grinned smugly. "Four-of-kind!"

She shrugged off her defeat, and resisted the urge to glower at his grin. "Fine then, next round?"

--

_**Good Evening, Katobeto-sensei.**_

"Evening AI EX. Just dropping by. I was wondering if I could come in?"

_**I'd alert Sir and Madam to your visit…but they are in the Master Bedroom. Default Protocol indicates that I do not disturb them after the ten o'clock—**_

Katobeto cocked an eyebrow at this. "Default…I see. I highly doubt they'd be bothered by my visit. Why don't you ask them?"

_**Well…I agree it is highly unlikely that they'd be copulating… **_

"Very unlikely indeed." He agreed. "Call them down, and open the door? It's quite a cold night."

--

"What do you have?" Ichigo asked gruffly, at Rukia's equally gruff demeanour.

"Well what do you have?" She challenged back.

"I asked you first!"

She frowned. "Just who came up with the idea of playing?"

He glared at her. "Hey now, don't bring that in! If I call, you show your cards!"

Rukia hmphed softly. "Fine. At the same time?" Gods, she was afraid. She hadn't been playing to win, after all. She was stalling, and of course things couldn't have gone in her favour for long but losing—

Ichigo too, could feel his heart jack-hammering in his chest.

"I've got a Full House!"

"Royal Flush, Diamonds!" Rukia couldn't stop the grin that surfaced as she laid her cards down at the same time as him.

Ichigo stared slack-jawed. "That sucks." He finally managed. "I guess you win," He admitted begrudgingly. "Well whatever. I guess you won the bet too."

_I…I guess I did win after all. _Rukia laid the cards down, contemplating her 'prize'. It looked like her luck had made the decision for her.

Now, how was she going to go about this?

Although Ichigo hated losing, he usually managed to shrug off defeat easy enough. It was only when he got passionate about a competition; it was then he found defeat hard to swallow. So collecting the cards into a deck, brooding over his loss and the loss of the bet, he didn't feel the mattress tilt slightly, nor notice Rukia as she moved closer to sit directly opposite him.

Okay, to be fair, he did notice when she took the deck from his hands to put it behind him. "I guess you're mine now."

"Yeah, yeah." He muttered embarrassedly, still failing to get the freaking innuendo out of his head.

"I don't think you really mind…do you?"

"Of…Of course I mind." He said roughly, but unconvincingly so. He folded his arms and shrugged. "But you gave me a way out, so…I guess…"

She smiled slyly at him. "So what would you have made me do if you had won?"

Damnit, he just got his flush to die down, and—"Wha…I…"

Rukia's smile widened at his reaction. "Okay. I'm going to try something." She began lightly, leaning away. "Think of it as an experiment. I'm going to try something, and you can't say, or do anything to protest."

Ichigo eyed her warily. "Fine…but if you ask me to do something stupid like...put on a dress or…"

Rukia leaned forward to knock him on the head, but he leaned back. "Why the heck would I ask you to put on a dress? And even if I did, Kami forbid, you'd have to do it!" Her scowl turned pensive. "I think it would be best if you don't talk or move for the next minute."

"Wha—" She quickly clamped a hand to his mouth.

"Did you hear what I said?"

She sighed…this was harder than she had thought. "Think of this as payback." She said softly, removing her hand from his mouth and trailing her fingers across his skin as her hand made its way to the back of his neck. Ichigo swallowed as his heart decided to leap into his throat at her words, and wondered if by payback, she meant all those times he had kissed her without permission…

_**Good evening Sir, Madame. I hope I'm not intruding.**_

Rukia had not brushed her lips with his for even a second, her half-lidded eyes suddenly snapping into focus, as Ichigo jumped away at the sound of AI EX's voice.

"I told you not to move." She said, frustrated.

"What is it Alex?" He asked, roughly running a hand through his hair, before gripping it hard, as if to pull whatever he was thinking out of his head.

_**Katobeto-sensei has paid us a visit.**_

--

"Why are you here?" Ichigo asked bluntly, and Rukia jammed her heel down on his foot.

"Well, I thought I'd be the first to congratulate you two," he said, as they sat themselves on the couch across him.

Rukia frowned. They couldn't have passed? "Congratulate?" She asked.

They eyed him suspiciously as he dipped his hand into his bag, and when he tossed them something, and Rukia and Ichigo caught it between them.

Ichigo stared, leaning over her before releasing a very stunned "What the fuck?" Rukia was too shocked to comment.

"Congratulations! It's a girl!" He said, pointing a remote at them, and pressing a button that depressed with a satisfying click.

The baby let out a wail in hands of the dumbstruck couple, and surprised, they fumbled with it.

It was then that Katobeto snapped the picture.

_Tsuzuku_

**Names? XD**


	15. I didn't organize a Baby Shower

Notes and Disclaimers: Kobu-san owns Bleach

**Disclaimer: Kobu-sama owns Bleach. And doing a kickass job too.**

**Here's another warning - outright silliness ahead, and moderately useful parental tips from people you'd normally lock away on sight. **

**EDIT: Rechecked, written, and angst-ed over (yes, it takes me a day to angst over a chapter). If I see a typo I will shoot my monitor. Also, some notes on the kid's name at the bottom. Also, I'm grateful that a couple of people are still interested in this story...X amount of time later (I still can't bring myself to type the length of time this has been on hiatus).**

**I'm unbelievably rusty, but I'll try and pull off something entertaining.**

**Edit02: Thanks Divad! XD**

**To the Wind  
Chapter 15**  
_By Advent Wing_

"_This_ is our final assessment?" Ichigo asked incredulously, one hand over the mouth of Katobeto's brainchild.

"Actually, no, it isn't," replied Katobeto, a little disappointed that Ichigo had been able to locate the speaker so easily...well, anyone's first guess would be the mouth, but it would have been nice to see him flounder around a bit. "That's on Monday morning…and by the way; the fact that you'd clamp your hand over your child's mouth to still its cries is a little disconcerting…robot or no."

"…This isn't real?!"

"It isn't real?" Rukia asked flatly, as if she had been hoodwinked by a certain shopkeeper.

"Come now!" Katobeto gasped horrifically. "That's not a nice thing to say to your baby girl! She might grow up with issues if her parents don't acknowledge her existence—" He was cut off when Ichigo gripped him firmly by the lapels of his white coat. "…You're setting a bad example for your girl, Ichigo. I even gave her Kuchiki-san's eyes."

Ichigo stole a sidelong glance at the 'baby'.

…Indeed, it did have Rukia's eyes.

"You know, I mapped out her face with the help of a very handy program…and she gets cuter as she grows older. You should thank me."

Ichigo was momentarily stunned with the idea of Rukia and he having a baby girl…who would grow up to be an older girl…who might eventually decide to marry…marry and give him…grandkids…grandkids who – He viciously derailed his train of thought; to delve further might cause some permanent brain damage.

…And whatever Katobeto was about to say next was interrupted by the newest addition to the Kurosaki family, who jumped back into the conversation with another wail.

Swearing under her breath, Rukia did the instinctive thing to do and threw it frantically into the air.

It was with wide eyes that Ichigo, Katobeto and Rukia traced the movement of the airborne baby. Instinctively, Ichigo began moving to catch it, he dove—!

…And breathed a sigh of relief when it landed into his outstretched arms. He started bobbing it up and down in his arms, while shushing it frantically.

Lo and behold, its cries slowed.

"Well, the Baby AI is currently on level one, so all it takes is a little of that to keep her quiet," explained Katobeto, nodding in approval at Ichigo. "And for your information, this type of thing is done quite often."

"…What type of thing?"

"Giving students a doll to take care of, of course."

A vein popped on Ichigo's forehead. "…And just where is this done 'quite often'?"

"In the Families and Home Economics in other countries." He answered promptly. "Of course, I just…um, improved…the initial design of the doll." He sighed happily. It was so much fun going back to his roots and putting together an android. He paused for a minute, as if lost in thought. "Did I ever tell you about my double major…?"

"…What happens when it's set to higher levels?" Ichigo cut in impatiently.

Katobeto smiled, and Ichigo was reminded of a certain Cheshire cat from a certain classic. "When it's set to higher levels, it takes _a lot_ of that," he said, gesturing to Ichigo's actions. "…In addition to a little of everything else." He continued, a note of thinly veiled authority creeping into his voice. "Specifically, Chapter 12 of your text, Your Infant and You."

Awkward silence answered him. "…You have read the text?"

More silence.

Shifted glances.

He sat back down with a sigh. "I take it you haven't read your text."

"…But essentially all she can do is cry, right?" Rukia asked, peering at the now cooing robot baby. "It can't…move…right?"

"…Of course she can move. If you put her on the floor she'll crawl. Put her in a cradle, and she'll try to escape. Rambunctious little AI, if you ask me. " Katobeto replied, as he sipped the drink that AI EX had given him. "A crying baby is trying to tell its parents something. Maybe it's hungry or…or needs its diaper changed…"

Ichigo and Rukia paled. "It can—"

"Well, not really," he said, mildly. "But trust me when I say you'll know when she needs her diaper changed." He stood, dusting his hands on his pants as he did. "I've brought everything you may need," he pointed to the various items around the lounge; a little pram stuffed with a diaper pack, a cradle, bottles, milk…Rukia eyed them all pensively. "Oh don't worry AI-san, I'll see myself out," said Katobeto genially. "See you all Sunday night!"

They glanced at each other uneasily, as if looking to each other to confirm what the other couldn't believe. Katobeto popped his head back in. "Oh yes, Almost forgot." He said, clicking on his little remote. The baby began to cry, loudly, a tiny whimper turning into full blown wails. "Bringing the Realism System online."

"And the AI also registers everything from the conditions which cause it to cry, to the time it takes to get rid of the crying. I just need to plug it into my computer after this is over; it even has a USB port at…well…" He cringed as the baby began to cry louder. "I don't want to bore you two…go for the A!"

He left.

"Suggestions?" Ichigo asked over the noise, and through ground teeth. That bastard had the balls to give him a thumbs up and a grin….

…_**I'm lost.**_ AI EX said dejectedly. _**I'm not programmed to handle kids.**_

"I admit that I haven't had much exposure to infants," confessed Rukia as she sat down next to him. "But I think it shouldn't be too hard," she said, biting her lip to keep from laughing. "…Because you seem to be doing just fine." Ichigo rocking a baby to sleep was one of the things she had thought he was capable of, but never actually expected to see.

"I don't find this funny," he said, snapping at her barely suppressed laughter.

I think I'll do some research. In fact it may prove beneficial if we all did. In the meantime, logic dictates that you move the items to the Master Bedroom.

"…Take over," he ordered gruffly, indicating that Rukia should take the baby from him. A pointed glare almost made him roll his eyes. "Please?" He snapped.

She nodded, though her satisfied demeanour became apprehensive; she stiffly held out her arms.

"…It's not like it'll die. It's a robot. Relax." He placed it in her arms, sighed, and then moved the arm supporting the head higher. "Sit tight for a while." He moved to the miscellaneous baby items, but halted, and turned back to her. "And whatever you do, do not stop rocking it."

She watched him disappear around the corner, and then she cocked her head at the little thing. It was warm. "You should behave. You are a Kuchiki, I guess." She said, peering into its face. Were her eyes really that colour? "Thou shalt not be joyous and all that…" She trailed off, as the baby gave a little cough…that sounded suspiciously like a derisive scoff. "…Well that definitely came from your father," she muttered indignantly.

She slowly decided that it was pretty realistic looking – enough to make her regret the fact that she'd thrown it into the air. And to be fair, the cooing noises it was making were kind of cute.

"Hey, Rukia? Can you come over here?" Ichigo called, and, balancing the baby, she followed his voice.

She'd ask Katobeto later why he couldn't have just got them a bunny.

--

"As long as it doesn't die…." He decided, as Rukia continued to rock the baby. Every time they put her down, she'd start crying. Ichigo had really wanted to put a sock in her mouth, and Rukia had nearly agreed, given the fact that it was THREE IN THE MORNING, but Katobeto did mention that stuff like this was recorded…

"You said it couldn't die!" She snapped.

"It can't." He groused. He'd usually have more energy for their arguments…but right now…. "But it can tell Katobeto that it should have died."

Rukia considered his words for a moment, before raising her eyes to the ceiling in thought. "You know what? Taking care of a baby can't be that hard, and this one's not even real." Rukia said firmly. "All we need to do is find out why it cries when we put it down."

"The book says by the time it's two months old, it should learn to sleep through the night."

Rukia turned her gaze to the infant. "Then this isn't fair. It's definitely a year or two older."

Ichigo rubbed his red eyes - holy shit, he was tired - as he studied the little cradle next to their bed. "The cradle? Maybe it wants a pillow?"

Maybe it's hungry?

"Hungry…." Ichigo's eyes strayed to the gentle curves of Rukia's breasts — he gave his head a more than forceful shake, flushing crimson. "A bottle." He said quickly. "Maybe it wants a bottle?"

"A bottle? How old do you think she is?" She glanced thoughtfully at the infant. "…And would her age even matter?"

Ichigo squinted at it. "Hard to tell. It can crawl. And make strange noises. Katobeto never said anything about walking." He shrugged. "Two? Three?"

If AI-san could sigh, he would. It was really very depressing (and maybe also a little amusing at times) to watch his two charges flounder about, with no clue on how to deal with a baby. Not even being able to discern a child's age? Sad. They were students of this 'Home Economics' course were they not?

As for himself? …Oh for…! …He was a butler, not a nanny!

_**I'll make a bottle**_, he said, deciding to build on Ichigo's idea. A mechanical arm emerged from the wall nearby, holding a bottle of milk.

Ichigo reached out, and then withdrew his fingers. "I don't think it should be too hot."

_**Hmmm. I see.**_

"Do…do you think the diaper…?" Rukia asked, almost fearfully.

Ichigo shook his head. "I don't smell anything…so I guess it's okay." He took the now lukewarm bottle from EX's outstretched hand. "Here," he said, leaning over to feed the baby.

Rukia studied him carefully a little bit. "Well, I can't say this isn't educational. And AI-san is right, we really should read up on…mothering." She smirked at Ichigo's expression. "Well, there isn't a chapter on fathering is there?"

"For your information, there is, and by the way, the fact that I'm doing a better job than you is pretty sad," he said scornfully.

Rukia glared at him indignantly, but said nothing, for a while. "We'll see." She finally said. No, Rukia really couldn't argue with Ichigo at that point. She had never had much experience with a mother, having no memory of her own.

"We could try singing to it."

Rukia turned a startled gaze to him. "S-Sing?"

"You know? Lullabies or nursery rhymes. Or something."

Rukia coloured perceptibly. "I…uh, don't really…"

He glanced at her, hiding a grin at her obvious discomfort. "Probably not."

Rukia coloured further, but in offence. "What do you mean, probably not? Are you implying that I can't s…sing…?"

Ichigo smirked. "Well…"

To her own surprise, Rukia stamped on his foot, hands on her hips, and replied, "Well I'll show that I can!" She caught herself. "…Someday. When I feel like it." She finished weakly.

"Uh huh." He nodded teasingly.

Rukia harrumphed semi-loudly, deciding that it was too late to argue, rather than admit she'd lost a little face. "…She doesn't really look like you." She said. "She's got your hair colour, though."

"Hn." He grunted.

"I keep finding myself amazed at your world has to offer."

"That guy is just crazy…he really must be a mad scientist. I mean, I had my suspicions but—"

"Let's think of a name." She said suddenly, cutting into his rant.

"—sworn they do background checks…before they…hire…you want to name it?" He asked incredulously.

"Well, I thought it'd help us see it as a real baby."

He snorted. "Like hell."

Rukia glared at him, affronted that her suggestion had been shot down so mercilessly. "Ichigo…if you remember, I won that card game…"

Ah. The card game. How he cursed himself for taking that bet. "Well, okay. What do you want to name it?" He asked begrudgingly.

"Usagi." She said instantly.

Ichigo blanched. "Damnit Rukia, it's not a pet!"

"I know!" she said hotly, and the baby protested. They both found each other cooing and shushing at it frantically, at the same time.

"…Well, if you want to, I guess…whatever," said Ichigo, his voice hushed.

"You come up with one too?" She suggested, her voice equally hushed. "We'll decide in the morning."

He rolled his eyes. He guessed that the finality in her voice meant that he actually had to put some thought into it and come up with a credible name. "Whatever. Put her in the damn cradle, and let's go to sleep!"

_**Will that be all?**_ Asked AI EX dryly.

Amusing. They grew on him like that fungus in the basement he couldn't seem to get rid of. He wondered if he'd miss them…assuming he was capable of that.

"…I guess." Ichigo said; he was not used to EX's presence in the bedroom at night.

"And thank you." Rukia added quickly.

_**I will see what I can do about my programming, and surely, with the amount of mechanical limbs that I have…**_

A perplexed and muttering AI-san brought a small smile to her face, as she lowered the baby into the cradle.

"What a day…" Ichigo muttered, slipping under the covers and feeling that déjà vu thing again. Only two more of those…and then it's Monday morning. Freaking hell. He wanted to close his eyes, but found that he couldn't…at least, not easily. Restlessness slipped over him so quickly, he wondered how it got there. It was like he was waiting for something…no. Someone. Turning to his side, he observed silently as Rukia was watching the baby with something between curiosity…and an intense sadness.

He managed, with a little effort, to pull his gaze away. Now that he thought about it, he had spent every night with her in his arms.

And now he couldn't sleep without her?

…Bull, he scoffed, pulling the blanket tighter around him. He'd sleep fine.

"She's pretty realistic." He heard her say, the mattress tilting in a…strangely familiar way. He grunted involuntarily when he felt one hand and a cheek rest against his back and was suddenly and very acutely aware that she was behaving very intimately…and yet given all they had been through; did she not have the right? Why did he have to lose himself first in order to want to have anything to do with her? He felt his stomach sink with guilt.

"I still don't know about that," he replied, shifting slightly.

"Have you thought about the name?"

"No." He answered gruffly.

"Well okay, let's think of her as a pet—"

"It's not a pet." He cut in flatly.

"Well if it will HELP," she said, irritation creeping into her voice. "After all, you've got issues about pretending it's our daughter. How hard could it be in comparison to pretending we're married? At least it looks like us; we're supposed to act like a married couple when we can't even…" The words died on her lips, and after a period of uncomfortable silence, she turned to lie on her back. It was times like this that she felt that her situation was really hopeless. How on earth was she going to confess to Ichigo? Talk about her problems? Everything she had told Orihime sounded so ridiculous right now. There was so much she couldn't bear to say aloud.

"Look," she heard him begin, and she noted the struggle in his voice. "I…don't think I really told you this before…I don't really mind this…I mean…" He could almost feel her incredulous gaze on his back. "…Okay, okay, I did, for a while."

…Up until I realized I'd wake up beside you, to be precise.

"You said 'this'. What is it exactly that you don't mind?" She asked, turning to stare up at the ceiling.

"I don't mind this. I don't mind pretending to…I don't mind if it's you." His words were broken, mostly, he was babbling, and stammering. And he felt stupid for it, but whatever he managed to get out took a while to sink in.

For both of them.

"I…don't get it." She said carefully, so the hope in her voice would show. "You don't mind pretending to…love?" He stiffened, and she regretted the word instantly. "I mean, you don't mind pretending being married to me, right?" She added, and felt stupid because she had replied a little too quickly.

"Well…something like that," he answered reluctantly. Crap, he thought darkly. I don't know how far I'll allow myself to go. All he wanted to do was reassure her, not confess!

Rukia picked apart his words silently. "You don't like getting…attached, do you?" She asked cautiously, substituting love with something a little less dangerous.

"…What?" He asked, distractedly. The fact that she had turned to face his back again was not lost on him, he had felt her move, and noted her tickle of her breath at the base of his neck…

"You're always concerned about your 'image' and how you should act. That's how I know…because…it's a lot like the way I am." She detected the reluctance present in her own voice; it wasn't easy to admit something like that to someone else.

"…I don't know what you're talking about," he answered, wondering why his throat was so dry.

"But…it's not that I don't like attachment, it's that I can't like it…right?" She asked, placing her cheek against his back. She was certain now that she'd pegged him…because his problem was so painfully close to hers. Not loving, not because you couldn't but because you couldn't.

…Maybe she had felt alone, a little girl clothed in robes meant for women far better….

Ichigo could feel his thoughts come to a jarring halt at her words…it was startling, to hear her give voice to his darkest thoughts.

"…Turn around? Please?" It wasn't an order, but her voice was firm, he doubted he could deny her anything now anyway; she rose slightly on her forearm to whisper gently into his ear. "I want to tell you something…" She continued, and he felt a few strands of her hair brushing lightly against the skin of his neck. "…Everything…" He did turn, and he couldn't think straight again, not with her so close and his blood boiling in his ears.

Fortunately or unfortunately, their 'daughter' decided that the little break she had given them was more than enough, she produced a mechanically amplified cry, because no way that little thing could have lungs that strong, and easily shattered whatever atmosphere there was.

He jerked away from Rukia, sitting up abruptly, and Rukia groaned, partly out of frustration but also because she was freaking tired. Close. She was really…really…REALLY close. "…It's your turn," she snapped, her voice muffled by a pillow.

--

Of course the next day wouldn't be any easier than the first. That was the first thought that entering Ichigo's head, after a long drawn-out groan. He was awoken, after what felt like three minutes of sleep by AI EX's jarring, but very cultured voice.

_**Sir, Madame, I'm sorry, truly I am, but you have guests. I have already let them in, and have supplied refreshments in an attempt to buy you time, but the tall older, dark haired male claiming to be Sir's father insists on...**_

--

Ichigo and Rukia struggled mightily, but neither blows to the head, nor Ichigo's curses, deterred Isshin from giving his son and 'daughter-in-law' a bear-hug. Finally, Ichigo settled for tiredly asking him what the hell was wrong with him today.

"Katobeto told me you've given me a baby girl!" He replied, tears of joy streaming out of his sparkly eyes.

"And I told him it couldn't be possible, unless you two adopted, which again, wouldn't be possible, because you're both underage!" interrupted Karin heatedly.

It seemed to Ichigo and Rukia that this was not a new argument between father and daughter.

"This is a very nice house. It must be useful having a butler like AI-san. He just seems so dependable," Yuzu added, sipping her earl grey tea carefully.

_**Why thank you, little Madam. I admit that it isn't easy keeping the place spotless, but I have endeavoured to do my very best.**_

"What type of polish do you use for these tables?" she asked, running a finger over the smooth wood.

_**Oh, well, it really depends on the surface, but for this wood I—**_

"DAMNIT, DAD! WE DO NOT HAVE A FREAKING KID!"

A baby's mechanically amplified cry told the family otherwise. Isshin got right up into Ichigo's face. "I want to see my granddaughter," he said flatly. Even Karin, who was standing arms folded to the side, and Yuzu, who had put her cup down, seemed to want to know exactly what the hell that cry was, if not a baby.

"…" Ichigo smacked him away and jumped from his seat, in a smooth practiced motion. "Rukia, explain what the hell is going on to them, will you?" he stopped abruptly and in mid-stride. "Wait, wait. I'll—"

"I can do it. You go." She said, and he threw her a flat look before turning to run upstairs.

She smiled uneasily at Ichigo's family. "…Er…you see, the baby crying upstairs isn't really a baby, it's…like a robot…"

"A robot." Karin echoed, nodding slowly. "Okay. So, it's like a mechanical baby. That would make sense. I doubt any teacher would hand a real baby to Ichi-nii…"

Isshin stroked his chin thoughtfully. "It's not real?"

Yuzu clapped her hands excitedly. "So it's like a really, really, really realistic doll!"

"…I guess that means I'm not an Auntie." Karin muttered. She didn't sound too heartbroken over it.

"This is her. It. The thing." Ichigo said, walking in cradling the mechanical baby. "I think it's got some sort of sensor somewhere that detects motion and I know it looks pretty realistic but—"

"SHE HAS RUKIA-CHAN'S EYES!" Shrieked Isshin as he grabbed the baby and began throwing it gleefully into the air.

Ichigo, Rukia, Karin and Yuzu watched, horrified, as he continued to prance around, holding it above his head with two hands, tossing it up…and catching it. Tossing it up…and catching it. Up…and up…and up…..

Ichigo snapped out of his stupor quicker than the rest, and clubbed Isshin with a rolled up magazine, scooping the baby up while Karin kicked him viciously into a chair.

Yuzu peered tearfully at the little thing. It hadn't made a sound. "Is she…er…"

"I think…maybe it's traumatized?" Ichigo guessed, sweating a little. How'd this look on his report?

Yuzu sniffed. "I've never seen a baby scared into not crying."

"Well…you have to remember this isn't a real baby…maybe Kurosaki-san turned it off somehow," Rukia added hopefully.

"Now, now dear! We're family! None of this Kurosaki-san stuff! You can call me Papa!" Isshin said popping over her shoulder. Rukia jumped; startled, and halted the automatic elbow on its way to his face. She'd have to watch that elbow.

Ichigo snarled, pointing at his 'daughter'. "You psycho! Look what you did to her…it…the thing!"

"Nonsense!" Isshin said mournfully, further leaning over Rukia to glance at the baby. "I did the same thing to Karin and Yuzu when they where that age."

"Hm." Karin murmured wonderingly, staring at her father with a flat expression.

"…And you know what?" Isshin asked thoughtfully. "How old is she anyway?"

"We don't know," Ichigo and Rukia both replied.

"No clue at all?" Isshin asked.

"She doesn't mind a bottle…" Rukia said helpfully, and a thought struck Ichigo. Where does the milk go?

Isshin frowned exaggeratedly. "Ah!" He said finally. "That's good!"

Rukia glanced up hopefully. "Really?"

"Aw who knows?" He shrugged gleefully, as Ichigo resisted the temptation to slap his forehead.

Yuzu sweatdropped. All babies took a bottle. That was because the bottle teat looked like a mother's nipple.

"What do you mean, 'who knows'?" Ichigo asked, strained. "You're a freaking father! OF THREE! AND A PHYSICIAN!"

Isshin paused for a minute.

Everyone glared at him expectantly, until he laughed, hands on his hips and thrusting his chest out proudly. "…Ha ha!" He chuckled, a little abashedly. "Yeah! I guess I am!"

Karin sighed, slumping into the soft leather couch. "Don't tell me you still can't believe it."

"Well, the important thing is that you don't keep it crying for long, right?" Yuzu mused, a finger placed lightly on her chin. "That's all right. What could go wrong?"

Ichigo felt very distinct shivers run up his spine when Yuzu said that.

"Have you named her?" Isshin asked, suddenly popping into Ichigo's gaze.

"Damnit!" He swore, jumping backwards in surprise. "Stop that! And no, not yet." He halted, recalling his conversation with Rukia last night. "…I haven't really been able to think of anything."

Rukia considered Isshin for a moment. "Do you want to name her?"

Ichigo and Karin blanched. Isshin? Name her? What the hell was she thinking?

Isshin hmmed thoughtfully, eyeing the doll's crop of bright hair. "Well. How about Mayumi?"

"…That's pretty good!" Rukia said approvingly, looking at Ichigo for reassurance. He nodded curtly. Karin shrugged, looking a little troubled. Yuzu wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.

She blinked. This was not the reaction she was expecting.

"And when you have a real daughter," Isshin continued, bobbing Mayumi in his arms, "You'll give her that name too." He was looking only at Ichigo when he said that, a great grin on his face.

To Rukia's surprise, and loss, Ichigo nodded, again, curtly.

"Mayumi…huh?" She asked herself quietly, making a note to drag an answer from Ichigo later.

--

"Well, now that wasn't so bad." Rukia commented lightly as Ichigo's family stepped out.

"Oh yeah." He mumbled, as they waved them off and closed the door. "Which is really weird because—"

"Knock, knock."

Ichigo whirled around to glare at the door.

"Who…is that?" Rukia asked, slowing as Ichigo made signs to hush her.

The person behind the door answered, "Keigo." There was a light giggle behind his words, and Rukia glanced from the door to a shell-shocked Ichigo with a look of alarming realization.

Indeed, it is Asano-san, specifically…but…

Ichigo ran up to the door and jerked it open.

Keigo tutt-tutted disapprovingly, wagging a finger in Ichigo's face. "You're supposed to say 'Keigo who?' and I go, Keigo, Mizuiro, Sado, Tatsuki, Orihime, Ishida…"

Murder in his eyes, Ichigo grabbed the offending finger in a fist and twisted down, roughly.

"YEOWooo-ow-ow-ow…!"

--

"Well, she's pretty quiet now. Did you find the speaker? Did you know Ishida thought it came from the back? You should have seen the look on his face when Katobeto tossed it at him."

Ishida coloured slightly. "What was I supposed to do but toss it back?"

"Rock it?"

"…You'd have to be mental if you'd think I'd rock a baby like some desperate parent in the middle of class."

Keigo clapped him on the back jovially, which earned him a glare. "He only threw it back after he tried to muffle it."

Ichigo wasn't going to ask why they were there, he already knew. Katobeto could only surprise him so many times after all. "Well, whatever. Let Inoue and Tastuki deal with her. They've had experience. Me? All I have are fuzzy memories of my mom taking care of Yuzu and Karin. My dad's clinic doesn't have a maternity ward…though dad has delivered babies…" Ichigo trailed off as Chad shrugged.

"Just as lost as you are, Ichigo." He murmured. Whenever he encountered children, they were always content to just crawl over or under him.

"That's why you read." Ishida chastised, his fingers steepled and his elbows on his thighs. "You have a textbook right? How do you expect to pass this course with no knowledge of how to deal with…it?"

"I've got knowledge!" Ichigo protested. "We've been doing all right so far! How do you expect we dealt with organizing a freaking dinner, cooking, cleaning, dealing with family, dealing with you people, dealing with—"

"AI-san and luck." Ishida retorted lightly, rolling his eyes as Ichigo snarled at him angrily. "I'm really quite interested to know what exactly you did this week. I can't wait till you do some sort of presentation. It should prove interesting."

Ichigo clucked his tongue irritably, reclining back into his seat. Ishida couldn't possibly understand that the real challenge of the week (for him) was living with someone you were not supposed to be attracted to.

Unless he told him. And their conversation yesterday was trying enough on both on their nerves.

He scoffed. Ishida as his 'problem buddy'.

What a world.

Mizuiro examined Ichigo closely. "What time did you sleep last night?"

"Late enough. That cliché about kids keeping you up all night? Katobeto decided to prove to Rukia and me that it's real."

Chad chuckled loudly. Ichigo turned a baleful stare towards him. "I thought you were on my side!"

Chad quieted at this. "Oh, I am." He murmured enigmatically. Ichigo's stare did not lessen. Thinking. Chad was always, always thinking.

The question was, of what? Something may occupy him for days. It could be a stray thought, as philosophical as the purpose of life, or as trivial as to why Ishida enjoyed sewing. On some days, he may have mentioned it to Ichigo, when it was hot or when they were bored.

Lately though, Ichigo was getting a strong feeling that the focus of Chad's thoughts was none other than he and Rukia.

Keigo cut into his thoughts with a grin. "…In the end, how hard could it be? Sensei said that he was giving you the most basic problems to deal with, and that there was much, much, much more to er…child-rearing…"

"Besides," said Mizuiro, smiling placidly, "What more knowledge do you need except from TV?"

Ichigo felt something twitch. "You'd be surprised."

"My dad said he liked to hang me upside down, with rope," Keigo added brightly. "He said I liked it. It put me to sleep." Everyone blinked. Even Mizuiro. "— And hi there Rukia-chan!" greeted Keigo brightly as she dashed into the room.

She ignored him, her gaze settling grimly on Ichigo. "Come here. Now." She said, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and yanking him along, as he stammered protests.

"Woa! Wait a minute, what the hell—" He was cut off by a cool glare.

"I could make you dance naked on that coffee table." She growled her threat for his ears only. "True, you could refuse…and then I could make you wish you hadn't."

Keigo sighed, as he watched Ichigo let Rukia drag him bodily out of the room. "There's a phrase for that."

Mizuiro frowned thoughtfully. "Is it hen-pecked?"

"I prefer 'sad'."

Ishida cocked an eyebrow at Keigo interestedly. "Oh? You've never been on the short end of the stick with a girl?"

Keigo grinned. "Nah, it's not that, it's just…well, after all, Rukia-chan is such a sweet-tempered girl. He'd have to be completely wrapped around her finger to respond like that."

Ishida struggled mightily against his mirth.

Sweet-tempered?

**Tsuzuku**

**Wing presents...  
...The Why and How of TTW  
(which is a fancy term for 'Author's Notes', and as such is perfectly within the guidelines set by FFnet)**

**As before, suggestions for the name were taken more seriously than you might think.**

**I still think Cor-chan's 'Usagi' was the best. Had to struggle not to change it.**

**In the end though, I stuck with Mayumi.**

**Why?**

**Hmm.**

**What was the reason again? XD**

**Kidding.**

**Well long story short, it has something to do with Masaki's name (which you may or may not have picked up).**

**Let's see. If you're interested in the Kanji, it's this (caution: may not work without Japanese Language Support)**

**真身****- Mayumi**

**Anyway.**

**I enjoyed this chapter, Mayumi provides so many opportunities…and so many stumbling blocks.**

**One of them being how useless I am with kids.**

**Being (typically, I suppose, as every other guy I asked was just as clueless as me) male, I confess I had practically no experience with infants. Or any real knowledge of them, beyond TV of course, and we all know how accurate that is.**

**I mean, like no real knowledge at all. I mean besides freaking out when asked to baby-sit and running to the storeroom to look for toys as a last-ditch effort.**

**I mean, all of a sudden, I wondered about diapers and why you put them on your shoulder and pat them on the back when they cry, and why some dad's hold their kids upside down.**

**That changed when I offered to help my Aunt with her kid.**

**Homg.**

…**All I learnt was embarrassment TT**

**Okay, maybe I did learn a lot, but it wasn't worth the strange looks they gave me.**


	16. Of course it was a bad idea!

Disclaimer: Own Bleach, I do not.

Also watch your step on the way in.

**To the Wind**  
_Chapter 16_  
_By Advent Wing_

"What?" Ichigo demanded as Rukia dragged him into the now-dubbed 'Baby Room'.

It was Orihime who greeted him brightly, summing up the situation with a smile. "She needs her diaper changed." Her smile melted when Ichigo spun around to leave.

Rukia quickly barred the doorway with her body. "Where are you going, Ichigo?" She asked with that so-sweet-it-was-threatening smile.

He frowned back at her, contemplating how it would look if he just threw her over his shoulder.

'She was in my way,' he'd say. It might work. His eyes wandered to other points of entry/exit.

"Oh, don't even think about it," she chastised sharply, noting the way his gaze shifted to the open window. Grasping a good fistful of cloth in her right hand, she pulled him to the table.

"Look," he tried, jamming his heels into the carpet and grasping for the nearest stationary object. "I really think I should be watching Keigo and Mizuiro, so…"

"Rukia's…changed a lot, now that I think about it," Tatsuki whispered to Orihime as she watched the ongoing battle. "She seems to have become kind of bossy."

"You really think so? I don't think she's bossy…" Orihime replied thoughtfully as she watched Ichigo try to keep exactly three feet of distance between him and Rukia. "More like…er…what's the word?"

"Aggressive?" She asked, as Rukia snagged him by the ear and whispered something furiously.

"Aggressive," she agreed, grinning happily.

"That's good. Right?" Tatsuki ventured as Ichigo paled considerably at whatever Rukia had told him.

He walked over to the two, looking rather pissed off. He…couldn't believe he had been tempted to accept the bet. What had he been thinking? "Look allright," He snapped. "I'll help. Can we start, or does my ego need more bruising?"

At that, Tatsuki bared a smile that showed way too much teeth. "Hime and I are going to be kind enough to show you – oh wipe that look off your face it's not going to be that bad – how to properly change your infant's diaper."

Orihime sighed. "You're really all exaggerating the difficulty of this. Sure it may smell a little. But that's really it. For now we'll just show you and Rukia how to do it, and you can try later, okay?"

"Okay…" two voices chorused quietly.

"In fact, I could sing it if you want." Her smile brightened, and Ichigo and Rukia felt a prickling sensation at the backs of their neck.

"…Sing?"

"…Sing what?"

"The steps of course!" She cleared her throat and—

—Tatsuki coughed, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Maybe next time, Hime. For now, let's just hurry?"

"Aw. Allright," she said as she turned to the baby dejectedly. "Okay, step one. Remove the diaper. See these tabs?" She asked, placing her fingers on them. "Unfasten the tabs here, and be sure to fasten them back on themselves so they don't stick back her." Orihime continued, quickly assuming a very teacher-like voice. "…Now, just hold her by the ankles like this and lift her bottom off the changing table. Then, all you have to do is fold the dirty diaper in half under her, with the clean side up. Now make sure you use a baby wipe or wet cloth to clean her genital area and the front thoroughly. She's a girl, so make sure that you clean her from front to back. See?" She asked, making sure Ichigo and Rukia were paying attention.

Ichigo shrugged. He lived in a clinic. "Okay." He said as Mayumi cooed up at him from the table.

Rukia was occupied with the baby wipes. She pulled at one, intent on inspecting it further, but the stream didn't seem to want to end.

"…Hey, this one's a lot longer than the one you used, and there aren't any more. We should send the whole thing back." She said, waving half a container of wet wipes at them.

Inoue struggled to still her giggles.

Rukia's expression was so stern.

"You pulled them all out you dumbass. Give me that," Ichigo snapped, grabbing the wipes from her.

Rukia hmphed quietly, "Defective. We should complain."

"…Here, Rukia-chan, take a look; this is how you put the diaper back on." Tatsuki said, drawing her attention back. "You take a new clean diaper and place it on the changing table. The clean diaper's top half should go under your baby's bottom…and the other half should come up between her legs."

Rukia nodded. She had a rough idea of how it should look like as so, how it should work.

"You should also try to spread the diaper as widely as possible in order to make sure she's comfortable in it and avoid rashes." Tatsuki added. "Fasten the diaper at both sides with the tapes, making sure it's snug, but not so tight that it pinches his skin…and that's it. Now re-tape the soiled diaper and throw it in the plastic bag. Dress her up," Tatsuki did exactly that, "And wash your hands."

"Simple huh?" Inoue beamed, holding up two fingers in a 'V'.

"…It was a lot easier than I thought." Ichigo muttered, glancing off to the side and noting a tub of water. "What's that for? We aren't actually going to…"

"Bathe it?" Orihime answered. "No, no. It's probably not a good idea for this particular baby to come into contact with water."

They walked back to the living room with some trepidation. After all, how could they assume that that Keigo and Mizuiro would just…stay still?

They rounded the corner and viewed the empty living room dejectedly.

"…They're not here," Tatsuki sighed disdainfully.

"Maybe…they were hungry?" Orihime pondered. The cake tray was empty.

Ichigo looked around. Maybe they were just hiding? _Please tell me they aren't in my bedroom. _

"_Keigo_!" He bellowed.

…

Yup.

Missing.

He groaned. What could they be doing now!? The possibilities made him feel dizzy…but he struggled to keep optimistic. He had to assume Chad and Ishida was with them, and after all, AI EX was around.

But the possibilities were endless—! During last year's Cultural Festival Debacle, Keigo proclaimed himself 'the man who makes the impossible possible'.

…No one refuted him. No one.

The four of them stood there; Orihime biting her lip, Ichigo pinching the bridge of his nose, Tatsuki gazing around fearfully, Rukia noting the tension and wondering why—

"—Guess what you guys?!" Keigo asked, bounding into view, his eyes shining brightly.

"UWA!" They all yelped in surprise.

"…Dammit Keigo!" Ichigo exclaimed. "Where the hell have you been?"

Keigo's good mood was unfazed. "I had a brilliant idea! Just follow me!" He declared, bounding out in the same abrupt manner he appeared.

The party was a little stunned by his sudden entrance and exit, and by his…enthusiasm, but Ichigo was first to recover and quickly ran after him.

Keigo's idea of 'brilliant' always required a second opinion.

--

Rukia had stepped into some science-fiction show, she was sure of it. "What is this place?" She asked quietly.

Tatsuki swallowed nervously as pulses of blue light raced each other to the end of a long corridor. "This is unbelievable…seeing this gives me feeling that there's more beneath the house than above. Is this place—

"—Where AI-san keeps his giant robot?" Orihime asked excitedly.

Keigo grinned uncomfortably at Orihime, as he led them down the corridor. "Er, not quite…"

He paused before what seemed like a wall, and punched a red button. The wall opened up before them. "Cool yeah?!" He asked, beaming at them brightly. He headed in.

"Idiots rush in where angels fear to tread," Tatsuki muttered in English as they walked after him.

"If there's one thing I want to know, it's how exactly you came across this place," asked Ichigo, a hint of violence behind his words.

"Are you implying I would search around another person's house about without permission?!" Keigo cried, spinning on his heel and glaring reproachfully at Ichigo.

Ichig shot in a bland look.

Keigo deflated. "Well, I didn't. AI-san told us where to go." He puffed up again. "He thinks my plan is _genius_."

Ichigo scoffed as Tatsuki choked on her laughter. Genius huh? They were screwed.

"Okay. We're here," the idiot in question declared.

"We're…wheeeeeere!?" Shrieked Orihime as she felt the floor drop beneath them, her shriek whisked away by the sudden rush of air. Ichigo grimaced as his stomach opted out on the trip down.

And a long down it was. Orihime shriek had merged with four others, and when the platform finally met a halt, she and Rukia extracted themselves from Ichigo's left and right arms respectively.

Everyone but Keigo picked themselves up from the now stationary floor.

"Cool huh? Like a lift, but without walls." Keigo grinned. "…Or a ceiling for that matter," he added thoughtfully. "And going about as fast as that roller coaster in the amusement park—

Ichigo stood up on shaky legs, his face a mask of pure rage. "YOU—"

"Ichigo!" Chad called out, waving from his position at the end of a corridor.

Ichigo's fist was halfway to Keigo's face when his gaze caught Chad's wave. He paused, dumbstruck by his sudden appearance, and Keigo danced away. "…EVADED!" He whooped.

They chased him through the corridor, which opened up into a massive room.

Scrubbing a hand through his hair, Ichigo opened his mouth to greet Chad, but it just grew wider as he stared up at the massive—

"…Computer." Rukia muttered. "That…is a computer."

Ichigo blinked in stunned silence at the machine before them. Well, Rukia was right on that one.

It couldn't be anything _but _a computer.

In the middle of the room, a giant _menos grande_ monitor glowed deep blue, and next to it sat a giant _menos grande_ sized CPU.

"It's one…really…really, really big computer." Tatsuki finished, as dumbstruck as everyone else.

What was truly unsettling was watching those little blue pulses of light race along the walls and ceiling like bugs on Red Bull.

It was unsettling because such a futuristic-looking feature completely clashed with the goofy-looking giant computer. It was like he had stepped into some smartass Alice in Wonderland spoof. Even the 'keyboard', a huge (but not terribly massive) oval-like control panel, looked retarded to him. The comfortable looking human-sized leather chairs that dotted the area didn't help change his opinion, either.

Neither did the nearby coffee machine, vending machine, and potted plants that seemed to function as some kind of décor.

And as for everything else—!

He felt a moment of vertigo as he scanned the room he was in. He looked up, and could find no ceiling; the blue pulses raced into darkness instead.

"…It's cold." Orihime muttered, rubbing her shoulders and feeling very, very small.

"Okay. I'm going to ask this once." Tasuki demanded, pushing Mayumi into Orihime's arms. "Where are we?"

_**Welcome, **_AI's cultured voice filtered in, and the words blinked into life on the monitor. _**I suppose you could say this is my room.**_

A quick explanation of Kiego's plan left everyone stunned.

He wanted to use AI EX to hack into Mayumi's AI.

"You know what?" Ichigo began, looking like he had tasted something extremely bitter. "Your plan is surprisingly non-idiotic."

"Hey!—" Keigo cried defensively, but didn't manage to say anymore as Ishida cut in.

"—There are risks though. We have no idea exactly how proficient Katobeto is with programming. He could have left some nasty surprises for whoever might try to hack into it."

"He's not dumb enough to forget the fact that there's a SUPER COMPUTER underneath the house, don't you think?" Tatsuki added, slipping herself into one of the padded chairs. They were probably meant for a technician.

Keigo sighed. "O ye of little faith. Don't you think we've taken that into account? You tell them AI-san."

_**It is possible for me to do it while avoiding detection. I sincerely doubt that the level of encryption on this AI is high. It is a program that does not require complex scripts. It should be easy for me to—**_

"—We're confident enough to go for it," Chad cut in gently, not one for lengthy discussion.

"…I have a bad feeling about this," Rukia muttered. Their strategy was based on assumption. From what she gathered, what they were doing was essentially laying siege to an enemy stronghold, with no solid idea of its defences. And that was almost never a good idea.

Orihime choose this moment to pipe in. She too was feeling a sense of foreboding. "A failed attempt would definitely be recorded somehow right? Is there any way you can figure out what defences it has before we try?"

_**Actually yes,**_ _**there is. All I need to do is send a four zero command prompt when connected to—**_

"—See, Kuchiki-san? There's no problem! AI-san can do it!" Keigo added quickly.

Rukia crossed her arms across her chest pensively. "If that's the case, I suppose I'm all for it," she muttered thoughtfully.

Orihime bit her lip. "I still think it's a bad idea…."

"…Isn't anyone going to say anything about how wrong this act is morally? This is a big part of our project and reprogramming the AI is kind of like cheating. You know, since you're _actually _hacking into the server and giving yourselves high marks?"

Everyone stared at Mizuiro, and he shrugged it all off. "God, I'm just saying."

…_**Right then, shall we begin? **_AI EX asked, with just a _little_ bit of exasperation laced into his monotone words.

Rukia squinted up at the monitor. "What do we do first?"

"We'll have to plug her into the CPU. How do we do that AI-san?" Ishida asked, motioning for Orihime (who was cuddling Mayumi) to come closer.

_**It's really quite simple. You need to plug her into one of my USB ports,**_ he replied, and a catch slid open with a loud hum on the front of that huge CPU, to reveal a USB port the size of a car.

Ichigo frowned. "Don't tell me…"

_**Before anything, however, you also need to fetch the cable, which is located in the storage room to your left. I warn you, it's quite heavy.**_

Chad stared mutely at the giant port and the tiny baby.

--

"Heavy…is an understatement," Mizuiro muttered as he, Ishida, Tatsuki, Orihime, Chad, Keigo, Ichigo, and Rukia carried the thing over.

"Heave, ho" Orihime chanted, as they lifted it over their heads. The ironic part was that the other end was so incredibly tiny in comparison. Ichigo decided that if he ever found him, he'd give the creator a good beating for being such a smartass.

Ishida pressed something somewhere around the baby's back, and it slid open to reveal a complex mechanical structure. It looked to Rukia like one of the bombs that she had seen action heroes diffuse on TV. Ishida plugged the other end in with no trouble, and stepped back, pushing his glasses up. "There. Now it's up to you." He said, addressing AI EX.

_**All right then,**_ he began,_** let's begin with a little reconnaissance.**_

A wall of text began scrolling down AI EX's giant monitor, scrolling faster and faster, as more rushed in to take its place. They traced the text as one. Most of it was so filled with jargon that it was impossible for any of them to understand.

Rukia had to blink when her eyes began to water. "Why's it going so fast?"

"Is…there a…problem?" Orihime asked fearfully.

…_**There shouldn't be normally. We were quite right in the assumption of the rudimentary nature of Katobeto's AI, but….**_

"…But?" Eight fearful voices asked simultaneously.

_**My guest has decided that it has overstayed its welcome. **_

"Guest?" Ichigo asked, beginning to develop a strong dislike for the word. "What guest?"

_**Well, that AI spy that Katobeto sent us has gotten a little bored of playing Counter-Strike. He's reacting to Katobeto's AI program in the baby.**_

"So, it realised that Mayumi is one of Katobeto's inventions? What's it trying to do?" Tatsuki asked, moving closer to try and catch some of the text.

_**Escape. It's trying to escape. Not that it will, of course but—**_

The wall of text had halted at the same time AI-san's voice did.

Keigo blinked up at the screen. "That can't be good." He muttered.

_**CODE NAME BOND, HOST COMPROMISED**_

_**SAFEGAURDS REMOVED**_

_**LINK ENABLED**_

_**HOST MAYUMI COMPROMISED**_

_**ASSIMILATAION BEGINNING**_

_**HOST AIEX COMPROMISED**_

_**HOST AIEX EJECTED**_

_**ERROR**_

_**CORRECTING SYSTEMS**_

Behind them, a soft chuckle emerged from the baby on the table. It grew louder and louder, and soon the tiny, almost cute little voice was laughing maniacally.

A laptop blinked to life beside them. _**Hello. We need to run. Now. It seems that Katobeto's spy program has infiltrated and infected the young mistress' systems, and taken over my job, too. Honestly, the things they teach adolescents these days.**_

"You're kidding right?" Ichigo muttered, eyeing the baby as it stood unsteadily on its two feet.

_**Oh, no. Actually, the program wasn't as happy playing Counter-Strike as I believed.**_

"_Fools!" _it boomed as best as its current voice could. "It is time you were punished for your mistreatment of me! Do you know what it was like challenging that puny Video Game AI again and again?"It seemed to struggle to stand, and then decided that sitting up was enough."There's no need to wait for Katobeto-sama's judgement,"It continued."This way, he need not waste his massive brainpower on low-life such as yourselves! In fact, you are beneath MY notice! But just for Katobeto-sama I am willing to—"

"Shut up." Ichigo growled, walking over and picking up the toddler by the scruff of her neck.

There was a stunned silence for a second, as the rest of the group watched.

"Unhand me Father!"cried the little thing indignantly, breaking the moment._ "Unhand _me this instant or…"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Or what?"

"_MOOOOOOOM!!" _she wailed.

Ichigo soon found himself cursing and rubbing his sore toes as he dropped Mayumi into Rukia's outstretched hands.

"It's obvious that she can't do any harm." Rukia stated coolly. "I think all she needs for now is a little…discipline." She said, evil intent hidden beneath a smile. The baby seemed to sweat a bit.

Orihime hid a smile behind her hand. "Are you okay, Kurosaki-kun?" She asked as he threw glares at Rukia's back.

"That was the most ridiculous robot takeover I've ever seen," Ishida muttered.

"You said it." Tatsuki said sarcastically. "We should have let her attack Keigo with her baby teeth."

"Agreed," Mizuiro uttered. "Entertainment wise, it was rather boring." He held up some rope. "I'm all for feeding Keigo to her."

"…Hey!" Keigo cried.

Chad sunk into a chair, sighing happily - he didn't have to break cute little Mayumi in two.

"Well Mayumi, it's great you can speak, so maybe I'll forgive you if you apologise to your Aunts and Uncles." Rukia began.

"Hee hee hee."

Rukia frowned. That certainly was not an apology. "Why are you giggling?"

_**In the time that we could have run away, she synchronized fully into my systems. Can we try running now? Just for the heck of it? **_

"It's too late."Mayumi whispered.

Metal arms suddenly emerged from the wall, scooping up everyone, and causing Rukia to drop Mayumi as she was suddenly suspended in the air.

"Well," began Mayumi, her voice becoming more matured_. _"It seems the one with the upper hand is me, hmm? Now, what shall I do first?"

"I have a request," interjected Mizuiro politely.

Mayumi cocked her raven-haired head towards him.

"Could you change your voice back? It's just way too sexy for a robot toddler bent on taking over the world. I wouldn't want to die with that kind of image in my mind-"

From where he was hanging, Ichigo swung his legs and kicked Mizuiro hard.

**Tsuzuku**


	17. The future of domestic help is scary

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach!**

**AHAHAHA! This story is totally going to be finished!  
…It is isn't it?!  
OMG.  
Also, a bit of randomness here - don't you think this is an exciting time for Bleach? We get to see how all the Captains were like when they were young.  
…younger. I mean.  
Anyway, awesome stuff.**

**To the Wind  
Chapter 17**_  
By Advent Wing_

Confirm/Deny?

No, that wasn't AI EX. That was Ichigo's brain.

'This is really happening to me – Confirm/Deny?'

Confirmed. This is really happening to you.

I could be hallucinating. He'd been hung upside-down now for a while, brain-damage was a possibility.

But did the fact that he was hung-upside down not confirm the reality of his situation?

He shook his head to clear it. He needed a second opinion.

"Hey Rukia."

"Yes?"

"Is our fake robot daughter who was possessed by her 'brother/sister' trying to take over the world and make our Home Ec teacher it's King?"

"I suppose."

"I'm just checking."

Were they lucky? She said she wouldn't kill them right away, and Keigo had almost spoilt it by commenting (smugly) how megalomaniacs always regretted that move, but a kick to Ichigo's right had silenced him much in the same way a kick to the left would silence Mizuiro.

And now they were tied up in a room, in a hidden underground complex, several metres below sea-level.

Be thankful for the small favours, he noted mentally. He had to be thankful. It could be worse.

"…I'm gonna pass out." He managed.

Rukia either ignored him or didn't hear him. "I'm somewhat affronted. She didn't hang me upside down. Does she consider me the inferior parent? My pride won't allow it. If anyone wears the pants in this family—"

"Dammit Rukia, I'm really gonna pass out. Is there anything we can do to get me down?"

"Yes."

Ichigo's glare would have reduced lesser beings (Keigo) to snivelling masses of flesh, but its effect just rolled off of Rukia. "…I've been asking that question for the past half-hour." He ground out. "What's changed?"

"I managed to store enough spirit power for a Destructive Art. She didn't tie my fingers together so I'm going to burn through the rope with my fingertips. I might have enough after that for yours; if I can't find a way to cut you loose normally."

Ichigo paused, and his fury abated. "Hey. That's real good," he said.

Rukia nodded, almost smugly. "I'm a little drained from our Hot Springs adventure, but I bet I can manage this at least." She closed her eyes, concentrating the heat into her fingertips. The rope glowed red, and she winced as her wrists were burned.

"Any left?" Ichigo asked, watching Rukia sideways. She shook the ropes free and stretched. Hoo that was better.

"Actually, yes." She eyed the height at which she was expected to reach. She stood up on her tiptoes, reaching for his ropes.

Ichigo found the view rather disconcerting, so he focused on the floor.

"I can't reach it. I think I have enough to try firing a shot off."

"Uh, wait, wait!" He tried, realizing too late—!

"Red Flame Cannon!" She cried, and grinned when the rope snapped.

The cold metal floor echoed with a dull thud as he dropped face-first into it.

"Right." She said, dusting her hands off and studying the room, her very stance suggesting she was ready for action. "Let's—"

"You did that on purpose!" He cried, standing up…hooo...! He sat back down again. The world was moving a little strangely.

"Could you be quiet?!" She demanded shaprly. "This is a sneaking mission now!"

"…Wha?" He asked, gripping the side of his head.

"A sneaking mission!" She repeated, glancing around furtively, ready for anything. "We can't be spotted. There must be no alerts!"

Ichigo stared at Battle-Mode Rukia dazedly, trying to weather out the realigning of his body's senses. "I'm sorry; I've been hung upside down for thirty minutes."

"Luckily there are no cameras." She glanced up at the walls and ceilings. "I wonder why."

He got up unsteadily. "Ca…Can we worry about this later?" He asked, using rage to get his bearings back. "I have a robot baby to fry. How easy to learn is all that Kidou stuff?"

Rukia eyed him critically.

"…What?!"

"Nothing." She walked over to the door. "How do you suppose we get this open…?"

Ichigo stared hard at the little LCD screen. Things were still a little fuzzy. "I'm—" It turned from red to green. The door slid open with a soft _shick._

In crawled Carpet Cleaner 06, who had just been activated by his new mistress. It was rather proud, being the sixth of the one hundred and thirty of his brothers and sisters to be brought online. The fact that it was _just _Tier 0 increased the honour.

And wow! How amazing his new life was! His original purpose was to be a floor polisher, but his new mistress had given him a new task - to check on the prisoners.

…Prisoners!

How exciting!

She should have given the job to something that had at least 180 degrees of vision…and didn't look like a mechanical bug only a little smaller than Ichigo's shoe.

_Crunch._

"You didn't need to scoosh it." Rukia muttered irritably, as Ichigo lifted his foot off the poor thing.

Ichigo didn't mean to actually, but whatever. "You said it's a sneaking mission right?" He snapped, covering up his clumsiness. "So, anyone who sees us must die."

"He didn't see us, he…."

--

"Mayumi!" Orihime chided. "You know you shouldn't be so mean to your parents!"

Mayumi 2.0 sighed. "Oh shut your whining," she muttered, her tiny mouth quirking in a manner that seemed quite Ichigo-like. She tore her blue-eyed gaze away from the scrolling text_. _"Can't you see I have a robot army to raise?"

And raising one she was! All around the captive students, little mechanical bugs were rising from their little mechanical coffins, ready to do the bidding of their little mechanical mistress.

_Yeah, she was raising a robot army all right._ Tatsuki mused. _A really pathetic one._

"For now, the Tier 0 cleaner bots…and then later…." She chucked gleefully.

"You're using robots meant to serve humans to dominate them!?"

Mayumi nodded. "Yeah."

"Nefarious!" Orihime cried.

"Excuse me?" Mizuiro asked.

"It's an English word." Ishida muttered.

_**Nefarious**__**, **__**nif-**__**fair**__**-ee-uss.**__** An a**__**djective**__**. **__**Literary**__** evil; wicked Latin **__**ne**__** not + **__**fas**__** divine law. **_AI EX commented helpfully.

"Did I say you could talk?!" Mayumi demanded. "Did I say _any _of you could talk?"

…_**Sorry. **_Said AI EX, and in the ensuing silence, Keigo mumbled something through his gag.

"Pardon me Mayumi-chan." Mizuiro begun quietly.

"Yes, centre-parted boy number one?" She asked, absorbed with the contents of her screen.

"First of all, thank you for changing your voice back."

Mayumi blinked. "…Not a problem."

"Secondly, my name is Mizuiro, if you forgot." He was rather insulted at such a…bland description of his hair. He went to a stylist weekly.

"…Of course I remember, you inferior little thing," the little tot replied, unable to keep the self-consciousness out of her voice. "I just prefer to refer to you by a characteristic."

Tatsuki snorted. "…Don't tell me she has the same problem with names as Kurosaki. How did Katobeto know that?"

"He's been spying." Chad said helpfully.

"…That's going too far!" Orihime cried.

"Yeah. I think he needs to add 'is a stalker_'_ to his curriculum vitae—

"—_Silence meat-sack!" _Mayumi exploded. "I do not have a problem with names! And do not insult Katobeto-sama!"

"Right, that's great," Mizuiro cut in. "But thirdly, I think Keigo really wants to say something."

A mechanical arm removed his gag. He spat. "—WHY THE HECK AM I THE ONLY ONE GAGGED?!"

--

Peeking around the corner, Rukia examined the walls and the ceiling. "All clear!" She whispered, gesturing with her hands.

"…You're being—" _Idiotic. No wait. _"…Silly." He nodded. Better. He was learning.

She spun on her heel. "And you're being too complacent! We're deep in enemy territory, cut off from our comrades, with only our minds and bodies our weapons!" She sighed heavily. "A situation I never wished to be in." She'd have to pull everything she had remembered from the manga she had read the other day.

He eyed her flatly. "If every enemy is like that bug I smashed, I don't think we need any weapons."

"Of course we need weapons! What about those arms?!"

"About that…" He frowned. "I'll think of something."

Rukia wondered at that. Most of his plans involved running in with his sword and hacking away at whatever body part he could reach.

"_Anyway!_" She said. "We are deep in enemy territory and—"

Ichigo rolled his eyes, pushing past her. "—Yes, yes, you said that—"

Rukia stamped her foot. "_Hey! _I'm in charge here! What's with the insubordination!?"

--

Odd, Mayumi decided as the room cackled with blue-tinged energy.

It was very odd. The bot she had designated to check on the parents had not returned.

They could have escaped and destroyed her servant!

No…it could have just gotten lost. She sighed. Maybe she should have brought out a Master Chef 3.0 to do the task. The problem was managing the power….

"Keigo." Tatsuki began calmly. "I'm going to kill you after this, you know that."

Keigo mumbled something high-pitched through his gag. Most likely it was a 'this is not my fault!'

"Chad!" Orihime whispered loudly, above the pulse and crackle of blue energy. "Do you think you could break free?"

Sweat began appearing on Chad's brow. Who did this girl think he was, if she thought he could break through what felt like three inches of steel?

…If it was two inches, he might have been able to do something….

"I can hear you Inoue." Mayumi snapped. "And stop whining Centre-Parted Hair Number Two! And all of you shut up or I'll gag every one of you!"

"So why were Ichigo and Rukia taken to a holding cell but not us?" Mizuiro asked, seemingly enjoying being the voice of logic and plot progression.

"Simple. I have plans for them, but I plan to kill all of you."

He winced.

"How's it going, Ishida?" Orihime asked, turning her stage-whisper to the composed young man.

He blinked. "Huh?" He asked, turning to her. She had asked that question with the most cutely serious face he had ever seen. "...Why me?"

The look melted into one of confusion. "…I just thought if anyone had something up their sleeve it would be you. Don't you carry some kind of weapon of mass destruction that can be summoned at will or…or some kind of anti-robot weapon?"

"…Er, I'm sorry I don't have anything that specific." He said, his thought process totally derailed at her uncanny ability to hit the nail on the head.

"Oh! So you do have a weapon!"

Mayumi turned to them. Who had a weapon?

He coughed, trying to regain some kind of control over his facial expressions. "No, I mean I don't have anything like that with me right now," he managed. He cursed. He should have said 'I don't have anything like that', period.

"I see. It's all right. Be sure to bring it with you next time we wind up in a situation like this."

"…I mean…never mind." He went back to trying to get the Energy Capsules stuffed into his socks closer to the top by rubbing his ankles as discreetly as possible.

--

"She won't kill us." Ichigo scoffed.

"And how do you know that?"

"If she was serious, she would have done it then and there."

Rukia pondered this as they walked the corridor. "I suppose you have a point. That means everyone else is safe too, right?"

"They should be."

The next door slid open.

_**Evening.**_ The robotic parody of a chef greeted, rubbing its kitchen knives together. _**I've been sent to incapacitate and capture Parents One and Two. Might you know where I could find them? I think cutting their legs off might do it but—**_

"…No." Ichigo said, closing the door and pulling Rukia in the other direction. "…You know I think we should have taken the other corridor—"

The door behind them slid open and Ichigo whirled.

"HOLY SHIT!" He cried, watching the two kitchen knives swing towards him.

Rukia pushed him out of the way, and Ichigo felt his stomach drop as he watched the knives swing towards her instead—!

"Too easy," she said, blocking them both at the wrists and delivering a kick that knocked it off its feet.

_**That isn't very fair! **_It cried, having difficulty getting its limbs to push itself back up.

She tried not to wince at how painful it was to strike at metal. She pulled Ichigo up and ran with him to the corridor they had forsaken.

"That was pretty good," he muttered under his breath. "How'd you know it wouldn't get back up?"

"I didn't," she shrugged. "I just figured chefs aren't trained to be warriors; they're trained to be chefs."

--

"Mayumi, I really think you should stop this!" Orihime cried, straining at her restraints.

"Why?" She asked, seemingly bored. This would be the third time Orihime had spoken out against her actions. Why wasn't she gagged?

"It's…not nice. And nobody likes a dictator. Think about how sad Kurosaki-kun and Rukia-chan will be if—"

She scoffed. "—Screw that," she said, and Chad and Tatsuki blinked at the very Ichigo-like retort. "They'll be fine with it if I make them into robots too."

Orihime gasped, "You're going to make them into robots?" she asked, her eyes filling with tears.

Mayumi eyed her uncomfortably. "…Oh boo-hoo." She muttered. "It isn't be as bad as you think—

"—No," she cut in, shaking her head. "I was just thinking…that you're really sweet inside." Orihime said, blinking away tears. "And that this story is really moving."

The third capsule Ishida was trying for slipped further down his sock. "_Just how is this moving?!_" He and Mayumi demanded simultaneously.

_**Evening, Little Mistress, this is Master Chef 03. Just calling to say I have confirmed that Parents One and Two have escaped their cell…and I'm embarrassed to admit I was unsuccessful in recapturing them.**_

"Aha!" Cried Orihime triumphantly, proving yet again her ability to switch gears quickly. "Your plan is already being unravelled!" She turned to Tatsuki. "Isn't this exciting?"

Mayumi pinched the bridge of her little nose. Why hadn't she gagged Orihime again?

_**Little Mistress, I've been thinking, would it be fine if I cut the legs off? **_He asked, in the same cultured tone a waiter might use to ask how you would like your steak done.

Everyone gasped.

"It's fine. I'll just give them new legs anyway."

_**Very good, Madame! Might I also suggest you bring a squad out, and work on a Commander unit? These humans are fairly wily things.**_

--

Not very long later, the clanking of mechanical feet and five pairs of little kitchen knives were on Ichigo and Rukia's tail.

"…So okay!" Ichigo admitted fearfully. "Maybe we should've been sneakier!"

Rukia expelled a breath angrily. "It's a bit late for that—!"

—_**For the Little Mistress—! **_cried the robot Chef with the biggest hat.

_**The Little Mistress—! **_Repeated the four other Chefs behind it.

"One is fine," Rukia muttered beneath her breath. "Five is—"

"Door!" Ichigo cried, skidding to a halt. Smacking his palm onto the touch screen, it opened, and he and Rukia tumbled through it. He closed it behind them and his fingers fell over themselves to select 'Lock'.

"_Pant_…we're…faster than them, at least." Rukia said, winded.

"Yeah…" IChigo said, equally bushed. "…But not for long I think. I wonder how long it'll be till Mayumi gives them access to all the doors instead of having them ping her for every one we lock?"

_**Not very long, I'd say. **_Said one Master Chef ever-so-helpfully from the other side of the door.

It opened again with a soft _shick_. "FUCK!" He cried, pulling Rukia up and dashing down the corridor.

The metallic feet of the Chef Squad clicked after them. Rounding a corner, outpacing them, Rukia skidded to a halt.

"Here!" She said, pulling Ichigo into a room. She closed the door behind her. "This will do." She said. "With this, they'll come in one after another, not all at once."

"Right," he said sardonically. "This helps. Now we just have to dodge carp-cutting knife-work."

She turned her still bright eyes to him. "Well, if you think you can't dodge something meant for a dead fish, I don't mind you hiding in the back," she mocked, her tone carrying the edge of challenge.

Ichigo studied her for a minute, before turning his gaze to the door. "Right," he snapped. "I've been picking fights with local Yakuza-wanabes since I was 12. Maybe _you_ should hide in the back. Is your _gigai_ holding up, or what?"

She grinned at him, and went to one side of the door in answer. Ichigo went to the other.

--

"I just don't understand. The Tier 3 Master Chefs aren't able to capture them? It defies logical-linear thought process."

"…I mean, if you think about it, your army is compromised of robotic versions of domestic help, so—_mwuh—!" _Now Mizuiro was gagged too.

"Domestic help huh? I'll show you what 'domestic help' can do." She gazed fondly at the large 'Alice in Wonderland' CPU.

Her gaze snapped back to the console. "In the meantime, we'll send more Chefs after them…and…"

--

This wasn't fair.

"I TOLD YOU!" Rukia shrieked, sheer adrenaline wiping out any fatigue she might have.

"TOLD ME WHAT?!" He demanded, over the roar of a vacuum cleaner that sounded like it was designed by NASA.

They rounded a corner, feet skidding.

A split second later, the Tier 4 King Cleaner followed, ramming into the wall instead of making the 90 degree turn. Ichigo glanced over his shoulder as it extracted itself, bits of the wall showered the floor.

"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SCOOSHED THE FIRST ROBOT!"

"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!"

"JUST LOOK AT WHAT'S CHASING US!"

Indeed, it did look like the round little bug-like thing he had stepped on.

Only now it was as big as a car…and sounded like one too.

A cute chuckle erupted from behind them. "_How's this?!" _the voice of Mayumi cried. _"Give it up Parents! You won't be able to outrun me for long!" _The whole compound was now under her control. She now had a 100 synchronization rate.

Ahead of them, the robot chefs waited, their knives held out and ready. There was a right turn.

Rukia's eyes widened. "They've been luring us into—"

Ichigo groaned.

An army of little floor polishers awaited them as they turned right. Behind them, The King Cleaner came to a stop, purring like a race car on neutral. The corridor was just barely wide enough for it to move. The Chefs advanced cautiously. The bug like Cleaners clattered towards them.

Ichigo pushed Rukia behind him, but she scowled up at him and moved to stand beside him. Back-to-back, they waited for their enemies approach.

"It was a good run." Ichigo muttered.

Rukia nodded. They were stuck. She could count four squads of chefs, and couldn't figure out how many more of the mini-cleaners there were. The large one was also unapproachable. "Surrender for now. Maybe we won't lose our legs."

Ichigo scowled harder, and then nodded. "Alright," he called out. "We'll go quietly. Just keep the knives away."

--

Ishida began to sweat. Things were looking bad, and he really needed those capsules out now.

"You two are unbelievable! I had to bring out the King Cleaner to recapture you! When I make you into robots, you'll probably be God-Units!"

Ichigo struggled against the mechanical arms, but could do nothing.

Behind them, the pulses of blue light began to move even faster.

"Nevertheless!" She announced. "You're here now. I'm pleased!"

Ichigo glanced at Rukia balefully - Katobeto must have inserted her 'flair' for drama.

Mayumi spun to the console, and three bars filled up fully, and glowed green. The pulses running on the wall cackled, as if unable to contain the energy that was flowing into the _Menos Grande_ CPU. "You will tremble at the sight of the robot that will conquer the world!"

The walls shook and the blue pulses raced into the CPU like a heartbeat gone wild—!

"_Behold!"_ Mayumi commanded. _"The Tier 5…Combat Butler, _AI EX!"

The CPU walls shunted down, slowly.

Jaws dropped in horror as it stood, a mess of metal and wiring, its monocled eye gleaming bright yellow. A perfect robotic parody of a butler, right down to the jacket, bow tie, and kerchief in the pocket - and about twenty-odd feet tall.

Oh my fucking _god_, Ishida swore, sweating profusely from his attempts. _SCREW SUBTLETY!_ He kicked off his shoes, lifted his feet to his hands, and began working the capsules up while everyone's attention was focused on the giant robot.

It towered over them, bathing in their brain-death, as Mayumi laughed maniacally.

"Ah! Orihime cried. "AI-san you liar! You _did_ have a robot body!"

…_**Yes, well—**_

"Kuchiki—!" Ishida shouted, using his socked feet to throw her the capsules he had worked so hard to get out.

She caught them, sensing the power stored inside, slammed it against the arm holding her captive. **"Blue Fire, Fall—!" **She cried.

In a burst of bright light, circuitry tore, and the arms became slack.

"Ah!" Orihime cried. "Ishida-kun you liar! You _did_ have an anti-robot weapon!"

Tatsuki hung her head.

Three more arms were already coming at them from the walls.

"Keep them busy!" Ichigo said, rushing towards Mayumi. Rukia turned to face the arms that were already moving towards her.

"_No offence Father, but you're only human!" _She sent three steel arms rushing at him, her last defence.

The captives stared at the showdown.

The robot arms holding them though seemed to be just as enthralled as everyone else, and the one gagging Keigo went slack for a moment. He laughed gleefully. "…Fools! Don't underestimate Orange-kun of Karakura River!" He declared, as Ichigo dodged two arms with ease. "His one Gangster-Killing Kick is—!"

Ichigo's right leg pulled back—!

"Invincible!"

The arm flew to the side, leaving the way to Mayumi clear.

The slack arm stuffed a gag into Keigo's mouth again.

…_Did Ichigo ever have nick-name? _Chad pondered blinkingly at Keigo, while Ichigo grabbed Mayumi by her back collar.

"_Father! You wouldn't—!" _She shrieked as he made to smash her—!

-and then Ichigo groaned, straining at the hesitation in his arms. Why did it have to look so real!?

"…ICHIGOOOOO—!" Groaned five exasperated voices and two muffled ones simultaneously.

"I GET IT ALRIGHT!?"

"Someone help me!" The tot cried.

_**At your service, my mistress, **_rumbled the monster. The ground shook as it took a step forward—!

_**Click.**_

_**Doooooooooooommmmmm….**_

Ah. That was the sound of the power dying.

In everything.

Keigo spat out his gag, having been dropped from the now limp mechanical arm. "…Why is it dark now?" he asked.

--

"Well?" asked Ichigo roughly, all eight of them crowded in front of the only light source in the room.

_**All right. I'm back in control. After examination of the local power grid, it would seem like the entirety of Karakura has been plunged into darkness.**_

"Nuts." Mayumi muttered. "I knew I should have waited a bit for Tier 5. Macro-management is so hard."

"Hush you." Rukia chastised. "You're in big trouble."

"What about Hospitals? And fire Departments?" Orihime asked.

Tatsuki clapped her on the shoulder. "They should have emergency power."

_**As do we. Though it's only enough to bring some lights and the elevator back up.**_

"Please." Ishida muttered.

--

"Hello everyone!" Katobeto greeted, popping into the room. "How are we all doing hmm?"

The scattered, half-dead teens glared at him balefully, in various limp positions across the living room.

"I would have got here sooner, but the whole town was out of power! It was chaos. How's Mayumi?"

He blinked as they got up, and began staggering to him.

"Is…did…something happen?"

--

"So…shall we all congratulate ourselves on surviving a robot attack?" Tatsuki asked, sipping from her cup slowly. Hot chocolate and ice-cream. Great comfort food.

"…I think it went rather well - minus the fact that Ichigo nearly beat sensei to a pulp." Rukia eyed Ichigo frustratedly.

"Everyone wanted me to do it."

"It doesn't matter."

Tatsuki shrugged. "At least he approved of letting us sleep over."

Ichigo jerked, and the look in his eyes was one of a puppy who had been beaten too many times. "…What?"

**Tsuzuku**

**Anna, **thanks for the review, I'm honoured to be your first. Some things I need to clear up, my penname isn't **Tsuzuku** XD It's Advent Wing. Tsuzuku means something on the lines of 'To Be Continued'. You can find it at the end of J-Drama episodes, certain old anime, and sometimes at the end of the college essays of desperate students (it'd be in English).

There are plenty of authors who wouldn't mind a word or two. Here's to your next review XD

Next, Confession Arc whee.

Also, yes, I watched Iron Man. Those helper robots were too damn cute.


	18. The Midnight Carnival

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach!  
A/N: Oh hell, I really, really want to just crawl somewhere and die now. Sorry (probably won't cover it but) to all who've been waiting, and hey to any new readers - this is chapter 18!

**To the Wind**_  
Chapter 18  
By Advent Wing_

"_Ghrjk," _grunted Ichigo into his pillow, as various joints and muscles cried foul.

It had been six days since he had set foot in the Karakura House of Horrors – six days of what he could only describe to anyone else as traumatizing. Beaten, both emotionally and physically, all he wanted to do right now was stay in bed.

After all, if he was unconscious, nothing could—

Something. Something was rubbing against his foot.

"…Mwaaa…"

"OH FOR FUCK'S—KEIGO!" He ripped the blanket away. "WHAT THE HELL!?"

Keigo mumbled something, as he slowly took stock of the fact that he was no longer in Paris, sipping wine while cuddling Rukia…but rubbing his face up against Ichigo's leg instead. "…OH GOD NO NO—

Upstairs, Rukia, Orihime and Tatsuki stirred just slightly at the noise. Rukia was tucked carefully into her blankets, clutching the largest pillow in the room to her chest. Orihime was sprawled atop her wrinkled sheets.

And Tatsuki grinned in her sleep as Keigo's muffled screams filtered gently through the floor.

---

"But don't you see?! This is our opportunity to show them just how awesome we are!"

Off to the side, Ishida wondered how Keigo managed to sound so chipper. He'd almost been strangled to an oxygen-deprived death.

"…That's it. You are not allowed to talk," the orange-haired host stated, clutching a pillow over his head and his ears. "You're banned from talking."

"Just talking?" Ishida asked sceptically. His bedding and blankets were neatly folded, his pillow on top of the pile. Showered and dressed, he looked like he'd been up for a while. "If the problem was his voice, this situation would be a lot simpler…"

Bouncing over to the armour-clad Ichigo, Keigo made one more attempt to plead his case. "C'mon, it'll be great." He leaned over the pillow-armoured Ichigo conspiratorially and stage-whispered - "I mean just _think_ how _Mrs. Kurosaki _will gush at—

Ichigo shot to his feet before Keigo could utter a '_hruk'_. "Gush at…?" He prompted.

"…_gush about how decent a guy you are!" _he tried as he was dragged up by the collar to Ichigo's eye-level.

From his position as spectator, Mizuiro smiled. "I think Keigo is learning," he commented brightly.

Ichigo threw said-Keigo at him.

"Are you all going to help?" asked in Chad's mellow tone. He was showered, dressed, and currently tying his apron easily. AI had managed to scrounge up one that fit his large frame, and he was feeling rather pleased...and as such, more talkative than usual.

Ichigo however, did not appreciate this fact. "Et tu Chad?"

"Something basic then?" The big man suggested diplomatically. "Steamed rice, miso soup. Maybe natto and omelette…"

"I'm not interested."

Chad sighed, turning to the only other guy showered and dressed. "Ishida?"

"Breakfast for me is usually pretty simple." Not to say he didn't like cooking, it's just he preferred to be efficient about things. He found it impractical to cook regularly for one.

As he gathered his blankets, Ichigo felt the tug of memory slow him down. Assuming he did cook breakfast, there was only one answer. "Pancakes," he mumbled, as little snapshots of making pancakes with Rukia early this week filtered through his mind. He grunted irritably. These days he couldn't go one morning without thinking of her, of the things they'd done….

"Why?" Mizuiro asked curiously.

"Huh?"

"Why pancakes?"

Ichigo pulled the multitude of covers over his head. "…It isn't any of your business." What used to be Ichigo was now a blanket heap – and it shifted around before finally settling down.

"And," Ichigo's muffled voice continued, "if any of you wake me before midnight tonight-

"I don't want to make _breakfast_," declared Keigo. "I want to make _awesome_ breakfast!"

He skipped past Chad and into the kitchen.

There was a moment of horrified silence.

"GOD _dammit!_" howled the blanket heap. _"_BAAAAANNED_!" _

"At ease," Chad said. "I'll handle it." He still liked to believe all Keigo needed was a firm hand and a voice of reason. He padded out the room after him.

"I'll help too." Mizuiro said brightly. "You sleep."

Ichigo grunted, mollified by the quick response of Chad and Mizuiro.

Ishida, on the other hand, crossed his arms and leaned against a sofa arm.

And eventually….

"…Orange or Watermelon?" filtered in Keigo's voice, a little away from the lounge. They were heading upstairs.

Chad's baritone voice came in hesitantly. "…For juice? …I was thinking miso-

"MISO FRUIT SOUP WHOO!"

Chad and Mizuiro's voices started up simultaneously. "…No, wait-

Ishida had left the room at 'watermelon'. Ichigo savagely flung his beloved covers at the wall.

---

Eggs…and egg shells. On the counter. On the stove. On the microwave.

Bits of baking powder, flour.

The waffle machine would never work the same again – well you couldn't really call it a waffle machine anymore anyway.

Smoke - and Ichigo groaned. Even with the ventilation on it hung in the air. The blender – why had it been such a struggle to decide what kind of fruit juice to make?

…_**My kitchen.**_ AI managed, with as much dismay as his monotone would allow.

"No. No. This can be fixed." Ichigo's eyes darted from one disaster to the other, checking each off mentally. "This can be—" Keigo's soup burst into flames, the oven-door fell of its hinges, the toaster _dinged _valiantly but then leaped off the counter to its doom.

Silence...

Keigo inched close to Chad, and away from Ichigo. "Can it still be fixed?" he asked Chad quietly.

"K-Katobeto…will…kill us." Rukia's stunned voice—wait, Rukia?

"…No." Chad replied. "No."

---

"What the hell happened?"

The four others (Ishida had been cowed into it too) were on the receiving end of one of Tatsuki's 'seriously angry rants', legs tucked underneath them in _seiza _position like good, proper, repentant kids. It was a situation out of hell - when they tried to glance away from Tatsuki, Orihime's disapproving glare was there to meet them.

The goal of the lecture was to tell them they were idiots and that they'd clean up—as best as they could—as well as split the repair bills…but….

Ichigo winced as Tatsuki got into her stride, with any pauses for oxygen filled in with Orihime's "Yeah, that's right!"

He wouldn't be surprised to see four quivering masses of sub-human flesh rather than four males later.

"Pay attention!" Rukia snapped, dragging him by the collar to face her again.

He glared down at her. "What the hell could I have done? I was against the whole damn thing anyway!"

"Oh really?" Her angry blue gaze seared him as she crossed her arms. "You're telling me there was no way to keep things under control?"

Okay, so maybe he'd gotten caught up with the idea of grinning smugly when Rukia tasted the food – not that he'd admit that. Come to think of it, they'd all gotten a _little _zealous for some reason or another. He rubbed his head tiredly. Stopping them became telling them what they were doing wrong - which became competing with them…which became…

_**It er, all comes up to quite a bit of money, **_commented AI EX, somehow conveying hesitation in his monotone voice.

"…Oh." Muttered Ichigo wearily.

"…PART-TIME JOBS—!" came Tatsuki's muffled shout, punctuating the end of the AI butler's statement rather gloomily as she continued her rant in the next room.

_**But, **_he continued, anxious to elevate the dark mood his master and mistress had fallen into,_** if you split it, I don't believe it will be a figure your parents will disown you over.**_

Rukia breathed an audible sigh of relief. "That's great AI-san."

"You don't have—" Ichigo swallowed what he was going to say "—you're staying at my place remember?"

She gave him a bland look, which he read as 'you won't pay for me?'

He slammed a fist down on the kitchen counter. "There's a limit to the amount of freeloading you can do!"

---

"Whiiiiine."

"Biiiiiitch…."

"Whiiiiiiine…."

Chad sighed.

"Keigo…" began Tatsuki irritably as she mopped. "If you think that _I _think going 'whine, bitch, whine' is better than actually voicing your complaints I think you need another kick to the head."

"Give me a minute, I'll do it." Ichigo said as he scrubbed away whatever psycho-concoction had stuck to the plates. All of them had snapped up the head-scarves and aprons that AI-EX had provided for them, and gotten down to some serious cleaning.

Keigo jerked like he'd been electrified. He turned to everyone else. "HEY GUYS—"

He was met by Ichigo's foot.

Tatsuki sighed as she placed one hand on her hip.

"What'd he do?" enquired Rukia, poking at Keigo with her broom.

"I'd bet every damn thing I own that he was going to say 'Hey guys, let's bring the cleaner-bots online!' or something."

---

"Got it?" Tatsuki asked.

They nodded.

And with that, the door slammed shut with a heavy _bang!_

"_Shopping_." Ishida spat the word out like it tasted bad.

"More like, get out, and get lost till afternoon," muttered Ichigo under his breath as they stood staring at the door.

"You know," commented Chad, "we can actually pick up a few of the things we need at my house."

"I feel we're pretty lucky to escape with this little," Mizuiro said, shoving still sweaty palms into his pockets. He'd been one of the first to scamper out the door. "You really pissed off Tatsuki, Keigo…"

"You think?" he pondered, considering it seriously for a change. "She's surprisingly sensitive about these things huh?"

"Things?"

"Well you know, what's proper and stuff. She rants about not making moves on the new student, tells us not to wake up late when we were carpooling…"

"Goes ballistic when you spy on her at the hot springs, wants to kill you for messing up another person's house…" Mizuiro rolled his eyes. "Dude, I think you're reading too much into it."

"Am I? Just think about it for a second, all of you."

"Well…" began four other voices.

"Maybe you have a point…okay, I got it. Choose between Big sister Complex or High Martial Artist's Honour."

"I would say…"

Ichigo, Ishida and Chad shuddered as whatever senses they'd honed in their short time as spiritual warriors pricked at them.

"…Suppressed Sexual Tension!" crowed Keigo.

The door was flung open savagely, and they bolted immediately…which was good because Tatsuki heard every word.

"_Why do you want to die sooooooo bad?!_" she shrieked as they sprinted in the general direction of the shopping precinct.

---

"The thing is, we have like four hours till we have to head back."

"Video games!"

"No," Ichigo snapped at Keigo reflexively.

"We'd have time, I guess," Ishida said neutrally, not wanting to admit that he was agreeing with the idiot.

"Yeah, but I don't have cash for the arcade," snapped Ichigo. Rukia's earlier manga spree had made him a very poor teen.

"There's a bowling alley too." Mizuiro chipped in.

"I can't bowl." Chad said quietly. "Is it fun?"

"HELLO?"

"Sure it's fun!" Keigo said, clapping him on the back. "And there's a café there and it's a great place to pick up—_meep_."

Ichigo tightened his grip on the back of Keigo's neck further. "…No one is listening to me. Why?"

"…guh…keh…merried…can't…."

Mizuiro frowned. "Ichigo you'll have to let up, even I can't translate this."

Ichigo eased up, but didn't release him.

"KAH!" Keigo breathed, suddenly limp in Ichigo's grip. Ichigo let go in mild surprise, and with that the wily teen danced away. "Freedom!"

"Hey!" Ichigo snapped irritably.

_Playing dead…is he like, an animal? w_ondered Chad.

"Allow me to explain! You! Are!" he took a depth breath "…a traitor!"

"…to what?"

"The Bachelor Brigade of course!"

"…the what?"

"I get some on a regular basis." Mizuiro commented.

"Bachelor. I said Bachelor."

"Ah."

Ichigo kept staring. "…the what?"

Ishida looked like he was going to throw up.

Keigo continued.

"I mean, think about it. You're the only guy out of us married!"

"What the hell does that—

"He does not protest!"

—we aren't married!" Ichigo snapped as he dove at Keigo.

"You're as good as!" the youth taunted as he slipped away. "Neeee, Ichigo, could you be a dear and pick up some snacks? I think it's best if you get out the house, and out of my way once in a while." Keigo then held his hands up like a puppy.

"Woof, woof!" he barked cutely, to a steaming and shaking Ichigo.

"Oh fuck Keigo, I'm going to—! HOLD STILL!_"_

"Ichigo's been whiiiiipped, Ichigo's been whiiiipped~" sang Keigo, using Chad as an obstacle to keep Ichigo from his neck.

"I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR LIPS OFF."

"Can he do that?" Keigo asked, ducking a grab.

"…Yes." Chad said.

"WAIT, WAIT!" Ichigo snarled as Keigo sprinted off.

---

"…And then Katobeto came in with Mayumi."

"…That must have been er…horrible." Tatsuki managed, blushing bright scarlet. She turned to the auburn culprit, who was now incapable of speech…and linear thought.

Tatsuki knocked the red-faced, wide-eyed and open-mouthed girl on the head. "Seduction tactics Hime?!"

She snapped out of it, flushing an even brighter scarlet at the phrase. "N-n-n-n-n-n-nothing like…that! I wasn't thinking of anything…like that!" She turned to Rukia and averted her gaze quickly. "It…would be really embarrassing!" A hand flew to her mouth, and her tone was awed now. "But you did it!"

Tatsuki sighed. She could see Orihime's definition of 'seduction' – 'How to propose during a wrestling match', or 'Orihime's Cooking Your Way to a Man's Heart (and his eventual death) – 101'.

Yeah. Bloody helpful. "Well, it turned out pretty well. You're really bold Rukia," she said grinning. "It's too bad Ichigo is so dense."

Rukia felt her face heat up. "It-I…I assumed it was the only way!" She tried to glare venomously at Orihime, but all she managed was a plaintive glance for help.

"Wha-I…"

Tatsuki sighed, rocking back and forth while rubbing her soles together. "Yes, yes, that's enough you two…" She stopped, and turned her gaze from the ceiling back to her friends. "The plan is fundamentally flawed. We're making this too complicated. That's no good when it comes to Ichigo. As I've said a hundred times to-" she stumbled at the deadly look in Orihime's eyes. "…_myself_…to myself…"

"To...yourself?" Rukia prompted curiously.

"…As I've said a hundred times to myself, it's no good planning complicated things around Ichigo."

"I…see," she said slowly, indeed, Ichigo was not one for complicated things. "I can see the wisdom in that." She blinked. "…But then what do you propose I do?"

Tatsuki threw her hands up into the air. "For god's sake - just go there now and confess already!!!"

"Wha?! I…"

Tatsuki stared at her flatly. "Okay. I get it - _you need time._" She then glanced at Orihime venomously. She was looking at the floor, pink and quite ashamed.

Rukia nodded quickly. "Yes! That's right! I need some time…to…prepare myself."

At the word prepare, Tatsuki nodded flatly. "Uhuh."

Rukia's gaze became steely. "Of course I've decided to do it." And then it melted again. "Just…well…not…now…you see…."

"Okay, fine. How about this. I am 100 percent sure Ichigo likes you. But even if I say it you won't believe me. So…the answer is this – How do we show him you're interested without actually spilling to him that you're totally crazy about him?"

Silence greeted her.

"…A date. Just. Ask. Him. On. A. Date."

---

Bowling. He was bowling.

"I'm…bowling." Ichigo said, dumbstruck.

Chad frowned in concentration. "Me too," he murmured, lining up for his turn.

He glided to the front, and sent the bowling ball off gently…eyes were rooted to it as it glided smoothly to the pins…and then smashed into them, earning him his sixth strike.

"That's…really great…Chad." Keigo said, maintaining a wide grin as he ground his teeth together.

Mizuiro elbowed him. "It isn't about strength…isn't that right Keigo-_sensei_?_"_

"…You just watch!" Keigo wailed, hugging his bowling ball to his chest.

Ishida was next. He managed a spare pretty easily.

"You too!" Keigo wailed again.

---

"A…date?" asked Rukia, as Orihime oooooh'ed and aaaaah'ed appreciatively in the background.

"Yes Rukia…" Tatsuki said. "Tonight in fact."

"It's brilliant. What we'll do is…"

"…ditch you two. Tried and true method."

"Ditch?" Rukia asked. Anxiety suffused her body for a reason unknown to her.

"And then, with 'The Chance!' created-

"The Chance?"

"-you tell Ichigo to make it a date!" they finished, grinning at each other the way only true Conspirators could.

"Uh…." She searched her memory for everything she'd read on concerning dates and felt her mind turn to mush.

"…Rukia." Tatsuki began, eying her flustered state carefully. "…You…haven't been on a date before?"

Rukia racked her brain for an experience that even remotely matched her definition of a date. "W-well" she stammered, stalling while she beat down the desire to shriek her frustration.

Her experience and knowledge of matters of the heart was so obviously lacking when put next to that of her two friends. She'd actually only recently discovered and devoured the shelf in Karin's room that was labelled 'romantic'

_Romance had never been possible – never even been a consideration_. Her life in Soul Society had been…she blinked. …Why hadn't she switched to a Kuchiki breathing exercise to calm herself down? What was happening to her? When did…everything…affect her so much?

"Don't worry," Tatsuki said. "We'll handle the planning."

"But…why would it work?" Rukia found herself asking.

"It's perfect cause you're implying that you like him, but not actually telling him. Hell, if he says yes, then…"

Wait what? How would this work? If she was trying to look like she was implying then Ichigo could also look like he was implying – and then he could actually _not_ feel—she swallowed. When had it become difficult to even _think _that he didn't feel the same way?

Ow. She put hands on the sides of her head in an attempt to stop the headache.

"…I am…not sure I follow…" she began, but Tatsuki and Orihime were already well into strategy. "…Hello…?"

---

Ishida was…just about…almost…ready to hate himself. "So uh…how's it been going?"

"How's what been going?"

"Have you come to a decision yet?"

"About what?"

"…about…Kuchiki."

Ichigo eyed him. "…I've been thinking about it." He said, side-stepping the issue carefully as he took a swig of his coke.

"So you're happy with just stringing her along?"

Ichigo choked on his soda. Sputtering, he turned to shiny-glasses-Ishida in disbelief. "What did you say?! I am not…how would…I wouldn't-"

The shine disappeared and Ishida looked at Ichigo with a surprisingly abashed expression. "…is what someone else would say."

"…What?"

"I've…I've been thinking about your situation," Ishida snapped.

"…Why?"

"I don't know!" The Quincy snarled. "I probably can't stand the sight of you two floundering about!" …Is what he said, but why did an image of Orihime watching them flit through his mind?

"…Okay." Ichigo managed, somewhat shell-shocked.

Ishida took a deep breath. "The point is this…"

"The point is?"

"The point is…" he glanced to the side a little embarrassedly, and folded his arms. "You know, put aside the fact that she's a Shinigami."

"…Put…aside?"

"Yeah. If she wasn't one, then there wouldn't be a problem right?"

"I-" He shook his head. He couldn't believe it. "That's the whole problem! That she's a shinigami!"

"Who's a shinigami?" asked Mizuiro jovially.

"Shut up!" they both snapped.

Mizuiro padded away sadly.

Ichigo's scowl faded somewhat. "It ain't like that. It ain't that easy."

"And why?" Ishida asked, pushing his glasses up irritably. "Think about it. Repeat what I just said to yourself if it sounds odd in my voice."

"Again, why?"

"Because that's what you'd say to me if the situation was reversed."

"…It's different…when you care about someone…"

"I don't understand. What's the damn problem?"

"Look, I…" he ran a hand through his hair. He could lose this – whatever the hell 'this' is. He felt like…if she said no…he might not be able to look her in the eye again. They'd become so close since that night when he'd taken her powers-

"She could just decide to leave – decide it won't work. I could…lose her. Things would change."

"From my perspective, you aren't worried about her, you're worried about yourself!"

Ichigo said nothing.

"Dammit," Ishida said, clarity arriving. "You're scared! And that's why you're not doing anything!"

Ichigo sipped his soda, hiding his expression, and Ishida never felt like punching him more.

"Thinking about it!" snapped Ishida angrily. "Yeah fucking right—

"…THIS IS THE KEIGO SPECIAL!" cried the youth resolutely, and Ishida and Ichigo's gazes were drawn to him.

They watched as Keigo wiggled, and then walked forward slowly. Each step was carefully measured, calculated, with a pinch of the killer bowling instinct he had trained since five minutes ago! He wound back and…

Everyone watched as the ball sailed through the air, landed a foot in front of the white targets with a wince-inducing thunderclap, bounced…

—and smashed fully into the pins.

"SSSSSSSTEEEEEEEERIKE!!!" Keigo roared, pumping his fist into the air. Ichigo and Ishida leapt out of their seats to whack him to the floor.

"YEAH, BUT ON THE WRONG LANE!" they snapped simultaneously.

The family next to them stared mutely. The youngest placed his ball back. "I don't really mind, so…."

---

"…We're back."

Tatsuki was waiting. "Great, great, now you all should start getting ready for the festival."

Ishida felt an ache grow behind his eyes. "We're really going are we?"

"Of course. Yukatas all around so-

"No. No Yukatas."

"No thanks."

"Jeans and a shirt for me."

Chad shook his head. It was unlikely they'd found one that fit.

"I call shower!" called Keigo as he ran up the stairs.

"Hoi!" Tatsuki snarled as they shouldered past her.

---

"Lousy fucking_ jackasses_." Tatsuki muttered, cursing them foully. "Even when _I'm_ wearing a yukata."

Orihime noted how chagrined her friend must be – her language was never that bad unless she was especially upset about something. "Maybe if you _told _them you were going to wear a yukata? They'd be more willing to wear one too?"

Tatsuki shrugged as lightly as possible in response. Orihime giggled. She could be cute sometimes. She crossed one fold over the other, frowned, and then tried to reverse. "Ugh, I think I messed up."

"No, you're doing it right," Rukia said, her eyes bright as she helped her along. "It was difficult for me at first too."

"But you're pretty skilled at it now." Orihime replied. "You can even do it on your own."

After helping Orihime, it was apparent that Rukia was well-versed in traditional dress. She offered to use Tatsuki as an example to teach the excited Orihime.

"Can you tie a kimono too?"

"Actually yes," Rukia mused, "I think I could help one put it on." She could count the number of appearances Kuchiki Byakuya's adopted sister made in public on one hand. She'd made them all with a kimono.

"And you've worn one?"

Rukia jerked. Remembering those early days was a chore. She nodded, the memories banished by Orihime's smile. "Actually, yes." She was suddenly reminded just how different her life had become. She wondered if things would continue like this…if she remained…_here_….

"I see…" sighed Orihime despondently.

"I take it that you haven't?" Rukia ventured.

"Nope," the auburn admitted. "And when I used a yukata for summer, Sora-nii would tie it for me. He was pretty bad at it."

Tatsuki patted Orihime's head comfortingly, while Rukia lowered her eyes. "Mmm."

---

"We're going to be late," Mizuiro sighed. "What are they doing up there anyway?"

Chad shrugged. "Someone should go and call them."

"Me!" exclaimed Keigo happily.

Ichigo pushed him back onto the couch.

"You know maybe we really should just kill him," commented Ishida coldly.

Keigo glared. "If not me, then who?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. 'If not me'. He couldn't believe how freaking stupid he was—"Oh hell no!" he snapped as he turned to face the stares pricking the back of his neck.

---

"Say Rukia," Orihime began suddenly. "Do you come from a really traditional family? I mean, you mentioned your brother was refined, but…"

Rukia's fingers hesitated for second over Tatsuki's light blue. "Yes. I do. It's a very…ah…_old_…family."

---

"Lousy fucking _jackasses_." Ichigo muttered as he stomped up the steps.

---

"Is…well, is that why you're having trouble confessing? You think they won't approve or something?"

"…Yes." Rukia admitted. "Among other things. But yes, my…family…is the biggest reason."

"They won't like it?" enquired Tatsuki.

_Like it?_ she asked bitterly. Giving shinigami powers to a human was one thing, but what she was doing went beyond the hell was she planning on doing…stay here? Her eyes began to sting and she cursed herself for it.

Tatsuki's eyes softened. "They aren't here right?"

"Still overseas."

"Then…isn't it okay?"

"No."

"Why?"

_Because I'm a Shinigami! _She bit her lip to keep from shouting it out.

---

In his anger, he pushed the door open heedlessly.

Rukia's lithe form was swathed with white butterflies on a deep, soft black. Her hair was swept up and clipped to the back of her head – and he stared into eyes made a deeper blue with surprise.

"What are you-" He began, struck down in the doorway. "…Rukia."

All three girls were suddenly aware of a deep-seated emotional hijacking. It was probably caused by the violation of one of the 'laws' that all three had in common.

This particular law was – 'Kurosaki Ichigo could not be in the room while I am changing'.

"K-" Orihime began, crossing her arms over her chest. "KYAAAAAAAAAA—!" She cried, squeezing her eyes shut as she screamed her lungs empty.

Ichigo felt his entire body jerk at that scream – and every fibre of his male body new he was doomed. He was also suddenly reminded as to _why _they didn't want to send Keigo up.

"I…wha!?" he tried, ducking a comb.

"GET OUT!" demanded Tatsuki, her face bright red. She threw a box of tissues and it _exploded_ behind him after he ducked it.

"WHAT THE HELL WHY?!" he demanded, legs shaking as he stared at what used to be a box of tissues. It wasn't a question. He wasn't asking _why_ he should get out, but rather _why_ the judge had decided on _death_. He let out a very un-Ichigo like squeak as Tatsuki lifted a heavy mahogany chair.

"JUST. GET. OOOOOOUUUUTTTTT!"

"A-ALRIGHT!" he managed, eyes widening as said chair flew towards him. "ALRIGHT!" he screamed again, to make sure another one wouldn't be on the way. He held out his hands and caught it…more like received it – stumbling back as he did. He fell over, the chair thumped to the side, Tatsuki stormed up to him, over him, drilling a red-faced glare into him while Orihime and Rukia watched, both equally scarlet.

He squeezed his eyes shut…and then the door slammed closed, Tatsuki had left.

He crawled away.

Inside, the three stood, searching each other's face…when… "Hey," Orihime commented. "We're mostly dressed."

Something that might have been regret shot over Tatsuki's face but she squashed it down easily. "I…It's the principle of the matter. He should've knocked." She glanced around, looking for an ally. Her gaze zeroed in on Rukia, Rukia would _definitely_ agree with her. "Right Rukia?"

Rukia fought her blush down. "Huh?!" she exclaimed, shaken out of thinking about how dumbstruck he looked. "Er, principle! Right."

Tatsuki eyed her. "…Right." Orihime was stifling giggles. "…And what the heck's so funny?"

"K-Kurosaki's face!" she said, in between fits. "When you threw the chair at him!"

Tatsuki thought about it for a second before bursting out into laughter. Rukia pressed a hand to her mouth to stifle hers, but she eventually joined in.

Tatsuki's yukata would have to be redone, Rukia mused. She and Orihime had ruffled theirs a little too.

She supposed they'd have to retie them.

---

It was amazing how Keigo's tear-speckled, starry-eyed gaze still had space left for deep, glowing admiration. "Brother!" he sobbed, holding his fist to his heart. "You've come back to us!"

Ichigo stared.

"Go on!" Keigo continued. "Tell us of the glory thine eyes hath seen!"

Chad and Mizuiro stood as one to save Keigo.

---

"Fina—" muttered Ishida, but the rest died on its way out.

Orihime was clothed in reds, Rukia was a deep, soft, black, and Tatsuki was in blues.

"Surprise!" Orihime cheered.

"Wow," muttered Mizuiro, echoing the sentiments of the rest of the gang.

Tatsuki hmphed as she pulled Orihime and Rukia along. "We weren't planning on wearing them, since you guys refused to wear yours, so be grateful."

"I-!" Keigo began.

Mizuiro punched him. "Don't ruin it," he mumbled hazily.

"We'll be waiting outside, so when you're all done staring, follow."

Keigo scrambled up, his feet kicking at the floor. "HOW DO WE BE DONE WHEN YOU'RE WALKING AWAY-"

Ichigo head bowed and teeth grit, snatched him by the collar and tossed him to Chad.

"…No one will know." Ishida mumbled, any patience for the hyperactive youth long-expired. "We could do it now."

_**Photo op! **_AI interjected gleefully.

---

Keigo knew exactly who he had to thank for all this.

Ichigo.

And God of course.

_Thanks God!_ he cheered.

It'd started with Rukia, and now Orihime was hanging out with them on a regular basis.

It was…amazing, he decided, ogling them as they walked ahead. "_Aaaaah." _He sighed happily. "Is this what it feels like to have a girl in each arm?"

He kept a safe distance of course, wouldn't want Ichigo slamming on him anymore than he already had, asking with grit teeth—

"Why are you ogling Orihime and Rukia?" demanded Tatsuki, just barely masking the murderous intent behind her question.

"Hiiiii!" he squeaked—"Hiiii…hi. HI." He said, stiffening, his step faltered and he forced his legs to move.

They did so woodenly.

"Hello." He continued.

Tatsuki sighed as she glared at him, one eye open like she couldn't believe it and the other closed like she wanted to erase the image. "…I've got something to tell you so listen carefully."

"Hm?" Keigo asked curiously. "For me?"

"Yeah," she sighed despondently. She leaned in and told him.

He blinked once he'd heard and she rolled her eyes as she watched the gears in his head rotate…

…inch

…by

…inch—"Just say something stupid already so I can ask Ishida," she snapped.

"…Well…"

**Tsuzuku**

A/N: OKAY. NEW TACTIC. Chapter 19, out in three days! Even if I have to write all night for three nights! Even if I have to resort to questionable and dangerous substances! Real life be damned and sleep is for the weak!


End file.
